Blend
by Lbug84
Summary: "You aren't the only one with a child to protect." An Everlark Modern Day AU about becoming a blended family. Daddy!Peeta, Mommy!Katniss, adultery, mature content, lemons, explicit language
1. Prologue: I Am a Sinner

**Hello there! Thank you for reading.**

**A blended family is formed when people marry while still raising children from previous relationships. Think Jada & Will, Ashton & Demi, etc.**

**I wrote this after reading a few Daddy!Peeta fics. I fell in love with the idea of Peeta as a father. And so this is an Everlark modern day AU story about how complicated, messy, and yet still beautiful becoming a blended family can be.**

**Thank you to Lauralulubee for playing beta for me with this prologue.**

**I own nothing. Characters by Suzanne Collins, quotes from music by Kendrick Lamar.**

**I hope you enjoy it.**

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_"I am a sinner, who's probably gonna sin again. Lord forgive me. Lord forgive me, things I don't understand. Sometimes I need to be alone..."_

I always knew I'd get married.

We met as undeclared first-years at the University of Virginia. I'm a local girl, born and raised right here in Charlottesville. Gale moved here from London two weeks before freshman orientation. We bonded over a mutual love of horses, and spent many hours of our 'courtship', his word not mine, riding through the country together.

I knew when he was going to propose, I expected it. I didn't expect our short engagement or a wedding at the Boars Head Inn before graduation with 500 guests in attendance from either side of the "pond." That had been Gale's idea. I didn't imagine the 7 tier fruit cake either. That had also been Gale's idea. Apparently it's the traditional wedding cake of England. But to me, fruit cake is something you get for Christmas from someone you don't particularly like. I remember how I bit my tongue to hide my disappointment as I cut into the cake. Looking back, it was the first of many disappointments in our marriage.

I always knew I'd be a mother.

Though, if I'm honest with myself, I'll admit that didn't particularly want motherhood. I didn't imagine I'd have a child so soon in my life. Or in my marriage. But, I wouldn't trade it for anything. We welcomed our daughter, Rue, before our first year anniversary. She'll turn five next month.

Gale has missed her last two birthday celebrations.

As I sit in the living room of our gorgeous suburban home in the valley of the Shenandoah Mountains, flipping through our family album, the signs become all too clear. My forced smiles hold the hidden story of a woman who got everything she expected, but nothing the way she imagined.

Perhaps it's a selfish thought. Perhaps if I told myself I were happy, I could've believed it. Perhaps then, I wouldn't be sitting here, the smell of sex with another man still lingering on my skin.

Tonight began like any other Friday night. I dropped Rue off at my sister Prim's house for her weekly sleepover with her cousin Posy. I feel bad dropping her off tonight, because she hasn't seen Gale since Sunday afternoon - between him working 16 hour days with his hour-long commute to Richmond and her sleep schedule, they haven't caught each other. But, If we cut our date night short, we can stop here and he can say hello, I reason. No need to upset Rue and Posy's plans. I returned home and gussied up in a short off the shoulder red dress. Gale loves this dress. He says it shouldn't be legal for me to wear it. I wore my hair loose, just the way he likes it, I went to the restaurant and I waited for him to arrive.

But he didn't. Last minute conference call to Hong Kong or some shit. It's always something. I wasn't surprised when Gale's assistant Thom arrived. It was the 6th date night in a row I've spent with him, after all.

Thom's fingertips grazed my exposed shoulder.

"He doesn't appreciate you," he said.

I finished my 4th glass of merlot with a gulp and smiled.

"I know," I replied.

Gale doesn't appreciate me. But Thom does.

I gave him a small smile as I pushed away from the table. I walked though the restaurant floor, watching couples at various stages in their relationships. The girl with the red hair pulled into a ponytail sitting on the same side of the table as the man with the buzz cut – dating...6 months? The grey haired man dragging his index finger down the forearm of the young blonde who is obviously not his daughter – Sugar daddy…3 weeks?

As I entered the lavatory, I couldn't help but wonder what a casual observer would've thought upon seeing me, 3 glasses of wine deep and alone. And what then when Thom arrived. Did I smile? Was I visibly relieved to see him?

What did I see?

The girl with the brown hair smiling at the man in the 3 piece suit.

"Affair…6 weeks?" I whispered to myself.

"Are you okay?" I heard Thom call through the door.

I turned on the water and rinsed my hands. Had I really been standing there, staring at my reflection? I hardly recognized the woman who stared back.

I opened the bathroom door to tell Thom I was fine. But before I could get the words out, his lips were on mine.

"Let me make you feel good," he breathed against my mouth.

I allowed it. I let him run his hands on my body and explore my mouth with his talented tongue. And when he locked the bathroom door and took me against the wall, I allowed myself to forget how wrong it was.

Thom kissed my neck as he unzipped Gale's favorite dress. He squeezed the flesh of my thighs as he ignored the telltale chime of his blackberry. And when, he pushed into me, slowly, I knew there was nowhere else he'd rather be in that moment. Thom fucked me with an enthusiasm I haven't experienced in a long time. The sex was impulsive, but not hurried. It wasn't scheduled between meetings. It didn't conflict with anything else on the calendar. And it felt good enough, so I went through the motions. I moaned, I arched my back, I screamed as I climaxed. And when he was done, and he told me he wanted to be with me, I said nothing. Because I felt nothing. Nothing for him. And nothing for Gale. I stood up, gathered my belongings and left.

I arrived home at nearly 5 this morning. I still haven't showered. I don't care.

Gale didn't come home last night. He wouldn't have noticed if I didn't either. A thought occurs that I could do this. I could have an affair. Gale would never know. But the thought makes my stomach turn. This isn't what marriage is supposed to be. This isn't who I want to be as a married woman. I'm not ashamed of my behavior tonight, but I don't care to make routine out of it either.

I sit for hours. I've dozed off with the album in my hands as I hear the door to our house finally open. I look towards the grandfather clock. It's nearly 8.

"Hey Catnip. You didn't wait up for me, did you love?" Gale asks. He sounds slightly annoyed. There was a time when I would wait up for him, when he couldn't wait to come home, when he would make love to me against every surface of the house no matter the hour of his arrival. But those days are in the past. He arrives home too tired to do much other than crawl into bed now. He began to actually snap at me for initiating sex if he arrived home after a certain hour.

He walks over to me and leans down to kiss the top of my head. He stills, and I hear him sniff my hair.

"Catnip?"

"I want a divorce."


	2. I Can Feel the Changes

**Thank you Lauralulubee for playing beta again.**

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_"I can feel the changes. I can feel a new life. I always knew life could be dangerous."_

Charlottesville is beautiful in the summer. The rolling hills of the Shenandoah Mountains provide a picturesque backdrop to the town. It's quiet, and calm here. An ideal place to raise a family.

The area just outside of the UVA campus is by far the busiest. The thousands of students flood the surrounding streets, darting into traffic, loitering by Littlejohn's sandwich shop, and creating lines at the Amtrak station and Greyhound stop. The campus itself is attractive. The iconic rotunda is reminiscent of a Roman-inspired America, but the whole place feels alive with 18th century patriotic pride. I spent 6 years of my life there, taking it all in, enjoying the obsession. Now, I teach at the community college. PVCC is at the top of a hill, and is surrounded on all sides with views of the purple mountain's majesty.

It's ironic that I married an Englishman, when I hail from a place that's so uniquely American.

It's been a year since Gale and I legally separated, and he still refuses to give me a divorce. He forgives my "indiscretion" and accepts his responsibility in the situation; He acknowledges his neglectful behavior. We see a marriage counselor once a week, and during our sessions, Gale is dead set on working things out. Sometimes I want to believe him. I want to forget my convictions and retreat into the bubble of what could be. But once we leave Dr. Aurelius's office, he grows cold and distant again, and scurries back to the office.

Gale moved out of our house 10 months ago, agreeing to give me my space, and he rents a studio apartment in the downtown of Richmond, only minutes from his office. Rue and I have never been there. Since he moved out, not much has changed in our day to day. Rue's school and my work are here, and Gale was gone so much anyway.

We have brunch with Gale every Sunday at our favorite cafe in downtown Charlottesville, which is basically one long street that only allows foot traffic. And, honestly, I think we see Gale more frequently now. We have become a standing appointment he has, which is something he never thought to do before - schedule family time. Though he sometimes has to cancel, he's learned to do so with the same courtesy he extends to his business associates. He has not once sent an assistant to take his place - I think he learned his lesson on that one.

It's a warm August morning and I try not to stew as he checks his blackberry for the umpteenth time.

"So we picked laser tag as the activity. Kind of fits in with the whole spy thing," I say.

"Yeah. Yeah, absolutely."

He doesn't even know what I'm talking about right now. So I steer the conversation to the weather.

"Storm is coming soon. Hope we don't get another blackout."

"Right. I… hmm?"

Sensing my frustration, he finally puts the phone down.

"Rue, why don't you go over to the dessert case and pick out your favorite one?" Gale smiles. He's trying to get rid of her so we can have an adult conversation. The same one, every time.

"Katniss, I miss you both so much."

"We miss you too," I reply. It's the truth. I miss the man I fell in love with.

"Can we end all this malarkey then?"

"What 'malarkey'?" I imitate his accent.

His eyes narrow slightly at my tease, but he continues. "This separation nonsense. We're supposed to be together. Forever."

"Gale, we've been through this." I roll my eyes. "How many hours did you work this week?"

He freezes. I've made my point.

"Let me guess. It was a real busy week?" I say.

He takes a sip of his espresso and exhales audibly. "I've got time saved up," he offers. He should have 5 years worth of vacation time. I can't remember the last time he even took a sick day. "We could go on holiday. Just us three. Lets say... The 24th. That's in 3 weeks."

Okay. Maybe I'm being hard on him. I haven't had a vacation in years either. I smile a little and I see him return it. "Well...We can't go on the 24th. We-"

"Shit, the merger goes through on the 25th. I'll be out of town from the 21st to the -"

I grit my teeth and throw my napkin onto my plate.

"Kat?" he queries, obviously not understanding my sudden and completely justified anger. "Bloody hell, Katniss, what is it?" I roll my eyes and suck my teeth in disappointment. He's going to miss it. Again.

I stand up and walk over to Rue whose got her little hands pressed up against the glass as she stares at a beautifully decorated cake. I kneel down next to her.

"Rue, honey. It's time to go. Say good bye to your daddy."

"But I didn't have dessert yet. And look at that pretty cake mommy."

The cake catches my eye. It really is quite beautiful. It's decorated with buttercream and sugar balls - something I saw on food network as being ridiculously hard to do. And this cake has dozens of them. It looks like its covered in bubbles.

"Now, Rue. And, remind your daddy about your birthday party."

Rue's party is on the 24th. I've covered for Gale at her birthdays enough. If he's not going to make it, he's going to have to tell her himself and stop leaving me holding the bag on his fuck ups. I flag down the woman behind the counter and ask her to pack up a few cookies for the road. She hands me the bag, and says she'll add it to the tab.

"Wait," I stop her. "Did you get a new baker? That cake- it's exquisite."

"No, we got it from that bakery over on Monticello, Mellarks'. I...I think I have their card here somewhere..." She digs around the drawer a bit and produces a small business card. It's white with blue raised ink. It's not necessary. Charlottesville is a smallish town and I think I've passed the place a few times. I accept the card anyway and thank her.

I'm about to read it when I hear Rue's voice. She's crying and Gale is hugging her closely. Rue pushes him away from her and runs back to me, making a scene in the small cafe.

"He's not coming," she sobs and she wraps her arms around my legs. "He promised he'd come."

"I'm sorry, baby."

"Let's go. I don't want to see his stupid face right now!"

I have to force myself not to laugh at that. I don't want to see his stupid face either. I glance over at Gale and he's looking at me apologetically. I give him a neutral face and turn back to Rue.

"Rue, I have an important mission to go on. And only the biggest bravest super spy can help me with it."

Her breathing shallows as she tries to hold back her tears. I've piqued her interest. "What mission?" She asks. I extend the bakery's business card.

"That cake came from this bakery. I need your help to find it. Can you read it to me?"

"The pretty bubble cake?"

"Mmhmm..."

She takes the business card from my hand and attempts to read it aloud.

"Meee... Lay...ar...k...SSS"

"Very good, sweetie. This place is across town. I think we should go check it out. Looks like they might know how to make a cake for a spy birthday coming up...Unless, you'd rather go home?"

"No!"

"Okay then. Lets go!"

Rue and I exit the cafe without giving Gale another glance. We climb into the car, and head for Mellarks' I put the address into the GPS and turn the volume down so that Rue can play navigator for me.

"There it is! Stop, mommy!"

"Okay, honey I'm going to pull into the parking lot."

The bakery looks like it's a two family house, with two doors of entry side by side. I imagine whoever lives next door to be constantly hungry, living next door to a bakery. I remember working at Ben n Jerry's in college and the smell of waffle cones made getting any work done impossible. I had to resign forbnutritional reasons alone.

Rue is bouncing with excitement as I unstrap her from her booster seat and walk through the parking lot to the bakery. The bell dings as we enter.

"Welcome to Mellarks'," a girl smiles. She's young- 12? 13, maybe?- with curly long blonde hair and beautiful round blue eyes. She stands behind the counter and looks genuinely happy to see us.

"Wow, you're really pretty," Rue exclaims. She's right. The girl is striking.

"Thank you," she says with a blush.

"Hi," I say as I take in my surroundings.

"We saw that pretty bubble cake you made. And we wanna know if you can make other pretty cakes." Rue continues.

"Of course we can," the girl answers. "Want to see?" She looks to me to see if it's okay. I nod.

She retrieves a book and walks from behind the counter. She sits in a chair in the cafe section of the bakery and motions for Rue to join her.

"I'm DJ, by the way."

"I'm Rue."

"Katniss," I chime in still wandering around the beautiful bakery front. I linger when I reach the bread section, and marvel at how big their selection is.

DJ and Rue flip through the pages of the book together and Rue cannot contain herself.

"Wow! That's amazing...look at that one!" She exclaims looking at the pictures of the cakes they've made.

"Who makes the cakes?" I ask.

"My dad," she replies turning the page again. "He can bake anything," she says mostly to Rue.

"Even a spy cake?" Rue asks hopefully.

"Hmm, I've never seen a spy cake before. But if anyone can make one, it's him."

"Could we speak with him?" I ask. "We may want to place an order."

"Of course. I'll go get him," DJ says handing the book off to Rue.

I stand with my back to the counter, still amazed by the wall of bread when a voice breaks me from my trance.

"May I help you?"

His accent is deliciously Virginian and relaxes me. It's not a full drawl, but it's just enough to let you know he's from south of the Mason-Dixon. I turn around and smile politely. I'm met with a pair of amazing blue eyes, every bit as beautiful as DJ's. When I meet them, I swear his smile gets wider and my gaze drifts to his lips, his perfectly plump, delicious looking lips. I can't help but lick my own as I stare. They begin to move. He's speaking, but I've missed it.

"What?" I say as I force my gaze up.

His lips curl up into a knowing smile. "I said, are we here for a cake tasting?"

I open my mouth to say something, but Rue beats me to it. "You look like a Disney prince." I close my eyes in embarrassment.

"Do I? Which one?"

"Ummm.. The one in beauty and the beast, at the end. Not when he's a monster."

"Well thank you. You know, with all that beautiful dark hair, you remind me of Belle."

Rue gasps at that and gives him a smile so big I'm certain her cheeks will explode.

The man does indeed look like he walked right out of the theme park. He's tall, broad with a chiseled jaw and blonde hair that curls at the ends. He looks young too. So without thinking I decide to stick my foot in my mouth.

"DJ said she was getting her father..."

"That's me. Peeta Mellark." He offers me a hand to shake.

"Oh. Sorry. You just look so young."

He flashes me a lopsided smile. "What's with all the compliments, ladies? You trying to get free cookies out of me?"

I laugh lightly.

"Now, go on and tell me about this cake. DJ said something about spies."

"Not just any spies. Super spies. The best spies in all the world!" Rue begins.

We sit and look through the book some more. DJ brings out little squares of different types of cake they make for us to try. Rue talks passionately about what a spy cake entails, but all I gather from her explanation is that it should be pink. I let her run the rest of the meeting. This cake is going on Gale's credit card, so it can be as elaborate as she wants. Fondant jet packs? Cool. Daddy's buying.

I stand in front of the bread again. I'm not sure how long I stare before Peeta stands next to me.

"Would you like to try some bread?"

"No. I mean, yes. That one. I'd like a loaf to go."

Peeta smiles at me then moves around the counter and over to the wall to retrieves the loaf I've requested. "Raisins and nuts," he says. "Want it sliced?"

"No thank you."

He wraps it up. "I prefer to tear at it personally. And dip it in-"

"Hot chocolate," we say at the say time.

Our eyes meet. Blue on grey. His expression is unreadable, but his breathing has deepened. He hands me the loaf.

"Yes," he exhales. "So this cake..."

He begins to drag a pencil over the paper in front of him. His sketch of the cake I assume. I glance back over to Rue who is happily talking with DJ.

"Whatever Rue wants is fine," I say.

I retrieve my wallet from my purse and hand him Gale's credit card with my left hand. Peeta accepts my outstretched hand and his gaze lingers on my fingers and my lack of wedding ring. Upon noticing him doing this, I look down toward his left hand. I silently berate myself for being happy to find it bare. I glance back to his eyes just in time to see his face fall as he reads the name on the card. Fuck.

I write down the name of the venue and turn away quickly.

"See you in 3 weeks," I say over my shoulder.

X

"I'm ready for mediation." I say flatly.

It's the Saturday before Rue's party, and Gale and I are in marriage counseling.

"Is she serious? She can't be serious," Gale says looking at Dr. Aurelius. "You can't be serious," he says to me.

"What are we doing here, Gale?"

"We're aiming to fix our marriage. Aren't we?"

"You moved out 10 months ago. I could've filed a complaint in May" I argue.

"But, you haven't…" Gale says hopefully.

"Because you should."

"I don't want a divorce, Catnip. I want to come home to you."

"Why? How can you want that? How can you still want me?"

"Of course I still want you. I love you." I flinch at that. Those three words that used to bring me so much joy now twist my stomach into knots. Gale continues to speak. "I accept my responsibility in this. Your… indiscretion was as much my fault as it was yours. More maybe."

"No. It wasn't," I say defeated.

"Why do you feel the need to shoulder the blame yourself, Katniss?" Dr. Aurelius questions.

"Because I knew what I was doing."

"You were drunk, love."

"I knew what I was doing," I repeat sternly. "I knew...and I didn't care."

"If Gale had shown up to dinner that night, where do you think you'd be right now?"

"I don't know. Probably still here. It wasn't just that one night. By then, he'd been putting me last for so long."

"I have to work!" Gale adds defensively.

"Fuck, Gale! No one's reading your resume at your eulogy!"

"Okay. I think that's enough for today," Dr. Aurelius says.

I bolt out of his office as fast as I can.

X

Feeling like I deserve a reward for dealing with that hellish marriage counseling session, I decide to visit Sae's stables. Riding has always been my outlet.

I toss aside the curry and tighten Sally's girth before I open the door of her stall and lead her to the arena.

"Go easy on her today," Sae cautions. "She got spooked earlier."

I rub my hand up and down the length of Sally's nose a few times and she nudges against me. It's easy to spook a horse. They don't know how big they are. And if you look at the placement of their eyes on their head, and try to imagine the world as they perceive it, I imagine you'd spook easy too. Add that to generations of inbreeding, and it's amazing they can be calmed at all.

"Just a few jumps," I call back to her. "We'll be in four, alright?" Sae nods.

Sally is a polo pony, a thoroughbred 15 hands high with beautiful brown and white markings, that Gale and I have leased from Sae since we were third-years in undergrad. I make it a point to ride her at least twice a week. It's not enough to break in a horse, even a breed meant for riding. They need to be ridden regularly, or they may forget themselves, and their rider. I chuckle lightly to myself, wishing my husband would have ridden me regularly. I guess I have a lot more in common with Sally than I realized.

The wind blows in my face as Sally soars over each obstacle with ease. We've done this course together a million times, and we move together flawlessly. That is until Sally keeps trying to veer off course and wander over to the edge of the fence.

"Woah, girl," I say, pressing my leg into her so hard I know my inner thigh will be sore tomorrow. Her stubbornness persists and I look over toward the arena set aside for polo scrimmages. There's a man carelessly lunging a horse in there, not noticing whether any polo ponies are out. Seeing a horse in that arena must be confusing an already skittish Sally, whose job it is in that particular arena to knock other horses out of the way so I can get at the ball. I roll my eyes at the lack of consideration, and think about moving over to another arena or maybe just calling it a day. I look over to the man again. From here I can make out a mop of blond curls, as he spins towards me. Before I can see his face, Sally rears up and takes off back towards the stables like a bat out of hell.

We approach the stables and it's clear I've lost control. I'm merely a passenger along for the ride as Sally gallops along at full speed. I consider bailing out, but last time I did that I rolled and hit my head, and probably did more damage than if I'd stayed on the damn horse. I'm out of time for that anyway. We've reached the narrowed dirt trail leading to the stables. Hearing the commotion, Sae jumps in front of us and raises her hands above her head yelling "Hey." Sally is startled and rears up again and as soon as her front hooves hit the ground I swing over my leg over her and drop down beside her, landing on my butt. I scurry backwards on my hands and feet to get from under Sally's stomping range and watch as Sae grabs ahold of the bit and leads Sally on a walk around the stable.

I assess my situation - I'm not bleeding, and I don't think I hit my head on anything. But, my tailbone hurts like hell and its a minute before I can wiggle the toes on my right foot. My half-chaps are on pretty tight though, so I loosen them up and try again with more success. I've just taken off my helmet and am rocking my head from side to side when Sae returns.

"What happened out there, girl? Not like you to lose control," she says as she crouches down and moves my foot side to side.

"Some Yankee is out there lunging a horse in 5," I grumble. "Looked like Becky, but she's one of yours and your boys know better."

Sae's head whips around and she sucks her teeth. "That's Becky, all right. Have a new volunteer helping out." I give her a look that says "You've got to be kidding me." "Sorry about that. I'll have a word with him. You feel well enough to stand?"

"I suppose so," I say and I accept her hand as I make my way to my feet. "I landed square on my ass, but I'll stop by Prim's on my way home just to be safe."

Prim is a resident at UVA's medical center. She'll be able to check me out faster than if I make a trip to the ER. I've fallen off horses enough to know a checkup after a fall is never a bad idea. Internal bleeding is nothing to mess with. I've just gotten to my car when I hear a voice behind me.

"Are you all right, Mrs. Hawthorne?"

I think I recognize the voice and turn around to find the baker looking at me with eyes full of concern.

"Sae told me what happened."

"Yeah. I'm probably fine." I lean against the door." I'm gonna have myself looked at real quick though. Some fool was out there-"

"I'm so sorry."

"What for?"

"For being a fool," he smile sadly.

My eyes widen with realization. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Nothing! I took Becky to the wrong arena. They aren't very clearly marked. And who knew horses could be so... Temperamental."

"Bless your heart. This your first rodeo?"

"Well, yeah, actually," he rubs the back of his neck with his hand. I stare at him in disbelief. I find it hard to believe that a man from around here has had so little exposure to horses.

"It's Peter, right? What are you doing here anyway?" I ask.

"Peet-AH. DJ wanted us to take up riding."

"DJ?"

"My daughter."

"Oh. Right."

"We're helping Sae out around here in exchange for lessons. Today's my first shift."

I grimace as I shift my weight around, not hiding my disinterest in his words. It's not disinterest in him actually so much as it is interest in pain radiating from my tailbone.

"You sure you're okay?" he asks.

I groan a little. "What do you know about falling off a horse?"

"That you're supposed to get back on?"

I shoot him a look. I push myself off the car door open it and lean down to pop the trunk. "The pain comes in waves. I expect the worst of it to hit me sometime tomorrow."

I walk to the back of the car and Peeta follows me. I pull an ice pack out of the trunk, pop the internal bladder and give it a shake letting it get cool. I unbutton my jeans, press the ice pack to my tailbone inside of the denim, and let out a sigh of relief. I push my riding equipment to the side and take a seat in the open trunk. I close my eyes and bring my right hand to unbraid my hair, which has messily come loose anyway. I push my hair behind my shoulder and slowly run my fingertips from my ear down the length of my neck. I let out a hum as I press lightly on my clavicle moving inward closer towards my breastbone. I open my eyes to find Peeta watching me. I'd almost forgotten he was even there.

"Damn, you're beautiful," he says quietly.

I give him a confused look, as I continue to press down my breastbone, checking for signs of bruising. I'm sitting here filthy and injured with my fly open and an icepack on my ass, assessing my bodily damage. Beautiful? Maybe I did hit my head.

"Did I hear you right?"

He clears his throat, but he doesn't repeat himself. "Can I drive you somewhere?"

"I'm good. I'm no damsel in distress. I'm headed over to the medical center. I know the drive like the back of my hand." I say taking my hand off my breastbone and making small circles with my right wrist in front of me. Hmm, it's clicking a little. Maybe I landed funny on it. I take a step toward the driver's side and wince.

"I insist." he wraps an arm around my waist. I can feel the heat coming off his body and smell his sweat. I resist the urge to run my tongue along his jaw. "All right," I answer without thinking any further, and I let him lead me over to his car.

We ride in relative silence. I keep busy texting Prim letting her know I'm on the way, and she let's me know that she'll meet me once I check in.

New pains have surfaced by the time I enter the medical center, and I know the right half of my body isn't in good shape. Peeta wraps my left arm around his neck and presses my body against his as he helps me walk to the counter to sign in.

"What'd you do to yourself this time?" Prim greets me, as I'm signing the sheet. "You get thrown again?" Her eyes flit to Peeta and she cocks her head to the side. "Who is this?"

"I didn't get thrown. Sally got spooked and I bailed is all," I explain.

"I'm Peeta. And I couldn't let her drive herself."

Prim barks out a laugh. "She drove herself here on a broken leg once."

"It was a hairline fracture,' I argue.

She looks back at me and rolls her eyes. "She doesn't even look that bad. But I'm going to check her out anyway. Will you wait here? Give her a ride home?" Peeta nods. Her gaze drifts back to me. "Or is there someone else I should call?" I shrug my shoulders.

Its no surprise that Gale is unreachable and so Prim arranges for Rory to pick up Rue with Posy and will keep her overnight. I give Prim my car keys, and refuse a wheelchair as she leads me to be examined.

Peeta waited for two hours while I was prodded, x-rayed, and otherwise treated. I'm sent home to rest my bruised tailbone and sprained wrist with an Rx for oxytocin for the pain. Peeta drove me home and half carried me out of the car and to my door. Here I stand, feeling fantastic, stoned out of my fucking mind - I'm pretty sure they gave me morphine while I was there - trying to unlock the front door. Feelings of euphoria take over as the world around me fades to white.

X

The light of dawn streams into my bedroom and I wake up in my bed, with no recollection of how I got here. I'm fully dressed but the blanket at the foot of the bed has been pulled up to cover me. There's a dull pain radiating from my back, and a sharper stabbing feeling coming from my wrist. I look down to find its been set in a splint. I'm reminded of yesterday. My accident at Sae's, Prim treating my sprained wrist, the baker carrying me to my bed. I blush at the thought of his strong hands pressed against my body.

And then I remember that I left my car at Sae's. And that I have a class at 3:00. I groan as I roll over to my bedside table and reach for a glass of water I didn't pour, next to a bottle of pills I didn't pick up. My hand lands on my car keys, resting on a piece of paper with a note written in neat, fat lettering.

"Mrs. Hawthorne,

I apologize again for my carelessness this afternoon. Feel better.

-Peeta"

X

"She may not want to talk to you." I say, walking toward the main room. Prim and I are decorating the upstairs of the laser tag party venue for Rue's party. She's downstairs practicing with Posy.

"Just put her on the phone, Catnip."

"Hey, Relax. I'm not saying no. I wouldn't do that. I'm walking to her right now. I just want you to be prepared. She's old enough to know when she's being back-burnered."

He sighs. "I know. It's this merger. It's-"

"She's not going to care. And neither do I." I pull the phone away from my ear. "Rue!" I yell.

"Yes, mommy?"

I extend the phone to her. "Honey, your daddy is on the phone. He wants to wish you a happy birthday," I say as even toned as I could possibly be. If she refuses to speak with him, I don't want him pinning it on me for not making the proposal sound appealing.

"Ok, mommy." I hand her the phone. "Hi daddy. I'm really busy." Cheeky kid.

"Where does this go?" a voice speaks to me from behind.

I turn around to find Peeta standing next to DJ.

"Peeta, DJ. Hi!"

He smiles at me, and I return it. My body betrays me and sends tingles down my spine as he beams at me. I haven't seen him in over a week– I haven't been back to Sae's since my wrist is still healing. And I groan inwardly as I realize I may have…. missed him. DJ smiles as she looks back and forth between us. Peeta raises his eyebrows expectedly and I notice that he's holding a large covered box in his hands, the cake.

"Upstairs in the party room," I answer. "I'll show you."

"I'm very mad at you right now so I'm giving the phone back to mommy."

Shit.

I take the phone from her. "Go play..."

"Hi, DJ! Want to play laser tag with me?" Rue asks.

DJ looks to Peeta, who looks to me. "Oh. Yeah," I mumble. I clear my throat. "Of course, DJ. Have fun."

"Only for a little while, sweetie" Peeta says to her.

"Yes, Gale?" I say putting the phone to my ear.

"Who is that?"

I'm annoyed by the possessiveness in his tone, but I choose not to have that battle today. "The cake is being delivered."

I walk up the stairs and motion for Peeta to follow me.

"Oh yeah. $250 for a cake, innit?"

"$250, Plus delivery. And anything will be an improvement over fruit cake."

I hear Gale huff. "Why didn't you tell her that I can't make brunch tomorrow?"

"I didn't realize she didn't know. Besides you should tell her that, not me."

"I'll make it up to her."

"You always do."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing! Quit picking a fight. I'm sure you'll find a way to smooth things over with Rue. But for right now I have to go. We're setting up the party."

Gale sighs in defeat. "Fine. I love y-"

I end the call before he finishes...that. Then suddenly Peeta clears his throat behind me.

"So...the cake goes..."

"Right. Sorry. Here. Over here." I gesture to the dessert table.

He sets down the box and removes a most beautiful girly spy cake. There's a pink briefcase with pink accessories - a magnifying glass, binoculars, and a notepad - all off which have a black trim. There are fondant footprints surrounding the base and even a few fingerprints drawn in icing on the clasp of the briefcase. It's detailed and beautiful. Rue will love it.

"Thanks," I say as he moves from the table.

"Sure," he smiles.

I open and close my fist a few times. A nervous habit.

"Your husband?" Peeta asks.

I furrow my brow at him. It's none of his damn business. But when I look at him I catch his eyes and I soften.

"My Ex."

"Missing her party?"

I nod. "and he's being hateful..." I trail off as I realize I'm shaking. Another missed birthday, the 4th year in a row. I'm pissed off, but I've been pushing my emotions down all day and they're apparently seeping out in other ways. I try to breathe deeply but on my next inhale I gulp the air in like I'm trapped underwater. Peeta walks over to me and collects me in his arms.

"Hey, relax. Breathe." He says. I nod quickly even though I'm still not in control of my breath. "Let's get you some air," he says.

He holds me securely by the waist as he leans over at the top of the stairs and shouts for DJ. She appears at the bottom of the stairs and he raises a hand to her, pointing up. I guess he's taking me to the roof. My legs are moving as he guides me but all my energy is focused on keeping my panic attack under control. I'm failing. I stumble on the steps and Peeta finally scoops my legs up carrying me the rest of the way. He pushes the door to the roof open and sets me down outside. I bend forward with my hands on my knees and will my breath to even out.

"How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix?"

I look up to Peeta confused. "What?"

"It causes you pain and after its gone, you realize you never needed it."

I stare at him.

"What do you call a woman without an asshole?"

I furrow my brow.

"Single!"

I chuckle lightly.

"I've got a million of 'em."

I laugh again and look into his eyes.

"Feeling better?" He asks.

"Yes," I nod my breath almost back to normal.

"Good. Ready to go back inside," he says as he tugs on the door once, twice, three times. "Shit! The doors locked."

"What!?" I say. "No, no, no," I tug on the handle of the door, but it won't budge. I reach into my pocket. My phone is downstairs. I look to Peeta expectedly. He's patting his pockets and I vaguely remember a phone on the same table as mine. I have people coming for a party in an hour. I need this door open, now!

We pound on the door. No answer. We look around the for a means of escape, but even the fire escape has a good 20 foot drop from its lowest rung to the ground. Finally, I sit down next to the door.

"DJ saw you bring me up here. She'll be here soon," I say with what I hope is confidence.

Peeta sits down next to me. "I'm sorry. I should've propped the door open."

"Don't be sorry. You were helpful. I was about to have a meltdown right there in the middle of everything. Thank you."

He smiles at me again and I relax.

"So what do you do, Mrs. Hawthorne?"

"Ms. Everdeen. Katniss. I teach over at PVCC."

"What do you teach?"

"Science. Environmental, earth and space, sometimes A&P,"

"A&P?"

"Anatomy & Physiology,"

"So is it Dr. Everdeen?"

"No, I have a masters. You?"

"No college, though I was thinking about taking a couple of classes at PVCC. For business. I inherited the bakery when my parents passed a few years ago, and I worked there ever since I was DJ's age. "

"Oh." I say trying not to convey pity, only understanding. I've lost my parents too. "I'm sorry" is something I stopped wanting to hear a long time ago. Peeta continues. "Might be good strategy to learn more about managing my business." Peeta sucks his bottom lip into his mouth. He looks contemplative for a moment, before he speaks again.

"How long have you been divorced?" Peeta asks. "I…couldn't help but notice that your house lacked a male presence."

I furrow my brow at him.

"The toilet seat was down," he explains.

I smile, trying not to blush at the fact that this man has put me to bed. And has clearly used my bathroom. I'm past being reserved. I'm too old for that shit. So, I choose to answer his question honestly.

"We're separated…a year"

Peeta makes an "O" shape with his lips and nods.

"How long have you been divorced?" I counter.

"Never been married. My high school girlfriend and I got...careless after prom." He chuckles lightly. "We gave it a shot for a while, but she had other plans with her life. So it's just me and Delly."

"Delly?"

"DJ. Delilah Jr."

"Oh."

"Yeah her mother named her after herself." He shrugs. "I allowed it."

"So, Delly Sr. isn't in the picture?"

"Nope," he says popping the P.

"That must be hard."

"Yeah, but we're good." His eyes float to the ground in front of him. He clears his throat. "Is it any easier for you?"

I sigh before I begin. "No. Gale's a banker. He works ridiculous hours. He missed birthdays, anniversaries...Date nights..." I struggle a bit with just how much to reveal now. "Sometimes we'd go a week without seeing him. It just got to be too much."

"Well, losing you should be motivation enough for him to cut back,"

"You'd think that. But here we are," I gesture around the roof with my hands. "All he's been motivated to do is stop sending in his assistants in his place cause I'll-" I cut myself off.

"You'll...what?"

"I'll fuck them."

Peeta raises his eyebrows. "Them?"

"Well, just the one. I figured we were 6 dates in," I say with a sad smile.

"You went on 6 dates with his assistant?"

"No, Gale bailed on 6 dates. Sent an attractive man in his place. It went farther than it should've. Too much to drink and all that…"

"Oh. Well, you know what? I think that was his fault."

"That's what Gale says," I sigh.

"He's right. If I had a beautiful woman dressed up and waiting on me, I wouldn't bail. And I certainly wouldn't send in an understudy- unless I expected to be replaced."

I twirl my finger around the loose hair at the end of my braid. Did he just say I'm beautiful? Again?

"Well. He may have forgiven me, but I haven't forgiven myself. I don't like cheating. That's not who I want to be. When I'm with him, I'm not the best version of myself," I admit out loud for the first time. My eyes widen in mortification. "Sorry. I didn't mean to unload on you like that."

"It's okay," he smiles. "I know what you mean. You want to be with someone who brings out the best in you."

I nod in agreement and my gaze drifts to his mouth again. Peeta licks his lips, and instinctively I do the same. His eyes grow dark and my heart beats faster at the way he's looking at me. He's hungry. And so am I. His hand comes up and rests against my neck and my breath hitches. He pulls me closer and leans in to me and I breathe in his scent. My eyes flutter closed as his lips graze mine. I inhale audibly at the contact, feeling my skin set on fire and I whimper as he pulls away. I open my eyes and meet his. He stares into me for what feel like an eternity before leaning forward again and pressing his lips to mine. Bolts of electricity shoot through me as he holds me. His lips are warm and soft and for a moment I can't believe what happening. It's been so long since I felt a man's touch, and I need to feel more of him.

"Katniss!" I hear Prim's voice behind the door, jolting me back to reality. I break away from Peeta and yell back "Prim!"

The door flies open and Peeta jumps up and keeps a hand on it, lest Prim get stuck up here too.

"Thanks, Prim. The door locked. We've been stuck up here."

"Oh." she says, her gaze darting back and forth between Peeta and myself. "Well, your guests are starting to arrive."

"That's my cue then. I'll collect DJ and be on our way," Peeta says as he passes Prim.

"DJs your daughter?" Prim questions. Peeta nods. "The kids are absolutely loving her. Couldn't she stay a while?"

"Um.. Well I'm not sure..." Peeta looks at me with an eyebrow raised.

"If you can..." I raise my eyebrows back to him.

The kids enjoy the laser tag activity, while the adults, parents of Rue's friends relax in the party room upstairs. The moms, mostly pent-up housewives, who I would never willingly befriend, fawn over Peeta while the husbands keep themselves occupied with sports talk. Prim and I mostly keep to ourselves, and keep the party running.

The highlight of the party for me is easily when Rue sees her cake. The look on her face is one parents would pay any amount of money for. Surprisingly, both Peeta and DJ look at Rue with awe as she asks if we can save the cake, and eat something different because this one is too pretty.

The rest of the party is a blur, as Rue opens her presents and a few tantrums are experienced as her classmates grow jealous - like she didn't already sit gracefully through their over-the-top bashes. Spoiled kids like that really get to me. Before I know it, we're ushering out the last guest and were left alone with Prim and Posy.

"Great party, Kat. Sorry Rory couldn't make it."

"At least he makes Posy's parties," I say. I meant that to be comforting, but the look on Prim's face let's me know I may have come off as bitter. Rory is Gale's brother, and he is far more family-oriented. I may have been a little jealous of that once upon a time, but now I'm just grateful for him. Prim deserves that.

"That cake was amazing," Prim says cleaning up and changing the subject.

"Yeah. Peeta is- wait where's Peeta?"

"He and DJ left about an hour ago."

"Oh," I say trying not to sound too disappointed. My phone vibrates in my pocket with a text message from a number I don't recognize.

_Thank you for having us today._

It could really be from any of the parents. I haven't saved any of their numbers in my phone. So I shoot back a reply that's general enough.

_Thanks for coming. Nice to see you._

Whoever you are.

_Stop by the bakery anytime this week if you want to see me again._

Oh. It's Peeta. I don't reply.

X


	3. I Like a Challenge

**Ah, I love when a new story gets a positive response. Thank you for reading and for encouraging me to continue. I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

_"I could say that I like a challenge. And you to me is painless."_

The following Wednesday, as I wander through the temporarily empty Piedmont campus, I find myself with an hour to kill before I have to pick up Rue from her last day of summer camp. I walk along the flower-lined paths and seek refuge underneath my favorite tree. I sit in the shade of the large oak and let the sunlight kiss my toes. The breeze blows strands of my hair out of its braid, and I use my fingers to comb through the rest. Alone with my thoughts, I find they drift easily to the baker. The way he looked at me, the way I felt safe and protected in his arms, and the way he kissed me with cautious passion. I've suddenly got a craving for some raisin nut bread and before long I find myself outside of Mellark's. He did say to stop by anytime.

The bell dinging announces my entry.

"Katniss!" DJ exclaims. "Ohmygod, hi. How are you? How's Rue?"

"Hi DJ. She's good. Fixin' to start first grade this year."

"Yeah, she was real excited. I hope we can play again soon. I really like her."

I smile at her kind words. "You ready for school?"

"Yes ma'am. It's my last year of middle school ," DJ smiles. "Are you here to see my dad?"

"What? No. I just. I wanted to buy some bread."

"Oh. Okay!" she grabs a loaf of raisin and nut off the shelf - how'd she know? - and wraps it up right away.

"How are your riding lessons going?"

"Good," she nods. "I really like riding, but Sae won't let me canter yet. Plus I gotta get up and muck stalls at 5 in the morning. It one thing to get up early to bake bread, it's another to clean up shit." Her face flushes, and I choose to not scold her for her language.

"It'll be all right. You'll see."

"Does Rue ride?"

"She most certainly does."

"Well maybe we can ride together?"

"Maybe."

She smiles at me and then narrows her eyes a bit. "You sure you don't want to see my dad? He's been talking about you all week. I think he really wants to see you."

Damn kid. "I could say hi, if he's not too busy."

"Go on back then!"

"Oh, no. Why don't you just tell him I'm here?"

"Oh, I get it. You're playing it cool, right? I read in Teen Vogue that you have to make boys come to you." She rests her elbows on the counter. "Katniss. What's foreplay?" My eyes widen and my mouth opens and closes a few times as I struggle to find words.

"DJ, I'm icing a cake in the back. Why don't you take over?" Peeta says. I meet his eyes and he gives me a smirk.

"Okay. See you later, Katniss."

"Bye," I say with a wave.

"Nice to see you, Katniss. You feeling less blue?"

I nod, showing him the brace I'm still wearing on my wrist. "I just stopped in for some bread."

"I see that." Peeta grabs two mugs and a large plate off the shelf behind the counter and asks "Join me for a snack?"

"Um. Well, I have to pick up Rue in an hour. Actually...45 minutes."

"A quick snack then," he insists.

I shrug my shoulders and sit at one of the tables and he soon joins me with half a loaf of raisin nut bread, several small rolls, and two mugs of hot chocolate. It all smells amazing.

"Sorry about DJ. She's full of questions."

"Yes. They're getting...complicated, huh?"

"Nothing I can't handle," he says confidently. He points to the small rolls on the plate. "Cheese buns," he smiles.

I retrieve one and take a bite. I moan quietly and my eyes roll back in my head a little. "It tastes even better than it smells. Your neighbors must hate you."

"Neighbors? No neighbors. Just us. We live in the apartment upstairs."

"Oh. Then how are you not 300 lbs?"

A smile slowly spreads across his cheeks. "Ms. Everdeen. Have you been checking me out?"

"No!" I say, a little too harshly. He holds up his hands in mock-surrender. "Well… I've been checking you out." I raise an eyebrow at him. "I'd beat around the bush, but I get the impression you'd hate that. So, cutting to the chase, I'd like to take you out sometime."

"Like... On a date?"

He flashes me a crooked smile and I feel that tingling again.

"I um... I don't know... I haven't really dated…" I trail off. I've only ever dated Gale. And Thom if you can count that. Besides, I'm honestly not sure how emotionally available I am. I know I want my marriage to be over, but I haven't thought as far as whether I'm ready to start dating.

"Katniss," he breathes and he places a hand over mine. I squeeze my thighs together and blush at the contact.

"I just want to spend some time with you."

X

"What's going on with you? Prim asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Hmm?"

She gestures to my hands, as I open and close them repeatedly. I stop immediately shake my head.

"Nothing."

"Yeah, all right."

I crouch down and unzip Rue's backpack, double checking that I've packed her favorite teddy bear.

"You seem nervous."

"I'm not."

Prim smiles at me. She can read me like a book. And, she knows me well enough to know that she will get nothing out of me. So she shrugs her shoulders and extends her hand. I pass her Rue's backpack with a smile.

"Counseling tomorrow morning?" she asks.

"Mhhm."

"I'll see you at lunchtime then?"

"Sure," I reply. "See you tomorrow."

I step outside the door and will myself to calm down. "It's not a date," I remind myself.

I look down at my outfit. I'm wearing the same dark blue jeans and light blue button down I wore to work this afternoon. I haven't showered, so this can't be a date. I unbraid my hair as I climb into my car and drive down to the Whole Foods on Hydraulic road, where I'm supposed to meet Peeta. We're meeting at a grocery store, so this can't be a date.

I pull into the parking lot and park. I rest my head on the steering wheel.

"This is a fucking date," I groan.

I pull down the mirror and begin to smooth my hair back and braid it. Then I unbraid it. Then I braid it again. I'm a hot mess. I shouldn't be here. I should just turn the key and go on home. I'm married...sort of. To a man I am no longer in love with. I tap my fingers on the dashboard as I decide that Gale alone isn't reason enough not to go in.

I wage an internal war for a few more minutes before I drag myself out of the car. I'm now ten minutes late, though I've been sitting here for twenty. I walk into the grocery store and make my way over to the cafe area. I spot Peeta sitting with a book, a cup of coffee and a single rose. The flower causes me to panic a little and I spin around and freeze. He still hasn't seen me. I can still get away.

"Katniss?"

His voice is smooth like butter and it eases my tension a little. I turn around and smile nervously at him.

His grey T-shirt and Calvin Klein jeans cling to his body in a way that makes me lick my lips. I force my gaze up to his eyes, even though they have an effect on me too.

"I got us a table," he gestures to where his belongings rest. "Unless, you were thinking about leaving...?"

Damn. Caught out there.

"Leaving? Oh. No, I'm not leaving. I just got here. So of course, I wouldn't be leaving... Yet..." I trail off having blubbered enough nonsense for one evening.

He smiles softly at me and extends his hand. I slip my hand into his and allow him to escort me to the table. I smile as he pulls my chair out for me and my eyes dart around nervously as he takes his seat.

"You match my eyes," he says.

"What?"

He reaches over and tugs lightly on the cuff of my shirt. "You match my eyes," he repeats. "Blue."

"Oh... You match my eyes," I echo pointing to his gray shirt.

"Yes, I do. You look very nice."

"I ain't showered since this morning." I close my eyes in embarrassment.

"You come here directly from work?"

"No, I dropped Rue off at Prim's...first."

"I see." he takes notice of opening and closing my hands. "Katniss, am I making you uncomfortable?"

"What? No. Why would you think that?"

"Well, you were sitting out in your car for a while, " he points out of the window where he's had a clear view of my vehicle and the craziness I displayed inside. I roll my eyes at myself. "And you're, um," he gestures to my hands, which I'm still rapidly opening and closing. I press my palms flat onto the table. I sigh and roll my eyes again.

"Is this a date?" I ask quietly.

He smiles softly. "Would you like it to be?"

"I don't date."

He nods once. "Okay."

"Is that for me?" I gesture to the flower.

"No."

I stare at him.

He smiles. "Yes. But, not if it's going to make you feel-"

"It's fine. It's just. I told you...about Gale. About what I did."

"I remember."

"Then... you kissed me."

He blushes. "I did." He takes a deep breath. "And I believe you kissed me back."

Now it's my turn to blush. Our kiss only lasted a moment, but the memory of it is threatening to soak my panties.

Suddenly I recall the sequence of events. I told him I cheated on my husband, and then a minute later he's kissing me. "Why did you kiss me?" He must think I'm easy.

"It seemed the right thing to do at the time."

"Well, I don't do that either."

Peeta nods again. "No dating. No kissing." He smiles. "I'd love to hear how Ms. Rue came to be."

I give him a look. "Well, obviously I have dated, and I have kissed before. I just feel strange doing it now."

"Well, the last thing I want to do is make you feel strange."

I sigh. "You don't. It's just complicated. I'm in the middle of a divorce and well... Rue... I have to consider how she would-"

"Katniss." He places his hand over mine. I immediately look up to meet his eyes.

"Yes?"

"You aren't the only one with a child to protect."

I allow his words to settle in my mind. "You're right. I'm sorry." I bury my face in my hands.

"It's all right. Just, relax."

"Can we start over?"

"Sure." he nods with a smile. "Can I get you some coffee?"

"Thank you, no. I look forward to sleeping on Fridays. My only night without the kid."

I release my face from my hands and Peeta watches as I bring my fingers to unbraid my hair. I rest my long brown locks over my left shoulder. "What are you reading?"

"Oh. Animal Farm."

"Really?"

Peeta shrugs his shoulders. "I find dystopian futures interesting. Also, I thought I'd reread it since I'm spending time over at Sae's. I'm learning to respect the horses."

I smile at that. It takes a lot to be able to train horses, and it starts with being able to muck stalls without fear of getting trampled. Sharing an enclosed space with a horse, cleaning up after them. Well, it's bonding time.

"You spend any time with my Sally?"

"Yes, ma'am. I've been riding her for you once a week."

My smile widens. Gale hasn't ridden Sally in over 2 years. And I haven't been back to the stables since I sprained my wrist, which is unfortunate for Sally, who needs to be ridden. If I don't do it, it doesn't get done.

Until now, apparently.

"Thank you." I try not to blush at the thought of Peeta riding Sally, how tight the muscles of his inner thighs would wrap around her as his pelvis moves with her rhythm... but I can't help it.

"So, things have been going well then?"

"I ain't caused any more accidents if that's what you're asking."

"I didn't mean-"

Peeta laughs. "All is well at Sae's. And DJ is happy there, which is what's most important to me."

I relax a little more hearing him speak about his daughter. His eyes actually sparkle. "Where is DJ tonight?"

"She's with friends."

"Does she have a curfew?"

Peeta nods and gives me a look that says "Of course." Way to go, Katniss! Insult the man's parenting.

"She's got to be home before dark." He gestures to my wrist. "How's that healing?"

"It's healing," I say.

"So we'll be seeing you back out there soon then?"

"Wild horses couldn't keep me away."

He flashes me a toothy grin. "How'd you get into riding?"

My smile disappears. "My daddy taught me and Prim when we were little girls."

"Oh, does he still ride?"

"No. My folks passed."

"Oh. "

"You know what that's like," I say quietly.

"I do."

I clear my throat. "So why Whole Foods?"

"I want to pick up a few things for the bakery. I was hoping you'd help me out."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"But, that's your work..."

"It is. I love my work. And I want to share it with you. If you'll allow it."

I raise my eyebrows at him. Gale has never once tried to include me in anything work related. He hasn't so much as taken me to a holiday party. The idea that this man wants to share his work with me is ...intriguing.

"Well, all right. Where to?"

"Let's start in the produce section."

I spend the next twenty five minutes following Peeta around as he knocks his fist against melons, pinches the skin of avocados, and rolls tomatoes back and forth between his hands. I smile as he places a crisp apple into my hand and muses about how much he loves apple picking. I watch as he steals a green grape and worries it in between his lips before finally consuming it. I blush at the way he drags his index finger across the peaches and I wonder what those fingers would feel like across my skin. I close my eyes and shake my head at myself. How can I find shopping for fruit to be such an event?

He sneaks another grape curling his tongue out between his lips to welcome it into his mouth. I stare shamelessly. And he notices.

I need to get laid.

"Doesn't it get expensive to shop here for the bakery?" I ask, trying to think of something that will make this whole experience less sexual.

Peeta smiles at me. "It can. But some things must absolutely be organic."

"The dirty dozen?" Damn. Still sounds sexy.

"Exactly," he smiles. "Another reason I'm starting business classes at PVCC next week. Want to pick up a few business tricks."

I select an unripe plum from its pyramid and press my fingertips gently against its flesh. "I wonder if there's a way your bakery could be zoned to grow your own stuff."

"Thats a great idea. But, I'm not sure I'd be any good at that. I have trouble keeping a cactus alive."

That's surprising. He's kept a human alive. He's caring and gentle...he seems like he'd be a good gardener. But, I don't press the subject. "What classes are you taking?"

"Principles of management, and a marketing class. What classes are you teaching?"

"Environmental, General Bio and A&P."

He nods "Smart woman."

I narrow my eyes at his Appalachian colloquialism. The baker is slightly more country than I'd realized.

"So what are you making that requires organic fruit?"

"Fruit cake."

I stop in my tracks as the words shoot a chill down my spine. Peeta let's out a loud laugh

"I'm just funning!"

He walks over to the strawberries and smiles as he leans over and smells them. I follow a moment later, standing beside him, still visibly tense.

"Fruit cake is the official wedding cake in England."

"Now, why would you know a thing like that?" he asks as he places 5 packs of strawberries into his cart.

"Married an Englishman," I say quietly.

"Oh. Well, I'm sure it was delicious."

"It was not."

Peeta holds my gaze for a long moment before he speaks again.

"What's your favorite cake?"

I shrug "I like Shortcake. Strawberry shortcake. I know it's simple, but-"

He holds up a hand. "I would love to make you a strawberry shortcake," he all but purrs.

"Why?" I ask, feeling the need to ruin the moment.

"Because it will make you smile." He brushes a few strands of hair out of my face and I feel my heart beat faster at the intimacy of the gesture. "Let me feed you."

I don't reply. The baker has left me speechless. So I walk ahead of him, making my way over to checkout.

I take notice of the cashier batting her eyes at him as she watches him swipe his card. Actually, now that I look, it seems there are many pairs of eyes on him. Women all over the store are checking him out. I smile at the fact that he seems oblivious.

I can feel him stare at me as he walks me out to my car.

"So, maybe when classes start... we could have lunch?"

He turns to me and smiles. "Ms. Everdeen. Are you asking me out on a date?"

I blush. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"Was this a date?" he raises an eyebrow at me.

"I suppose so," I answer slowly.

He slowly closes the distance between us and places his paper shopping bag down on the ground. I reflexively take a step backwards with his advance and find my back against my car. Peeta leans over me, resting a hand on the roof of my car beside me.

"But you don't date," he says in a low voice. His eyes bore into mine.

"I don't."

His gaze drops to my mouth and I notice his breathing shorten. "And you don't kiss."

I slowly lick my lips and take notice of how his eyes darken at the sight. "No." I whisper.

He leans down, bringing his mouth barely an inch away from mine. I can feel his breath on my skin and I close my eyes. I part my lips and wait for his lips to touch mine, but they don't.

"Are you sure about that?" he says, matching my whisper.

I open my eyes and find him still staring at me.

"No."

I tilt my chin up and gently press my lips to his. I feel him smile against me before he returns my kiss and then some. His right hand threads into my hair, as he presses his body against me, pinning me to the car. I bring my left hand to his lower back and pull him closer, loving the feel of his muscles under my touch. He opens his mouth as our lips move together. His tongue slips out and I instantly meet it with mine. He massages me, slowly, and I can't remember the last time I tasted anything as delicious as this man; hints of cinnamon and sugar mixed with something thats so uniquely him.

I'm lost in sensation and I sigh into him. He groans and rolls his hips against mine in return. I gasp at the feeling of his hardness against me and he pulls away. I'm left breathless, running my tongue across my bottom lip, trying to savor the delicious taste of him still on me. He leans forward, putting some space between our bodies while keeping his hand on the roof of my car. He drops his gaze to the floor as his breathing slows down.

"That felt really good."

A smile slowly spreads across my face. "Yes. It did."

He leans in and presses his lips firmly against mine, kissing me again. But in no time at all, he pulls away, and pushes himself off of the car.

"I should get going."

"All right."

"Can I call you?" he asks, not skipping a beat.

I smile at him as I open my car door. "Yes," I reply as I sit in the driver's seat. I close the door, turn on the car, and roll down my window.

Peeta leans down and pokes his head into the car and presses a final quick kiss to my lips. He raises his eyebrows to me as he produces the rose from before. I accept it with a smile.

"I'll talk to you later," he says as he stands back up to his full height.

"Good night," I reply with a nod.

I roll my window back up, and give him one last glance as he walks to his car, before I exit the parking lot.

Fuck. I miss him already.

X

I arrive home to the sight of Gale's empty car in the driveway. I park next to him, careful not to block him in, and I leave the rose Peeta gave me in the passenger seat as I exit the vehicle. I unlock my front door and step inside. I don't seek Gale out. I simply climb the stairs and head to the bedroom and I lock the door behind me.

I undress myself, still running my tongue across my lips. Damn, Peeta tasted good. I walk into my bathroom, turn on the shower, and watch my reflection disappear as the shower fills the room with steam. I take the splint off my wrist and I step under the water. I wash myself and I let the heat loosen my muscles. My thoughts drift to Peeta and I bring my fingertips up to touch my lips again. I'm hot - so very hot, and so I turn the heat of the water down and allow my mind to wander again. It's all of two seconds before I think about kissing Peeta. I want to feel his lips all over me. I caress myself, dragging my fingertips across my stomach and over my breasts, pretending my touch is his.

I give in to my desires and retrieve the shower head. I adjust it to the setting that brings me a quick release and I lower it between my legs. I find my sweet spot and the vibration of the water against my throbbing clit causes my stomach muscles to tense. I think about Peeta's smell, his smile, that last quick kiss he planted on my lips and and I'm quickly sent over the edge. I shut my eyes so hard, I see spots as my orgasm washes over me.

I exit the bathroom and dress for bed. I peek out of the window and find that Gale's car is still outside. Before I can get too annoyed, my phone rings with Facetime call from Peeta. I answer without hesitation, and wonder, as it connects, if I should've waited a few more rings.

"Hi!" he greets me.

"Hi." I echo.

"You look nice and clean."

I nod and run my fingers through my hair. "Just got out of the shower." I blush slightly and it's not lost on Peeta. Fuck you, video chat!

"You and DJ settle in okay?"

Peeta opens his mouth to answer, but then DJ snatches the phone from him. "Yes!" she replies.

"DJ, bring that back here."

"In a minute." There's a lot of movement. And then it's quieter. DJ sets the phone down and I see a light purple wall behind her. Her bedroom?

"Did you have a good time with my dad?" she asks.

"I did." I say with a smile.

"He really likes you," DJ beams.

"I really like him too. When are you working at Sae's now that schools started?"

"Sundays. We have Sunday Service so I won't have to get up first thing anymore, thank goodness. But I'm there all afternoon. You think you can come by? See me ride?"

"We'll see."

There's movement again as Peeta picks the phone back up. "Say, goodnight, DJ," Peeta teases. He sets the phone down and behind him I see a blue wall with several paintings hanging behind him. Living room? Bedroom?

"Sorry about that," he starts.

"She's fine."

"I called to say thank you for coming out with me. I enjoyed your company."

"Thank you. I enjoyed your company too." That's an understatement. I enjoyed his company so much, I had to go straight home and fuck myself.

"If you're free on Monday, my class lets out at 11:45."

"My lecture lets out at 11:45 too."

"Bio?"

"A&P"

"Ah."

"Who's taking care of the bakery, then?"

"We're closed Mondays."

I nod. "So... I'll see you then?"

"Definitely."

"West entrance of the main building?"

"I'll be there. Goodnight, Katniss."

"Goodnight Peeta."

I hang up and wipe the dumb ass smile I'm sporting off my face. I've still got to make it through the weekend. I hop off my bed and peek out the window. I'm relieved to find Gale's car is gone.

And somehow, though I'm the only person in this large house, I don't feel like the last pea at pea-time.

X

"He agreed to give me my space," I say coldly.

"I just needed to pick up some clothes. And you weren't home. Where were you anyway?"

"That's none of your business."

"The hell it's not!"

"Let's take a step back," Dr. Aurelius suggests. "Katniss, are you comfortable with Gale storing some of his belongings in the basement?"

"I don't mind that. It bothers me that he's in the house unannounced when I come home."

"Why?"

"I find it confusing."

"This is daft."

"Excuse me?"

"It's my home too."

"You don't live there anymore! You have a space all your own in Richmond, that I've never even seen."

"Is that what this is about? You want to know about the one-room flat I only inhabit to sleep, shit, and shower!? It's empty, Katniss!"

"Stop!"

"My home is where you are. I miss you."

Hearing him speak like this tugs at my heart strings like nothing else. "I want to believe you, Gale. I really do."

"But you don't," he says sounding defeated.

I shake my head. "I've heard it all so many times before. Every time you disappointed me or Rue, you told us you missed us."

"I did miss you."

I open and close my hands a few times.

"Catnip, do you still love me?"

"I'll always love you." I say as I lean backwards into the sofa. "But that's just not enough."

A minute passes as Dr. Aurelius scribbles something down on his pad.

"I heard you," Gale says quietly. "In the shower."

My eyes widen in mortification as I realize what he's saying. I look away from him, trying to sort out my feelings of violation and shame.

"I'll announce my arrival, in the future." Gale finally relents.

X

I lean against the brick facade of the main building, and flip through my lecture notes while I wait for Peeta. I stand upwind of the smokers while I jot down changes I intend to make to my slides. A voice pulls me from my trance.

"What are you doing out here, Everdeen?"

"Nothing, Jo. 'Bout to grab lunch is all."

Johanna Mason, my closest friend. She's an English professor here at PVCC and a general pain in my ass.

"When's your next class?"

"2:30"

"You wanna grab a bite?"

"Thank you, no. I've got...plans." I say as my eyes drift to Peeta. He's headed my way.

"Ooh. Check out blondie. 4 o clock." Johanna says.

"Goodbye, Jo."

"What do you? Oh. OH! Right, then. We'll talk later."

I roll my eyes and bury my face into my hands.

"Morning, Professor" I hear Peeta's voice behind me. I smile as I lift my head from my work and I close my folder. I turn around and take in his form. Tshirt and jeans seems to be his uniform, but I'm not complaining. He never looks sloppy, just relaxed. It's nice to see a man out of a three piece suit for a change. He smiles at me and I realize I haven't spoken yet.

"Good afternoon, Baker." I tease.

He laughs and I watch his stomach muscles contract. He looks at the time on his phone.

"12:01. All right, you got me. I'm late."

"It's okay." I smile.

I feel like I did so long ago, when I first started seeing Gale. Here I am, flirting, giddy, with butterflies in my stomach over a man.

"How was your lecture?" he asks.

"It was fine. A&P starts simply enough. Not like they'll have to learn muscles this semester."

"You sound...bored?"

I shrug. "It's not my favorite lab."

"What lab would you rather be teaching?"

"Microbiology."

"Why's that?"

"I just feel like I understand it best. Bacteria, viruses, yeasts. The lab doesn't turn my stomach the way bio lab does. I hate having to keep a straight face through dissections."

Is it my imagination, or is the baker actually listening to what I've got to say? Gale mentally checks out anytime I start talking about science. Or science fiction. Or anything.

"I understand. I find that interesting too."

"You do?"

"Absolutely. I work with yeast everyday. My bakery is a chemistry lab waiting to be explored."

"Really?"

"Yes ma'am."

"How's that?"

A smile spreads across his face. "I'll show you some time."

"All right. So, where did you want to eat?" I ask.

"That tree looks good," he says pointing to my favorite oak.

"Oh. I thought. I mean, I didnt bring-"

Peeta holds up a large paper bag. "I told you. I want to feed you."

I can't remember the last time someone fed me. I settle on my favorite grassy patch beneath the tree and watch as Peeta pulls two sandwiches and two bottles of water out of the bag. Next, he pulls a small container from the paper bag and opens it for me. Inside lies a perfect slice of a strawberry shortcake.

"You're really something," I say as he lays out the meal.

He hands me one of the sandwiches."What's this?" It smells amazing.

"Lamb stew sandwich."

"Sounds... Irish?"

Peeta nods, "It was my mothers recipe. But, my dad made it better he says as he pulls what looks like a prune out of his sandwich and pops it into his mouth.

"In England, they make lamb stew with dumplings."

The smile on Peeta's face falls and he purses his lips. "Katniss. There's something I'd like you to do."

"What's that?"

"I'd like you to try to stop comparing me to Gale."

I open my mouth the protest, but then I don't bother. He's right. That's what I've been doing, both in my head and aloud.

"I'm sorry," I say unable to meet his gaze.

"Don't be. This whole thing can be. Tricky."

"Do you date a lot?" I ask. As soon as the words are out, I want to stuff them back down.

"No, ma'am. I have to be selective about who I bring around my DJ." His eyes cut over to mine. "I didn't mean for that to sound so snobby."

"No, it's fine. I get it."

"We're a package deal. Just like you and Rue."

And Gale. Realistically, if this were to go anywhere, Gale would become a factor too. But, I choose to let that go for right now.

"You're a good dad."

"Thanks. You're a good mom." His eyebrows knit together. "Do you...want more?"

"Children?"

Peeta nods. I honestly hadn't thought about it. Gale didnt- no wait, Peeta's right. What Gale wants is irrelevant. He asked me what I want.

"I'm not sure."

He nods, and I can see a hint of disappointment on his face. It wasn't a no, but his reaction tells me anything but a firm yes may as well have been.

"I like you." He says quietly.

I smile at his admission. "I like you too."

"Would you consider giving this a chance?"

A kool-aid smile threatens to cross my face, but I suppress it. I aim for nonchalant. "I'll think about it," I say.

Peeta leans in an places a chaste kiss on my lips.

I allow it.

X

"Mommy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Do you think daddy can take me riding? Since your wrist hurts."

"I don't know, Rue." I scoop a serving of my homemade Mac and cheese onto her plate. "Why don't you ask him?"

She sinks down into her chair. "He'll just say no."

I turn to look at her. As much as I appreciate her increasing understanding of our situation, it breaks my heart to hear her so sad. I wish she could've looked up to her father as a hero complete with superpowers for just a little while longer.

"I wish things were different." she says as she pushes her food around her plate with her fork.

"Me too."

Damn it, Gale. He's not even here and she's upset over how he might disappoint her.

"You ready to go to Posy's tomorrow?"

"Mmhmm. Except she always wants to play fashion show. I don't wanna play that."

"Well, sometimes playing together means playing what the other person wants, for a little while."

"I know. I just wish she liked some more of the things I like."

My thoughts drift to DJ, and how she asked me if she could ride with Rue. I wonder if she would be a suitable playmate for her, despite their age difference. Maybe she would treat Rue like a ...sister? I shake my head at the thought.

"What's wrong, mommy?"

"Nothing, baby. We'll ride soon, okay? Promise."

X

The red closed sign in the window of Mellark's Bakery is impossible to miss, even from the street. And so on Friday night, when I find myself outside, ringing the doorbell, I can't help but wonder what I must look like to passersby.

At least I showered this time.

After dropping Rue off at Prim's, I stopped home, and decided to make myself presentable. Im wearing a brown boat neck top with long sleeves, jean shorts, and my favorite pair of cowboy boots. My hair is in a pony tail and hangs over my right shoulder. I give myself a final glance just before the baker opens the door.

"Katniss!" he beams and before I can think, he takes my wrist and kisses the back of my hand.

"Baker," I nod.

He holds my gaze for a moment before extending his arm welcoming me in.

"Come on in, Ms Everdeen. You're just in time."

"In time for what?" I say as I step inside.

"To bake, of course." Peeta closes and locks the door behind me.

"We're baking?"

"Yes ma'am. I told you, the bakery is a lab, and I think you'll enjoy today's... experiment."

With three large strides, he's in front of me. His hand cups my jaw as he leans in an places an open-mouthed kiss on my lips.

"You look beautiful, by the way."

I blush and look down. "Well, I showered this time."

"Did you?" He takes a step back and sizes me up. "Well, I consider that a real honor," he teases.

I shake my head at myself as he turns and motions for me to follow him. I walk behind him, as he leads me into the kitchen.

"What are we making?"

Peeta gestures to the ingredients he's already laid out across the large metal counter in the center of the room.

"Red velvet cake," he says as he ties an apron around his waist. He tosses one my way.

Red velvet cake may look and taste amazing, but to my knowledge, it's basically a chocolate cake with red dye. "How is that an experiment?"

"Well, Professor, here I have set up for two recipes of red velvet cake. And neither one includes red dye."

I'm interested. "What's in 'em?"

"This one here calls for beets, and this one calls for cocoa powder." He waves his hands between the two stations. "We're going to make both recipes and see which one makes a better red velvet. And by better, I mean more red."

All right, I'm hooked. The baker has found a way to combine both our interests, both our work, and make it a fun date night activity.

"And we get to eat them both, of course," he smiles.

And I'm a goner.

"So, where do we begin?"

"Hop behind the counter, woman. Start cracking eggs!"

I take a station and start mixing dry ingredients, copying Peeta's technique. I watch his strong calloused hands work and do my best to keep up. He cracks an egg, and tosses the shell into the garbage.

"Don't you compost?" I ask.

"No, ma'am. I recycle," he offers.

"That's not the same thing."

"I know. I only meant that I don't try to be wasteful."

"You could probably put a garden put back there, if you want." I gesture to the back yard outside of the window. "But if you're wanting to grow organic fruits, composting is essential."

"Perhaps you can be of service then?"

"Me?"

"Yes, ma'am. Will you teach me to compost, Professor. Maybe help me set up a garden?"

"Mr. Mellark, are you trying to get me to commit to something here?"

"Maybe," he grins.

I smile demurely and focus on completing the task at hand.

We mix the batches of cake batter and place them both into the oven. I help Peeta clean up while they bake. We rinse dishes before loading them into the dish washer. I sit down on one of the stools against the wall as Peeta starts on the icing. I can't help but stare as his forearms flex with each stroke of the whisk.

In no time at all, the cakes are cooled and iced. Peeta cuts a slice of each cake and places them side by side on a single plate. He grabs two forks and hands me one. I accept it eagerly.

"All right, this is the one made with the unprocessed chocolate. As we can see, it is not particularly red. And this one was made with beets. It is in fact red, but not as red as the cakes that use red dye."

I use my fork to swoop up a taste of the chocolate cake and bring it to my lips. "Mmmm," I sigh as the delicious chocolateness meets my tongue. "I like this one."

"Try the next one."

I use the same fork to swoop up a taste of the beet cake. My eyes rolls back in my head as the red spiced cake explodes with flavor. "Oh my god," I say with wide eyes. "This ones better!"

"You got some icing on your-" Peeta points to my face.

I lick my lips, searching for the stray food.

"Let me," Peeta says as he bring his thumb up to my lips. He wipes the corner of my mouth and I unconsciously close my eyes and let my tongue dart out and taste him.

I open my eyes and find him staring back at me, through dark lidded eyes.

"Did you get it?" I ask quietly.

"No."

He leans forward and kisses me, quickly pressing his lips against mine while his hand wraps around my neck and pulls me closer. I part my lips for him and sigh as his tongue slips into my mouth and swirls against mine. He feels soft and strong and he tastes so delicious that I give in. I let him explore me. I let his hands wander down my sides as he maintains his possessive hold on me. I let him grab my hips and lift me onto the counter.

I spread my knees apart and he steps in between my legs. I wrap my left foot around him holding him close as our kiss becomes impossibly deep. I pull my lips from his, taking in a large gulp of air and I feel his lips wander across my jaw line.

"You feel so good," he murmurs against my skin.

I drop my head back and expose my neck to him. I let out a moan as he eagerly nips and sucks at my flesh and I rock my hips back and forth in search of friction.

My hands slide under his shirt and I feel his warm skin. I pull on the fabric of his Tshirt, yanking it off of him and tossing it aside. I drag my fingertips down his abdomen, lightly scratching his gorgeous muscles. He tugs on the hem of my shirt and I lift my hands overhead, helping him rid me of the garment, which he tosses onto the counter. He kisses me again, slanting his open mouth against mine, and moaning quietly into me. And I need to feel more of him. I pull him closer with my hands and wrap my feet around him, until there is no space between us. His hands slide up and I feel him fiddle with the clasp of my bra. He smiles against my lips in triumph as he unhooks it and his hands splay across the smooth skin of my now exposed back.

"Hey, dad? Where did you put my- OHMYGOD!"

Peeta and I break away from each other and I jump off the counter and duck-as though covering my face would do anything at this point.

"DJ!" he exclaims.

"I'm so sorry, daddy. I'll just..." she trails off as she exits the kitchen.

"I'll be right back," Peeta says to me and he picks his shirt up off the ground. He calls after his daughter, "Sweetie, wait!" while he pulls the garment back over his head.

I wait until I can no longer hear him before I stand up and pull my shirt off the counter. I pull it back over my head and rest my palms on the counter.

"Stupid!" I berate myself. How could I be so stupid and so careless? If DJ hadn't walked in when she did, I would've let Peeta lay me down and have his way with me right here on this counter. I'm acting like a horny teenager, and I haven't shown an ounce of respect to his daughter. What if the shoe were on the other foot and Rue had walked in on me half naked with a man who isn't her father? It was embarrassing enough when it was her father.

Peeta returns a minute later, as I am still chastising myself.

"I should go," I say and I walk around the counter aiming for the door.

"No!" Peeta says standing in front of me, he puts his hands out, but he's careful not to touch me. I'm grateful for that. I'm still worked up, still wet for him.

"Please, stay. Let's just talk."

I look into his eyes and can see signs of confusion and lust written across his face.

"I don't think that's a very good idea."

"I'll keep my hands to myself," he promises.

I look into his eyes. "I won't."

He takes a step forward and presses his body against mine. I tilt my chin up and I let kiss him me again.

"Tell me to stop," he mumbles against my lips. He kisses me again.

"Don't stop," I whisper. And I nip at his lower lip. His flicks his tongue up, and I open my mouth for him again. He uses his tongue to caress mine with tender strokes. As his hands find my hips and pull me closer to him, I feel my desire for him seep out. And feelings of shame take over again.

"Stop!" I finally manage. He pulls away immediately and I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. Peeta walks around the counter, putting the large metal surface between us.

"I'm sorry." he says as he adjusts his pants. He's looking at me like I'm an entree. That hunger hasn't left his eyes.

"Me too." I mean it this time. "I'm sorry DJ had to see that."

He looks up at me confused. "She's just sorry she interrupted us."

Oh. I realize that it wouldn't be the same as if Rue had seen - She's still trying to wrap her mind around the idea of her parents separating. DJ is old enough to have a better handle on the situation. She seems to _want_ her father to date at this point.

"We should slow down." I say.

"Slow down," he repeats, mostly to himself.

"I should go." I look away from him and begin to put myself back together, smoothing out my clothes and fixing my hair.

"All right," he replies. His gaze is downcast, and he doesn't try to hide his disappointment. He walks out of the kitchen and waves his arm, ushering me out. I let him escort me out of the kitchen and to the front door. He stands with a hand on the knob and the other on the lock when he finally speaks.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go and mess this up."

And here I was worried that I had ruined things between us.

"You didn't." I brush a few strands of messy hair out of his face before I stand on my tip toes and kiss him on the cheek.

"Meet me for lunch on Monday?" I ask. He smiles. "And don't be late."


	4. How Can I Paint This Picture?

**Wow! Seriously, the response to this story is humbling. I'm so glad so many of you are enjoying it. I sincerely appreciate every comment, review, private message, kudos, and virtual high five. Each one motivates me to write more and keep this story going.**

**The pressure to deliver is getting to me now! Ahh!**

**So this chapter may seem kind of fluffy, but I think it's an important one in Katniss's transition from Gale to Peeta, and of course for their daughters to begin to form bonds too.**

**I hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

_"How can I paint this picture when the colorblind is hanging with you?"_

As September passes and the cool October air spreads through the rolling hills, I fall into a comfortable routine. On weekdays, I'm home to put Rue on the school bus and receive her at the end of her day. I go to work, I teach my classes, and enjoy a calm commute. At the end of the day, Rue and I will usually make dinner together, and then I'll help her with her homework. We watch half an hour of a disney movie before I tuck her into bed.

It's amazing how easily Peeta fits into the gaps of my schedule. In the past seven weeks, since our first date, we have shared a brown bag lunch together every Monday on campus, and had dinner every Friday after I drop Rue off at Prim's. He FaceTimes me every night, and we text throughout the day. I feel like I'm at the beginning of an amazing relationship, but at the same time, I feel like I'm doing something terribly wrong. It's because of my apprehension that we've been taking things slow, with heated kisses that leave me boneless and running for my next shower.

"So, she did well on her science quiz then?" I ask.

"She did. Those study notes you gave her helped out a ton. Thank you."

Two days ago, I FaceTimed with DJ to help her study for her exam. I emailed some study notes over afterward.

"DJs a bright girl."

Peeta smiles. "That she is. She's excited to tell you about her quiz though, so don't tell her I went and spoiled the surprise."

"My lips are sealed."

"Do you think maybe you'll stop by Sae's on Sunday?" Peeta asks.

I trace the image of his handsome face with my finger on the screen. And nearly hang up on him.

I hold up my wrist, no longer in the splint. "Yeah maybe. After brunch. I could take Rue riding." My wrist is feeling much better, and both Rue and I have been itchin' to get back to the stables.

"Good. DJ's been asking about you coming by."

I smile at that. She really is a sweet girl.

"Has she?"

"Yes. And Rue too."

I'll admit that to this point things have been skewed, with me interacting often with DJ, although neither she or Peeta haven't even seen Rue since her birthday party. But in my defense, DJ is older. And being a single dad, Peeta doesn't need to consult with another parent about who he exposes her to.

And I've not said a word to Gale.

"That's sweet."

"I'll see you for dinner tomorrow night then, okay?" he asks.

I smile and blow him a kiss. "Goodnight."

X

I'm full and more than a little tipsy on the drive back from dinner. Peeta took me out to a vineyard 20 miles south of Charlottesville and we enjoyed an amazing meal of fresh meats and local cheeses. The grapes in our wine were grown right here in Albemarle county, much like the baker and myself.

I stare out of the passenger side window of Peeta's car and watch the leaves fall all around us. Autumn is my favorite time to go for a drive. I just find it so relaxing. Turning my head, I watch Peeta as he rests his left arm with his elbow out of the window. The wind blows his hair back and out of his face as the dirt road changes to cement . He really is a gorgeous man.

"Windows up," he suggests as we leave the calm of the local road and merge onto the highway. He rolls up the windows and puts the mp3 player on. Soon the soothing sounds of Miles Davis provide the soundtrack for our drive.

"I really enjoyed that," I say.

I always enjoy his company. And our dates over the past few weeks have been a surprising assortment from romantic to fun. Even though they're short. I'm usually home by 8, since Peeta prefers to be home before DJ.

"I'm glad," Peeta replies. "I do aim to make you smile."

"Well, food and wine are certainly the way."

He shifts his weight, and clasps the wheel with his left hand. His right hand finds mine and he intertwines our fingers.

"I hope they're the way to your heart," he says, giving my hand a squeeze.

I blush and look back out of the window.

He pulls into my driveway and shuts off the engine, but he keeps the music on. At the same time, we lean into each other and meet over the center console in a kiss. His hand finds the back of my neck as he opens his mouth. I follow his lead, letting him set the pace and the depth of our kiss. As always, he controls our connection perfectly.

My phone buzzes in the cup holder between us and I pull away. The message is from Gale.

_Hello, love. Stopping by for more clothes this evening. See you soon._

"Damn it."

"Is something the matter?"

"No. We should probably say goodnight. DJ will be home soon."

"All right," I watch him wrap his mouth around the words. I lick my lips slowly as I stare. I both love and hate the effect he has on me. "See you Sunday Afternoon,then?"

"Yes sir," I nod.

He turns away from me and climbs out of the car. As he walks around to the passenger side, I collect my belongings: My sweater, my purse, and the red rose he bought me. He opens the door and helps me out of the car. Then he holds my hand as he walks me to my door.

"I'd invite you in, but..."

He looks down at me and purses his lips.

"Not tonight. But, I am going to need some time alone with you soon," he says as he leans in and his traces my bottom lip with his tongue.

"Soon," I agree and I gasp as he kisses me again. He reduces me to putty in a matter of seconds and when he pulls away I swear under my breath.

"I'll call you later," he says as he walks back to his car. I wave to his back as I stand on wobbly legs and watch him walk away.

This is usually about the time I have to take care of things in the shower. But, I've barely washed my hands and put the rose in water when Peeta FaceTimes me. I'm still downstairs, even. So, I settle down on the couch and prop my phone on the coffee table in front of me.

"You got home quick," I say.

"I couldn't wait to talk to you."

I smile at him and shake my head. I know the feeling. "DJ home?"

"Not yet. I'm all by myself here. And I miss you already."

"I miss you too." I run my tongue across my bottom lip. "I can still taste you."

"The things I would do if I were with you right now," he shakes his head.

"Tell me."

Peeta clasps his hands behind his head and looks away from the screen. "To start, I would push your hair aside and kiss your neck."

"Here?" I ask pulling my hair over my shoulder and exposing my neck to him. I drag my fingertips from my chin down to my breastbone.

Peeta looks back at the screen with wide eyes.

"Yes, exactly like that."

"Then what?"

"Then, I'd caress you. All over. Softly. And slowly."

"Mmm. Like this?" I lean back on the couch and run my hands up along my arms to the shoulder and back down. I drag my fingertips across my stomach. My hands wander up across my chest and I squeeze my right breast for him quickly and gently.

"Damn, you're beautiful."

"Your hands feel amazing." I begin to move my body for him, curving and arching my back. "I think about you, Peeta. Every time I touch myself."

"You do?"

"Mmhmmm."

"Me too."

"Tell me about it."

"I think about how you smell. And how you taste. You taste so fucking good. And I stroke myself. I think about what it would be like to have your hands on me. Grabbing me, rubbing me."

"I want to."

I hear the sound of my front door unlocking and I freeze.

"Fuck!"

"What?"

"I'll call you back," I say and I quickly disconnect the call only a second before Gale steps inside.

"Catnip!" he exclaims.

"What the hell!?" I stand up and fold my arms over my chest.

"What?"

"Were you born in a barn?"

"What the hell does that mean?" he says walking towards me. He's quickly in front of me and I can smell the booze on him. He leans forward to kiss me and I turn my head. He catches the corner of my mouth, and I push him away. I wipe his saliva off with the back of my hand.

"Ugh."

"Come on, baby."

He leans in again. I take two steps back and hold my arm out. He walks into it pressing his chest to my palm.

"Where are your manners?" He's still confused. "Knocking. On the front door. How come you didn't do it?"

"Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack."

"Those aren't so serious anymore, are they love?"

I roll my eyes and fold my arms back into my chest. "What do you want, Gale?"

"I want to make love to my wife," he says and he takes another step forward.

"You're drunk."

"So?"

"So, you need to stop."

He huffs out a breath and he flops down onto the couch. I swipe up my phone before he has a chance to get nosy.

"I'm going to bed."

"It's 8 o clock."

"You can sleep it off on the couch if you like," I say as I walk into the kitchen. I pull a bottle of water out of the fridge and walk towards the stairs.

"Catnip?"

"Yes, Gale."

"I love you."

Those words cut like a knife. I don't answer him as I climb the stairs and walk into my bedroom. I lock the door behind me. I consider making a barricade with my dresser, but decide Gale's probably too drunk to be any more persistent.

I sit down on the edge of my bed and run my hands through my hair. My phone buzzes in my back pocket with a new text message from Peeta.

_DJs home. We'll finish that another time._

Damn it.

X

"Absolutely not," Gale says as he stomps his right foot. Rue has that same annoying habit. She didn't lick it up off the ground.

"Sit back down, please."

"This is bollocks!"

"Gale! Please."

"Why don't you take a seat, Gale?" Dr. Aurelius echoes my suggestion, much more calmly than I was able. "Lets continue this discussion."

Gale reluctantly sits back down on the couch, as far away from me as possible.

"Are you shagging anyone?"

"No." Not yet.

"Where'd you get that rose?"

"Why do you care?"

"Don't lie to me, Katniss."

"It's not about sex, Gale."

"Then why did you fuck Thom?"

"See! You are still mad!"

Gale lowers his voice. "No, I'm not."

"You should be."

A moment passes and we're all silent. Despite my best efforts, Gale refuses to give up his house key.

X

I leave Dr. Aurelius's office feeling drained. I need some advice. I find myself picking up a few groceries - alright, maybe just some ice cream - at Harris Teeter, when the most odious woman alive spots me in the frozen section.

"Oh, Katniss! So nice to see you darlin'," Glimmer Abbot calls to me.

"Good day, Glimmer. Nice to see you," I say with a tight-lipped smile. I've no desire to continue this conversation. I met Glimmer at lamaze class back when we were both pregnant. Everything has been a competition ever since. Now, Rue and Glimmer's daughter, Clove, are the best of frenemies.

"How is little Rue doing? We ain't seen her since her party."

"She's fine. And how is little Clove doing?"

"She's just peachy. Katniss, dear. I wonder if I could trouble you for the contact information of the baker who made Rue's cake?"

My baker.

"Why?" I ask, a little too defensively.

"Clove's birthday is next month and we'll be needing a cake." I stare at her. "Oh, honey, share a little!"

I roll my eyes at myself, realizing I was feeling a little territorial over Peeta. But, Glimmer just wants to order a cake. I roll my eyes at myself. Glimmer's married. Her husband, Marvel, is quite the catch too. He teaches history over at PVCC.

"Of course. The bakery is called Mellark's. It's over on Monticello."

Glimmer takes a step closer and speaks quietly and quickly. "Actually, I was hoping you'd have the owner's phone number." She raises her eyebrow at me.

Oh. I was right.

"Sorry, no," I lie. If I weren't seeing him, I wouldn't have his number. And I'm certainly not giving it to this woman.

"Shame."

"How's that?"

"Nothing, darlin'. Nothing. Well I'll let you get back to your...shopping," she says peeking into my cart and seeing only a gallon of vanilla ice cream.

"Thank you. See you around."

"Goodbye," she says as she walks away. I'm tense until the sound of her high heels fades.

I climb into my car and try to rid my mind of thoughts of Glimmer. And Gale. And before long I find myself at Prim's. It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon and we all relax on the veranda. Rue's tolerating a game of fashion show with Posy, while I grease Prim up with our favorite treat: vanilla ice cream and red wine.

Don't knock it til you try it.

Having just come from a particularly difficult session with Gale, I really do need to speak to someone. But for right now, Prim and I are talking about nothing. And, I'm only on my first glass, gulping down the liquid courage as I try to summon the strength to start the real conversation.

"But when you say 'roll down the window' and you do this," she rapidly makes small circles with her fist, "It makes no sense," she teases me.

"Of course it does," I argue.

"Power windows are standard on every vehicle now."

"That may be, but the phrase 'roll down the window' is still part of our vernacular. People still say 'hang up the phone' too, but when's the last time actually you did that?" I finish my wine with a smile.

Prim nods as my phone buzzes on the coffee table.

"Speaking of which," I say as I reach for it.

Peeta's calling me. Odd. He doesn't usually call me when I'm here.

I excuse myself as I step away and answer the call. "Hey, everything okay? I'm at Prim's," I say in a hushed voice.

"He. Bought. Pads!" DJ sobs into the phone.

"Delilah Josephine Mellark, you open the door this instant!" Peeta's voice booms in the background.

"I'll be there soon," I say and I hang up the phone. I drop my head back and look to the sky. I consider how to best approach this delicate situation. I cannot say with certainty that Gale would approve of a man I'm seeing spending time with Rue. But, I reason, there's no harm in stopping by the bakery for a cookie. I'm splitting hairs like there's no tomorrow, I'll admit, but I feel a strange sense of growing obligation to DJ.

Rue's sick of fashion show so she doesn't take much convincing to leave. Prim doesn't question me when I tell her I need to make a stop at CVS. In just a few minutes, I've collected our things and loaded Rue into the car.

My talk with Prim will have to wait.

"Rue, would you like a cookie from Mellark's bakery?" I ask her.

"Really, mommy?"

"Yes. I bet Mr. Mellark will even show you how to decorate them if you ask him really nicely." He'd better. I'm about to bail him out, the least he can do is give my kid a cookie.

I stop at the drugstore and buy a large box of tampax light tampons, a bottle of midol, some summers eve cleansing wipes, a bottle of vitamin water, and a king sized kit kat. Within half an hour, we find ourselves outside of the Mellark bakery house. The red closed sign is showing through the window.

"Uh-oh, mommy. It's closed."

Great. More to explain to her. "Mr Mellark really likes us. I bet if we ring the bell, he'll open for us. It doesn't hurt to ask for what you want, honey. The worst he can say is no." I ring the bell to the bakery and the apartment at the same time.

Footsteps grow louder on the apartment side of the house and soon Peeta flings open the door and gives me a surprised look. "Katniss? I'm... Kinda busy right now..." He looks like hell. You know, hell for him.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Mellark. Ms. Rue has something she'd like to ask you." I try to tell him the whole story with my eyes. But, he doesn't seem to know DJ called me. He drops his eyes to Rue.

"Mr. Mellark, may I please have a cookie?"

He looks back up to me and I hold up the plastic bag filled with girl supplies. I see him exhale in relief. He kneels down to Rue.

"My recipe is top secret," he starts. Oh good, he gets it. "I can't have just anyone see how the cookies are made. Are you trustworthy?"

Rue nods her head quickly. "I am. I really am. Tell him, mommy!"

"She is a super spy."

Peeta smiles. "Well, come on in then." He closes the door to the apartment behind him, and moves to the bakery door. He lets us inside and asks us to take a seat in the cafe area. He disappears for only a minute and comes back with a tray of undecorated sugar cookies and a few different colored icings. When Rue is sufficiently involved in the activity, I tell her I'm going to the bathroom. She offers me an "okay mommy," but she doesn't even give me eye contact. I catch Peeta's eye and nod toward the door, then I slip out of the bakery and into the apartment.

It's my first time here. I walk up the narrow staircase with cream colored walls adorned with family photos and into the living room. There's a large couch and television set, several full bookcases, and a globe. I'm on a mission, though so I don't have much time to look around.

I call out, "DJ!"

A door opens and her voice replies, "Katniss! You came?"

I follow her voice down a hallway and to the bathroom.

"Of course I came. Whats wrong, honey?"

"I got my period," she pouts.

"Congratulations," I offer.

"Why? I have cramps. I'm bloated and cranky. My skins breaking out. And no one understands me!"

Ugh, girls. So dramatic.

"Did your dad get you the wrong kind of thing?"

She nods. "He said tampons aren't appropriate for a girl my age. But pads are so disgusting. I don't want to sit in it!"

I have to agree. I'm sure Peeta has his (stupid) reasons for banning tampons, but since he can't menstruate, I'm vetoing his call on this one.

"Well, I've got a whole bag of stuff to help," I say and she smiles.

We sit on the floor outside the bathroom. I have her take two midol and chug the vitamin water to start. That should get the PMS under control. Then I unwrap one tampon and use it as a guide while we read the directions together. I send her into the bathroom with the wipes and a handful of tampons (it might take her a few tries the first time). I use the time she's in there to raid the linen closet and find a washcloth. I wish I'd picked up a heating pad too, but it didn't occur to me that there would be nothing here to help with that. It seems a woman has never seen the inside of this linen closet - there's duct tape in here. So I have to tap into my inner McGuyver. I find the kitchen easy enough and soak the washcloth before tossing it into the microwave for a few seconds. I rifle through the drawers a bit until I find ziploc bags and put the now hot washcloth into one. In my haste, I leave cupboard doors open and the ziploc container on the counter. I get back to the bathroom just as DJ is stepping out.

"Feeling better?"

"I think so," she answers.

"Bed? Or couch?"

"Bed. I don't want to see my dad."

"All right," I say as I follow her to her room. "But don't be too hard on him. Men are stupid."

I tuck her into her bed and put the heated cloth in ziploc on her abdomen. She sighs in relief at the contact. I pull out the kit kat and set it next to her bed.

"I know your dad could whip up a 7 layer chocolate cake, but when I have my period all I want is processed junk chocolate." She smiles. "Get some rest, okay? I'll see you soon," I say as I smooth the hair out of her face.

"Tomorrow?" She asks with hope in her voice.

"Tomorrow," I promise her.

"Thank you, Katniss. My dad's really lucky to have you."

Have me? I didn't realize there was a 'having' of the Katniss. I purse my lips, smile tightly, and nod before I leave. I slip back into the bakery and see Peeta and Rue sitting side by side at the table with their backs to me. I lean against the frame of the doorway as I observe them.

"...and then Chip turns back into a little boy, and the clock and candlestick turn back into people, and then," Rue turns to face him. "Theres a dance."

Peeta smiles at Rue as she goes on about a movie I'm sure he's seen 100 times before. But he's patient and attentive, and I cant help but smile. "Belle wears a long pretty yellow dress and the prince wears a blue jacket...do you have a blue jacket?"

Peeta chuckles lightly at her and shakes off her question. "How's that cookie coming along?"

Rue holds her cookie up and examines it. "I think it's better?"

"Much better, Ms. Rue. I bet I can sell that one," Peet replies and he reaches for the cookie.

"No!" Rue pulls it back to her chest. "I want to give this one to my daddy."

"All right then," Peeta replies. "I'll help you pack it up for him."

"Thank you."

She sets Gale's cookie aside and pulls another plain cookie from the tray and begins to decorate it. "You know...my mommy has a pretty yellow dress."

"Does she?"

"Yeah. And she really likes to dance."

"Is that a fact?"

"Uh-huh. You should maybe take her dancing?"

I smile and shake my head at this kid. Is she really trying to fix me up? Ah, at least she's got good taste. Peeta notices I've arrived and that I am watching them. He smiles at me before turning back to Rue.

"Do you think your mommy would like that?"

"Uh-huh. I think she likes you."

"How do you know that?"

"I don't know. I think maybe she likes your voice."

"My voice?"

"Mmhmm. She smiles real big when you talk to her."

"I hadn't noticed." His eyes dart over to me and he smirks.

"Yep. But there's only one way to know for sure."

"How's that?"

Rue rolls her eyes. "You got to kiss her, a' course."

I raise my eyebrows as Peeta's turns to meet my gaze again.

"You think she'd like that?"

I nod enthusiastically, though neither of them can see me.

"Uh-huh. My daddy used to kiss her all the time."

"Oh."

Rue brings her hand up and accidentally wipes icing on her face. Peeta takes a paper towel off the table, and dips it in a glass of water. He brings the wet cloth to Rue's forehead and wipes the icing off for her. Rue turns to him and studies his face as he works. When he meets her eyes, he smiles. Rue uses her tiny hands to push Peeta's hair back, out of his face. She gets pink icing in his already unruly locks. Peeta doesn't mind.

"You can kiss my mommy. If you want to."

"But, what about your daddy?"

Rue sighs. "I don't think she wants to kiss him anymore." She shakes her head.

Okay, that's enough of that.

"Rue, baby. I think you've taken up enough of Mr. Mellark's time. Let's get going."

"Okay, mommy!"

Peeta packs up the cookies Rue decorated.

"DJs feeling better," I say quietly.

"Thank you," he whispers. But the way he's looking at me, I know there's so much more he wants to say.

"Thank you so much for coming today, Ms. Rue." He turns to meet my eyes as he says, "I hope to see you again soon."

I'm two blocks away when my phone buzzes with a new text message from Peeta.

_What the hell happened in the kitchen?_

X

"These are beautiful cookies, Rue," Gale lies. "Thank you for saving them for me."

He collects her in his arms with ease and I watch her return his embrace. Gale smiles his widest as he holds her, showing off the dimples that most people don't even know he has. Rue pulls away, before Gale is ready to let her go and she turns her gaze back down to the cookies.

"Mr. Mellark taught me how to make them pretty. But his come out better. I'm going to see if they have any of his cakes here. Okay, mommy?"

"Sure, baby."

Rue bounds over to the dessert case.

"So. You spend a lot of time with this 'Mr. Mellark?'" Gale inquires.

I shrug. "I see him around. He made the cake for Rue's birthday, and then I took her back to the bakery yesterday for some cookies... He and his daughter ride at Sae's."

Gale couldn't possibly be pissed about anything.

I'm not ready to let him know I'm seeing someone yet. Rue doesn't even know yet. And it's still early, after all. Does Gale need to know any more at this time?

I don't think so.

"That all sounds... Convenient."

I narrow my eyes at him wondering what he's getting at. "Well, he's a local. And our paths do cross from time to time."

"And why does he visit you at your job?"

Fuck.

"He's not visiting me. He's taking a couple classes. Christ, how'd you even know about that?"

"Taking classes. Aren't we a little old to be in college?"

"Not everyone has your circumstances, Gale," I say exasperated.

"Are you having another affair?"

"Excuse me?"

He pulls one of the shutterfly photo albums Prim made of Rue's party out of his bag. He flips it open and slams it onto the table. I startle at the noise. I look at where he's pointing, to a picture of Rue cutting her cake at her party. Peeta and DJ are in the background - and Peeta is looking at me with awe. I push the book away.

"Are you shagging him then?"

"No, Gale I ain't 'shagging' him. The last man I 'shagged' is Thom. Should we go over that again? Do you want the details? You want to hear all about the last time another man fucked me real good?" I've said that last part louder than I intended, and people are starting to stare.

"No, God. Why do you have to be so crass?"

I'm quieter as I speak now. "It's none of your business anyway. I don't know what or who you're doing! We've been separated for over a year."

"Exactly, Katniss. When are we going to stop all this?"

"Ugh, not this again."

"Not 'again.' 'Still.'"

I'm stunned by his sudden commanding tone.

"We're 'still' having this conversation. Because I 'still' love you. I'm 'still' sorry. And I 'still' want to be with you."

My breath hitches as I see the fire in his eyes. He's looking at me the way he used to, back when I knew he'd move heaven and hell to be with me. And I'm confused again. All I've ever wanted was to be loved and cherished by my husband. I open my mouth to respond, to tell him as much.

But then his phone rings. He immediately drops my gaze and puts up a finger as he looks at the screen.

Damn it. He almost had me going.

I'm mad as a hornet. Damn Gale for playing this stupid game and fucking with my emotions again and again.

"Well, I 'still' want a divorce. Because you 'still' don't put your family first. You 'still' work 80 hour weeks. And you 'still' see nothing wrong with this!"

My words fall flat on the floor, he's already put the phone to his ear.

"See you next weekend," I say as I push away from the table. I walk towards the door. Rue runs up alongside me and we exit the cafe.

It's not far from the cafe to the stables, but it seems like worlds away. I drive, ignoring the beauty of the falling leaves around me, as Gale's words settle in my mind. "Another affair." Is that what I'm doing? Having "another affair?" I shake my head at the thought. What I have with Peeta is real. It's not an affair.

But then again in the truest sense of the word, it is. I am still married to Gale. And as long as I am, nothing else can ever be anything more than an affair. I decide in this moment that I need to be free of these ties. For myself. And if Gale won't file for divorce, then I'll have to. I pull over at a gas station and quickly type out an email to my lawyer saying I'm ready to move forward.

Rue is practically vibrating with excitement in her booster seat as we approach Sae's. And I'm shaking with frustration.

I park and rest my forehead on the steering wheel. And I sigh.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Get up."

I smile. She's quick to give me a swift kick in the ass when I need it.

"All right, I'm up."

I lift my head as my phone buzzes with a new email. My lawyer has asked me to stop by first thing tomorrow morning, and provided me with a list of documents to bring. I nod to myself and try to push the unhappy thoughts of my infidelity out of my mind.

I climb out of the car and unbuckle Rue from her booster seat. She hops out of the car and slams the door behind her.

"You ready?" I say as I pass her her half chaps. Hmm, she'll need a new pair soon. Looks like she's outgrowing these.

"Mmhmm," she says, sitting on her bottom and sliding her heel into the elastic. She quickly fastens them to her legs with ease.

She walks next to me as we approach the stable. Sae is outside of the main stable, with a bucket of hot water, soap, and vinegar as she cleans a pile of curries.

"Afternoon, Sae!" I say.

"There you are, girl! And hello to you Ms. Rue."

"Hi, Ms. Sae!"

"You here to ride?"

"Yes, ma'am. Mommy says I can even jump today."

"I said maybe. I want you to do a few laps first. It's been a few weeks."

Rue huffs. "I know how to ride, mommy."

"Who can she ride today?" I ask Sae.

"Why don't you take Editor? The Mellark girl is brushing him now."

"How's DJ riding ?" I ask

"DJ? DJs here!? Mommy, can I go see DJ!?"

Sae takes notice of Rue's reaction. "How do you know Ms. DJ?"

"She came to my birthday party. She's pretty and smart and good at laser tag. And her daddy's the best baker ever. And he's handsome too. Right, mommy?"

Sae's eyes cut over to me and she raises an eyebrow.

"We went to the Mellark bakery yesterday," I half explain. "I'll get Rue situated with Editor. Then I'm gonna take Sally out for a while." Sae nods.

"Well, come on then," Benedict Arnold. I tug on Rue's hair.

I approach Editor's stall and watch DJ for a moment. She's only been working here a few weeks, but I can see she's confident. Her right hand moves along the muscles of Editor's back leg and she squeezes as she moves down. Editor picks up his foot and she proceeds to clean his shoe, barely batting an eye. That horse is a stubborn one too, so I'm just a little impressed.

"Afternoon, DJ."

She spins and flashes me her daddy's smile. "Hi Katniss. Rue!" her smile widens.

"Hi DJ!" Rue says equally excited.

Hmm.

"How are you doing in here?" I say as I open the door to the stall.

She grabs Editor by the bit and leads him out of the stall, not even flinching when he quickens as he passes through the opening. He doesn't like being in tween spaces.

"Good," she says. "Once I'm done in here, I'm going to ride. My dad is out lunging Becky again. He's in 1," she assures me. "He should be back soon. Oh. I forgot to put the curry back," she looks down in her hand.

I bring my hand up to Editor's bit. I attach a lead and hand it to Rue. DJ walks back into the stall and over to the small cupboard on the far wall.

"So Sae says that soon I'll be ready to-"

DJ falls silent. I look over at her and see her staring motionless into the cupboard, with her hand still on the door. I move quickly around the horse and step into the stall. I pull DJ's hand off the door and slam the cupboard shut. I grab ahold of her wrists and force her to look at me.

"Did she bite you?"

DJ stares into my eyes. She's shaking and she doesn't answer me.

I slide my hands up her arms, searching for a mark or any sign of a bite. I find nothing. I bring my hand up and grab ahold of her chin.

"DJ! Did she bite you?" I repeat.

She shakes her head and I sigh audibly.

"All right. You see that spray bottle in the corner?"

She nods.

"Go get it."

She nods again.

"Right now."

"Yessum," she replies quietly as she obeys. She's still shaking as she hands me the bottle. Its full of something, I don't know what, but its liquid. So, it will do.

"Now back up and watch."

I fling the cupboard back open and immediately my eyes fall on the tiny black creature with the telltale red spot on its back. I soak her and the entire cupboard in a matter of seconds. I can smell the cleaning solution as I spray, and when I'm certain I've eliminated the threat, I swing the door back shut. I turn back to DJ.

"Got it?"

She nods.

"Fast. Like that."

"I understand." she nods.

"They love horse farms. And dark dry places like that. Cupboards, and covered plugs and such. "

"Yes ma'am."

"It's all right," I say as I open my arms. She flings herself against me and hugs me tightly. I stroke her hair, and shush her.

"Mommy, come on!" Rue calls from outside the stall.

"Coming, baby," I call back to her. "You ready to go?" I ask DJ. She's still fighting tears. "Come on. I want to see you ride."

We step outside the stall just as Peeta enters the stable leading Becky to her stall.

"Mr. Mellark!" Rue exclaims.

"Ladies," Peeta nods. Then his eyes find DJ. Her arms are still wrapped around me. "What's wrong?"

DJ looks up at me before she lets go and she hurries over to Peeta. She wraps her arms around his middle and buries her head into his shirt.

"I was so scared, daddy."

"What happened?"

"It was a black widow," DJ explains. "Katniss got her though."

Peeta looks over at me as he kisses the top of DJ's head.

"You gotta spray 'em fast," Rue says. "Right, mommy?"

"Right."

"Don't be scared, DJ. My mommy wont let them get you," Rue assures her. DJ smiles sweetly at Rue.

"Well then it's a good thing we have her," Peeta says.

There it is again. The whole 'having' Katniss thing. I feel both delighted and terrified by the concept. My eyes drop to Rue and I wonder just how much she understands of his words. I clear my throat and avoid his eyes as I walk Rue and Editor past them.

"We'll see you out there," I say over my shoulder.

"I got her, girl," Sae says once we're outside.

"Thank you."

I stand and watch as Sae brings the steps over and helps Rue onto the horse.

"Bye, mommy!" Rue calls, dismissing me.

I walk over to the far stable, enjoying the sound and feel of the rocks lining the path beneath my boots. I grab an apple from the bucket outside the stable as I enter and make my way over to Sally's stall. Her living area is larger than the stalls in the main stable. She has more than enough room to turn around in. I offer her the apple as I step inside. I smile when I notice the stall is freshly mucked. I run my hand along her back and see she's already been brushed. I lift her foot and find her shoes are clean.

She's been well taken care of.

I grab my blanket and saddle off the wall, place them on her back, and I tighten the girth over her belly.

"She missed you," I hear Peeta say. I turn to see him entering the stall and closing the door behind him. He walks over to Sally and rubs his hand down the length of her nose. She nudges into his hand and I smile.

"I missed her too."

"The girls are riding over in 8," he says.

I like how that sounds. The girls. Our girls.

Peeta puts his hand over mine as I finish fastening the buckle of Sally's girth.

"Thank you," he says. "For yesterday. And today."

"You're welcome," I shrug.

"I mean it, Katniss." His hand moves to cup my jaw. "No ones ever been there for us before. Not like this."

He leans in and captures my lips in a kiss. I take my hands off of the saddle and wrap my arms around him. He slides his tongue along the seam of my lips and I open for him. I feel warmth spread through me as I taste him. His normal sugary flavor is mixed with the salt of his sweat from working in the stables and the scruff just above his upper lip scratches against me. His effect on every one of my senses consumes me. He kisses me slowly, deeply, and holds me as close as he can.

Sally nudges Peeta's shoulder, causing us both take a step sideways. We break apart and I can't tear my eyes away from his mouth, puffy and red with kisses. He licks his lips and I lean forward and press our lips together again. I open my mouth and extend my tongue into his, anxious for another taste of him. And when I get it, I lose myself in him. My hands roam over his body, across his strong chest, over his shoulders and down his arms. His hands slide from my back and his right hand grabs the flesh of my ass.

"I want you," he whispers as he kisses me.

And Lord knows I want him too.

I don't realize that my feet are moving until I feel the wall of the stall pressed against my back. His kisses trail away from my lips and down my neck.

"Peeta," I sigh as I feel the tip of his tongue trace circles against me. His hands palm my breasts over my shirt and he moans quietly as he squeezes my mounds.

"Yes," I whisper.

He presses his hips against mine and I feel him grow hard through the denim of his jeans. I reach down, and feel him with my hand. He's long and thick, and I want him inside of me.

My eyes fly open as I feel the fingers of his right hand brush against the waist of my jeans. He kisses back up along the other side of my neck as his hand cups me and he rubs me over my clothes. I buck my hips forward to meet his hand.

"Ahh," I moan and he silences me with a kiss.

My resolve grows weaker with every second. I feel him unbutton my jeans and pull the zipper down agonizingly slow. His hand slides into my pants and he rubs me over my underwear. I feel his fingers, thick and calloused through the thin cotton fabric and I grab ahold of his forearm. The movements of his fingers spread through the muscles of his arm. I drop my head back and shut my eyes tight.

"Oh, God!"

He rubs me harder and my knees weaken.

"Let me make you feel good," he whispers against my skin.

And my blood runs cold. Because the last time I heard those words, I was definitely having an affair.

"We have to stop."

Peeta's fingers stop moving. I open my eyes and meet his wide blue orbs. He stares into me, breathing heavy for a long minute. His eyes are full of lust and another emotion I cant quite identify.

"Why?"

"Because." I enunciate every syllable, "I want this to be more than an affair."

A moment later, he withdraws his hand and I whimper at the loss. I frown and I zip myself back up as he turns away from me and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Damn it, Katniss," he starts. "That's not what this is."

I make my way over to him and I wrap my arms around him from behind. His arms unfold as I clasp my hands over his stomach and he covers my hands with his. I rest my cheek in between his shoulder blades and I hug him.

"I know," I whisper. I hold him tighter.

"Do you need more time?"

I nod my head against him. "In a way."

"In what way?"

I sigh and I rub my nose against him. "I'm meeting with my lawyer tomorrow morning. I'm moving forward with the divorce."

Peeta nods as his thumb rubs the skin on the back of my hand.

"You asked me to give this a chance. Well, I'm ready to. If thats what you still want."

He turns around in my arms and embraces me fully.

"Of course that's what I want. I care about you, Katniss. Somethin fierce."

I smile into his chest. "I care about you too."

"We'll be patient then."

"Thank you."

We stand there holding each other for a long minute.

"You know," Peeta says breaking the silence. "Ms. Rue did give me permission to kiss you."

"She did."

I feel his finger on my chin and he tugs upward, tilting my head. Peeta presses his lips firmly against mine. The kiss is comforting, and protective. But, all too soon he breaks away.

He grabs a lead from the wall and attaches it to Sally's bit. I watch him lead her out of the stall. It's not until he's out of my sight that he speaks.

"Let's go watch the girls ride."


	5. Another Mistake Living Deep in My Heart

**I'm a geek, but my husband is not. He suggested I change my pen name to munchausen by proxy since I would write fanfiction for such a small audience. But I shut him down when I showed him that over 100 of you are subscribed! Yes! Now if only I could get him off my back about being a Trekkie.**

**Anyway, the plot moves forward in this chapter, which always makes posting nerve wracking. Cus getting hate mail sucks. So please don't send me any.**

**Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

_"Fell on my face and woke up with a scar. Another mistake living deep in my heart."_

I sit in my car outside of the law offices of Paylor & Coin as I open and close my hands. A particularly beautiful red leaf falls on to my car, slides down the window, and gets caught in my windshield wiper. The season is changing rapidly.

It's been over a year since Gale moved out. And I'm ready to move on.

The decision to leave one's husband is not to be taken lightly. Gale is my first love and the father of my child. What we have is special and important, and I don't wish to take away from that. He loves our Rue and for that, I will love him for the rest of my life. But he's simply not up to the task of being the husband and father we need. And I need to be able to put some kind of end to this.

I rifle through the glove compartment. I'm not looking for anything in particular...I'm just stalling. But fortune smiles on me and I find a bottle of peppermint schnapps I stuffed in there last December. As I take a swig, I make a mental note to clean out this damn car.

The liquor helps. After a minute, I feel brave enough to venture out of the vehicle. I walk across the parking lot and into the single story office building. The receptionist greets me and announces my presence. As I sit in the waiting room, I wipe my sweaty hands on my thighs and try to conjure up images of my life after divorce. I think of all the things I'll be able to do. But for some reason, everything I come up with looks like a tampon commercial, so I give up the fantasy game. I allow my mind to drift to a realistic reward, alone time with Peeta.

"Good day," Ms. Everdeen. "I'm Ms. Paylor."

Damn, my daydream was just getting good. I push away thoughts of Peeta, and put on my game face. I tell myself not to think about him again until after the meeting.

"Pleasure," I say as I stand and shake her extended hand.

I hand her a folder containing all of the items she requested. Our marriage license, a receipt for the U-Haul truck Gale rented the day he moved out, photos of our home taken last week - showing in particular the masters bedroom with only my belongings, and Rue's bedroom - clean, decorated, and filled with toys. I've also included Rue's school information and her report cards, photos from Rue's last 4 birthday parties Gale missed, receipts from bills I paid for the last year, receipts from Dr. Aurelius's office, and my tax return for last year showing that I am able to maintain our lifestyle without Gale's contribution, though realistically we'll have to cut back. I don't plan to request alimony.

She flips through the folder with no trace of emotion on her face. I sit in a leather chair in her office, not quite sure how to handle the situation. I keep my eyes trained on the floor and I count the circles in the pattern on the rug.

"Ms. Everdeen, are you familiar with the types of divorces granted in the State of Virginia?"

I look up. "Types?" Who knew there were options. I assumed divorce to come in only one variety. Divorced.

"Yes. Divorce from Bed and Bond, and Divorce from Bond of Matrimony." She closes the folder in front of her. "You mentioned that your husband does not wish to end the marriage. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Have you sought resolution?"

I nod. "We've been going to marriage counseling once a week for the past year."

"And he moved out a year ago?"

"Yes. Last October first. He rents an apartment out in Richmond."

"Why did he move out?"

"I asked him to."

"And he was comfortable with giving up your shared residence?"

"Well, no. He still keeps a bunch of his junk in boxes in the basement. And he has a key. But his job is based out of Richmond and by the time he moved out, he'd been spending so much time in hotels anyway it just made sense."

"So when's the last time he stayed overnight in the residence?"

"Um..He showed up Friday drunk as a skunk and trying to bed me. I let him sleep it off on the couch. But before that...one night in February when the weather came in quick and it was safer for him to stay with us."

"So there's no question about where he currently resides?"

"No."

"The house is in both your names?"

"Yes."

"But you've been paying the mortgage since he moved out?"

"Yes."

She opens the folder back up and flips through the pages. "Was there any abuse?"

"No ma'am!"

"Infidelity?"

I drop my eyes again."Yes." Paylor raises an eyebrow at me. "I... I had an affair."

"Can your husband prove that?"

"I'm not denying it."

"What I mean is, is it documented anywhere?"

I nod. "Our therapist knows."

"And Mr. Hawthorne still does not consent to the divorce?"

"No."

"Do you wish to remarry?"

"What?"

"Do you wish to have the right to marry again?"

I take a moment and my thoughts immediately drift where I swore they wouldn't until after this meeting. To the baker.

"Yes."

"All right Ms. Everdeen. I would advise you to seek a Divorce from Bond of Matrimony. A no-fault separation divorce. Your property will be split 50/50."

"I'll have to sell my house?"

"It's possible. As for the child, you'll have to open up a custody case with the Albemarle Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court "

"We'll have to go to court?"

"Yes. Since your husband lives in Henrico County, and the child's life is very well documented and maintained by you here, I don't think getting full custody should be an issue."

I nod silently as I listen to her speak so coldly about my life. Getting married was the easy part. Divorce is tricky business, especially when children and property are involved. I open and close my hands. Soon I realize that the sound of my fingers hitting the heel of my hand is the only sound in the room.

"Ms. Everdeen, are you sure you want to do this?"

I press my hands onto my knees."Yes. Absolutely. How soon can this all happen?"

"I can begin the paperwork this afternoon."

X

I make it to PVCC with only minutes to spare before my lecture. I'm a zombie. Thankfully, I know the material like the back of my hand. And my students don't seem to want to be here any more than I do. I dismiss them ten minutes early and sit with my head on my desk.

"Mornin' Everdeen. Where's your class?"

"Mornin' Jo. Beats the hell outta me."

"What's up your ass?"

"Filed for divorce this morning. You?"

"Idiot at Dunkin' gave me decaf."

"That mother fucker." I shake my fist.

"So clearly, I'm having a worse day than you are." She hops on the desk. "You wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay. Then you wanna talk about Blondie?"

"Hell no."

"Oh, come on! I see you two making eyes at each other, eating lunch on the grounds. I swear I even saw y'all kissing in the parking lot once."

I shoot her a sideways glance. "Did you tell Gale?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Did you?"

"No! Christ, what's that about?"

I sigh and rest my forehead on the desk with a thud. "Someone did."

"Is it getting serious?"

"I don't know."

"How's he in bed?"

I lift my head off the desk. Johanna tries not to laugh at the giant red spot on my forehead. "Look, I'm kind of having a time."

"Oh all right. I'll leave you be, then. But you owe me a girl's night." I nod as she hops off the desk. "And don't leave Blondie hanging," she says as she exits the classroom. I look at the clock on the wall. 12:05. Shit.

I toss my sweater over my shoulders and scoop up my bag as I wave through the crowd to the west entrance. I spot Peeta, sitting on the bench near the vending machines with a large paper bag next to him. He doesnt notices ive arrived - He's busy doing something on his phone. I approach him and sit down next to him.

"Baker," I greet him.

"Afternoon, Professor. Everything alright?"

"Lost track of time is all. Sorry."

"It's fine. Are you hungry?"

I way his mouth wrap around the words and I can't remember that last time I was ever so hungry. "Famished."

"Katniss! Darlin!"

Damn it.

"Hey Glimmer."

"I was just here to drop off Marvel's lunch. He can be just so forgetful, you know."

"Mmhmmm."

"And the baker is with you too. Well that is good news for me, isn't it. How do you do, sir?"

"Ma'am." Peeta nods.

"I'll be stopping by your bakery very soon, Mr. Mellark. My little girl's turning 6, just like Rue."

"I'll look forward to it."

"So... Y'all are eating lunch. Together?" her eyes dart back and forth between us.

Peeta doesn't answer. I keep my eyes on Glimmer as I feel him look over to me. "Yes, we are." I turn to Peeta. "But, I forgot something in my lecture hall."

"I'll escort you." Peeta says as he stands. He extends a hand out to me, which I reluctantly accept. He pulls me to stand and then releases me.

"Nice seeing you, Glimmer."

"Always a pleasure, Darlin'"

Peeta and I walk away from her, with a foot of space between us.

I think I've figured out whose been snitching on me.

We walk back into the lecture hall and I sit on top of the desk. I fiddle with the laser pointer that's attached to the podium. Peeta sits beside me.

"How'd it go today?"

"It went."

"What's wrong?"

"Hmm? Oh. I'm sorry. It's just... I don't trust her."

"Who?"

"Glimmer. That woman we just saw."

"Why not?"

"Someone told Gale about you spending time with me here."

Shit. I want to stuff those words back in my mouth the instant they leave.

"And that's a problem?"

I don't answer him. I know that question is a trap.

"He doesn't know about us," Peeta says quietly.

I shake my head and keep my eyes on the floor. Peeta stands up and begins to pace back and forth in front of me.

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"What is there to tell him?"

He makes a show of shrugging his shoulder. "That we've been seeing each other for two months? That our children have taken well to each other? Hell, start with my name!"

"He knows your name."

"You should tell him about us. Does he know who I am to you?"

"Who are you to me? I don't even know that."

He looks at me with wide eyes. And I choose not to have that conversation right now.

"Peeta, you have to understand that on paper, my divorce can't have anything to do with you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you are not the reason Gale and I are splitting. You didnt cause it. And if you and I weren't seeing each other, it would still be happening."

Peeta nods. "So we have to hide our relationship?"

"Please don't look at it like that."

"Well what is it then?"

"The divorce isnt all of it. Theres the matter of Rue's custody. I have to go to court. I'll have to prove that I'm a suitable mother. That I don't have a parade of men going through my house."

"It is just me, right?"

I narrow my eyes at him. "You bite your tongue."

"Thats not what I meant. I just don't understand. How am I a parade?"

"I've already got one indiscretion against me here. And documented. A relationship while I'm still legally married won't look good to a judge. Officially, we can't be involved romantically until after those papers are filed."

"But you started that paperwork today?"

"Yes."

"How long until its processed?"

"Five to ten business days. Then Gale will be served. Once he signs the papers, I'll tell him about you. All right?"

Peeta nods, but isn't entirely convinced.

"I know it's not fair. But this is the way. I'm just trying to do right by everyone. Can you understand that?"

His arms snake around me and he pulls me off of the desk, holding me close to him. "I'll try," he mumbles into my hair.

"That's all I can ask you to do," I sigh.

And when he kisses me, I surrender to him. I let him hold me. I open my mouth as he deepens the kiss and I allow him to claim me.

X

I'm tense as the week passes by. I check my phone every two minutes, waiting to hear back from Paylor. Her firm has a reputation for being fast and I just hope that Gale will be served with papers within the next week. Realistically, this won't be over at that point. On the contrary, that's when I expect the fireworks to begin. That's when he'll know I'm serious. And that's when we'll have things to hammer out.

By the time Friday evening comes, I'm a wreck. Both physically and mentally. The stress of waiting is taking its toll and as a result I have been clumsy. I've got bruises on my shins from walking into dressers and walls and a bandage on my left hand from where I sewed three stitches through the pad of my thumb. I haven't had a decent night's sleep all week either and I'm irritable.

I sit across the table from Peeta, pushing my spinach ravioli around the plate with my fork and opening and closing my left hand under the table. He looks at me through concerned eyes and a slight frown on his face. And I chastise myself for causing in one week wrinkles on his beautiful face that DJ hasn't caused in 12 years.

"Did you finish Rue's costume yet?" Peeta says, trying to pull me from my funk.

"Hmm?" I look up at him.

"Rue's costume. Are you done?"

"Oh. No. I sewed my thumb to it and I haven't picked it up since."

"Do you think maybe DJ can take Rue trick or treating on the lawn? She's been asking."

"Yeah, sure. Wait. No. Gale says he wants to do it."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

I look down to check my phone again. For an email from Paylor, a hate message from Gale, something, anything that will pull me from this hellish limbo. I stare at the screen as if I could make something appear. A moment passes and when I look back into Peeta's eyes, I can see that he's staring at me with such intensity, I wonder if he's looked away from me all night.

"Talk to me, Katniss."

"Hmm?"

He puts his hand over mine and I look into his eyes. Wide and pleading. "Please. Don't shut me out."

"I don't mean to," I whisper.

Peeta sighs. He takes his wallet out and throws some cash on the table. "Come on," he says. "Get up."

"Where are we going?" I say as I stand.

"To cheer you up."

X

"What's that?" I hold the clear bottle with the swing top closure with both hands.

"Go on and smell it." Peeta sets two glasses down on the coffee table in front of us.

I undo the closure and immediately smile when the familiar fruity acidic scent enters my nose. "Is this 'shine?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"We'll I'll be." I bring the bottle to my nose.

"You've been having a rough week. I thought maybe this would help you relax."

"Are you trying to get me drunk, sir?"

"Maybe a little."

My eyes dart back over to the bottle. "Where did you find moonshine anyway?"

"My brothers used to make it." He shrugs.

I close the bottle suddenly not wanting to waste it. "Oh." I'm still not sure what happened to his brothers. I only know that they left shortly after his parents passed away. One lives out in California, and the other Louisiana. They must not like the cold.

"No, it's fine. I've got gallons of it sealed up downstairs. Go on and enjoy it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

I pour some of the liquid into both glasses and set the bottle down on the table. I close my eyes and as I take a long pull. The alcohol burns my throat as it goes down, but for moonshine it's actually quite smooth.

"Mmmm. That's good."

"Yeah. They have a gift."

I open my eyes and take a less than hurried look around the living room.

"This is only my second time here."

"You're welcome anytime."

Theres a large globe at the side of the couch. I reach put and spin in, letting my fingertips feel the different textures at it turns. My fingers land somewhere in southeast Asia and when I look closely, I see the name "Burma" written across one of the jaggedly shaped nations.

"How old is this globe?"

"Got it in high school. I was into geography."

"Then you'll be interested to know that this map is outdated." I tap on the country. "Myanmar."

"You think that's bad?"

He reaches over me, pressing his body against mine as he spins the globe. I breathe in his delicious scent, and try to remember why I've abstained from feasting on him. His fingers land over eastern europe and he taps. The sound drags my gaze back over to the map. I read the name of the country.

"Yugoslavia?"

"This thing was a relic back when I got it."

"You should get a new one."

"I could. But I like this one."

"Why?"

"It's a snapshot of the world as it was in the 90s." he shrugs.

"All right then."

He takes a long sip from his glass. His voice is lowered when he speaks again.

"I got it at a garage sale on an outing with my dad. It was just the two of us. With two older brothers we didn't get a lot of alone time. It was... A good day."

"I understand."

A moment passes as we nurse our drinks and exchange small smiles as our eyes wander the room.

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"I feel tons more relaxed." Peeta turns to look at me. "You're a wonderful man."

A smile spreads across his face. "And you're quite the woman."

I blush and look away, taking another swig from my glass. Peeta turns on the television and opens Netflix.

"Comedy?"

"Yes, please."

"European vacation? Or maybe Happy Gilmore?"

"Hmmm. Chevy Chase or Adam Sandler... Either will do."

A moment later he puts on Happy Gilmore. Peeta leans back and pulls a blanket from the back of the couch and covers our legs with it. Then he throws his arm over my shoulder and pulls me close.

"This all right?"

"Mmhmmm," I say as I rest my head against him. He kisses the top of my head as I breathe him in. And I sigh. As much as I have enjoyed dating Peeta, and being taken out, I appreciate the chance to see what it's like to just be with him.

I grip my glass tightly with one hand and rest my other hand against his stomach. I ignore the movie and focus my attention on the rise and fall of his chest. Peeta laughs and I feel the muscles in his abdomen contract and I instinctively press my fingertips harder against him. He stops laughing and his breathing deepens. The moonshine courses through my veins as I look up and find him looking down at me. His eyes are dark and when he licks his lips, I waste no time in tilting my head up and kissing him.

"You taste good," I whisper as I gently suck his bottom lip between mine.

"Damn," he whispers as I release him.

Peeta kisses me, taking control this time. And I let him. I enjoy the feeling of his strong arm, still draped around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. I try to remember my convictions. Why we haven't done this yet. But thoughts of anything other than him leave my mind as he massages my tongue with his. I savor the taste of him, sweet and tart like cinnamon buns and moonshine. I inhale the scent of him, ivory soap and his natural musk. And I can't take it anymore.

I pull away and set my glass down on the coffee table in front of us. And then I swing my leg over his body as I straddle him. He immediately leans back and his eyes roam all over me. I feel his hands grab my hips and pull down. And I grind against him. I lean forward and kiss him again as I arch my back and rock my hips for him. The pressure and the friction feel so good and I feel my desire grow with every pass.

"I'm so wet for you," I whisper. It's definitely the shine talking, but who gives a shit. I need to feel him.

I slide my hands up my body and cup my breasts. His hands come up and cover mine and we squeeze together as I let out a moan.

"Oh, God. I wanna fuck you," he groans and his thrusts his hips up to meet mine.

"I want you to Peeta. I want you to take me slow. Like this," I say as I grind down slower than before.

Our lips meet again and I moan into his mouth. I'm hot and ready for him.

"Katniss, stop," he says, gripping my hips tightly.

"What?"

"This feels so good and I want it so bad. But not tonight." He drops his head back to rest on the back of the couch. "This is not why I brought you up here. Besides, DJ will be home soon."

Oh, right. I'd all but forgotten about DJ.

"All right," I say leaning forward and kissing him once more. I break away and dismount him. "Do you want to take me home now?" I'm feeling just a little embarrassed.

"What? No. We're in the middle of a movie."

That neither of us has been watching.

"I'll drop you off when it's over."

"What about DJ?"

"She's 12. She'll be okay if I leave the house to run an errand real quick."

"Is that what I am to you? An errand?"

"Yep. Something to cross off my 'to do' list?" he teases.

"I'm looking forward that." I say as we settle back into our original positions on the couch. Peeta's arm is wrapped around me, and I feel his thumb rub up and down my shoulder. I feel at peace and so I close my eyes and let myself drift away.

"Come on," Peeta whispers as his weight shifts beside me. I open my eyes and find the TV screen darkened - the movies been over for a while.

"What time is it?"

"Late."

"All right. Let's go." I push myself up to stand. I'm still tipsy and the room spins a little.

"We're not going anywhere. It's nearly 2am." Peeta yawns and stretches as he stands and I sneek a peek at the happy trail of hair that disappears into his underwear. "You're staying with me."

He walks out of the living room and down the hall. I follow him. I wobble down the hallway, past the linen closet and the bathroom. We pass DJ's room and I notice her door is shut. I wonder for a moment what time she got home or what she made of us on the couch together. But I let the concern pass as I look to Peeta. He's standing inside of his bedroom, holding the door open for me.

"Come on, Professor," he encourages.

I step into the room and he closes the door behind me. I slowly move to sit at the foot of the bed and I watch Peeta undress. He pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it into an open hamper inside of his open closet. His back is to me as he unzips his jeans and tugs them down his hips. He steps out of them and then bends over to pick them up. I stare at his ass. He notices.

"Get ready for bed," he commands quietly.

He hangs his jeans over the side of one of the two wooden chairs near the window. Then he opens the window a crack and I hiss as I feel the cool autumn air seep in.

"I don't have anything to sleep in."

He walks over to a large dresser and pulls put a plain white Tshirt for me and tosses it my way. "Here."

I sigh as I tug my shirt off and set it neatly beside me. I reach back and undo my bra clasp and I let the garment slide down my arms. It's Peeta's turn to stare. I blush as I realize this is the first time my chest has been bare to him. I smile demurely at him and I pull the shirt down over my head. I stand up and remove my jeans, and hang them over the same chair as Peeta's.

"I'm cold," I whisper.

"I'll keep you warm."

And he does. We climb into his bed together and he immediately reaches out and pulls me to him by my hips. His body cocoons around mine and he snuggles his face in my hair. I intertwine my fingers with his, loving the feeling of being the little spoon.

"Goodnight," he whispers. And he kisses the back of my head.

"Goodnight," I echo.

X

I wake up to the sun streaming in through the window and the sound of pots and pans clanging to the floor in the kitchen. The noise startles Peeta awake too.

"What was that?" I ask.

Peeta releases his hold on me - we'd barely moved all night - and leaps off the bed and flies out of the door. I sit up and try to listen to what's going on.

"Sorry, daddy," I hear DJ's voice. She's making an effort to be quiet. "I didn't mean to drop it."

"It's fine. I'm just glad youre okay. Sit down. I'll make you breakfast," Peeta replies.

"No! Go on back to bed. She's waiting for you."

"You need to eat," Peeta starts.

"I'll have some cereal. And I'll sneak some stuff when I go downstairs, all right?"

A moment later Peeta reappears at the door.

"G'morning," he says.

"Morning."

"Are you hungry?"

"I don't know. What time is it?"

"6:00."

I give him a confused look. "Why are we awake?"

"Because I need to get downstairs soon. We open at 9."

"Oh. Right."

"And I still need to take you home."

"I'm up," I say as I throw the covers off of me. I raise my hands overhead.

He shakes his head. "I've got a beautiful woman in my bed wearing nothing but my Tshirt. Why am I convincing you to leave?" he says as he slides into the bed beside me and pulls the covers back over us. He kisses me on the forehead. We lay on our sides staring into each others eyes, while sharing soft touches. My hands roam all over his body, squeezing his flesh when the urge strikes. Peeta follows suit, touching and rubbing me gently.

I know in a few minutes, well have to get up. He'll go to work, and I'll go to my appointment. But for right now, none of that matters.

X

I arrive to Dr. Aurelius's office ten minutes early and nervously flip through a parenting magazine. I skim an article on vaccines three times before I give up actually reading and just look at the pretty pictures. Dr. Aurelius greets me as he opens the door, and is surprised to see that Gale hasn't arrived yet. And so am I. He's usually here first.

"Well, come on in and have a seat," he suggests.

"Thank you," I say and I settle into my usual spot on the left side of the couch.

I smile and do my best to appear calm. But the euphoria of waking up in Peeta's arms is gone. It's only a minute before my nervous habit gives me away.

"What is it, Katniss?"

I want to tell him about the shitstorm that may be approaching. That one way or another Gale may have found out I filed for divorce. But my throat is impossibly dry and I can't wrap my mouth around the words.

"Nothing," I lie. I consider having produced any sound to be an accomplishment. I let my eyes wander around the room as I breathe deeply. I don't know what's coming next.

A minute later Gale arrives and his face is flushed. I hold my breath, anticipating the worst.

"Sorry I'm late. Had to go to the office this morning."

I exhale and my fear shifts to anger. He's still blissfully unaware I've filed for divorce, and what's worse he's late to therapy on a Saturday morning because of work. I glare at him silently, more confident than ever in my decision.

"Well then, lets begin." Dr. Aurelius says, gesturing to the couch for Gale to sit. I appreciate that Dr. Aurelius didn't say anything along the lines of "it's okay" or something else accepting of Gale's constant dismissive behavior.

"What happened to your hand," Gale says as he sits down next to me. He almost sounds concerned. "You're hurt."

"Sewing accident making Rue's costume."

"I'm sorry, love."

"I'm fine. It was worth it and I'm nearly done with it. She loves it. She can't wait for you to see her in it."

"I cant wait to see pictures either."

"Pictures? Why would you need pictures? You'll see her in it on Thursday."

He stares at me blankly.

"Trick-or-treating? Remember?"

His eyes widen and he pulls his evil blackberry from his pocket. "It's the 31st, right?"

"Is Halloween different in London?"

"It's not as big a deal." He presses a few buttons. "I've a conference call until 6:00...I can be in Charlottesville by 7:15.

"Are you kidding?" He furrows his brow at me. "Trick-or-treating at that hour?"

"It's not that late."

"It is on Halloween. No trick-or-treating after dark. "

"Isn't that the point?"

"Not for a 6 year old, you dipshit!"

"Katniss," Dr. Aurelius interrupts. "Let's explain the situation to Gale with more detail."

I take a deep breath. "Trick-or-treating on the UVA lawn is from 4 to 6."

"Then I'll take her out afterward. We can pick a neighborhood."

"All her friends will be at the Rotunda. She'll be too exhausted for another outing. If you take her out to do anymore, she'll be overloaded. You want her to have night terrors?"

"No," he answers quickly. Rue's night terrors scare the hell out of him. Even though he's never been the one who has to deal with them.

" Let alone the safety issue with going out after dark on Halloween." I continue.

"Okay, Catnip. I understand. But, then I'm afraid I can't make it."

I stand and make my way over to the door.

"Katniss, stop!"

"No! I've been waiting here half an hour on you for you to show up and tell me you're gonna break Rue's heart. Again. I can't even look at you right now!"

"Wait!" Gale protests.

I exit the office without another word.

X

Gale makes no mention of my leaving therapy yesterday as we eat our brunch. And I've barely said two words to him since we sat down.

"What are your plans this afternoon?" he asks. I ignore him. I'm not in the most mature of moods today.

"Riding at Sae's!" Rue answers. "Mommy, do you think DJ will be there today?"

Gales expression hardens as his eyes burn a hole into me.

"I don't know, baby. Maybe."

"Daddy, you should come. You can meet my friend, DJ."

"I'd like to, honey, but I have to-"

Rue sinks back into her chair. "Yeah. You have to work."

Gale sighs. "Maybe next weekend?"

"Maybe," Rue repeats. But she doesn't sound convinced.

"Rue, I have to tell you something."

"Baby," I interrupt. "Go find out which of Mr. Mellark's cakes they have today."

"Okay, mommy."

I keep my eyes trained on Gale as Rue hops down off her chair and skips over to the dessert case.

"Keep a lid on Halloween for now, will you? You've disappointed her enough for one day. "

"I don't mean to."

"I don't believe that anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"If you were really sorry, you'd find a way."

"I can't."

"I don't expect you to anymore."

I take a sip of my tea and look over at Rue.

"So DJ. She's the baker's daughter?"

"Yes."

"You spend your Sunday afternoons over at Sae's? Together?"

I sigh before I begin. "Gale, if there's something you'd like to know, I suggest you join us once in a while. Quit getting sore about things you know nothing about."

Gale nods as he takes another sip of his espresso.

"It's about that time anyway." I stand. "You coming?"

Gale shakes his head.

Figures.

X

Peeta and I stand side by side just outside of the long wooden fence as DJ and Rue whoosh past us. We cheer them on as they pass us with each lap.

"You seem more relaxed today," Peeta says with a smile.

I blush at the memory of why I'm so happy. Seems a little moonshine, dry humping, and cuddling were just what I needed.

I lick my lips as I look up into his eyes. Peeta looks down at me with a knowing smile across his face.

"Go on! Kiss her!"

"Rue!" I yell, tearing my eyes way from the baker. I both hear and feel him laugh beside me.

"Did you kiss her yet?" Rue continues.

"You get back out there," I say gesturing back to the arena.

"But we're bored!" Rue whines.

DJ comes up besides her, still a little uneasy about stopping a horse. I bring my fists into my chest to remind her of the motion and she nods.

"Can we go out on one of the trails?" Rue begs.

"Yeah. Can we?" DJ asks.

"Not today, girls."

"Why not mommy?"

"Because we've got to go pick out a pumpkin. Halloween is on Thursday and we still don't have one. DJ I hope you don't mind carving pumpkins before we go trick or treating."

DJ's smile widens. "No ma'am."

"Good. Get these horses squared away and we'll all go then."

"Ok, mommy. Race you DJ!"

"Hey, wait up!"

I laugh as I watch the girls hurry over to the other side of the arena. I turn to Peeta, expecting him to join in my laughter, but he's silent and staring at me.

"Peeta? What's wro-"

My words are cut off as he presses our lips together. His hand snakes around my waist and pulls me closer. Just as my limbs go numb, he pulls away.

"Thank you."

X

"Mommy, we need more napkins!" Rue calls to me as she smears pumpkin goo across her forehead. DJ uses her sleeve to wipe the excess off of her face.

"Careful not to get any in your eyes," she cautions.

"Thanks," Rue smiles.

We put down a plastic painting sheet in my backyard, but I'm not sure its doing much to contain the mess of four simultaneous pumpkin carvings. I opt to use one of those carving kits from the dollar store and carve a traditional jack o lantern face. Rue is attempting to make a witch's face, while DJ wants to carve a heart. Peeta insists on using power tools to get his done. The sound of the drill echoes as he begins an intricate design.

"Pointillism!" he proudly exclaims.

I shake my head at him. "I'll be right back."

I walk into the house and make my way to the kitchen. I'm still feeling stressed. More than ever since I approved the documents Paylor sent over two days ago. Gale could be served at any point from here on out. I open the kitchen closet and take out a roll of paper towels.

"They're having fun," Peeta says. I close the closet door to get a good look at him.

"Yeah. Pumpkin carving is always a great activity. What are you doing in here?"

"The girls wanted some water."

"Oh. Bottles are in the fridge."

I take a step forward, trying to step around Peeta but he grabs me by the wrist. He pushes me up against the closet door and he leans over me, with his left arm on the door beside my head. He licks his lips and then presses them to mine.

I pull away with a smile. "The girls are right outside."

He looks down at me and brings his right hand to caress my left cheek with the backs of his fingers.

"Let's go carve some pumpkins then."

"All right."

"After you, Professor."

"Ahem!" the low sound of a male voice clearing his throat causes me to jump. I look beyond Peeta and towards the front door.

"Gale?"

I look back to Peeta. He pushes himself off of the door, releasing me. And I wonder just how much Gale saw.

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same." His voice is as deep as it can be.

"I thought you had to work."

"I pushed my conference call back a few hours. Whats going on in here?"

"Nothin'" I say.

"Nothing? Looks like you were about to snog right here in the kitchen."

Oh good, he didn't actually see Peeta kiss me.

"Snog?" Peeta asks. I close my eyes, wanting this whole scene to be over.

Gale's eyes dart over to Peeta. "Who is this?"

Peeta's voice seems to drop an octave as he stands to his full height, though he's still a couple of inches shorter than Gale.

"Peeta Mellark." he extends a hand out for Gale to shake.

Gales eyes drift from Peeta over to me. "The baker?"

"Daddy?" Rues voices floats into the kitchen.

"Hey, honey," Gale says. His eyes are still locked with mine.

"I'm so glad you're here. Wanna meet DJ?"

I raise my eyebrows at him and Gale smirks slightly.

"I'm just saying hello to her father," Gale says and he grabs ahold of Peeta's still outstretched hand. They shake hands once, but the motion is so hard, I'm surprised neither of them is hurt by it.

Gales eyes drift from Peeta and finally land on Rue, who is covered in pumpkin guts. "Oh, honey. What have you been doing?" Gale walks past Peeta and over to me. I hold my breath as he leans in to greet me with a kiss and I turn, letting him catch my cheek. I notice Peeta tense and shift his weight. Gale's eyes narrow at me as he pulls away, and he takes the roll of paper towels from my hands.

"Carving pumpkins! You wanna help?"

Gale turns and walks towards Rue while ripping off a square of paper towel. He kneels down next to her and begins to clean off her face. She closes her eyes and lets him.

"Sure, baby. Lead the way."

I finally steal a glance over at Peeta. He's staring at me, his lips are pressed into a tight line, and the expression on his face unreadable.

"Hey Dad! You said you were getting us water." DJ enters the living room, with pumpkin guts all over her arms.

"You must be DJ," Gale says. And he extends her a few paper towels.

DJ's eyes dart between Gale and Peeta.

"Yes sir, that's me."

Peeta stares at Gale as he watches his first interaction with his daughter.

"Well, it's nice to meet you," Gale smiles. "Rue has nothing but good things to say about you. I'm Gale, her father."

Again, DJs eyes drift between Gale and Peeta. "It's nice to meet you too, Mr. Gale."

Gale smiles. "Did you say you were thirsty? Peter! Get this beautiful young lady some water. You know where we keep it," Gale raises an eyebrow at Peeta.

I won't allow pissing contests when the children are here.

"Stop it." I say as I take a few bottles out of the fridge and deposit them onto the counter.

"My dad's name is Peet-AH," DJ corrects.

"Honest mistake," Gale lies. "Peeta." He turns back to Rue. "Show me your jack-o-lantern."

"Okay, daddy." Rue practically runs out the door. "Come on, DJ!"

DJ raises her eyebrows questioningly at Peeta. He nods to her and she follows Gale and Rue out the door. Peeta turns to me.

"Is this really happening?" he whispers.

"I didn't know he'd be here," I whisper back.

"He still has a key?"

"Peeta, please."

Peeta brings his hand up to my face and drags his thumb across my bottom lip. "Did he just try to kiss you?"

"Don't do this right now," I exhale as I lean into his touch. It's not a good time to discuss Gale's recent sexual advances. I haven't even told Peeta exactly why I needed to end our video sex session a couple of weeks ago.

"We'll talk about this later," I half plead, half promise.

"All right," he sighs. He withdraws his hand and runs his fingers through his hair. "But, you need to tell him." he grabs a bottle of water off the counter and makes his way into the back yard.

I follow him a moment later and find Rue and DJ setting their now finished pumpkins onto the picnic table. Gale's got his head buried in the shed while Peeta looks through a plastic bag.

"Right. Here we are," Gale returns with an armful of candles.

"Oh, actually Gale. Peeta and DJ brought glow sticks."

"Glow sticks?" Gale repeats.

Peeta removes the glow sticks from the plastic bag and hands them over to the girls. "Yes, Gale. They're much safer than candles," he condescends. But before Gale has a chance to react, Peeta turns to the girls. "Plus they come in colors. And we can open em up and pour the liquid on out the steps. It'll make em look creepy!"

"Ooh, really?" Rue asks. Peeta nods.

"Girls, why don't you go on up to Rue's room and get your costumes on?" I suggest. "DJ, Rue will need some help getting dressed."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Okay mommy." Rue and DJ disappear into the house.

I realize as soon as the girls are in the house that I'm alone with Peeta and Gale. These two don't coexist well in my mind.

I walk over to the plastic sheet, splattered with pumpkin and begin to wrap it up. Peeta kneels down on the other side and helps me. Gale sits and watches us.

Having done a better job than I'd realized of containing the mess, I smile at Peeta.

"Thank you."

He smiles back at me and opens his mouth to speak. But then I hear Gale's voice.

"Am I really to believe that you're not fucking my wife?"

"Gale!"

"It's a fair question, love. I come home-"

"You don't live here anymore."

"-and find him hovering over you. I see how he's looking at you."

"You should treat your wife with more respect." Peeta says sternly. "Or she might not be your wife for long."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

I bring my face to my palm as Peeta ignores Gale and steps into the house, carrying the garbage in his hands. As soon as Gale and I are alone, I turn on him.

"Would you quit beating your chest like a Neanderthal?" I seethe.

"You said you weren't having another affair."

"I'm not!"

"What the fuck was happening in the kitchen?"

"What's it to you?"

"You are my wife, damn it!"

"I don't want to be your wife anymore! You know that! Why are you doing this? Why are you even here?"

"Taking you and Rue trick-or-treating. Or have you forgotten?"

"Did you forget that you told me you couldn't make it?"

"I thought you'd be happy I came."

"I woulda been 2 years ago. We have plans, as you can see. DJ asked if she could take Rue trick-or-treating."

"Right. And seeing the baker has nothing to do with it."

"Get your head out of your ass!"

I move to enter the house, but Gale steps in front of me.

"I'm sorry."

I roll my eyes.

"I can feel you pulling away from me."

Is he serious? "I pulled away from you years ago. After you pulled away from me."

"Watching you with him. That wasn't easy for me to see, Catnip." He reaches out and brushes a strand of hair out of my face. I swat his hand away.

"I don't particularly give a shit. Today ain't about you and your behavior has been atrocious. You owe Peeta an apology. And act right around those girls, or you'd do well to go back to Richmond right now."

"So I'm supposed to just sit quietly while he leers at you?"

"He ain't leering at me."

"For fucks sake, Katniss. The poor bloke wants you. It's pretty obvious."

"I don't see how that is any of your concern."

"Katniss, he-"

"No!" I interrupt him. "End it."

I push past him and walk into the house.

"You coming?"

Gale nods and he enters the house behind me.

"Gale's done being an ass." I say. I feel Gale's gaze on me as I give Peeta's arm a reassuring squeeze. Peeta's eyes linger on my hand as I touch him. The gesture is clearly more intimate than the 'just friends' act I've been peddling. But none of us have a chance to sort it out, because the girls appear at the bottom of the steps.

Rue looks particularly adorable in her super spy costume. It's black and pink and I actually used photos of the cake Peeta made for inspiration. And DJ is extra adorable in the witch costume that she made for herself.

"You look amazing, ladies," Peeta says. He pulls a green Frankenstein mask over his face and makes a "aaaarrrgrghhh" sound.

"Scary, dad!" DJ giggles.

I laugh as I settle my cat ears on top of my head. I'm wearing all black and I've got a matching tail I made that sticks to my pants with Velcro.

"Mr. Gale, what are you wearing?" DJ asks

"Oh. I'm not wearing a costume."

"Why not, daddy?" Rue complains.

"Come on y'all. Let's get going," I interrupt.

We step outside onto the front porch and I lock the door behind me. We line the jack-o-lanterns up in a row.

I spare Peeta a glance before I open the car and let Rue climb in. As I lean into the vehicle and buckle her in, I hear Gale climb into the passenger seat.

"What are you doing?"

"Carpooling."

I roll my eyes and step out of the car. I notice both Peeta and DJ staring at me as I walk to the drivers side.

We pull out of the driveway and drive towards UVA. I see Peeta's car right behind me in my rear knew mirror.

"Why won't you let me kiss you?" Gale asks quieltly. But not quietly enough, because Rue answers him.

"She doesn't want to kiss you anymore, daddy." Rue says it like its the simplest thing.

"Does mommy kiss Mr. Mellark?"

"Gale! Don't you pump our child for information like that!"

"No. But I wish she would already." Rue says as she stares out of the window.

My eyes cut over to Gale. That's not quite the answer he was hoping for.

"Can we please just enjoy the outing?"

"Sure, Catnip." he says sounding defeated. "Sure."

We manage to find two parking spaces together when we reach UVA. I walk silently between Peeta and Gale as DJ and Rue run up ahead of us. What I wouldn't give for this awkwardness to end. After years of waiting, and having finally given up, Gale picks today to surprise us and actually shows up. And now I want to kill him.

I ignore the stares of Glimmer Abbot as I break away from Gale and Peeta and spread out a blanket on the lawn. I sit at the corner of the rectangular blanket and extend my feet towards the middle. In order to sit next to me, someone would have to sit off the blanket and essentially out themselves as territorial. Right now, I'm feeling confused and I choose not to sit next to either of them.

Peeta will understand.

It's not long before Prim and Rory spot us and set up a blanket along side us. They try to engage us in conversation for a while, but quiet down and keep to themselves when they see the staring contest between Gale and Peeta is of epic proportions.

The girls come back a short time later panting heavily and they drop down onto the blanket and turn their bags upside down. The various clubs and organizations at the University set up tables and handed out a variety of sweets ranging from junk to fruit.

"That was sooo much fun!" Rue breathes.

"I want all the pink candy!" Posy proclaims. Rue rolls her eyes, but tosses her a couple of pieces of bubble gum from her pile.

"Here's an airhead that's half pink, half green," DJ says as she tosses it her way.

"Honey, you'll rot your teeth with all that gum," Prim cautions.

"Let her have it," Gale says.

"Yeah, it's not everyday,"Rory agrees.

"Well I want a snickers," Peeta says and Rue happily tosses him one.

It's not long before we're all pigging out on the mountain of candy the girls have collected. Maybe it's the sugar, or maybe it's the season, but for a split second I could swear we're all happy.

I tempt fate and turn to Gale. I whisper to him, "Thank you for coming."

"You're welcome," he replies. And I smile at him.

Glancing over to Peeta, I can see him smiling too.

X

I step out of the shower to find Rue relaxing on my bed.

"Go get ready, baby," I say as I make my way over to my dresser. I opt to wear matching undergarments tonight. "Posy's waiting on you."

"Okay, mommy."

My phone buzzes with a FaceTime call from Peeta.

"Afternoon, baker," I greet him.

"Professor," he nods his head and smiles. "Everything alright."

"Just waiting on Rue. I'll be there once I drop her off."

"You sure you don't want me to pick you up?"

"No, I'll already be half way there. No sense in driving all the way back here."

"I could fetch you at Prim's."

"I'll keep that in mind for the future."

"Well all right. Just get here soon, woman."

"I will."

I blow him a kiss and disconnect the call.

I've got my jeans and a sweater on, but my hair is still wet when I make my way downstairs and begin tidying up. It not terribly messy, so after just a few minutes, I sit on the couch and thumb through a magazine. I pass an ad for Skyla and begin reading about it. I've currently got Mirena, but it's due to come out next year. I flip through the articles while wait for Rue to come downstairs. My thoughts drift back to the lawn. To the peaceful happiness we all enjoyed - dare I say it...as a family.

Just then I hear the from door unlock and I roll my eyes. Gale's here again, and he didn't bother to even text to let me know he as on his way this time. I hear him enter the house and make his way into the living room.

"Afternoon, Gale," I say, not bothering to look up from my magazine.

I hear him breathing heavily, almost panting. And I feel goosebumps form across my skin. I slowly glance up to him to find he's standing on the other side of the coffee table, staring at me with fire in his eyes. His tie is undone and rests over the back of his neck. He isn't even wearing a jacket. His hair is disheveled. And his face is beet red.

He throws down a short stack of papers onto the coffee table. My eyes fall upon them. The divorce papers. My eyes flicker back up to stare into his. He's shaking with barely contained rage as he opens his mouth and speaks to me.

"No."


	6. A Small Lighter Can Burn a Bridge

**Hello again! And Happy Labor Day (to those of you in the States).**

**I really don't have the words to tell you how much I appreciate the increased positive response to this story. Thank you! You have all been wonderful.**

**I'll try to continue to post with some sort of regularity. But my kid starts preschool this week and I'm freakin' nervous (he's not though).**

**Lauralulubee, author of the awesome fic, I'll look after you, has been an excellent beta for this chapter. She's even helping me out with the next one, so hopefully it'll be ready for prime time soon.**

**Lastly, I noticed this story is being shared a lot on tumblr, so I'm giving tumblr another try. So follow me, HazlenutMacchiatio, look at funny pictures, chat, or whatever the hell else we're supposed to do there.**

**Thanks again. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

_"But, even a small lighter can burn a bridge..."_

Once Gale and I graduated from UVA, we were finally able to settle into married life. He would go to work - only 8 hour days back then- and I stayed home, barefoot and pregnant. I cooked, cleaned, and otherwise nested for Rue's arrival. He would come home, rub my feet, help me stretch, and generally be the perfect husband. When I was seven months pregnant with Rue, I had a craving for Italian food. Gale insisted on taking me out and showing off my baby bump. So despite my increasing fatigue, I was thrilled when he took me to one of our favorite restaurants for dinner. We sat at the table, with our menus down as we patiently waited for our server. Gale checked his blackberry while I rubbed my gigantic belly with the palm of my right hand, a soothing motion that seems to be instinctual for expecting mothers. Rue was asleep, barely kicking, and I was nothing short of ravenous.

"Good evening. Can I take your order? Or do you need more ti-"

The server's words hitched as he tripped on a fold in the rug and fell into my chair, sliding it a few inches across the floor. My pregnant belly pressed uncomfortably into the table in front of me. Before I could realize what was happening, the sharp pain coursing through my body caused me to yelp. I pushed away from the table and stood up as I brought my hands protectively to my stomach and felt around. I held my breath as I poked and prodded at my sleeping unborn child, doing everything in my power to get her to move. It was the longest twenty seconds of my life. But, Rue finally kicked.

"We're okay," I said. Though no one asked. "Gale?"

I turned around to find Gale holding the server against the wall with his hand wrapped around his throat.

"Gale!" I called again.

It took a moment, but my voice seemed to reach him. He blinked rapidly as he looked at me, seemingly calmer. But his eyes were still filled with hate.

"Katniss," he said. I barely recognized his voice.

"Put him down," I said softly.

Gale kept his eyes locked on mine as his grip on the man loosened. The server moved quickly away and I took a step closer to Gale. But then I stopped, because Gale didn't relax.

I saw a side of him in that moment that I didn't know existed. Anger. Rage. Fire. In all the time I've known him, it was the only time I was afraid of him.

Until now.

I hear him breathing heavily, almost panting. And I feel goosebumps form across my skin. He's shaking with barely contained rage as he opens his mouth and speaks to me.

"No."

"Gale," I begin. "Let's talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"I think there is."

"I'm not giving you a divorce."

"I don't need your permission."

"You're not taking my family away from me."

My phone buzzes on the table with a new text message. I tear my eyes away from him while I lean over to the table and pick it up.

"Your lover?" he sneers.

I look at the message. It's from Prim.

_What's your ETA?_

"My sister." My eyes dart back up to him. I stand and I walk around the coffee table and towards the kitchen. I hear Gale follow me as I type out a quick response:

_Dunno. Gale's here._

"Don't you fucking lie to me."

"I ain't lying to you, Gale."

I set the phone down on the kitchen counter as I grab glass out of the cupboard and pour myself a glass of water. Something tells me this conversation will be taxing on my throat.

"Why did you have those papers drawn up?"

"You know why."

"Tell me."

"I told you I wanted a divorce last year." I take a sip of water.

"And I told you I didn't." He rips the papers into pieces and I watch as they flutter to the ground.

"Why not?"

"Because we took vows, Katniss. For better or worse. Not just until things get difficult."

"We broke those vows."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes. You did. Just not the same ones as me."

My phone buzzes again.

"Tell that wanker to keep his dick in his pants."

"It's Prim," I say exasperated.

I reach for the phone, but Gale beats me to it. He reads the text message. Aloud.

"Peeta Mellark: Imagining you're with me right now?" he reads it like a question. I close my eyes. Shit.

"Prim, huh? I'm going to ask you one more time. Are. You. Fucking. The. Baker?"

"No."

Gale's hand reaches far back behind his head as he winds up his arm and throws my phone against the kitchen wall. The loud noise startles me and I gasp as it smashes to pieces.

"LIES!" he screams.

"Gale, calm down."

"I can't believe this is happening again."

"You're not being reasonable."

He narrows his eyes as he walks over to me. As he steps forward, I instinctively step back. I loosen my grip on my glass and it slips out of my hand, shattering on the floor at my feet.

"Gale?"

"You don't get to walk away from me, Katniss."

"Daddy? What's wrong?"

I freeze and my eyes widen. Panic floods my body. My heart beats faster, but I work against my nerves. I keep my eyes on Gale as I find my voice.

"Everything's okay, baby. Just grab your bag, put on your jacket, and open the front door. We're leaving."

"Alright," she replies quietly. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch her move around us, into the living room, where she picks up her knapsack.

"Prim is expecting us."

I realize I'm shaking. I glance from the mixture of water, paper, and shattered glass at my feet to the debris field that was my new iPhone 5 and the back to Gale, who is standing with his arms folded over his chest.

"We're not done."

I tiptoe around the glass and put some more space between us. I don't speak again until I'm near the front door. I lean down and help Rue put her jacket on. She was struggling with the second sleeve.

"We can talk about this tomorrow," with witnesses.

Gale takes a step towards me and I flinch. He notices, and it seems to register to him finally how far past okay this whole thing has gone. I wouldn't put too much stock in my mind's perception at the moment. But, it almost looks like his eyes are watery.

"Mommy, are you cold? You're shivering."

"Yes, baby. I am," I lie.

"You should bring an extra sweater just in case."

"That's good advice," I say as I open the door. "Let's get you over to Posy's."

"What time will you be home?" Gale asks.

I close the door behind me without another word.

I bite the inside of my cheek as I strap Rue into her booster seat. I look back at my front door, making sure it's closed as I walk around the car and climb into the drivers seat. I turn the car on and quickly pull out of the driveway.

"What's wrong, mommy?"

"Nothing baby," I lie again.

"Was daddy being mean?"

"Yes, he was."

"Why?"

I look at her in my rear view mirror. "I hurt his feelings."

"Oh. You should probably say sorry then."

"You're right. I will."

When we arrive at Prim's, Rue offers me a quick "Bye, mommy, love you," and runs right into the house and up the stairs.

I stand, shaking in Prim's doorway for longer than I realize.

"What's wrong?"

"Hmm? Oh... Gale."

"Everything okay?"

"No."

"You want to come in? Talk about it?"

I see Rory move in the kitchen behind her. "No."

"You must think I'm dumber than a coal bucket." Prim narrows her eyes at me. She knows something is off, that I need to talk.

"No, I don't."

"Fine. You know where to find me," she sighs.

I nod at her and turn away. I climb back into my car. My hands are shaking more than ever. I need to get away from here. I refuse to have a breakdown outside of Prim's house. I can't go home. And I can't go to Peeta's like this.

So, I drive.

I look up and take in my surroundings and realize I'm outside of the Ivy Creek hiking trails. I don't remember driving here. And I'm not sure how long I've been sitting here as I open and close my hands in my lap. The sun is low in the sky, as I climb out of my car and begin to walk. I wander down the red trail until I find a tree that calls to me. I drift from the beaten path and walk until its just out of sight. I press my back to a large oak, and slump against the ground.

I sit here, alone with my thoughts, as the afternoon fades away. I'm quiet and still so long, that deer begin to graze near me. The sun begins to set, and I let the darkness surround me.

I never thought Gale was capable of hurting me. But now, I'm not so sure. The look in his eyes said he either wanted to kiss me or kill me. I'm honestly not sure which would be worse. If Rue hadn't come downstairs at just that moment, I don't know how far things might have escalated. I drag my fingertips nervously through the dirt around me, drawing small circles and nonsensical designs in the ground.

I'm too busy wallowing to realize how much time has passed. But the isolation has helped. I'm barely shaking. I make my way back to the trail - I didn't go far, so it was easy enough to get back. I climb back into my car. I open my glove compartment, hoping to find that I stashed another bottle of alcohol there, but I don't find anything except junk: receipts, spare change, my old iPhone 4, and a hard candy. I plug in the phone to charge - ill reactivate it tomorrow- and I pop the candy into my mouth. I drive back to town. To the baker.

It's after ten by the time I find myself pulling into the parking lot outside of Peeta's bakery. I ring his doorbell and then immediately pull my hand closer. There's an impressive amount of dirt caked under my nails. I glance down at myself and find that I'm covered in a layer of dirt.

I'm not yet sure if I'm comforted by the sound of Peeta's footsteps as he bounds down the steps. He flings the door open and his eyes find mine instantly.

"There you are. I was worried. Your phone kept going to voicemail."

"Sorry, Gale smashed it."

"He what?"

I nod. "He threw it against a wall when he saw you texting me."

"Shit, I'm sorry."

I shake my head. "No, it's not your fault." It's mine. Peeta asked me to tell Gale about us two weeks ago. But, I'm still not sure if things would be better now if I had.

"Are you all right? Come here," he collects me in his arms and I feel the tears well up in my eyes. I inhale sharply as I will myself not to fall to pieces right here on the front porch.

"Shhh, Katniss," he soothes as he strokes my filthy hair. "Come inside."

I try to control my breath as I lean against Peeta. He wraps his arm around my waist and leads me up the stairs and into his apartment. He directs me to the couch and we sit. He pulls my head into his chest and rocks me gently.

Peeta sighs and I feel him tense. "Did he hurt you?"

I shake my head against him. "No, he just...gave me a fright is all."

Peeta exhales audibly. He sounds calmer now. "What happened?"

"He got the papers." I feel Peeta nod his head above me. "But, he won't sign them."

"Why not?"

"He doesn't want to divorce me." I hold Peeta closer. "He won't let me go."

And finally, I cry. I feel my body shake with all the emotions I contained in front of Gale, Rue, Prim, and even held back from myself. My tears soak through the cotton fabric of Peeta's T-shirt and he holds me tightly.

"You let it out." He rubs my back. "I'm here."

He doesn't tell me everything's fine, because it isn't. He doesnt tell me things will get better, because they might not. He just holds me, supporting me and my decisions, and comforting me when I need it most. When my breathing finally begins to even out, I feel him kiss the top of my head. His hand comes up to my face and he uses his thumb to wipe the tears away from my eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. For so much. For being unavailable. For unloading on him, yet again.

He leans down and kisses me gently.

"Katniss, I want you to change your locks tomorrow." I nod, processing his words. "And I don't think you should be alone with Gale right now. If he did anything to hurt you or Rue-" He cuts himself off and shakes his head. "Come on," he says. "Let's get you cleaned up."

He pulls me to stand and leads me down the hall to the bathroom. He closes the door behind us. I watch as he pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it into a corner. He shucks his jeans next, standing before me in just his boxer briefs as I stare. When he takes a step towards me, I don't flinch.

Peeta undresses me slowly, almost questioningly. He pulls my sweater over my head and tosses it into the pile of his clothing. He unzips my jeans and pushes the waistband down over my hips. I step out of them, leaving me in just my underwear. I don't even care that they match anymore.

"How'd you get so dirty?" His fingers comb through my disheveled hair. I smile, but I don't answer. He turns on the shower and we step inside.

Peeta stands under the stream of hot water with me. He gently washes my arms with ivory soap and rinses the suds away with downward swipes of his strong hands. I wrap my arms around him and press my body against his, holding him tightly as he unfastens my bra and washes my back.

"Why do you do it, Peeta?"

"Do what?"

"Why do you take such good care of me?" He doesn't answer. "I'm bad for you."

"Don't you talk like that." He kisses me once on the lips. "You have been so good for me."

He grabs a bottle of lavender scented shampoo. "Turn around."

I spin around as I feel him collect my hair in his hands. He smooths the strands away from my face and then his hand movements quicken as he works up a lather.

"That feels good," I sigh as his fingertips massage my scalp. "Mmmm."

His hands slow down at the sound of my moan. I hear him breathe heavily behind me.

"Peeta?"

He doesn't answer me right away. I turn my head, looking at him over my shoulder. He slowly licks his lips. I look away.

"Yes, Katniss?" he finally answers.

"Nothing."

He directs me under the water. I close my eyes as he rinses the shampoo from my hair.

"There. All clean."

"Thank you," I say as I step out from under the water. I carefully pull my hair over my right shoulder. My eyes are closed as I wring out my hair.

I open my eyes and inhale sharply as I feel feather light kisses trail down my neck. Peeta drags his fingertips up my spine, sending shivers through my body. His right hand wraps around me and presses against my stomach, pulling me closer and pressing my back to his chest. I can feel his hardness pressed against my lower back as he sucks gently at the skin behind my left ear. His right hand slides up my stomach and his thumb traces the underside of my breast through the wet fabric of my bra. I bring my left hand up and reach behind me. My fingers weave into his hair as I hold him closer to me.

Too soon, Peeta pulls away from me. He leans over and shuts off the water. He reaches outside of the shower and produces a towel, which he wraps around me. He wraps a second towel around his waist, then steps out of his wet boxer briefs. He wrings them out then tosses them into the pile of dirty clothes.

"Let's go lie down," he suggests as he steps out of the shower.

He scoops up the pile of clothing and walks out of the bathroom. He doesn't make eye contact with me as he leaves.

I step out of the bathroom a moment later and see Peeta fiddling with the washer next to the linen closet. He's cleaning my clothes. I offer him a smile, but he still won't meet my eyes. Feelings of confusion and doubt fill my mind as I walk down the hallway and into his bedroom. Why did he pull away from me? This whole Gale thing must be scaring him off. He must not want me anymore. He's probably just trying to think of a polite way to let me down.

I refuse to hear bad news while I'm naked. So, I open two dresser drawers and search for a T-shirt to wear until my clothes are clean. I huff when I come up empty. I could've sworn he kept them over here somewhere. Peeta enters the bedroom and closes the door behind him.

"What are you looking for?"

"A T-shirt."

He crosses the room and opens the drawer beneath the one I had open. He pulls a navy blue shirt out and hands it to me.

"Here."

"Thank you," I say as I accept it.

Finally, he looks into my eyes. "Katniss, I'm sorry."

I look at him confused. "What for?"

"For touching you like that. You're feeling some kind of way. It was wrong of me to take advantage."

"So... You still want me?"

"What? Of course I want you."

"I just though maybe it was all too much for you."

"Oh, God, Katniss." His right hand weaves through my hair and his left hand finds my hip. "The things I will do to you," he kisses my lips and I sigh. "when you allow me."

I drop the T-shirt and snake my arms around his waist and I pull him closer to me. His skin is still damp from the shower, and the smell of him is intoxicating.

"Peeta," I whisper. He kisses me again. "I want to feel you."

I drag my fingertips up and feel every dip and groove of his muscles. His next kiss takes my breath away. I open my mouth for him and feel his tongue slide against mine.

"I'm trying," he says and he takes another taste of me. "I'm trying so hard to be good."

I grab his hand and pull it from my hip and bring it up to the upper hem of the towel around me.

"You've been so good. Gentle. Patient." I help him tug the towel and it falls to the ground. He pulls away from my lips and he looks at me. His eyes roam over my body and his mouth hangs open.

"Please, Peeta," I beg. "Take me."

He leans in and captures my lips again. He pours everything into kissing me as he slants his open mouth against mine. He coaxes my tongue into a slow dance with his. I sigh into him as his arms wrap around my waist and I allow him to pull me close.

I feel his hands slide up my sides. His fingertips dance across my breast and my nipple pebbles under his teasing touch. I feel him smile against my mouth. His kisses drift away from my lips and down my neck. I lean my head back, exposing my neck to him as he kisses and sucks at my sensitive skin with more pressure. His right hand moves to cover my left breast and I feel him squeeze. His kisses drift down my breastbone. I look down and grow wet at this sight of his head nestled between my breasts.

Peeta drags his tongue from my breastbone over to my left nipple. I gasp as he worries my sensitive flesh between his lips. My hands fly immediately to his head, where I grab two handfuls of his hair. His hands slide behind me, holding me firmly in place just below my shoulder blades. I feel his tongue drag over to my other breast and then his lips close around my peeked flesh.

"Yes," I breathe as I hook my left leg around his right calf and slide it down.

"Get on the bed," he commands.

Peeta's hands find my hips again and he pushes me to sit at the foot of the bed.

"Lay back," he continues.

I lean backwards until my shoulder blades hit the soft comforter on the bed. I keep my eyes on Peeta and I lift my head back up as I watch him kneel in front of me.

"I wanted to do this to you the moment I first saw you."

He grabs my ankles and places my feet onto his shoulders. His eyes finally leave mine and drop to my center. My folds are already slick with desire. Peeta stares.

I begin to get a little uncomfortable. Things haven't really looked the same down there since I had Rue.

"Peeta-"

"Shhh!"

I watch his face as he stares at me, but I'm unable to fully read his expression.

I gasp as he finally touches me. He drags his index finger up through my folds, collecting my wetness on his fingertip.

"You're so damn beautiful."

His touch lingers on my clit. Then I watch as he brings his finger to his lips and sucks my juices from it.

"And delicious."

I hold my breath as I watch him extend his tongue.

"Oh my god!"

I exhale and close my eyes as he takes a single tentative lick. He slowly drags the tip of his tongue through my folds.

"Does that feel good?" He knows damn well it does. But I'm suddenly speechless so I simply nod.

"Open your eyes, Katniss. I want you to watch." I comply, and he licks me again.

I keep my eyes on him as he uses his thumbs to spread me apart. Then he devours me.

He kisses my center, opening and closing his mouth. I can feel his soft lips and warm tongue caress me and I move my hips in small circles against him. He moans and the vibrations of his voice cause me to buck forward. His tongue dips inside of me and he smacks his lips. I feel myself grow wetter at the sound. He drags the flat of his tongue against me over and over and my knees grow weak.

"It feels amazing," I breathe.

I bring my right hand to my breast and play with my nipple. Pressure begins to build inside of me. Peeta shifts his attention to my clit and I buck my hips forward again. He applies perfect pressure with his tongue and I pull him closer. I grind hard against him as I shut my eyes and find my release.

"Ahh! Ahh! Peeta!" I cry out as I ride out my high.

"Shhh... We're not alone in the apartment," he reminds me he moves to hover over me.

I nod in understanding.

He removes the towel from around his waist and I reach out to feel his hardened flesh with my hand for the first time. I smile as I stroke him and he thrusts gently into my hand. He's bigger than I've had, but the skin is so velvety and smooth, that I can't wait to feel him inside me. Peeta's hands grasp the back of my thighs. He spreads my legs and my sex wide for him.

He braces himself with his hands on either side of my head. He stares into my eyes as I wrap my hand around him and guide him to my entrance. He slowly pushes himself through my folds and I feel a fire rise inside of me with every inch. I take three slow breaths before our hips are flush and he's buried himself to the hilt. I look at him with my eyes wide and my mouth agape. I'm stretched, full, and complete.

"You're so deep," I gasp through labored breaths.

Peeta leans down and kisses me. He opens his mouth, and completes our connection. I taste myself on him.

"I want to go deeper," he purrs as he begins to move.

My stomach muscles tense at the feeling of Peeta pulling out of me. Before I even have time to react, he slams all the way back into me. I arch my back as he hits a spot deep inside that causes me to shake with sensation.

So this is how a real man fucks.

His lips are parted and his tongue sticks out slightly at the corner of his mouth while he works. The muscles on his stomach contract as a layer of sweat begins to cover his body. He leans down and kisses me again. His mouth fused to mine keeps me from crying out as he fills me over and over. I rock my hips to meet his thrusts. I'm eager for each and every one.

"You feel so good," he says as he drives roughly into me.

Chills spread through my body as his thrusts become shorter and harder. He plunges into me again, hitting a particularly sensitive spot and the world around me disappears.

"Peeta!" I cry, as my climax washes over me.

"Shhh!" he says. But, he smiles at the sound of me screaming his name. My body is limp and sated. Peeta uses his right hand to hold my left leg down as he continues to thrust into me. His breathing becomes erratic and his strokes grow wild and soon I feel him pulse. He grunts and he nuzzles his head against my chest as he finds his release.

"Ungh! Katniss," he groans. He continues to move as he spills himself inside of me.

"Oh my god," I pant.

I reach up and wipe his hair, wet and heavy with his sweat, out of his face. He grabs my hand and kisses my fingertips one by one. Then he pulls out of me, severing our connection, and I whimper at the loss. He flops down on the bed next to me and adjusts himself before he rests mostly on his stomach.

"Was that all right?" he asks sleepily. His fingertips trace the curve of my hip.

"Yes," I assure him as I yawn.

"I don't want you to have any regrets in the morning."

"I won't."

"Good. Because there's something I want to tell you."

"What's that?"

"I'm falling in love with you," he says as sleep takes him over.

My eyes fly open and I'm suddenly very awake.

"What did you say?"

But only the sounds of him snoring lightly fill the room. I nudge him, but he doesn't stir. I slip out of Peeta's bed with as much grace as I can muster. I don't reckon it's necessary though. He sleeps like the dead.

I find the blue T-shirt from earlier and tiptoe out of the bedroom. My jeans are in the washer, and they're still wet, and so I look into the dryer and smile to find its full. I grab a pair of DJs sweat pants and stumble through the darkened apartment. I make my way out the door and I climb into my car. I put it in neutral and it rolls backward out of the parking lot. Once in the street, I turn on the engine and press my foot into the accelerator with conviction.

I drive without aim, my only destination away from myself. I feel heartless. I'm still married. My husband refuses to divorce me. And now a third man has told me he loves me while I'm still committed to this marriage. Here I am, once again with the smell of sex with a man that isn't my husband lingering on my skin. And I can't quite figure out how I feel about anything. All I know is feeling Peeta move inside me felt like home. I pull the neck of his T-shirt up and inhale him deeply. Christ, I'm a bitch.

I drive to a diner on Emmet, halfway between my house and Peeta's. It's probably the only place open at this hour where I can get a decent cup of coffee. Even if it's shitty, at least I can be alone with my thoughts.

I'm about to walk into the diner when I spot Gale through the window. I shrink down into a squat and shield my face with my hands. I whip my head back and forth then scurry between two parked cars like I'm hiding from the police. I press my back against the body of a black sedan and crane my neck up to peek over at the diner. Gale hasn't seen me. Safely hidden, I roll my eyes at myself.

I watch him. He brings a mug to his lips and cringes as he tastes what's inside. Guess the coffee is shitty after all. I almost feel bad for him. Alone, at diner at this hour. With two plates of food. Wait, what? There are two plates! Who is he with? My question is answered almost immediately when a tall busty blonde approaches his table. I don't have time to consider whether she's a business associate when she leans down and greets him with a kiss.

It's a beautiful, sweet moment. And I'm nothing but happy for Gale. He's dating, and that's wonderful.

That's also evidence.

I crawl on my hands and knees across the black asphalt of the parking lot and back into my car. I rifle through the glove compartment and find my old iphone. Its only up to 14%, but it will have to do. I make my way out of the car and take a few candid photos and even a video for posterity.

And so 15 minutes later, when I find myself at Prim's door, I'm ready to have that long overdue heart to heart. Prim isn't thrilled about the idea of losing sleep - Posy's never been a good sleeper and still gets up once or twice a night, plus tonight she had to deal with Rue too - but she humors my request. She pours me a glass of red wine, then adds in a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

"What's going on, Katniss? What are you wearing?"

"I slept with Peeta Mellark," I chug the wine, leaving only the ice cream and motion for her to pass me the bottle.

"The baker?"

I nod and snap impatiently at the wine bottle.

"Oh, Katniss. What about Gale? What happened to you?" She pours more wine over my melting ice cream and waits. In response, I slide my phone over to her.

"Where's your new phone?"

"Gale smashed it."

She frowns at that, but she doesn't press the issue. Yet. She picks the old iPhone off the table. Any hopes she had at reconciliation are gone when she presses play. 38 seconds later, after shes watched the clip of the blonde woman leaning over the table and shoving her tongue down Gale's throat, Prim's mouth hangs open.

"You two really are poison for each other," she says as she shakes her head at the screen.

"We're more like a suspension. Sure, we can blend well, seem like a true mixture, but well separate without-"

"It's a little late for a lecture," Prim interrupts.

I sigh heavily. "I think I'm falling in love with Peeta."

"Isn't that kind of fast?"

"We've been seeing each other for months," I explain.

"You have?"

I nod again.

She punches my arm. "Ow!"

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

"God damn it, Prim."

"Well? Why didn't you say something?"

"I wanted to. I tried to, but then I had to go help DJ with something."

"The day you supposedly went to CVS? I knew you were bullshittin me."

"I did go to CVS."

"Whatever. So, how does the baker feel about you?"

"The same. He told me tonight."

"And what did you do?"

"I waited until he fell asleep and then I ran away into the night."

"Of course you did," she rolls her eyes. "Does Gale know about him?"

"No."

"Shit, Katniss. It's kind of fucked up to have Rue around him if Gale doesn't know."

"Rue doesn't know either, though she's pushing for it. She really likes him. But, because of Gale, Peeta and I tried to be... discreet."

"Well, you ain't crossed any line yet...But you're tiptoeing."

"I know. Hence, the 2am talk," I smile.

"Does DJ know?"

"Yes."

"How does she feel about it?"

"She's accepting of it," I explain.

Prim is silent for a long minute.

"You're really playing with fire here, you know."

"I wouldn't have to if Gale would've just stop dragging out this divorce." My eyes drift away from hers. "I filed last week. Gale got served with papers today."

"Wow."

"I know."

"How'd he take it?"

"Not well." Understatement of the year.

"Well... I think you should be honest with Gale. Tell him about Peeta." I nod, she's right. "And establish some ground rules about Rue's exposure. Like not involving her until a relationship has reached a certain point. I hear it's better to come to agreements you can honor on your own. Makes custody battles less vicious."

I nod as I let her words sink in. I stare at the grooves of the wooden counter and I repeat the words to myself over and over.

"You should go back to Peeta," Prim's voice pulls me from my trance.

"What?"

"You're always running away. I'll keep Rue until dinnertime tomorrow, okay? You have things you need to handle, both tonight and in the morning."

I smile at her. "Thank you."

X

I pull back into the Mellark bakery parking lot and find Peeta sitting on the porch outside with his head in his hands. It's nearly four in the morning in November, and he's out here in his T-shirt and boxer briefs. When he hears my car approach, I see his head snap up. He's barefoot, but he quickly walks down the three steps off the building and into the parking lot. He pulls open the drivers side door as I unbuckle my seat belt. He pulls me out of the car and into his arms.

"Oh my god," he whispers as he holds me close. "I woke up and you were gone. I thought you left me...I thought you went back to him," he admits as he wraps his arms even tighter around me.

Oh. I berate myself for being so selfish. I didn't even think about what effect my leaving would have on Peeta. It's not even like he could call me.

Fucking Gale.

"No," I whisper. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave like that." But I did.

"It's okay."

"No. It's not."

" You came back."

He doesn't ask me why I left or where I went. He's just so relieved to have me back in his arms. I feel safe and protected. But not smothered.

"Can we go inside?"

"Of course," he replies. But he doesn't move.

"Peeta, it's cold out here."

"Right. Sorry. Come on."

I follow him into the house. He doesn't loosen his grip on my hand as he leads me up the stairs and back into the apartment. He locks the door behind me and assesses the deadbolt, like he's not sure if it's enough to keep me in.

I guess I'm to blame for his separation issues.

"I'll make us some hot chocolate, okay?"

I nod and I take a seat at the kitchen table. I watch him work, retrieving a pot and milk from the refrigerator, some powdered chocolate, cinnamon, and spoons. He doesnt take his eyes off of me any longer than he has to. In just a few minutes, he sits in the chair next to me and places a mug down in front of me. I wrap my hands around the mug, enjoying the warmth. I'm still shivering a bit from being outside.

"There's a bunch of hogs runnin'round with sticks in their mouths out there."

He chuckles. "Yeah, it's cold."

"Look," I extend my hand. "I'm still shivering."

"I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't mean to keep you outside like that. It's just... That's how she left."

"Who?"

"DJ's mother," he says quietly.

Oh, maybe I'm not to blame for his separation issues. I'm no less an asshole though. "Oh."

"We went to bed one night and when I woke up, she was already long gone. I haven't seen or heard from her since. DJ was only 18 months old."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You didn't leave me like that." I look away. I feel him stare at me. "Did you?"

"I guess I did," I admit.

I hear his breath deepen, but I can't bring myself to look into his eyes.

"You, um...I got a little scared. By what you said." I take a sip of the hot chocolate.

He sighs. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I know. It's just. I'm kind of a train wreck, Peeta, especially tonight. And then when we," I bite my lower lip thinking about how good he felt inside of me. "It was perfect," I whisper.

"Yes, it was," he agrees.

"After, when you told me that you-" I cut myself off. I put my mug down and stare into it as I speak. "I don't know if you meant what you said but it's-"

He covers his hand with mine, and I look to meet his eyes. "Of course I meant it."

"You did?"

"Yeah."

I smile. "I needed to clear my head, get out a bit. So that I could come back here and tell you...that I'm falling in love with you too."

Peeta leans over, spilling both hot chocolates, as he kisses me.

"Really?"

I smile against him. "Really."

He kisses me again, more heated this time, and I melt into him.

"Come back to bed," he whispers.

"All right."

He holds my hand tightly as he walks us back to his bedroom.

X

I wake up alone in Peeta's bed. I spread my hand out, feeling the empty space beside me. It's still warm.

I slide out of bed and tiptoe my way down the hallway. I pass DJ's room and the bathroom, and I cross the living room and enter the kitchen. I find Peeta on the floor, wiping up the hot chocolate he spilled last night.

"You're an early riser," I observe with a yawn.

"Actually, I never got back to sleep."

"Oh."

He stands and tosses the paper towels into the trash. I close my eyes as I stretch my arms over my head, and I yawn again. I open my eyes when I feel Peeta's arms around me. He pulls me closer and plants a small kiss on the tip of my nose, before pressing our bodies together in a passionate embrace.

"Mornin', baker."

"Mornin', professor."

"Mornin', daddy."

"DJ!"

"Hey there, baby girl," Peeta smiles. He extends an arm out to her and she walks over to us. She slides her hands around Peeta's middle and presses her cheek against him.

I look up and see Peeta smile, as he holds us both in his arms.

I feel DJ's hand comb through my hair once and she leans in a little closer to me and sniffs. Guess I used her shampoo last night.

"Katniss?" DJ says.

"Yes?"

"Thanks for coming back." I give her a confused look. "I heard y'all talking...and kissing out here last night when I went to the bathroom."

"What did I tell you about eavesdropping, Delilah?"

"Sorry, dad," she pulls away from us. Peeta tightens his arms round me again.

"That's getting to be a real problem. Get downstairs and start the daily prep. I'm going to take Katniss home." I look up at him with a frown.

"Yes, daddy."

"I drove," I remind him.

"I'd like to escort you home this morning."

I don't know where Gale slept last night. For all I know, he crashed in our house.

"All right."

DJ waves to me as she steps out the door. She shuts it quietly behind her.

"Also, I called my friend, Beetee. He's a locksmith. He's meeting us there in half an hour to put in a new deadbolt for you."

"Peeta you didn't have to-"

"Yes, I did."

"It's his house too," I say quietly.

"Katniss, it's not appropriate for him to have a key anymore. Especially after last night."

I nod against him as I look away.

"Don't worry. I'll keep you safe."

X

"She's having an affair."

I don't deny it this time.

But if that ain't the pot calling the kettle black, I don't know what is.

I spent the wee hours of the morning with Peeta. He escorted me to my house not 5 minutes before his friend, Beetee arrived. As the locks were changed, we cleaned up the mess in the kitchen. Peeta held me as the bad memories threatened to surface.

Gale has nothing nice to say about me today. Within minutes of our session with Dr. Aurelius, I've been called a trollop, a cheater, and he's accused me of making a cuckold out of him, whatever the hell that means. I let him jaw on. Each word only lengthens the rope he's about to hang himself with.

"She's fucking the bloody baker. And then she has me served bullshit divorce papers at the office!"

Dr. Aurelius is speechless for once. He purses his lips and then bites down on the end of his pen as he attempts to find the words to mediate between us. Gale sits on his side of the couch, staring at me through dark, angry eyes.

I calmly retrieve my old iPhone from my pocket, and I pull up the video of Gale and his mystery woman, I press play, and set it down on the table in between us. He looks over at the screen with a confused expression, but it quickly fades when he realizes what it is. He looks at me with wide eyes.

"Katniss... I-"

"Sign the papers, Gale." I toss a fresh copy of papers down onto the table. I yoke up my phone and stand. Then, I make my way towards the door. "And you owe me a new iPhone."


	7. I'm Trying To Keep It Alive

**Again with the praise. Thank you all so much.**

**I'm a little nervous to post this chapter. Lauralulubee read over three drafts of it for me (thank you!), because I wanted the last scene right. Before you read it, I just want to remind you all that this story is about becoming a blended family. And that means making room for everyone. It's complicated. There's no one correct way to make it work, but ultimately it can be a beautiful thing in which the children benefit the most.**

**I hope you enjoy it.**

**Don't forget to connect with me on tumblr. HazlenutMacchiato.**

* * *

_"I'm trying to keep it alive and not compromise the feeling we love. You're trying to keep it deprived."_

Gale didn't show up to brunch this morning.

It's hard for me to sort out my feelings for him. Especially when he's been such a dick about things. His disappearing act isn't helping any.

I took Rue to Sae's early. Peeta and DJ were still immersed in their chores. So I put Rue in an arena and let her practice some low jumps. Then, I gathered my equipment, and walked over to the clubhouse.

The skin of my inner thighs is raw. Both from the thorough fucking Peeta gave me on Friday night and from the polo scrimmage I'm currently playing. Both activities have been a endurance challenge.

I've got the number 1 position today. Sally did all she could to keep up with my voracity. But after three fouls against me in only the second chukka, it was pretty clear she was spent. I swing my leg over her and drop down to the ground. After galloping along at full speed for so long, it's always strange to feel the earth under your feet again. I don't have the chance to be awestruck long, when I hear yelling my way.

"What the fuck, Katniss?" Lavinia yells at me. "You trying to cause a pile up?"

What she's even doing near me, I can't register. She's playing number 4 today.

"Get back out there and quit bitchin," I yell back.

I'll apologize later. Maybe.

She's right, of course. I'm aggressive today, even for me. So I choose to finish the scrimmage with Defiance. After only a minute of play , I find him to be a better match for my mood, as his name would suggest.

The ball is in my line of sight as I lean to the right and hold my mallet behind me. I spot Sarah, that fox faced redhead who moves like the wind, next to me. I groan as Defiance leans right, slamming into Sarah's pony and crushing my right leg in the process. But damn if his tactic didn't work. I bring my mallet down and strike the ball with all my might.

Once I start scoring, no one seems to give me any more shit about my attitude. But, no one thanks me when we win the game either.

"It was just a scrimmage," Lavinia reminds me.

I exit the arena and dismount Defiance. I rest my mallet over my shoulder and I make my way back over to where Sally is resting. Peeta's there, cleaning out her shoes.

"That's pointless, you know," I say to him.

He drops her foot and pulls me close to him. I drop my mallet, ignoring the thud of it falling into the muddy ground. Peeta plants a wet open mouthed kiss on my lips.

"Mmmm," I moan. I'd kill for another taste of him.

"You looked determined out there. Wasn't sure if you were needing her again."

I unbuckle my helmet and smooth out the stray strands of hair from my face. "No, 4 chukkas is the game."

"Scrimmage," Lavinia corrects again as she passes by to collect her pony. Her eyes dart between Peeta and I.

"Goodbye, Lavinia," I say sternly. She laughs as she walks away.

"Teammate?" Peeta asks.

"Sometimes," I shrug. I bend over and pick up my mallet.

"Let me see that." I hand my mallet to him. "Hmm. I thought it'd be heavier for some reason."

"The ones that men use are. This ones a little longer and a lot lighter. I had it imported from Pakistan. It's made for the lady who likes to get dirty."

"I love it when you get dirty," he wiggles his eyebrows at me.

I roll my eyes but smile at him. "Where are the girls?"

"Sae took them out on one of the trails. It's getting colder and once the ground freezes, they won't be able to ride them."

I nod. "Help me get Sally situated then?"

"Of course."

As we walk back to Sally's stable, I realize I may have messed up my right knee a little. I stop twice to loosen my knee pads, but they're heavy and I don't feel like carrying them, so I leave them on. When we get back to the stable, Peeta loosens the girth from Sally's belly and passes me my polo saddle. I hang it on the wall next to my riding saddle.

"How many ponies do you go through in a game?"

"Depends on the pony. And the game. Sometimes two. Other times four."

Peeta leads Sally into her stall.

"But you only lease Sally."

"I can only afford Sally," I say. I look down at my worn mallet - this thing has a second birthday coming up. I frown at the thought that we'll soon have to cut back on things. Equestrian hobbies are expensive. It may not be feasible for me to continue to play polo once my divorce is final.

My divorce. The black cloud hanging over my head.

I sit down on a stool outside of Sally's stall and I finally remove my knee pads and half chaps from my right leg. My knee is a little swollen, but I'm not alarmed.

"So," Peeta begins. "How'd it go with Gale this morning?"

"He didn't show," I answer quickly.

Peeta shakes his head. "He's a fool."

He exits the stall and kneels in front of me. He extends my right leg and rests it across his knee.

"Here?" he asks as he massages my leg, trying to locate the source of my discomfort.

"Yes," I breathe. And then I moan."How did I go my whole life without your hands on me?"

His hands travel up my leg and he cups my sex over my jeans. "Oh, God," I sigh.

"How did I go my whole life without hearing the sounds you make?" He rubs me and I move my hips with his ministrations. "I can't wait to get you alone again." He leans in and kisses me once. And then he stands. He leaves me with drenched panties as he goes back to work fixing up Sally. I watch as Peeta brushes her. I really am amazed by how quickly he and DJ have gotten comfortable around these horses.

"Peeta," I say as I walk over to him. "We're alone right now."

I press my body against him and I curse the layers of clothing between us. I lift up onto my tiptoes and I press my lips to his. His hands grip my hips and he pulls me closer. I wrap my arms around his waist as I sigh into his mouth.

"Katniss," he says as he pulls away just far enough to study my face. I watch his eyes as they flit around and they drop to my mouth as I lick my lips. He claims me again. I wrap my arms around his neck as he deepens our kiss.

I hear giggling echo through the stall and I tear my lips away from Peeta and turn in time to see Rue and DJ hide behind the wall. I take my arms from around his neck and spin around.

"Girls," I say. "You come back here."

Peeta's hands wrap around my waist and he pulls me close, pressing my back to his chest. I turn my head and furrow my brow at him. But when he looks down and pulls my hips closer, I feel his hardness, and I understand. He hides behind me. He rests his head on my shoulder as he tries to calm himself down.

Rue and DJ step into view.

"Being a super spy ain't the same thing as eavesdropping."

"Sorry, mommy."

"Sorry Katniss. Daddy, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, baby girl." Peeta lifts his head. "What are you two doing over here anyway?"

"We got done riding and we wanted to come see you."

Rue's smile widens. "We saw y'all kissing! Told you she'd like it."

Peeta's head drops back down to my shoulder.

I take a deep breath. "Girls, go find Ms. Sae and see if she needs your help with anything."

"Yes, ma'am. Here, Rue. I'll give you a piggy back ride."

"Alright!" DJ bends down and Rue climbs onto her back. "Bye, mommy. Bye, Mr. Mellark!"

I spin around in his arms and tilt my chin up.

"Where we were?" I close my eyes, part my lips, and inhale, waiting for him to kiss me.

"Mr. Mellark? Did she just call me Mr. Mellark?"

I open my eyes."Uh-huh," I thread my dirty fingers through his hair and tug him closer. His lips meet mine for only a second before he pulls back.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he lies. His hands slide up and down my sides.

"Oh, I meant to ask you. Would it be all right if I collect DJ Tuesday after school?"

"What for?"

I shrug. "Girl time. Rue and I are getting our nails done, and I thought maybe DJ would like to-"

And then he kisses me. I feel him nod his head against my lips.

X

As if Monday mornings aren't terrible enough.

I count the circles on the carpet for an excruciatingly long 38 seconds, as Paylor watches the video of Gale and his mystery woman on her computer. Her lips are pressed into a tight line and she frowns with her head cocked to the side as the clip plays. Finally, she turns towards me and I shift in the stiff leather chair to meet her gaze.

"You've had an interesting weekend."

"Yes, I have."

"You're certain Mr. Hawthorne won't sign the papers?"

"He ripped up the first set I gave him. And I haven't seen him since I gave him the second set Saturday morning. I called twice and emailed him."

She pulls up the photo I took of my kitchen, torn paper, shattered glass, and broken electronics. And she turns her screen my way.

"I am sorry about this...reaction you had to deal with. A photo of a broken glass in a kitchen will do little to support a fault claim. So I advise we steer clear of allegations of abuse. That's a Pandora's box you don't want to open up anyway."

"I don't want a divorce based on fault. I just wanted to document why I changed the locks."

"Of course, Ms. Everdeen." She sighs as she presses her lips together again. "Even though you don't have any written separation agreement, it is possible to file for divorce without your husband's consent. You'll need to prove to a judge that you have been separated for over 12 months." She flips through my paper file. "Which you can."

"A judge? This will have to go to court?"

"In matters where one spouse refuses the divorce, yes. It can only be granted by a judge."

"Will Gale have to be there?"

"He can be, if he so chooses. It would be in his best interest."

"I see."

"We'll file a complaint on your behalf, and serve Mr. Hawthorne the appropriate paperwork. As plaintiff, you'll have to do everything according to law to cooperate."

I nod.

"This will take some time, you understand? It could take weeks to get a court date."

"Weeks?"

"Yes. You're lucky. In the city, it could take months."

"Let's get the ball rolling."

"All right, Ms. Everdeen."

X

I call out of work. I use one of my personal days to take some time to myself and process my thoughts.

I stop at Krispy Kreme and pick up 3 glazed donuts. I tell myself one is for Rue, but who am I kidding? She'll know nothing about these.

I return home, and fumble with my new key. I can't bear to even look at the kitchen as I make my way into the house. I climb the stairs and shed my clothes until I'm in only my underwear. Then, I crawl back into bed. I shovel a donut into my mouth and lick my sticky fingers clean before I pull the sheet up over my head. And I disappear from the world.

The old adage "if you love something, let it go," rings true. For all the love Gale claims to have for me, he isn't acting like it now when it means the most. Part of me wants to know more about this woman he's seeing. Another part just wants him to sign the damn papers already. Another part still wants to go back to the way things were years ago, when Gale and I were happy together.

But that part is quickly silenced by the part that loves Peeta.

Shit. Peeta.

I take out my old iPhone 4 and frown at how slow the thing is. It was dying when I upgraded and using it again seems to only enhance the frustration I feel with this divorce process. One step forward, two steps back. I shake my head and try to push down my feelings of self-pity. I type out a message to Peeta.

_Mornin, Baker. Not on campus today._

My phone buzzes almost immediately. He's texting in class. I wonder for a moment whether Professor Trinket will scold him.

_Everything alright?_

I sigh not quite sure how to begin.

_It will be. I just need some down time._

_Where are you?_

I thank him in my head for writing those words out and not using ridiculous shorthand.

_Resting at home._

_Want some company?_

"Ha!" I laugh. Then I hide under the sheet again. I wont be very good company. I'm kind of miserable. I mull it over for a few minutes before I type out a response.

_Misery loves company._

_See you soon._

I close my eyes as I roll over onto my back. I let the sheet cover me, fitting against the contours of my face and body, as I slip away.

The sound of the door bell pulls me back into consciousness. I rip the covers back and climb out of bed. I look out of the window to find Peeta's car in the driveway. I throw my robe over my shoulders and make my way down the stairs before I'm fully conscious.

I'm still rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I open the door.

"Afternoon, professor. I brought you lunch."

I rub my arms as the cool autumn air meets my exposed skin. I step aside and let Peeta into the house. "Thank you," I reply sleepily.

Peeta greets me with a kiss before stepping inside. "You just get up?"

"Mmhmm. I needed a break."

He nods but doesn't say anything else as he makes his way over to the dining room table. He puts the large paper bag on the table and begins to remove its contents.

"Turkey sandwiches today," he begins. "I made the ciabatta, myself."

"Sounds perfect." I say as I walk into the kitchen. "What would you like to drink? I made sweet tea."

"Yes, please." he calls from the dining area.

I move quickly, anxious to get out of this kitchen. I open the fridge and pull out the pitcher of tea and set it on the counter. I spin and take two steps towards the cupboards and-

"Ouch! Damn it!" I yell as I lift my right foot up.

"What's wrong?"

I look at the clear sliver sticking out of my toe. "I stepped on a piece of glass." I try to remove it with my fingernails. "God damn it! I can't get it out."

"Here, let me," Peeta says as he scoops me up in his arms before I even realize he's in the kitchen. He deposits me on a chair in the dining room. He examines my foot.

"Yeah, that's in there. Where do you keep your duct tape?"

"Duct tape?"

I think back to his linen closet. It must be a staple in his mind.

"Yeah. It works."

"I don't know. Maybe downstairs with Gale's things." Peeta's eyes flicker up to meet mine. Seems he didn't know Gale still keeps his belongings here. His gaze drops back down to my foot.

"Well how about some glue?"

"Ummm. Rue's got some in her desk," I point to the living room.

Peeta sets my foot to rest on another chair while he retrieves the white school glue from Rue's desk. He returns and lifts my foot. He sits on the chair and rests my foot in his lap. He opens the glue and squeezes out a large drop covering the glass splinter.

"Sorry, I guess I didn't get all the glass the other day."

I shake my head. "I meant to pass a vacuum over it. But... I'm having a hard time being in that kitchen." I say each word quieter than the last.

Peeta purses his lips before he speaks.

"Gale keeps his belongings here?" he leans down and blows gently on the wet glue.

"Yeah, some. In the basement."

Peeta nods. "Well, that may change soon."

"Probably not." I pinch the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just all gone to rack and ruin... I'll have to go to court to get a divorce without Gale's consent."

"Oh."

"It's just...overwhelming."

"Katniss, I wish you wouldn't let this affect you so much. You deserve to be happy."

I smile at him. "I'm happy when I'm with you."

His smile widens then he drops his gaze back to my foot. "It's dry now." Peeta peels the dried glue from my foot and along with it comes the glass splinter.

"There." He sets the glue and glass aside on a napkin and crumples it.

I inspect my foot. "You're a regular Florence Nightingale."

"No. Just a dad. Oh, almost forgot." He lifts my ankle to his mouth and kisses the top of my foot. I giggle at the gesture. He rests my foot across his lap. "The rest is just for show. The kiss, of course, is what makes it heal."

"Really?"

"Yes, ma'am." He rubs the calf of my leg. "I have it on good authority that my kisses make everything better."

I bite my lip and look away attempting to hide my smile. I feel two of Peeta's fingers on my chin as he turns my face to meet his gaze.

"Let me show you." His hand slides to the back of my head and he leans in to me. He licks his lips and then he presses his lips once to mine. He pulls away and raises his eyebrows expectedly. "How was that?"

I raise my flat hand, palm down and give it a shake. "Ehhh," I tease.

"Oh, really? You think you can do better?"

"Mmhmm," I purr as I lean forward and kiss him. I open my mouth and run my tongue across the seam of his lips. When they part for me, I pull away. I raise an eyebrow at him. "Well?"

"I'm just not sure, professor. That wasn't a whole lot to go on."

"So you need more, huh?"

His voice drops an octave before he speaks again. "Yes, ma'am."

I lean in and gently press my lips to his. I tease him with the tip of my tongue, sliding it across his top lip, only to pull back when he grants me access. I hear him groan in frustration. He doesn't break the kiss as his strong arms wrap around me and pull me fully into his lap. When he holds me tightly, I finally open my mouth and slide my tongue against his.

In that moment, Peeta takes control of the kiss. He sucks gently on my tongue and I inhale sharply as he releases it. He nips at my bottom lip and I pull away. I adjust myself in his lap, swinging one leg over him and I come to rest in a straddle. I kiss him again and I feel his hands slide down my sides and grip my hips. He lifts his hips as he pulls down on mine and I rock against him, grinding onto him.

I feel his hands squeeze my sides as though he's assessing my clothing. He pulls his lips from mine and he looks down. His brow is furrowed as he moves to the belt of my robe. He unites it and slowly opens it, revealing my scant clothing beneath: A mismatched bra and panty set. And nothing else.

"If I knew this was all you were wearing, I'd have jumped on you the moment I got here."

He drags his fingertips across my exposed stomach. He slides his hands around, into the robe, and grabs the flesh of my ass. He leans forward and plants kisses on my collarbone. I drop my head back and close my eyes.

"Mmm, Peeta," I moan.

I feel his tongue before his lips when he claims my mouth again. He tugs on the sleeves of my robe, and I shrug the garment off. I pull away and tug at the hem of his sweater. I lift it up over his head and I toss it onto the dining table beside us. I drag my fingertips from his shoulders down his chest as I grind down on him again.

"Fuck, Katniss," he whispers and I smile against his lips.

His right hand slides up my spine and I feel him search for the clasp of my bra. His thumb slides against my back underneath the strap. Before I have a chance to tell him the closure is in the front this time, his left hand moves to the space between my breasts and he locates it. I sigh as he releases my mounds from their confines. I remove the garment from my shoulders. Peeta covers my breasts with his hands and worships them one after the other. My right nipple grows cold without his lips and hardens as he covers it with his hand and squeezes. And when he switches back and forth, I puddle.

"You're making me so wet," I say.

"I want you dripping," he replies.

His hands find the backs of my thighs and he lifts me up as he stands. He deposits me on the edge of the dining table. My hands quickly move to the buckle of his belt and I fumble with the closure for a moment before I get it free. I quickly tug down the zipper of his jeans and I use my hands and feet to press them past his hips and down to his ankles. I palm his hardened flesh through his boxer briefs as he kicks his pants away. I look down and sneak a peek at his underwear, a dark green cotton. I use my index finger to trace the happy trail of dark blonde hair from his navel and when I reach the waistband of his boxer briefs, I waste no time tugging them down.

I lift my hips as I feel him pull at the waist of my panties. I part my knees and Peeta steps in between my legs. He kisses me, slowly and passionately, and I lean back onto the heels on my hands. He grabs ahold of himself and I moan as he teases my clit with the head of his hardened flesh. He pushes through my moistened folds with a low grunt and I wrap my legs around him.

"So fucking good," he says.

The feeling of being filled so completely by him spreads goosebumps across my skin. His hands are braced on the table on either side of me. I tear my lips away from his and look at his face as he begins to move. He thrusts into me gently and slowly as he looks into my eyes. It feels so good. But it's not what I want.

"Harder."

His eyes darken as he wraps an arm around my waist and scoots me closer to the edge. He snaps his hips forward and slams into me. He quickly finds a rhythm of hard measured strokes that let's me know he's as desperate for me as I am for him. His breathing becomes more labored and soon his lips part and I see his tongue peek out of the corner of his mouth.

I feel my orgasm build just watching him fuck.

"Yes," I pant. "Just like that."

Peeta is gentle and rough with me at the same time. His punishing strokes are complimented by his loving touch. He leans forward and presses kisses between my breasts as the sweat from his brow drips onto my skin. He fills me again and again as I move my hips with his. His thrusts become shallower and quicker. I hold my breath as I feel a familiar tension twist inside.

"I'm close," I warn as I close my eyes.

Peeta lifts his head from my chest. "Open your eyes. Look at me."

Yes, sir.

I do as he tells me and find him staring at me through dark and heavy lidded, lust-filled orbs. I can barely see the blue of his irises. My gaze drops to his mouth and the sight of his lips - wet and parted, with his pink tongue between sends me over the edge.

"Pa...Pah... Peeta!" I cry out.

My stomach muscles tighten and I fight the urge to close my eyes as my orgasm consumes every fiber of my being. Waves of pleasure hit me with his continued thrusts and I feel shivers down my spine with every one.

"Ungh... Ungh..." Peeta growls as he pulses inside of me. The feeling of his hot release helps me climb higher and my walls contract around him, milking him of every last drop.

"Katniss," he says over and over as he comes down. His hips jerk forward involuntarily with aftershocks. His brow knits together as he looks into my eyes. He opens and closes his mouth.

"I love you," I say. The words simply flew out of my mouth... And I'm filled with doubt for a moment.

A smile as big as I've ever seen spreads across Peeta's face. "I love you too," he echoes. "Thank you."

"For what?" I chuckle quietly.

"For loving me." He leans in and kisses me once. I smile. "For telling me." he kisses me again. "For being with me."

My smile fades and I look away. "I _want_ to be with you." But I'm not. Not really. Not yet. And I know Peeta's thoughts are in sync with mine.

I unwrap my legs from around him and he pulls out of me. The space between us grows and the emptiness inside of me becomes intolerable. I hop down off the table and I grab my robe from the back of the chair. I wrap it around my body and I turn to see Peeta. He's facing away from me as he pulls up his boxer briefs and then runs his fingers through his sweaty hair.

"I'm sorry." I speak so quietly, I'm not sure he can even hear. I watch the muscles of his back flex as he laughs silently to himself.

The silence stretches out forever. Finally he turns and offers me a small smile.

"Let's eat."

X

"That tickles!"

"Hold still, or it'll come out funny," DJ cautions. Though, she's having trouble holding back her laughter too. When one hand is successfully painted she holds it up for Rue to see. "Look! Comes out better than when you do it yourself. Especially the right hand."

I smile at them and turn my attention back to my pedicure. My left foot soaks in the hot water as the eucalyptus scented oils fill my senses. It's Tuesday, and I've still not been able to reach Gale.

The girls are here, and they're happy, and Peeta is at work. So, I allow myself to enjoy the moment of peace.

"So, he has a twelve year old?"

And just like that, the peace is gone.

"Shh, Jo. She's right there."

"Sorry. It's just, when you told me he had a daughter, I thought you meant like Rue's age."

"I know."

"How old is Blondie anyway?"

"He's 29."

"Christ, he had her young."

"Shut the hell up, Johanna."

"All right. I'm over it!" Her gaze drifts over to the girls. "She's really good with Rue."

"Yeah. She is."

"What's it like being with an older man?"

"He's only two years older." I think back to Gale's outburst on Halloween and Peeta's calm response followed by his walking away. "It's nice, actually. He's mature."

"Lucky girl... How's the sex?"

I blush at the memory of Peeta moving in me, his stomach muscles contracting, his breath heavy, his sweat dripping onto my skin. Jo notices and raises her eyebrows expectedly.

"He fucks with his tongue out," I say just above a whisper.

"Damn!"

I smile. "How's work treating you?"

"Its fine. Some lazy students but that's to be expected."

"Yeah," I agree.

" I just wish that Marvel would leave me the hell alone. He ain't even in my department but he's always around."

"He's persistent, that one."

"And married. To the queen of silicone. And with that brat of a daughter. Thank you, I'll pass."

We laugh together. My phone buzzes with a new text message. It's from Prim.

_Can't make it. Say hi to Jo for me._

"Prim says hi. She can't make it today though."

"Oh too bad. Next time then. Hey, what happened to your new phone?"

I roll my eyes. "Gale."

"What?"

"He got served divorce papers and came over all pissed."

"Mad? Or drunk?"

"Both, I think."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Then he snatched up my phone and read a text from Peeta. He kind of lost his shit. Threw my phone against the wall and tore up the papers." I shake my head.

"Holy shit, are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"What an asshole!"

"No, the asshole part is when I saw him making out with some bimbo later that night. For all he accuses me of, to catch him cheating makes me see red."

"So, when's the divorce final?"

"My lawyer says I have to give it time, and I'll have to go to court, but that I can put it through without his consent. Won't look good when we get to family court though."

"Right, Rue." I nod. "So, how does Rue like Peeta?"

"She likes him. She caught us kissing in the stables yesterday."

"Guess the cat's out of the bag."

"Yeah, it's time I had a real talk with her. It's difficult, you know. Six year olds perceive things in absolutes."

"Well, if there's something she should know..."

"Yeah, but, I mean ...it's still early with Peeta. And I don't know how permanent it is. But in her eyes, if I'm with him, then I'm with him."

"Do you think it's a permanent thing?"

DJ looks over to me holding up her freshly manicured fingers and flashes me Peeta's smile.

"I hope so."

X

"Katniss?"

"Yeah, DJ?"

"Why did Mr. Gale smash your phone just cus my dad texted you?"

Peeta's right. DJ's eavesdropping is a real problem.

"It hurt his feelings."

"Did you say sorry yet, mommy?"

"No, baby. I didn't."

"But, it wasn't very nice of him to break your phone."

"No. It wasn't."

"Why would he be upset that your boyfriend's texting you?"

I pull into the parking lot of the nearest store on the road. I turn to DJ.

"You do understand that I'm still married to Mr. Gale, don't you?"

"Yes ma'am. But aren't you getting a divorce?"

"Yes. Do you girls know what that means?"

"It means you and daddy won't live together any more. But that you both still love me very much," Rue explains.

"It means he won't be your husband anymore. It means you can marry someone else," DJ tells me. And I immediately see the difference between how she and Rue see things.

"You want to marry someone else?" Rue frowns as she tries to wrap her head around the concept.

"If you marry my dad, then you'll be my mom. And Rue and me will be sisters."

Aw, fuck.

"Really, DJ?" Rue beams.

"Uh-huh!"

"DJ it's not that simple."

DJ looks down. "Don't you want to be my mom?"

"I'd like that very much, sweetie."

"Then marry my dad."

"I might someday." I look directly into DJ's eyes. "But not today."

DJ looks out of the window as she nods.

"If you marry Mr. Mellark, does he become my new daddy?"

"Yes!" DJ says happily.

"But I already have a daddy. What happens to him?"

He gets thrown into a pit.

"He'll always be your daddy," I explain.

"Do I call Mr. Mellark 'daddy?'"

"Uh-huh!"

"DJ!" I shoot her a stern look. "Rue, you don't have to if you don't want to. Why don't you try calling him Peeta for now? I think he'd really like that."

"Peeta," she repeats. "All right, mommy."

X

"I don't get this," DJ complains. "It's too hard."

"All right, I'll be there in a second," I call from the kitchen.

I enter the living room with a bowl full of Back to Nature brand graham crackers. I set them on the coffee table between Rue and DJ.

"I'm listening."

"I can't figure out what percent of 70 40 is."

I sit on the floor next to her. "Okay. To start, you divide...?"

"70 by 40?"

"40 by 70," I correct her.

"That's where I keep messing up. Then I multiply that by 100, right?"

"Right."

"I think I get it."

The doorbell rings followed by a knock at the door.

"Just try a few more," I say as I push myself up. "There's your dad."

I open the door and find Peeta smiling on the other side.

"Come here, woman." He grabs my hip with his strong hand and pulls me close. He kisses me once on the lips and my knees weaken.

"Evening ladies," he says as he steps inside. He's careful to lock the deadbolt behind him.

"Hey, dad!" DJ says, not looking up for her homework.

"Hi Peeta!" Rue beams, she smiles at his, then goes back to her assignment.

Peeta looks at me with a confused expression on his face. "Peeta?" he says quietly to me.

"We all had a talk...You and I should probably talk about it soon."

He smiles as he hugs me again. "What are you women up to?"

"Work," DJ says flatly.

"I won't disturb you then."

"We'll eat once they're done with their homework, okay?"

"You cooked?" Peeta must be surprised I set foot in the kitchen. And truthfully it wasn't easy. But, I have to feed children.

"You're not the only one with skills around here."

"Mommy made macaroni and cheese!"

"Did you?"

I nod. "And baked chicken and veggies"

"Sounds perfect."

I take his hand and lead him over to the couch. He takes a seat and I hop on the couch next to him, and extend my feet into his lap.

"You all right?"

"Yeah. That Abbott woman came in today and ordered the cake for her daughter's party."

"Oh right, that's soon isn't it?"

"The 30th."

"After the holiday at least."

"Yeah, I know, it's just... She's got to be the most odious woman I've ever met."

I smile at that. I know exactly what he means.

I pull an old biology journal out from the cushion and settle further into the couch.

"You keep literature stashed in your cushions?" he teases.

"You don't?"

He laughs at me. "What are you reading?"

"Just an old article."

"About what?"

I look up from my journal. "Using Pyrosequencing to identify microbes."

I see confusion flood his face, but he attempts to keep up. "Pyro... So what using fire?"

"No. Fire kills. Pyrosequencing is a way to find out the order of nucleotides in DNA."

"Nucleotides..."

"Yeah, they emit light when they're sequenced right."

Peeta nods, but he's clearly confused. "Think of it like a lite brite. When you get the right order of things, they light up."

He nods again. Gale never did understand these things either. His eyes would glaze over if I tried to talk to him about anything scientific. But Peeta's here, trying to make head or tails of my words. And I think he's adorable for trying. A smile spreads wide across my face.

"You're really listening to me, aren't you?"

"Of course I am, Professor."

I smile at him. Then, I reach down and produce a copy of 1984 from betwix the cushions next. He raises his eyebrows.

"I knew you were coming over," I say as I hand him the book.

So, the four of us sit in comfortable silence. Peeta occasionally squeezes my feet as we flip through our reading material and wait for our girls to finish their homework.

X

I'm relieved when Friday night comes around. After I drop Rue off at Prim's, I've got an hour to kill before Peeta picks me up for dinner.

I take an excruciatingly hot shower, then dress temporarily in a tank and short pajama set and wrap my short robe around me. I curl up in my favorite armchair beside the window. I've downed 2 glasses of wine when Peeta FaceTimes me. I'm happy to hear from him. I smile, look at his handsome face on the screen of my phone, and bring my thumb up to answer.

"Hey, baker."

"Hello professor. I miss you."

"Miss you too. You almost done?"

He flips the view of the camera and shows me the cake he's been working on. A four tier purple wedding cake.

"Very nice," I comment

"Thank you." he flips the camera back and I smile when his face comes back into view. "Should be done in another 15 minutes, okay?"

"Mmhmm."

There's a sudden knock at the door. Moving the curtain back I can see Gale's car in the driveway. My stomach twists into knots.

"Oh shit."

"What is it?"

"Gale's here."

I see Peeta's expression harden. "Did he let you know he was stopping by?"

"No. He's just here. I haven't spoken to him since Saturday."

Peeta sighs. "I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Peeta-"

Peeta ends the call before I have a chance to object.

I open and close my hands, as I debate letting Gale stand out there. I walk into the kitchen and pour myself another glass of wine. I take a sip, and then I walk over to the door.

Gale knocks again.

I take another sip of my wine as I tap my foot and wonder how long it will take him to give up and leave.

"I know you're there, Katniss."

Damn it.

"I can hear you tapping your foot."

I open the door and meet his eyes.

"You had the locks changed," he says holding his old keys out in his hand. I don't acknowledge his observations.

"Did you need something?" I ask, nodding my head towards the basement.

Gale leans against the doorway and reaches his hand out towards me. I furrow my brow as I watch his hand move closer. His fingers wind around the stem of my wine glass and he removes it from my grasp. He downs the contents quickly. "More of this," he says, raising the now empty glass to me. "Cheers."

It's then that I get a good look at him. The jacket from his suit is slung over his shoulder, and his tie hangs loose around his neck. His dark hair is disheveled and he looks...kind of sad.

"Everything all right?"

"Yes. No." He shakes his head. "I had a bad day."

"Oh."

"I just needed to see you." I shift my weight from foot to foot, obviously uncomfortable with his admission. "Can we talk inside please?" I stare at him. "It's cold out here, Katniss. May I please come inside?"

I exhale as I step aside and let him enter the house. I close the door behind him and keep it unlocked. Gale walks across the foyer and into the living room. He sits on the couch.

"What do you want to talk about?" I ask as I walk into the kitchen and pour some more wine. Gale doesn't answer me. He barely managaes a "Thank you" when I hand him the full glass. I walk around the living room and take a seat in the armchair. This is where I sat when I first told Gale I wanted a divorce. From here I can also see out the window and into the driveway. I'm counting the seconds until Peeta arrives.

"Well?"

He looks up at me, but he doesn't speak. I pick my feet up and get more comfortable.

"You were right," he says.

"Yes, I was." I stare into my glass as I swirl the liquid around. "About what?"

"About my job. I worked 70, 80 hour weeks for 7 years," Gale continues."I haven't been to Rue's birthday party since she was 4."

3.

"I missed our anniversary twice."

4 times. 5 if you count today.

"I pushed you away... let another man into our bed."

With that I let my eyes drift up. "It was all for nothing. I'm sorry, Katniss."

"What's all this about?"

"I was working around the clock. We had a client who-" I drop my head and pull a magazine out from the chair cushion. I've no interest in his shoptalk. Gale stops speaking when he sees he's lost me.

He clears his throat and tries again. "A few weeks ago, I met someone. It was the night I stayed here."

The night I turned down his sexual advances.

"You didn't want me. And Madge was so... it felt good to be wanted. But, I drove her away too. It wasn't serious or anything. We were just shagging. I am a married man." I roll my eyes. "But, she had a lot of the same complaints you did about my working too much." I raise my eyebrows once, and flip the page of my magazine. I'm mostly looking at ads. Gale's talking too damn much for me to attempt to actually read an article.

"I was being groomed for a promotion. It was between me and Thom of all people." He laughs, and I push away the memories of my night with Thom. "I've been working so hard. I've given up so much. And... Not only did Snow give the promotion to Thom, but then he eliminated my position in turn." He has my attention again. "He gave me a fucking severance package then had me escorted me off site like a bloody criminal."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I say.

"No. I'm sorry. You tried to warn me. I see that now. You always said you wouldn't read my resume at my eulogy," he laughs. "I'm sorry I didn't listen."

Gale stands and walks over to my chair and I tense. He lowers himself to his knees, putting himself at eye level with me.

"Catnip, I should've put you first. I'm so sorry I didn't. Will you forgive me?"

He brings his hand up and he slides his hand through my hair. He leans in to kiss me. And I let him.

I've waited so long to hear these words from his mouth that for a moment I forget how late they've come. I let him kiss me, let him slide his tongue along my bottom lip, let him taste me. I allow myself to get lost in the moment, lost in him. In my husband, the father of my child. The man I loved for so long.

The taste of merlot fades from his lips and I begin to detect the muted flavor of coffee. Peeta never tastes like coffee. I've only even seen him drink it once. In that instant I'm brought back from my past. Gale isn't the man I'm in love with anymore. I pull away, longing for the delicious taste of cinnamon buns and moonshine. I look to Gale and meet his hopeful eyes. I put my hand up to his chest and push him back so he's at arms length.

"I forgive you, Gale. But, this," I gesture between us, "Its not us anymore. I'm seeing someone else."

"We've both had our affairs, love."

"This is not an affair."

Gale pushes himself to his feet. "But we're married, Katniss."

"I don't want to be married to you anymore. Why won't you just divorce me? I've given you two sets of papers. What game are you playing with me?" I'm trying to keep my voice calm but I only seem to manage a quiet panic.

"I just. I can't lose you."

"You already lost me."

I see headlights appear in the driveway and turn my head to see Peeta pulling in. I sigh in relief.

Gale nods as he stands back up. He laughs quietly to himself. He crosses the living room, and goes back over to the couch. He pulls an envelope from his breast pocket and then walks back over to me. He kneels down again and extends the envelope to me. I slowly reach out and accept it. I open it and inside I find divorce papers. These aren't the ones Paylor sent over. But, these are signed.

"I had my lawyer draw these up. We won't have to sell the house this way. I want you to keep it."

I look up at him and I feel my heart swell in my chest.

"Katniss, I love you. I'm not giving up on us. I know I messed up, but I'll make it up to you. And if this is what you want right now, if this is what will make you happy. Then I'll do it."

I feel the tears well up in my eyes and stream down my face. I push myself off the chair and I propel myself into his arms.

"Thank you. Thank you," I repeat over and over.

He tightens his arms around me and kisses the side of my head. "Happy Anniversay, baby."

I hold him tighter.

Peeta clears his throat from the foyer, and he closes the door loudly behind him. It's then that I realize that this might not look good. Gale and I are both on our knees hugging each other tightly.

But, I glance over my shoulder at Peeta and smile widely anyway. He furrows his brow at me in return.

I pull away from Gale and stand up. I'm still clutching the divorce papers tightly as Peeta and I walk towards each other. I wrap my arms around him and bury my head in his chest. He hesitates for a moment, but then wraps his arms around me.

"Mellark." I hear Gale greet him.

"Hawthorne," Peeta replies in a voice so deep the vibrations tickle me.

"I was just leaving." Gale turns to me. "I'll be at the cafe Sunday morning, if you and Rue care to join me for brunch."

I nod once.

Peeta keeps his eyes trained on Gale as he collects his belongings off the couch and crosses the living room. I can't help but hug Peeta tighter.

Gale crosses towards the living room and he exits the front door. "Tosser," he mutters as the door closes behind him.

Peeta looks down at me and smiles.

"You told him?"

I nod as I return the smile. He leans down and kisses me. He presses our lips together and opens his mouth. His tongue slides into me... and then he quickly pulls away. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as he takes a step backwards. His gaze drops to my mouth and he stares in disbelief.

"You don't taste like you."

I bring my fingers to my lips. "It was just a kiss g-"

"You kissed him!?" he takes another step back and he turns away from me. He walks into the kitchen and places his hands on the counter. And I swear I can hear his heart break in two. I think back to last Saturday morning. Peeta kneeled down in this same kitchen and helped me clean up the debris of my failed marriage - broken electronics, shards of glass, and unsigned and ripped up divorce papers. Then, he held my head in his lap while I cried.

And now he's tasting Gale on my lips.

"Peeta, it didn't-"

"It didn't what? It didn't mean anything?"

"It did mean something."

I walk over to him and put my hand on his shoulder. He doesn't turn to meet my eyes.

"Peeta, please," I plead. I place the signed papers on the counter. "He let me go," I whisper.

Peeta runs his hands through his hair before turning to look at the papers. I slide them across the counter until they're in front of him. He places a hand on the corner of the papers and I watch his eyes dart back and forth as he reads. I still have to have Paylor look these over before I sign them. And we'll still have to settle Rue's custody. But, these papers are a step in the right direction.

"It was a kiss goodbye. I promise that's what it was."

Peeta faces me finally and I press my body against his. I wrap my arms around him. He brings his hand up to cup my face and his eyes drift to my lips.

"He knows you have my heart now."

Peeta purses his lips and his brow knits together as he exhales. He leans in ever so slightly then pulls back. He shakes his head once. My bottom lip quivers as I sense the battle he's having with himself. But finally, he leans down and kisses me. I know he can still taste Gale on me. But when he slides his tongue in between my lips again, I know he accepts this. That Gale is part of the package too. Though, exactly what part he plays remains to be determined.

"I love you, Katniss. Are you really mine?" he asks. He doesn't wait for me to answer before his tongue plunges into me again.

I pull away and look deeply into his eyes. "I'm yours."


	8. A World on Two Different Axels

**Oh, my! I'm so glad you're still with me. Forgive my delay in updating this story and Rerun...and First Run...and Unangan. I'm not abandoning anything. I participated in the latest round of Prompts in Panem. Check out my story, _A Grown Woman, Not a Girl_ if you have time.**

**I was sure y'all would be pissed off about the Gale kiss. But from your reviews, comments, and private messages, I've learned so much about you. Thank you for sharing your stories with me. I look forward to reading more. I can only hope I continue to do the story content justice for you...though I'm sure you'll let me know if something is off.**

**And omg there are 200 of you subscribed now!**

**Thanks again lauralulubee for beta'ing, reading my chicken scratch ideas piecemeal and helping me develop this chapter into something coherent. And do read her ****fic _The Heart Keeper_, when you get the chance.**

**I like to think of this chapter transitional. Not too much drama - there's some coming soon though! I hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

_"We live in a world. We live in a world on two different axels."_

I wake up in Peeta's bed early on Saturday morning, and he's already gone. For someone with a fear of being left in his sleep, he sure doesn't seem to mind doing it to me. I slide my hand along the empty space next to me. It's cold.

I miss him. I think back to last night. To when Gale finally gave me a signed set of divorce papers. Peeta didn't ask why Gale changed his mind. I don't think he cares. He was just so relieved to see those papers, he bent me over my kitchen counter and fucked me until I could barely stand. And that was only the beginning. He could hardly wait to get me into this room before he was tearing my clothes off and doing sinful things to my body again. I look around the room at the evidence of it - Clothing and blankets strewn everywhere and chairs turned on their sides. I close my eyes and I can

him in my mind's eye, looking at me through fat pupils filled with lust. I bring the sheet up to my nose. I can smell him, ivory soap and musk. My hand drifts from my breast and down my body. I'm only wearing one of Peeta's T-shirts. I pull it up by the hem and my hand slips down.

I touch myself. I let the smell of Peeta and the memory of his strong hands fuel my desire. I rub myself with the pads of my fingers and then I draw circles against my clit.

"Mmmm, Peeta," I moan.

I remember the feel of his stomach muscles contracting under my fingertips. I mimic the rhythm of his stroke as I dip my fingers into my center. I move my hips in time with my thrusts. God I wish he were here.

"Good morning."

I open my eyes and smile to find Peeta staring at me.

"Good morning."

"What are you doing?"

I thought it was pretty obvious.

"I was just thinking about you," I say quietly. I continue to move my fingers in and out.

He quickly steps into the room, looking behind him as he shuts the door. He places a small plate on top of the dresser.

"I was coming to check if you were hungry."

"I'm hungry for you," I say, surprising myself.

"Fuck, Katniss." He leans over the bed and grabs ahold of my ankles. He pulls me towards the edge and I prop myself up on my free elbow. I let my knees fall open, giving him a perfect view of what I'm doing. I watch his eyes drift from mine and wander down my body. He licks his lips as I press my fingers into my center again, and slowly pull them out.

"I'm so wet for you."

Peeta's eyes stay glued to my fingers. "I have bread baking downstairs."

I close my eyes and drop my head back. "You should probably go then."

He slides his hands from my ankles up the length of my legs. When he reaches my inner thighs he presses down, holding me open. I feel myself grow wetter with his strong hands on me.

"Is this what you do when you think about me?"

I nod. "Every time."

His hands squeeze my thighs and I moan.

"Tell me about it."

"I think about how you taste. I think about how big and thick you are. How it feels when you move in me. "

He leans down and his mouth crashes into mine. His tongue slips between my lips and the fresh taste of cinnamon buns on him only intensifies my desire.

"I want to watch you," he says. "I want watch you cum thinking of me."

He pulls away from me and he stands up, removing his hands from my thighs. I offer him a smile and then I close my eyes. I begin to move quicker, fingering myself faster.

"Peeta," I moan. I hear his breath become heavy, and I'm so turned on by the sound, I know this won't last long. I pump my fingers even faster. I feel the friction change as I gush onto my hand. I bite my lower lip and buck my hips forward as I fall over the edge.

"Yes!" I sigh as I come back to earth.

"That was beautiful," Peeta says.

I open my eyes as I continue to breathe heavily. "It's better when you do it."

I withdraw my hand. Peeta grabs ahold of my wrist and guides my fingers into his mouth. He moans as he sucks my desire from my fingertips.

"You taste good."

I sit up and my fingers quickly find his waistband.

"So do you," I say as I tug his pants down over his hips. He's already hard from watching me touch myself. I admire his perfect specimen for a moment as I stroke him. I wrap my hand around him and quickly slide down to the base. I slide up slower, noticing how the change in rhythm affects him. Then I lean forward and I take him in my mouth.

I start slowly, teasing him with the tip of my tongue and looking up at him. He keeps his eyes on mine as I take him in as far as I can manage and pull back, stroking the underside of his length with my tongue. "Mmmm," I hum.

Peeta's hips begin to move as he thrusts ever so gently into my mouth. He collects my hair in his right hand, keeping it out of the way while I work. I suck him harder, hollowing my cheeks, and using lots of spit. I open my jaw wider, encouraging him to go harder, deeper, whatever he wants. He understands.

I relax my throat as Peeta's thrusts grow deeper, but he's still gentle with me. I keep my hand on him, trying to control how much of him I take in. I feel his balls tighten and move closer to his body. The head of his cock swells in my mouth.

"I'm close," he warns.

I look up at him. "Mmhmm," I reply. His eyes snap shut with the vibrations of my voice.

"Ungh..." he groans quietly as he pulls me close and holds my head in place with both hands. My eyes widen as the tip of him hits the back of my throat as his hot release spills into me. I have no choice but to swallow. I don't mind.

Peeta pulls away suddenly, and I gasp for breath.

"Fuck, fuck. I got carried away. I'm sorry." He looks down at me through guilt filled eyes.

"Don't be." I take a deep breath. "I wanted to do that for you."

He smiles as he pulls his pants up from around his ankles. "I've never had that done for me before."

I wonder for a moment how many women the baker has been with. I know DJ's mother was his first. And obviously, there's me. But there's a ten year gap between the two, during which I know he dated. I push the thoughts away.

"I could do that all day. You taste good. Sweet." I smack my lips.

He pushes me back onto the bed and covers my body with his. He leans down and slants his mouth against mine. His tongue plunges into me and I gasp.

"What are you doing?" I murmur against him.

"I'm making love to you." He pulls the T-shirt up and kisses my breasts.

"Mmmm...Peeta, stop. You'll burn your bread," I caution.

He stills. "Damn it...we're not done here." He points a finger at me.

He stands up and gestures again to the plate he brought me before he leaves. "Breakfast." He shuts the bedroom door behind him.

I drop my head back and sigh. For the first time on a Saturday morning in over a year, I don't have marriage counseling. I slip on a pair of Peeta's boxer shorts, grab the plate and make my way into the living room. I sit down on the couch a take a bite of the cinnamon bun he brought me. I lean back and feel something poking me. I stick my hand into the cushion and retrieve a food and wine magazine. I laugh quietly to myself.

"Morning, Katniss."

Oh, damn, I thought she was downstairs already. Otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here wearing only her father's clothes. "Morning, DJ. About to go downstairs?"

"Yes, ma'am. I gotta earn my keep."

"I'm sure you do just fine."

She flops down on the couch next to me. "Can I ask you for a favor?"

"Sure, sweetie. What is it?"

She looks over to the front door briefly before she speaks. "There's this play at school. Man of La Mancha. Have you heard of it?"

I nod. "Yes, I'm familiar."

"Well... I tried out at the beginning of the school year and they offered me a part. That's where I've been spending my Friday nights. Rehearsing."

"That great news. Congratulations. Your dad didn't tell me."

"Well, he don't exactly know yet."

"Why not?"

"Um, well. It's a new play for my school and nothing's made for it yet. The sets and costumes all have to be made. At yesterday's rehearsal, all of the girls decided to get their mothers together to make the costumes. You can sew, right? You made Rue's Halloween costume. "

"I can."

"Could you... Would it be alright if...would you-"

"I'd love to help you out."

"Really?"

"Sure, sweetie."

"Thank you!" She throws herself into my arms. "Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me."

"You're welcome."

"Maybe now they'll stop teasing me."

I pull away and search her face. "Who's teasing you? About what?"

"No one. Nothing." She stands up.

"Delilah," I point to the cushion she was just occupying. She sits back down. "What is it?"

"It's just these two girls. They say mean things to me about not having a mom. Like 'DJ, why'd you make your mother leave?' or 'DJ maybe if you didn't eat so many cookies, your mother wouldn't have left.'" She looks down at her body. "Maybe I have gotten bigger."

I look at the beautiful girl in front of me and wonder how she could possibly let anyone make her question her beauty. Then I remember how fucked up girls can be.

"Sweetie, those are boobs. If you're lucky, they'll get even bigger still." She smiles at me. "But don't tell your dad. He doesn't know you have those yet." She chuckles lightly. I make a mental note to take her to be properly fitted for a bra. Peeta can't have done her justice in that department when he's in denial about their existence.

"You know none of what those hens say to you is true, right?"

"No."

I open my mouth to tell her she's wrong, but I realize anything I say will be a lie. I don't know why her mother left.

"Your dad loves you very much."

"I know. But my mother doesn't."

"Well that's her loss."

She wraps her arms around me and she gives me a hug, this time burying her face in my shoulder. I'm self conscious about having her father's scent on me, but I hug her back.

"You should tell your dad about the play."

"I will. Don't say anything, alright?"

"Alright."

X

I half-expect there to be a catch.

I take a deep breath. There are 438 circles on the rug. Paylor's eyes drift up from the papers she's holding in her hand.

"He's giving you the house."

I nod. "That's what he said." I straighten my back. "What's the catch?"

Paylor smiles at me. "There doesn't appear to be one. He'll retain ownership of his vehicle as well as the vacation home in Virginia Beach and his properties in England. You will retain ownership of the Charlottesville house as well as your vehicle."

"Really?"

"Really. It all looks good. You can sign it whenever you're ready."

"I'm ready," I say as I grab a pen from her desk. She hands me the papers and I happily sign them.

Katniss Everdeen.

And suddenly I can breathe again.

She takes the papers and nods. Then she offers me a hand to shake. "Congratulations, Mr. Everdeen. We'll file these right away."

"Thank you."

"As for your custody case, I'll be in touch regarding your court date."

"All right. I'll look forward to it."

"I would advise you to continue your counseling sessions."

"Why?"

"You've been seeing a family counselor. His continued assessment of your relationship would be prudent. Judges look upon that favorably."

"Oh."

"Do you not think Mr. Hawthorne will go?"

"I'm not certain."

"Well, it isn't mandatory. Just, think about it."

"Thank you."

For the first time, I exit her office with a smile. I can't wait to have lunch with Peeta.

X

I sit in the too-small red chair as I wait for the meeting to begin. I look over at Prim. She's shifting uncomfortably in Posy's chair.

"Do they really expect us to sit in these through the whole conference?" she complains.

I laugh quietly. I know they do. Glimmer Abbott stands proudly at the front of the room.

"Welcome, parents. How does it feel to sit in your child's place for a change?" she giggles. I fantasize about a swarm of wasps stinging her to death.

"Well, let's begin. We've got a lot to discuss today."

The children don't have classes today. The parent conference is scheduled in place of regular classes. It's a chance for us to see the classroom, speak with the teachers and other parents. I find them to be quite helpful.

"So, first order of business is-"

The classroom door flies open and Gale steps inside. I sit up straight and frown in complete confusion. I look over at Prim. She's wearing a similar expression.

"Forgive my tardiness," he says as he steps into the classroom.

Glimmer smiles. "Mr. Hawthorne? Great day, it's a pleasure. Please join us. There's an empty seat next to your wife."

I feel like I just got punched in the gut, but I don't correct her. No need for everyone to know we just got divorced. I only delivered the papers to my lawyer on Monday, so it's not even a matter of public record yet.

Gale walks towards us. He greets Prim first, with a kiss on the cheek and then moves over to me. I can't refuse it, though I'd prefer to put some physical distance between us, at least for a while. His hand lingers on my face a second longer than it should for a divorced couple, but not nearly long enough for a happily married one. I feel the cool metal of his wedding ring slide across my skin and I jerk away. Why is he still wearing that? I turn my face back towards Glimmer, and pretend to listen to her bullshit speech. I zone out, trying to figure out what the hell Gale is doing here.

"...just like the Hawthornes."

That brought me back.

" Mr. Hawthorne, will you please tell us how the Christmas fair plans are coming along?"

Yes, Gale. Please. Tell us that which you know nothing about.

Gale smiles - not my favorite smile that shows his dimples, but the one that usually gets him his way. I roll my eyes as I watch Glimmer fall victim to his charms. "Mrs. Abbot, are you trying to get me into trouble? Katniss and Primrose are the heads of that operation."

There's a quiet laughter that echoes through the classroom.

"Of course. But it's nice to see a father become so involved."

Somebody fucking shoot me.

I can't take it anymore. I step out of the classroom and into the hallway. I lean against the tiny lockers and open and close my hands.

"Katniss," Gale says behind me.

I turn around. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking on you."

"No. I mean here. At Rue's school."

"You've been telling me about this meeting for weeks. I thought you wanted me to come."

I nod. I did. I'm honesty just surprised he heard me.

"I'm just...confused," I say as I look away.

I don't see his hand move. And I forget how quick he can be. It's not until he's smoothed the hair back from my face that my head snaps back up. I reach up and grab his wrist.

"Don't do that."

The classroom door opens and Glimmer Abbot steps outside. Her eyes quickly find mine and she smiles.

"Sorry to interrupt."

I drop Gale's hand and take a step back from him.

"You're not interrupting anything."

"Well, we're just about to go over those Christmas plans. We could use you." Her eyes drift over to Gale. "If you're willing to give her up, that is."

"He already has," I say as I raise an eyebrow at him. I walk back into the classroom, leaving them both in the hallway.

X

On Friday night, I drive myself to Peeta's bakery. We're overdue for some fun so tonight, I've planned our date. I plan to take him bowling.

The bell dinging announces my arrival. I step inside and find Peeta sitting on a stool behind the counter. He's on the phone, but he smiles widely when he sees me.

"Congrats. That's great news, man." Peeta gestures for me to come closer.

"I'm sure she's excited... yeah... yeah, just let me know."

I reach the counter and Peeta's arm wraps around my waist. He pulls me to stand between his legs and he kisses my neck.

"Actually, yeah, I am... Well, she's 5'7", with grey eyes, dark hair, a beautiful smile..." Peeta strokes my hair with his free hand as he looks into my eyes. "Yeah, she's real... She's right here, actually... Sure." Peeta pulls the phone away from his ear and covers it. "My friend Finn says 'hi.' He just got engaged."

I smile and nod. "Hi and congrats."

He leans forward and kisses my lips once. "I'll wrap it up."

I unbutton my jacket then hop onto the counter. I wave my hand dismissively "Take your time."

He smiles at me as he brings the phone back to his ear. "Listen man, I have a beautiful woman here waiting on me. And so do you." He stands and steps between my legs. His thumb strokes the back of my hand. "Let me know your travel dates soon, okay?... I miss you too, buddy...Bye."

He hangs up the phone and sets it down on the counter next to me.

"Sorry about that."

He knows how weird I am about someone being on the phone when they're with me.

"It's fine."

He leans forward, kisses my lips, and greets me properly. Our mouths move together and I immediately feel relieved. He pulls away, leaving me breathless.

"Hello, Professor."

I smile. "Baker."

His hands find my sides and he kisses me again. I bring my hands up and tug gently on his hair, pulling him closer as our kiss deepens. I haven't touched him since Tuesday. I realize how much I missed the sugary taste of him, the feeling of his hands on me, and the sound of him moaning quietly into me. I'm tempted to skip bowling, and go straight to his bed.

There's an unfamiliar chime and buzz, and Peeta pulls away and looks at me.

"What was that?"

"I don't know." I kiss him again. His arms wrap around me and pull me closer. Then that chime sounds again. And again Peeta pulls away.

"Maybe a customer left their phone," he wonders. "It sounds like an iPhone."

iPhone? "Oh! That's me." I take my phone from my jacket pocket. "The ringer is set to default." I read a text message from Prim.

_Just got the invite for the Abbot girl's party. The theme is Monster High. Ugh!_

"It's Prim."

"You got a new phone?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah."

"When?"

"Yesterday. Gale got me an iPhone 5 S. Look, it's green. It's to replace the one he broke."

I type out a quick reply to Prim.

_Of course it is. Gag!_

"Smashed."

I look up to Peeta. "What?"

"He didn't break it. He smashed it. Into a thousand pieces."

I put the phone down next to his and look back up to him, but I don't speak.

"You didn't mention you saw him when we spoke last night."

"Well, I didn't _see him_. He came to the parent conference at Rue's school. I told you about that. I wasn't keeping anything from you."

Peeta nods. His hands slide up and down my sides.

I lean in and kiss him again. He pulls away from me and walks into the kitchen. I hop off the counter and I follow him. He doesn't make eye contact with me as he moves around the kitchen with ease, packing away pastries and putting big round rolls of dough into metal bowls.

"I get it, Peeta. All right? And I apologize."

Peeta stops his work. He leans forward and rests his elbows on the metal countertop. He raises his eyebrows and listens to me speak.

"I'm sorry I didn't mention seeing Gale yesterday. I wasn't expecting to see him and I didn't spend quality time with him or anything. But, I could've mentioned it to you just the same."

"Thank you."

I walk around the counter, closing the distance between us. "Now, can we please go have some fun?" He stands up straight and I wrap my arms around him. "I miss you."

There's been so much drama happening lately, all I want to do is go out and have a good time with Peeta.

He smiles at me, wide and toothy. "Let's go, Professor."

X

"Ready?"

I nod.

"1. 2. 3!"

I drop the shot glass of cream liquor into my glass. I bring it up to my lips and I pour the dark liquid back. I gulp it down as quickly as I can and slam the glass back onto the bar a full second after Peeta finishes his.

"Damn it!" I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

"That's two out of three. I told you, woman." He wraps an arm around my waist. "I'm undefeated!"

"That's cus these are Irish car bombs. A pint of Guinness is like a meal." I bring a hand to my stomach.

"You lost!" He leans in and kisses my cheek. "Quit making excuses. Let's go. Our lane is ready."

I burp quietly - at least I think it was quietly - as I follow Peeta over to our lane. He sits down at the console and begins to type in our handles for scoring.

"What should I put you down as?"

"Yep," I answer. He gives me a confused look. "_Ass_," I clarify. " I'm always _Ass_." I point a finger at him.

He laughs as he inputs the three letters in and switches over to his. "Guess I'll be _Poo_ then."

"I can't wait til they upgrade their system. This three letter thing is dated."

"Hey, dollar games and $4 car bombs! I'm not complaining."

"True." I nod. I lift up a pink ball, thinking its an 8 or 10 pound ball, but it's a 14 pounder, easily. "Oh, come on! This thing will take my fingers off." Peeta laughs at me and passes me a green 8 pound ball.

"Thank you. I should warn you, baker," I say as I fit my fingers into the holes. "I am quite the bowler. But only for the first 3 turns. Then my fingers start to hurt and it's all downhill from there."

"Show me your skills." He sits down on one of the swiveling chairs.

After three car bombs in 30 minutes, I'm officially drunk. I wobble my way in ugly, slippery shoes over to the line. I bring my right hand back and swing it forward. A few seconds later, all of the pins are demolished. It's a strike.

"Whoo!"

I turn around and find Peeta nodding in approval. I walk over to his chair and flop down onto his lap. His hand threads into my hair and he pulls me in for a kiss.

"Your turn."

"Can't we keep doing this instead?" he asks as he squeezes my hip.

"There's plenty of time for that later." I kiss the tip of his nose and slide off his lap.

He stands and picks his ball up. He holds it up to his face and pretends to lick it.

"Eew, Peeta!"

"Nobody fucks with the Jesus," he says with a terrible spanish accent.

"Just bowl," I order through my laughter.

He rolls the ball down the lane, taking down 8 pins.

"Aww, too bad," I tease.

He ignores my taunts as he sends the ball down again, knocking down one more. He shrugs his shoulders and smiles as he sits back down next to me.

"Go," he says as he leans back.

I stand and walk over to the ball return. I bend over and retrieve my green ball. I look over my shoulder and catch Peeta staring at my ass.

"Excuse me," I say as I stand up straight.

"Sue me," he says raising his hands above his head.

I shake my head and turn back towards the lane. I send the ball rolling away from me and it knocks down 8 pins. I don't pick up the spare. I walk back over to Peeta.

"It's all downhill from here."

He pulls me to sit in his lap and he kisses my lips once.

"Mmmm," I moan.

"Later," he reminds me.

"Peeta Mellark?"

He pulls his lips from mine and turns toward the man who called him.

"Chaff Andrews?"

"In the flesh."

I slide off of Peeta's lap and he stands to go greet his acquaintance.

"Holy shit!" Peeta says and he claps the man once on the back.

"I ain't seen your ugly face in years."

"Yeah, well. Life, man. How you been?"

"Good. Good. I'm manager over at the Harris Teeter."

"The Barracks road one?"

"Naw, the one in the shopping center."

Peeta nods. "That's good, man."

"What about you? I heard you knocked up that Cartwright girl."

"I have an amazing daughter. And I own the bakery now."

"Good for you." The man nods and then his eyes drift over to me. "Who is this?"

"Professor, come over here and meet this varmint."

"Professor?"

I wrap an arm around Peeta's waist, and extend the other to the man. "Katniss Everdeen, pleasure to meet you."

The man looks at Peeta then back to me. "Oh, no, ma'am. The pleasure is all mine." He leans forward and kisses my hand. I giggle.

"So you're a teacher?"

"I'm a biology professor."

"How'd you end up with this old fool?" he points to Peeta.

I shrug my shoulders. "Just lucky I guess." Peeta smiles at me.

The man raises his eyebrows. "Well, I won't keep you from your lady, or your game." He extends a hand out to Peeta. "See you around."

"Bye!" I say.

I try to walk back over to the chairs, but Peeta's arm stops me. He pulls me close and kisses me wetly on the cheek. "Wish I had you on my arm 2 years ago. You'd have been a fine trophy to go to my high school reunion with."

"High school reunion?"

"Mmhmm."

"Who did you take?"

He brushes a stray hair away from my face. "I didn't go."

"Oh." I look away. "C'mon, Poo, it's your turn."

"Okay, Ass. I'm going."

X

"My fingers are still swollen," I complain. Bowling always leaves me with two or three hurt fingers.

"Let me see," He leans over the back of the couch, grabs my wrist, and examines my fingers. "Huh. They sure are." He pushes himself back up and walks into the kitchen. I get up from the couch and take a seat at the kitchen table.

"Good game though," Peeta says.

"Yeah. I almost beat you that first time. Then my game went to shit."

"Yeah, that's weird about you. Most people get better as the game goes on." I swat at him, and he tosses me a bag of frozen peas.

"You know," I begin. "I have a hard time eating off my dining room table now."

Peeta raises an eyebrow to me. "Is that a fact?"

"It is. I think it's only fair that you have similar difficulties in your house."

He narrows his eyes at me. "What are you suggesting?"

I stand up and take a seat on the kitchen table. I part my knees wide.

"That you fuck me right here, right now." I curl my finger at him.

He closes the distance between us with two strides. His hand cups my jaw and he kisses me. I wrap my legs around him pulling him closer. His right hand moves to my hair and he tugs my head back. His kisses trail down my neck as my hands wander over the strong muscles of his back.

"Yes," I sigh.

"We should move this to the bedroom," he suggests. "Or the shower."

I pull back and look at him. "You're missing the point," I complain.

"I'm not. It's just that DJ could be home early. Seeing us kiss is one thing. She doesn't need to see everything I do to you." He kisses me again. "And there are so many things I want to do to do you tonight." He slides his hands up my sweater and palms my breasts over my bra. He continues to plant kisses on my neck.

I glance at the clock on the wall. It's only 7:30.

"DJ won't be home til 8. Her rehearsal doesn't even let out til 7:45."

Peeta pulls away and looks at my face with a frown. "What rehearsal?"

Shit.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "She didn't tell you yet?"

Peeta shakes his head. "Tell me what?" His hands slide out from my shirt. Damn it.

"I shouldn't have said anything."

"Katniss." He raises his eyebrows at me.

I furrow my brow. "Did you just use your D_ad_ voice on me?"

He smiles and shrugs. "I gave it a shot."

I unwrap my legs from around him. "All right, let's have the talk."

He sits on the table next to me and grabs my hand. "What talk?"

I sigh. "A couple of weeks ago, DJ suggested I marry you, so that I can be her mom." I feel Peeta tense beside me.

"Oh."

That's not the real point of this discussion, so I quickly move on. "She's in a play at school. And, her friends' mothers are all involved with it. Making scenery and costumes."

"So, why didn't she ask me?"

I shrug. "She asked me. There's...a meeting she wants me to go to on Sunday afternoon."

Peeta frowns, struggling to wrap his head around my words.

"A couple of the girls have apparently been giving her grief about ...not having a mother." I say this last four words slowly, because I'm not sure how accurate they are. "Around." I quickly add.

"You should've told me."

I nod. "Probably. But she asked me not to. I didn't want to betray her trust." I roll my eyes at myself. "Though that's exactly what I just did."

Peeta chuckles.

"Peeta, does DJ... How has she been with the other ...women you've brought home?"

"Oh! Um... Well, I haven't brought anyone else home." I raise an eyebrow at him. "I've... I can't believe I'm about to tell you this... " He shakes his head. "I've had more one night stands than a gentleman should."

"Oh!"

"I was young, a father, alone. My friends were all out clubbing. There were times I'd leave DJ with my mom and blow off some steam. I never brought them home. I'm not proud of it." He looks down. As if sensing my next question he continues, "I've dated casually, but I've not been with anyone since before my parents accident. Until you."

I nod. "Three," I whisper.

"What?"

"In case you were wondering. Gale, Thom, you. Three."

His thumb strokes the back of my hand. "You're so pure."

"I'm an adulterer," I quietly remind him.

"We all make mistakes," he pulls me close. "Just, don't make that one again." I laugh.

"Listen, Katniss, I really appreciate all you do for DJ. But, please don't feel like you have to do anything you don't want to. Especially since I've yet to reciprocate with Rue."

"It's not tit for tat. You give Rue what she needs from you."

"I'd like to have a bigger role in her life."

I smile. "I'm sure she'd like that too."

"In the meantime, I'll have a talk with DJ about-"

"Don't you dare, Peeta Mellark. That's none of your business." I say as I poke him in the side. He smiles, but it quickly fades.

He looks down, into my eyes. "What if you leave me?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Don't let me."

"I won't." He smiles softly.

It's a promise. Easier said than done, but, a promise just the same. We've both been taken for granted before. Betrayed by someone we love in one way or another. But we're healing.

"Peeta, do you want to spend Thanksgiving with us?"

"Really?"

"Sure." I nod.

"What about Gale?"

"Gale and Rory are from across the waters...or 'the pond' they would call it. They don't care about Thanksgiving. Plus, Gale was always working so much it didn't matter one way or the other. Prim and I usually just watch the Macy's parade with the girls and make lunch." I shrug. "Sometimes my friend Jo comes by."

"Well, that won't do."

"What do you mean?"

"I would love to spend Thanksgiving with you ladies. But, I want to make a proper Thanksgiving meal. Mellark turkeys are famous, you know." He hugs me tighter. "Let me feed you."

I realize it's been a few years since his last family meal. But I don't pry about his brothers. And from the dreamy look that's taken over his eyes, I'd say he's really looking forward to this.

"All right."

He pulls me close and kisses me. I feel my body melt against his as our tongues dance together.

"Peeta," I whisper. "Take me to bed."

"I've got a better idea." He presses my shoulders back and lays me onto the table. "How about I take you right here?"

X

I step into the cafe and shiver from the cool air of late autumn. There are dead brown leaves everywhere, one even stuck to my jacket I notice, as I pull Rue inside behind me.

"Morning Daddy!" she beams as she hands me her jacket. I hang hers up next to mine as she runs over to Gale.

"Good morning, honey." He pulls her into his arms.

"Guess what!"

"What?"

"Peeta is going to help with my booth and the Christmas fair at school! I'm gonna raise the most money of anyone!"

Gale's eyes cut over to me. "Peeta?"

I press my lips together as I sit down.

"When did it stop being 'Mr. Mellark?'"

"Gale," I sigh.

He holds his hands up in mock surrender. "I'm sorry." He turns back to Rue. "That's good news, honey. I'm sure you'll have the best booth." He reaches into a plastic bag beside him. "Look what I brought you. It's a coloring book. You like Kim Possible, right?"

"Well, she's a spy, but she's not cool anymore daddy."

Gale's face falls. "Oh, right. I didn't know..."

Rue's face twists with guilt. "Thank you," she says.

He smiles as he hands her a fresh pack of crayons and she nods quickly in approval. Few things are as satisfying to Rue as a fresh pack of crayons, so Gale earns a few points there. Rue sits in her seat and begins to color in the book.

I close my eyes and pull my arms behind me to stretch. I flinch when I feel Gale's lips at the corner of my mouth. My eyes fly open.

"Good morning," he greets me.

He pulls away before I have a chance to scold him. But not before Rue looks between us with confusion spread across her face. I rest my elbows on the table. He brings a hand up to cover mine. "I ordered you the eggs Benedict," he says with a smile. I pull my hands into my lap.

"Thank you," I say shortly.

I make a mental note to be more vigilant around Gale. He's being tricky about finding ways to touch me.

"I was thinking, maybe I could pick Rue up from school a few times a week?"

"Um.. Well... Sure. Once or twice maybe. She takes the bus with Posy usually, and I fetch her at the corner."

"I could collect Posy too."

"It's not a good time to upset our routine."

"Well, I have the time off."

"But when you start a new job, that will change."

He shrugs. "I was thinking about taking some time off of work. Maybe a few months. While I decide whether the industry is right for me."

I nod slowly. "I see."

These are the kinds of things best handled with a mediator. Suddenly, Paylor's suggestion to continue counseling has merit.

The waitress sets our plates down in front of us. I frown at Gale when I see a stack of chocolate chip pancakes set down in front of Rue.

"Chocolate chip pancakes? For me? Really?"

"Yes, honey."

"You know she has two cavities," I say.

"Make an exception," he says.

"Her Halloween candy is the exception. She still has half a bucket at home."

"Really?" he shrugs and dives into his breakfast of toast and scrambled eggs. I take a few bites of my food, grateful for the temporary silence.

"So.." Gale begins. "Are we headed to the stables after brunch?"

"You're really laying it on thick here."

"I don't know what you mean."

"I think you do."

He purses his lips and I hear him exhale. "I'm trying, Katniss."

My face softens. "I know. Just... Ease up a little, will you?"

He nods as he turns his attention back to his meal. And I feel a little bad for him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude."

He drops his fork onto his plate and looks into my eyes. "I know. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do here."

"Maybe you could come over for dinner sometime," Rue suggests. We both look over to her.

"What?" I say.

"Mommy hates doing the dishes. Maybe if you came over and eat dinner with us, you could do the dishes?"

Gale nods. "I could help with that."

"Rue, that's one of your chores."

"But daddy _wants_ to do it."

"Now, honey, if your mommy says you have to do something then you do it."

I look over at him with, the surprise written clearly on my face. I'm not used to him backing me up. "Thank you."

He nods once.

"But, the dinner idea isn't bad ... If mommy says its okay." He looks at me hopefully. "Maybe sometime this week?"

"It's a holiday week. How about next-"

"Right! That's it then. We can spend your thanksgiving holiday together."

"Gale, it ain't MY holiday."

"Of course not."

"And we have plans."

"DJs coming over!" Rue says happily.

"Right. Of course she is." Gale nods, understanding that that means Peeta is coming over. "From my understanding thanksgiving is a rather big gathering, innit?"

"It is," I say, not liking where this is going.

"Then this year Rory and I will join you ladies. Unless you think Mr. Mellark will mind."

I slowly shake my head.

"It's settled then." He puts his napkin on his plate." What do you make for thanksgiving dinner anyway?"

I roll my eyes. This is going to be a long ass holiday.

X

Prim is kind enough to watch Rue for me while I attend the drama club meeting with DJ. Peeta did offer to watch her, but something about them being alone for an extended period of time still strikes me as inappropriate for the moment. I'm not sure why...I think it's mostly to do with Gale. It's a double standard, I'll admit. But Peeta respects it.

"Thanks, Katniss," DJ says from the front seat. "I know you usually like to spend Sunday afternoons at the stables."

"Don't you worry about that. I'm worried about you. Is Sae gonna have you make up for today?"

"Of course she is."

I laugh as I pull into the middle school. That woman is a hard ass. When I step out of the car with DJ, I notice her face fall. Her gaze is trained on a couple of girls who are giggling as they walk into the school.

"That's them?"

DJ nods. "That's Cashmere and Enobaria. They don't like me much."

"That's probably because you got the title role more than anything else. Come on, sweetie."

DJ walks half a step ahead of me as she enters the school and leads me to the auditorium.

"Ms. Delilah, is this your, uh... Katniss, right?"

"Mmhmm."

"I'm Mrs. Gloss. Pleased to meet you. Why don't you join us over here, while Mrs. Undersee runs the rehearsal."

"Of course." I turn to DJ. "I'll see you soon."

I spend the next hour discussing the set and costume design with the group of mothers and aunts. They don't pry about my relationship with DJ. I think they're just relieved she was able to produce someone who can help.

"I can have those ready after the holiday. Actually, my daughter has a birthday party to go to on the 30th... Would December be too late for a fitting?"

"No,that's fine. If there's any help you need, just let us know."

I think for a moment. I work full time. I have to juggle all of Rue's school stuff and the Christmas fair... potential family counseling and getting a court date... and dating Peeta - it's fun, but let's be honest, dating is work too. Now I'm agreeing to sew up a costume for DJ plus half a dozen accessories for the other roles too? I'm getting in over my head.

"You know... If someone could take over the boy's accessories, that would be helpful. I have three machines at my place. Maybe we could make an afternoon of it?"

"Oh, well. None of us can sew."

"Not even a simple stitch?" What exactly did they plan to do without me?

"Let me think. You know, the drama teacher may be able to help out here." she stands. "Mrs. Undersee! Could we borrow you for a moment?"

I look over to the stage and smile as I see DJ happily rehearsing her lines. The drama teacher stands with her back to us, her blonde hair wrapped up in a bun on top of her head. She turns around and I recognize her. But I can't place her face.

She walks over to us, smiling at Mrs. Gloss as she approaches our circle of metal chairs.

"Mrs. Undersee, I'd like to you meet Ms. Everdeen."

"All right."

"She's here with DJ. She'll be sewing the costumes."

"Oh, that's fantastic." Mrs. Undersee turns towards me. "Pleasure to meet you...Mrs Hawthorne!" she covers her mouth, as though she could cram the words back in.

"How did you?" I look at her busty physique, and her blonde hair. I imagine myself outside of a diner, cold, confused, riddled with guilt. I spot Gale. A woman leans over the table and kisses him.

My eyes widen with realization and I stand from my seat.

"I have to go. DJ!"

Mrs. Undersee simply stares at me. Wait. Mrs.?

"Katniss?"

"We have to go, sweetie."

"But there's ten minutes left of rehearsal."

"We're ending early today," Mrs. Undersee yells back.

Oh good. This is uncomfortable for her too. My eyes drift to her left hand. She's wearing a ring.

"Everything all right here?"

"Yes. No. Yes."

I watch DJ climb off the stage and walk towards us.

"Well, Ms. Everdeen here will need some assistance with the sewing. We were hoping you could-"

"You know what, I've got it. DJ will help me. It'll all be fine. You all have my number," I ramble as I gather up my belongings.

DJ appears beside me.

I put my arm around her shoulder. "Let's go."

X

I pick up Rue on the way back from the middle school. She and DJ talk about how they plan to spend their Sunday's once Sae's shuts down for the season. I'm grateful for the chatter. I'm not ready to be alone with my thoughts.

I pull into the Mellark bakery with my stomach in knots and my head pounding.

"Go on in, girls," I say as I rest my head on the steering wheel.

"You alright, Katniss?"

"Uh-huh. I'll be in directly."

"All right." I hear DJ climb out of the car and help Rue out of her booster seat. "Come on, Rue. I'll show you my room." The sound of their chattering fades as they step into the apartment next to the bakery.

Damn it. I'm alone with my thoughts.

I knew Gale had an affair. And I was with Peeta that very night. I don't know why I'm so upset. After all, Gale had to work with the man I slept with for a year, then lost his job to him.

For the first time today, I've gotten a glimpse of how big the picture really is. Seeing Mrs. Undersee just let's me know how far my actions ripple out. How many lives were affected? Does Gale know she's a married woman? I'm not prepared to face the echoes of my infidelity. I breathe in, gulping the air like I'm trapped underwater. My guilt threatens to suffocate me.

I shut my eyes and try to keep my mind from wandering to my darkest place. But I can't. I'm back in that bathroom, letting Thom fuck me against the door.

_"Let me make you feel good...I just want you to feel good..."_

I shake my head against the steering wheel, but it won't stop.

The knock on the window startles me and I open my eyes.

"Katniss?" Peeta says. He looks concerned.

The sight of his face relaxes me. "Hi" I mouth. He smiles. "Hi," he mouths back. He opens the door and I push myself up from the steering wheel.

He pulls me to stand and I wrap my arms around his neck. He presses his lips to mine and bolts of lightening shoot down my spine. He brings me back to the present, and thoughts of Thom slip away.

"How do you do that?" I ask.

"Do what?"

"Make everything all right."

He smiles again. "So my kisses do make everything better after all, huh?" he teases.

I simply nod.

His smile fades and he hugs me tightly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head. "Not now."

"All right." He kisses the side of my head. "I love you."

It's exactly what I needed to hear.

"I love you too."


	9. Behind the Mirror

**Happy Fall, everyone! ****I'm so appreciative of your comments, messages, reviews, etc. Keep 'em coming!**

**Also, if anyone reading this is British and could shed some light on rhyming slang for me, it'd be much appreciated. I had a bit in this chapter, but i removed it so I don't make a fool of myself.**

**Thanks to _lauralulubee_ for being an awesome beta.**

**Not much disclosure this time. You all know whats coming. ****Here's some family drama for you. I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

_"You live in a world. You're living behind the mirror."_

Even with the chill in the air that reaches down to my bones and the leafless trees that line the horizon, Charlottesville is beautiful. The emptiness of late autumn only helps to frame the colors the sun streaks behind the rolling hills as it moves through the sky. It's not yet Christmastime. It's not yet winter. There's no snow on the ground, no cheer in the air, no celebrations of joy or new beginnings. Right now, there's just calm.

On this cool November morning, Peeta and DJ arrived early, and in their pajamas. I lean against the molding of the doorway between the kitchen and the hallway. I lick my lips as I watch Peeta lean over and place a 25-lb turkey upside down into the oven.

"That'll take a while," he says as he closes the door. He spins around and his eyes find mine. A mischievous smile spreads across his face and I know I've been caught staring. I shrug a shoulder in response.

"That's why you wanted to come over so early?" I move into the kitchen and hop onto the counter. "To prepare that beast?"

"Absolutely. Good things take time." He steps towards me and I part my knees, giving him space to step in between. "You should know," he raises an eyebrow at me. "I also wanted a few moments peace with you," he says quietly as he interlaces our fingers.

He won't admit it, but he's edgy about spending the holiday with Gale. I rest my free hand on his strong shoulder and I look into his big beautiful blues.

"Kiss me, baker."

I don't have to ask twice. Peeta leans forward and places an open-mouthed kiss on my lips. It's quick, too quick. My eyes are still closed as I feel him pull away. I run my tongue along my bottom lip.

"You always taste so good," I whisper.

And then he's kissing me again. His fingers grip my hand tightly as his tongue slips between my lips. I follow his lead, letting him take control.

"You sure do like to kiss my mommy a lot, Peeta."

Peeta pulls his lips from mine with a smile. "Yes, ma'am. I do."

"Quiet, Rue," DJ cautions. "Let 'em kiss."

"It's fine, baby girl," Peeta replies. "Parade starts in 15 minutes. You ready for it?"

"Uh-huh. Turning on the TV now." DJ sits on the floor in the living room and grabs the remote off the table.

Peeta steps from between my legs, but he still holds my hand tightly. I hop off the counter and he pulls me into his arms for a hug.

"Can I have a kiss too?" Rue asks.

"What?" Peeta says as he looks around for her. She's standing right next to him. Peeta and DJ are still getting used to how quietly Rue and I move around. I point down, showing him where she is.

"You kiss mommy all the time, and DJ too. Can I have a kiss?"

Peeta's eyes shine with a range of emotion I can't fathom. He quickly releases me from his arms and turns to Rue.

"Of course you can, little woman."

He scoops her up in one swoop and holds her close. He loudly plants a kiss on her cheek.

"Muah!" Rue giggles. "How was that?" He asks.

"It tickles," she laughs. Her hand scratches the shadow on his face. He didn't shave yet this morning.

He puts her down and she scampers into the living room with DJ. Peeta reaches for my hand again while he drags a thumb along his chin.

"I do need to shave. Can I use your bathroom?"

"Of course. Why are you even asking?"

Peeta's free hand finds the back of his neck. "Well... I'd like to use the master bathroom. The last time I was upstairs was when I brought you home from the hospital."

"I'm sorry," I say looking away from him. He's been so good about coping with the ways I've shut him out. Ways I didnt even know I had. I squeeze his hand. "Please. Make yourself at home."

I feel his finger on my chin and he pulls me to look at him.

"Thank you," he says and he kisses me once.

Peeta grabs his backpack from behind the couch and he makes his way upstairs. I sit on the floor watching the end of the morning news with the girls. Well, I watch. They impatiently wait for the parade to begin. It's not long before there's a knock at the door.

"That'll be Prim and Posy. Go upstairs and get dressed. Both of you."

"We'll miss the beginning of the parade." Rue complains.

"Move quickly and you won't." I pull myself to my feet. "DJ, you can take the spare bedroom upstairs. Rue will show you."

"Yes, ma'am."

I hear them bound up the stairs. I'm not dressed, myself. I'm wearing flannel pajamas and a tank. Once I let Prim and Posy in, I'll go change too.

"You ladies are early!" I open the door and my eyes fall on Gale. "Oh. Hi."

Gale stands on the front porch holding something festively decorated with colored plastic wrap and ribbon. "I wasn't sure if you would need help cooking," he smiles. "You look beautiful, love." His eyes drift to my chest, and I wrap my arms around myself to cover up.

"Thank you. Peeta's doing most of the heavy lifting today."

Gale looks over towards Peeta's car, which he's blocked in the driveway. "Right. Mellark's here early, yes?"

I step aside and he walks into the foyer. He leans in to kiss me...on the cheek maybe, but I don't allow it. I take his hat off his head and hand it to him.

"So are you," I say with a smirk. "We told you, dinner's at 3."

"Yes, I noted the odd time. Rue was talking about the parade. Isn't that part of the festivities?"

I purse my lips. If only he listened this well when we were married. "It is."

"Professor, I wasn't sure which towel I should-" Peeta stops as he reaches the bottom of the stairs. His face is still wet from shaving. He's wearing a light blue button down shirt that matches his eyes and jeans. He hesitates for a moment before forcing a smile. He walks into the foyer. "Hawthorne," he extends a hand for Gale to shake. I look back to Gale who's yet to muster enough class to approach the situation.

"I'm underdressed," he says with a smirk. "I thought we were here to relax. Not make an impression." His hand reaches out towards Peeta's and they do that hard shaking thing again.

"Well, it is my first Thanksgiving with Katniss," Peeta smiles.

"It's Gale's first Thanksgiving too," I add. Gale's head whips over towards me and I raise my eyebrows at him and mouth "what?"

He sighs."Right...where's Rue?"

"The girls are upstairs getting dressed," Peeta says.

"The girls?" Gale repeats.

"There are two of 'em." Peeta says as he walks back into the kitchen. "I'll have parade snacks ready shortly." He puts an apron on over his clothes and I can't help but notice how sexy he is in those jeans.

"Something I can help with?" Gale says, not wanting to be outdone. He hands me the plastic package and hangs his coat up. I notice the black crew neck sweater and jeans he's wearing. He looks good.

"What's this?" I inspect the package, letting my guard down. Gale leans in and quickly kisses my cheek. I quickly glance over to Peeta, whose hands are fisted. I shoot him a look and he rolls his eyes.

"Fruit cake," Gale says as he pulls back.

"Fruit cake?" I repeat.

"No thanks, man. You've done enough," Peeta says. He looks at me with a smirk.

"He's right, Gale. This is... too much."

Gale shrugs his shoulders as he walks into the living room. The parade is just starting. I hear heavy footsteps on the stairs.

"Careful, girls!" I shout.

"Yes, mommy."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Hi daddy!"

"Hey, honey! Come give daddy a hug," Gale hold his arms out for her. She throws herself at him with no question. "Morning, DJ."

"Morning, Mr. Gale," DJ says. She clearly has a distaste for him.

"Rue, baby, do something with all that hair," I complain as I set the fruit cake onto the counter. I share a look with Peeta. He leans in and brushes my hair aside. "Don't worry. I'm making you something," he whispers. Then he kisses me once just below my ear. I shudder slightly and lick my lips at the sensation. I hear and feel Peeta chuckle beside me.

"I'm gonna braid it for her," DJ says holding up a comb and a few elastics.

"She's tender headed," I warn DJ. She nods.

I look down at myself, still in my pajamas. I really should go change, but I can't leave until there's another adult in the room to mediate between Gale and Peeta. Thankfully, the doorbell rings.

"That'll be Prim," I say. "Gale, would you get the door?" I give Peeta's arm a reassuring squeeze, then I walk over to the stairs. "I need to go change."

I hear the chorus of hellos as I reach the top of the steps. I leave, confident that Prim won't allow those two to act like monkeys in front of the children.

I step into my bedroom and notice Peeta's backpack is still in here. Moving into the bathroom, I inhale deeply as his scent lingers in the air. I don't dwell, though. I quickly wash up and step back into my bedroom. I put on a dark green sweater dress. I brush my hair, resting it over my shoulder. I don't put on any make up - I never do - but I do put a little Vaseline on my lips since its cold.

I make my way back down the stairs. I see DJ braiding Rue's hair, while Posy points at DJ's hair and nods. Gale and Rory are sitting on the couch, speaking betwix themselves. Prim is in the kitchen with Peeta, stirring something white in a glass bowl. Peeta is setting a hot tray down on top of the stove.

"There you are," Prim says. "Peeta's got me in here doing your job."

She sets the bowl down and exits the kitchen. She gives me a hug. "He's fucking hot," she whispers into my ear. "I know," I whisper back.

"What's he got you doing?" I ask.

"Whipping cream," she says.

I smile. Peeta did say he was making me something. Hopefully, my favorite.

I feel an arm around my waist. "You're so damn beautiful," Peeta says quietly to me. His words were meant only for my ears, but when Prim raises an eyebrow at me, I know he's spoken louder than he intended.

Peeta extends the tray he's holding with his free hand. "Mini quiches," he says offering them to us.

I take one from the tray and immediately moan my approval.

"That's good. I bet I can even get Posy to eat this," Prim says.

"Well, by all means." He passes her the tray.

"Putting me to work again?" Prim teases.

"Something like that. I've got to get back in the kitchen."

"I don't want you in there all day," I complain.

"Just a little while longer," he promises. "I'm finishing up dessert. Bakings all done. You made the mashed potatoes, yams, greens and mac and cheese, so apart from basting the turkey and making gravy, there isn't much left for me to do."

"And let's not forget Gale brought a fruit cake," I say.

"Oh, no. Did he really?" Prim asks.

"Yep." Peeta and I nod.

"Damn it! I'm going to have to eat some of it." Prim crosses her arms in front of her chest.

I roll my eyes at her. "You should just tell Rory you don't like it."

"Shhh! No, I've been living this lie too long to let it go now."

I shrug. "Your taste buds."

Prim rolls her eyes as she walks into the living room. She sits on the couch, claiming the spot next to Rory. I claim my favorite chair, next to the window and I curl my legs up. I smooth my dress down when I catch Gale looking at me. I wonder how long this phase he's in is going to last. Everyone's got a mouth full of quiche as we watch the parade.

Peeta enters the living room. "You've got me hard at work, woman," he says as he sits on the arm of my chair. He leans in and his arm wraps around my shoulder.

"Thank you, baker," I say. He rubs my arm in response.

"These are bloody fantastic," Rory says around a mouthful of quiche. "What culinary school did you attend?"

"Mellark didn't go to school," Gale mutters.

"My Grandaddy didn't either," DJ interjects. "But the Mellark bakery has been open since 1947."

"Really?" Rory asks.

Peeta nods his head. "The past four generations of Mellarks were raised right in our bakery. I've been baking since I could toddle."

"1947. Is the building up to code?" Gale asks.

"Damn it, Gale. Have a little guide of yourself," I scold. He rolls his eyes. Prim and Rory hold back smiles.

"Can you make cookies?" Posy asks sweetly.

"Of course he can," Rue sighs.

"Did you make any today?" Posy asks hopefully.

"No," Peeta shakes his head. "But I made other stuff," he offers.

"Daddy made two pies and a strawberry shortcake," DJ says proudly.

"The shortcake is obviously for Katniss," Prim says.

"Why would that be for Katniss?" Gale asks.

"It's her favorite," Peeta says as he looks down at me. His thumb rubs small circles on my shoulder. I can't help but smile.

We make it through the rest of the parade with little issue. Prim and I enjoy the broadway performances in Herald Square, and the girls enjoy the Spongebob balloon and Santa Claus. Peeta and Rory enjoy seeing their daughters happy. Gale enjoys nothing.

We decide to put a movie on. No one is interested in watching any of the three football games scheduled for today anyway. Prim and I are into the Virginia Cavaliers, and they aren't playing today. Peeta's a Redskins fan, and they're not playing today either. Rory and Gale don't follow football.

"I've seen that guy before," Rory says pointing to the dark skinned man playing the sandman in "The Santa Clause 3."

"Of course you have. He's famous," Prim teases.

"Who is he?" Rory continues.

"Michael Dorn," I say. "No one ever recognizes him without his head gear."

Peeta laughs from the kitchen. He's basting the turkey. "Head gear," he repeats.

"I don't get it. Who is he?" Gale says.

"He's Worf from Star Trek," I explain.

"I don't see it," Gale shrugs.

Peeta shakes his head as he sits on the arm of the chair again. "We'll eat at 3," he assures us.

"Great. I'm starved. Is Jo coming?" Prim asks.

Jo's entire family was killed in a fire when she was 16 years old. She has good days and bad days. Holidays are always a wild card. I can never tell whether she'll be feeling social. So, my door is always open for her, and she can choose to use it if she wants. "She's welcome, but I haven't heard from her today." I stand. "I'm going to set the table."

"I'll help you," Gale says as he follows me into the dining room.

"All right." I walk over to the cupboard and pull out a tablecloth. I turn around and stifle a gasp as I see Gale leaning over the table, exactly where Peeta and I made love weeks ago.

"You'll need to add a leaf or two to the table."

Gale nods and makes his way to the closet between the kitchen and the dining room. He retrieves the heavy wooden pieces and brings them into the dining room. We work together to open the table and add in the extra pieces. I quickly spread the cloth out and smooth it over the table.

"Katniss," Gale says. "I'd like to take you and Rue out this weekend."

"What happened to easing up?"

"What's wrong with something simple? Maybe a movie? Saturday afternoon?"

"Well... All right... But not Saturday afternoon. Rue has a birthday party to go to." I open the cupboard door and retrieve the good plates.

"Oh... Well maybe I can take her to that."

I freeze. My eyes drift up to meet his. "I don't think that's a very good idea."

"Why not?"

"I don't think a birthday party is a good place for you to make an appearance."

Gale shrugs. "Why don't we let Rue decide?"

I don't answer. But that has "pig fuck" written all over it.

"I made an appointment for us with Dr. Aurelius. The usual time," I say quietly. "If you want to go, that is."

Gale smiles. "You want to work on our relationship?"

I nod. "As Rue's parents, yes."

"I'll be there."

We finish setting the table in silence. 3 o'clock takes forever to arrive. But when it finally does, we eagerly gather around the table.

"This all looks amazing," Prim says. "Much better than the sandwiches we usually make."

"Well, if I have my druthers y'all won't have Thanksgiving PB&Js ever again," Peeta says proudly.

"Shall we then?" Rory asks as he reaches for the spoon in the bowl of Mac n cheese. Prim slaps his hand.

"Not yet."

"Why not?"

"You're s'pposed to say what youre thankful for," Rue explains. "I'm thankful for my mommy and daddy. And DJ and Peeta. And that Christmas is coming!" I smile at her.

"Oh. Right. Well, I'm thankful for my ladies." Rory smiles at Prim. "And this meal." He pulls a scoop onto his plate.

"If you eat that I'll stab you with a fork and leave you bleeding like a stuck hog," Prim cautions. Rory puts down his fork with a laugh. Prim rolls her eyes. "I'm thankful for my well-behaved husband and daughter. And that I only have one year left of residency!"

"I'm thankful for my mommy and daddy who love each other soooo much!" Posy says.

"I'm grateful for people to share this holiday with," Peeta says. His eyes drift over to me.

"Me too," DJ says. "It feels like we have a big family again."

"Gale?" Prim says.

"Huh?"

"You're the hold up. What are you thankful for?"

He spins the platinum ring on his left ring finger. I glance over at a frowning Peeta, who seems to have only just noticed that Gale is still wearing his wedding ring.

"It's been a long year. I'm thankful for the chance to spend the holiday season with family and then start fresh in the new year."

"I'll drink to that," Prim says.

We toast our glasses and then dive into the meal. The sounds of forks clinking against plates fill the air.

"Mmm. Mommy the Mac and cheese is so yummy!"

"I'm glad you like it baby. We'll be eating it all weekend," I say.

Prim and Peeta laugh. Though, we know we're more than fortunate to have Thanksgiving leftovers.

"At least the girls will get a break Saturday and eat some birthday cake," Rory says.

"Right. The birthday party. Rue, how would you like if I take you?" Gale says. I bring my thumb and forefinger to my nose.

"What's wrong,"Peeta says, leaning in to me. I meet his eyes briefly before turning my attention back to Gale and Rue.

"What?" Rue says.

"I'd like to take you to the birthday party on Saturday."

"Why?"

Damn it.

"Don't you think it will be fun?" Gale asks with a smile.

Rue stands from the table and drops her fork on the ground. "No! Not with you!" She stomps her right foot once.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Gale asks.

DJ laughs under her breath. "Delilah," Peeta scolds.

"Shut up, DJ! You were right, okay? My daddy's a jerk."

"Rue!" Gale scolds.

Rue runs out of the dining room and up the stairs. "Come back down here!"

"Let her go," I tell him.

Gale is left with his mouth hanging open. "What'd I do?"

There's a loaded question. How much time has he got? "Just leave it alone, Gale." I lift my napkin and wipe the corners of my mouth. Peeta shakes his head as he brings a forkful of food to his lips.

"You got something to say, Mellark?"

Peeta smiles as he chews. "What's Thanksgiving without a little family drama? Right?"

"This isn't your family," Gale says through his teeth.

Peeta's smile fades as he puts his fork down. He opens his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it. "Everyone at this table is here for a reason," I reach for Peeta's hand under the table. His thumb strokes the back of my hand as he takes a deep calming breath.

I make a show of throwing my hands up. "Y'all keep eating. I'll go talk to Rue." I push my chair away from the table and I walk up the stairs. I find Rue sobbing on her bed.

"Baby, I'm here." I say as I sit down next to her. She cries as I rub her back. "He didn't mean to make you cry," I say. "He doesn't understand."

"How come he has time for Clove Abbot's party but not mine?"

"His schedule changed-"

"Why couldn't he change it before?"

"I don't know," I answer honestly. I've been asking Gale to make time for us for years. I don't know why all of a sudden we're his top priority, so long after we've learned to get on without him.

She throws herself into my lap. "He never had time for me before. I wish he would stop pretending he does now. It's confusing."

"I know, baby. It confuses me too." I kiss her head. "We'll go to the party just the two of us, okay?"

Rue nods and she wipes her tears away. "Promise?"

"I promise. ...Can we go back downstairs now? I'm still hungry. And there's nothing to eat up here, except you," I say grabbing her arm and playfully biting her thumb.

She pulls her hand away from me with a gasp and a smile. "You bit me!"

"I told you. I'm hungry!" I lean forward bearing my teeth.

"All right, all right!" she stands up. "Let's go."

"Come on then," I stand. I stop as I reach the doorway. "You should probably say sorry to DJ too."

"I will, mommy."

I lead her back downstairs and no one makes a big deal about our return to the table. DJ reaches across the table and puts another spoonful of Mac n cheese on Rue's plate with an apologetic smile.

Gale doesn't apologize to her. He finishes his meal in relative silence. The rest of us continue to eat, making small talk over the bountiful meal.

X

"Thank you for having us," Rory says as he shifts a sleeping Posy in his arms. Prim's a little wobbly on her feet too. Thought that may have to do with the four bottles of wine we polished off.

"Of course," I say.

"I'd better get these two home. See you, Kat. Bye Gale. Nice seeing you again, Peeta."

"Likewise," Peeta says.

I give Rory and Posy a kiss on the cheek and Prim a hug.

"Kiss Rue for me when she wakes up," she says. I look over my shoulder and find Rue and DJ passed out on the living room floor.

"They party hard," I comment. Everyone has the itis from eating so much turkey.

"Nice spending time with you, Peeta. That pumpkin pie was amazing," Prim says as she hugs him goodbye.

"Thank you. It was no sweeter than your company," Peeta replies.

"Bye, Prim," Gale says and he turns around and walks back into the living room.

I shut the door behind them.

"You can move DJ to the bed in the bedroom next to Rue's upstairs," I say to Peeta. I walk over to Rue and scoop her up in my arms. I carry her up the stairs and I catch Peeta lifting DJ up out of the corner of my eye. I put Rue into her bed fully clothed and throw a stray blanket over her. She doesn't budge. I exit Rue's bedroom and find Peeta coming out of the spare room.

"She okay?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah," he wraps an arm around my waist and kisses the side of my head. "She's fast asleep."

"Good."

We walk back down the stairs and find Gale drowsy on the couch, watching the end of "The Nightmare Before Christmas." I glance over to the kitchen at the mountain of leftover food. Even though Prim and Rory took most of my Tupperware and filled them up as much as they liked, there's still much to be packed up.

"I need to go grab some food containers from the basement," I tell Peeta.

He nods and I smile at him before turning away. I walk down the stairs and sift through the boxes of Gale's crap. Finally I find the box of kitchen supplies I packed away for him, back when I thought he would be actually moving all the way out. I collect the spare Tupperware and climb back up the steps. I open the door and step back into the hallway outside the kitchen.

"Honestly, though. A child at seventeen? No university?" Gale says.

I catch the door with my foot and gently close it, careful not to alert them to my presence.

"Do you really think if you met ten years ago, she'd have even given you the time of day?"

Damn it, Gale. I knew I shouldn't have left them alone together. I set the Tupperware down on the floor and move closer.

"I don't find speculation productive. The fact is, we met this summer. And she is very interested. Now, I suggest we change the subject, before she comes back upstairs."

"Afraid she'll realize I'm right?"

"Not at all."

"What then?"

"This is inappropriate."

"Inappropriate? What's inappropriate is you being here. Why don't you just leave? Let us work this out as a family?"

"You love her?" Gale doesn't answer. "If you do, you got a funny way of showing it."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Means you let her go, Hawthorne."

"Sometimes when you love something, you have to let it go."

"Not when that something's a good woman."

"And I should listen to you? You're all mouth and no trousers."

"I don't know what that means." I hear Peeta stand. "And I don't care what you do. Just know I won't make the same mistakes you did. Excuse me. I'm going to go give her a hand."

Peeta walks towards the hallway I'm standing in. He turns the corner and his eyes fall on mine. The surprise quickly fades from his face as I feel his fingers curl around my wrist. I barely have time to gasp as Peeta presses my back against the wall. His strong hands hold me in place, one by the wrist and the other by my hip.

I search his face. He's angry. He's been doing his best to ignore Gale's shady comments all day. But that last exchange was just hateful. I open my mouth to speak to him. But he quickly releases my wrist and brings his hand to cover my mouth as he shakes his head. Now is not the time for words.

Peeta's right hand leaves my hip, and slides under the hem of my sweater dress. He tugs the garment up and it bunches around my waist. I feel his thumbs hook on the waistband of my underwear and he pulls them down. I feel them graze my legs as they fall to the floor. His fingertip traces along my slit and his eyes darken as I get wet. His hand moves to his pants and I hear him quietly fumble with his belt. I glance down as he tugs on his zipper, and his beautiful cock springs free. My eyes drift back up to his and he pulls his left hand away from my mouth.

His right hand lifts my left leg and he steps closer. I reach down and grab his hardened flesh. I guide him to my entrance and he pushes into me slowly. My fingers tighten around his bicep as inch by inch he enters me. My mouth falls open when I feel full. I slide my hand from his back to his hip to let him know I've reached my limit for this angle. He stills. I quietly take three long breaths as my body adjusts to him.

My eyes widen as he pushes forward again, pressing even deeper into me. I push on his hip, but he only narrows his eyes at me. He leans forward and whispers a single word in my ear.

"More."

I don't resist him. I don't push him away as he presses forward. He needs this. My hand moves from his hip to his lower back. I try to relax as I take in all of him. He exhales through his nose as I feel him sink deeper.

When our hips are finally flush, his eyes flutter shut and he sighs. I watch relief spread over his face and I smile. He opens his eyes and looks deeply into mine. I'm not sure how long we stand there, connected and unmoving. But, I savor every second.

He raises his eyebrows, silently asking me a question. I nod. Whatever he's asking, the answer is yes.

The corner of his mouth turns up in a half smile as he begins to move. He slowly pulls all the way out before pushing back into me. His thrusts are slow and deliberate. I feel him claim me with every one.

I hear Gale clear his throat in the living room and I turn my head towards the sound, suddenly remembering where we are. Peeta brings his hand to my cheek and turns me back to face him. I feel myself grow wetter at the determined look in his eye. He's taking me, here and now. And he's not going to let Gale's presence stop him.

I've never wanted him to fuck me more.

He pushes into me harder and I begin to pant with the faster rhythm he's setting. He leans in and finally kisses me, muffling the sighs and whimpers I breathe into his mouth. He grabs my ass and the angle changes. His next thrust is so deep, goosebumps spread across my skin.

Peeta pulls his lips from mine. My breath hitches and I frown slightly. I'm losing control, getting closer to the edge. I feel drops of Peeta's sweat drip from his brow and land on my lips. The salty taste of him only heightens my arousal. I won't last much longer. I feel my body grip him tighter with each stroke. I'm close. His tongue sneaks out, pressed in between his parted lips at the corner of his mouth as he feels my oncoming orgasm. He nods at me as he works. He wants me to cum.

I dig my fingers into his arms as I fall over the edge. My body shakes with pleasure and I shut my eyes, seeing spots, as I come undone. I'm still floating when I feel Peeta's lips on mine and his tongue slides into my mouth. I suck greedily on his tongue as my walls contract violently around him. Every part of my body works to bring him closer.

I'm not sure how long my orgasm lasts. When I finally come down, I struggle to catch my breath. I release Peeta's lips and slump forward against him, resting my head on his shoulder. My breathing still hasn't evened out when I feel my back pulled from the wall.

My head snaps up as Peeta lifts me up, hooking his arms around my legs. My hands grip his shoulders and I feel his muscles flex as he lifts me higher. Gravity brings me down and my mouth falls open at the sensation of being filled again. I want to moan his name, and tell him how good it feels. He repeats the motion, and I bite my bottom lip to keep from crying out.

He fucks me so good.

I hear him growl lowly into my ear as he approaches his own release. I help him, snapping my hips at the height of each stroke and clenching around him as much as I can. He's almost there. I can feel him swell inside of me. I gasp as the first spurt of his release hits my walls. He holds my body close to his. I hear him sigh and feel his muscles relax under my fingertips. I shudder as he spills the rest of his hot load into me.

I'm still breathing heavy as he releases my legs and my feet hit the floor. I close my eyes and tug down the skirt of my dress as I locate my underwear, discarded on the floor. I quickly pull them back on. My head spins as I thrust one leg then the other through the holes of the garment. Peeta pulls his jeans up over his hips as he leans in and kisses my lips.

"I'll pack up the food," he says.

I nod. I'm overly aware of his eyes trained on mine. I don't dare look away first. I breathe a sigh of relief when he blinks. He bends down and picks up the tupperware I've set down onto the floor and he walks into the kitchen.

I smooth out my dress and quickly finger comb my hair. I open and close my hands as I walk from the hallway towards the living room. Then, I stand at the edge of the living room with my arms wrapped around myself.

"Gale," I begin.

"Yes, love?"

"It's getting late. You got a long drive back to Richmond."

"What?" He stands from the couch. "Katniss, I'm not leaving you. Not with him."

I sigh heavily. "Gale," I repeat. "Peeta's packing up the food right now. Whatever happens after that ain't your concern."

Gale walks towards me. When he gets close enough to reach out and touch me, he stops. I hear him inhale sharply. His eyes dart over to Peeta, then back to me.

"Did you just...?" he shakes his head.

I close my eyes. "It's time to go," I whisper.

Peeta's release soaks my underwear only a moment before I feel Gale's hand brush the hair out of my face. I quickly open my eyes and take a step back. I hear something metal - a spoon maybe - fall to the floor in the kitchen. I look over my shoulder and find Peeta watching us intently.

Gale pulls his hand back. "He's right. I shouldn't have let you go."

"You had to," I tell him.

"How did we get here?" he asks me.

"That not important. We're here."

"I'm so sorry." I can hear the desperation in his voice. For the first time, I think he means it.

"I know."

He takes a step towards me, but I put my hand up. "Gale," I implore. "Right now I'm feeling very confused is all. I would appreciate if you would take your leave for the evening. "

I watch his expression change from broken to calm fury. He stands to his full height and nods once curtly towards me.

"See you Saturday," he says. I nod. His eyes drift over to Peeta. "Mellark."

"Happy Thanksgiving," Peeta says calmly. I hear him resume his task of packing up the food.

I watch Gale turn around and walk out the front door. I don't move as I hear his car door open and shut, followed by the engine turning on. I drop to my knees and close my eyes as the sound of the engine fades into the distance. A single tear escapes my eye.

A strong arm wraps around my waist and pulls me close. I feel Peeta kiss the side of my head.

"I know that was difficult for you."

"I hurt him."

"I know."

"I love him," I admit. Our marriage is over, but that doesn't mean I stopped loving him. I hold my breath as I wait for Peeta's response.

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Of course you love him. How could you not? He was your first lover, your husband. He's Rue's father. I'd be surprised if you didn't love him."

"I love you too," I say as I hold him close.

"And I love you."

"How can you-"

"Stop it, Katniss. I know what I've gotten into here. It won't always be easy. Today was difficult."

"I'm so confused. I just feel so ...guilty. All this hurt because I had a moment of weakness. I cheated on my husband. And look how many lives I affected. I know it makes no sense. He cheated on me too, but-"

"He cheated on you?"

I nod against his chest. "With DJ's drama teacher."

"Mrs. Undersee?" I nod again. "Henry's wife?"

"Who is Henry?"

Peeta sighs. "That's not important. What's important is you should be proud. You made it through your divorce and you're still able to share a meal with Gale. I doubt I'll ever see Rye again after-" he cuts himself off.

"After what?"

Peeta sighs. "When I told you DJ's mother was my high school girlfriend, that wasn't entirely accurate."

"She wasn't your girlfriend?"

"No. She was my brother Rye's girlfriend."

"Oh."

"They had a fight about prom. He graduated the year before us, and didn't want to take her. So she went without him. Got a little drunk and caught up with me. She told me how she planned to give him her virginity that night. She was hurt and she wanted to make him jealous. About 8 weeks later, she did." He sighs. "I shouldn't have allowed it. But, I can't bring myself to regret anything, because I have DJ. Even if it meant losing a brother. Rye packed up and moved out to California before DJ was even born."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because I want you to know that I understand. I've hurt someone I love. When I begged her to keep the baby. When I asked her live with me, to be with me instead of Rye. Each step I took towards doing what was best for me and my child hurt my brother. All stemming from a single act of weakness, which I still feel guilty about."

I nod. "Sounds familiar."

"I'm proud of you, Katniss. For doing what's best for you and Rue. And while you're beating yourself up, I hope you'll remember that of the people affected by your actions are mine and DJ's. And we couldn't be happier having you and Rue in our lives."

"Thank you." I say. A moment passes. "I shouldnt have done that," I say quietly. "I shouldn't have made love with you with him right here then asked him to leave. He could smell you on me."

"Are you sorry we-"

"No!" I close my eyes and accept that I've made my choice. I put Peeta's needs before Gale's tonight. "That's not what I mean. I just could've handled it better. After."

"Oh. This may sound selfish of me, but I'm glad he _knows_. Maybe now he'll focus on the things you want him to focus on instead of trying to get back with you. That's what you want, right?"

I nod. "Yes."

"Just the same, I owe you an apology. Gale was making you and Rue uncomfortable. But, I shouldn't have pushed you. He just got to me. Because he's right. If we met ten years ago, I wouldn't have a shot with you."

"Don't say that."

"It's true, Katniss. I know it is."

I don't deny it further. Ten years ago, I was in college while Peeta was living at home with his two year old daughter. I had no relationship baggage, emotional or physical, of my own to understand his struggles. And his parents were still alive, so he couldn't have understood mine. We likely wouldn't have connected then the way we do now.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

I pull back and look into his eyes. I lean up and kiss his lips once. "You are a good man. Too good for me."

He chuckles. "No, I'm not."

"Yes. You are."

He smiles at me. He looks to the kitchen, then back down to me. "I have to finish packing up the food."

I interlace my fingers with his. "Let's do it in the morning."

"You want us to stay?"

I nod my head. "Please stay."

X

I bring the heels of my hands to my eyes and exhale loudly. "That's not why we're here," I say exasperated.

"It's relevant."

"How so?"

"Did he stay the night or not?" I shoot Gale a look. "Did he sleep in my bed, or not?"

"Definitely not. You don't have a bed in that house."

"So, I'm just supposed to be okay with this man sleeping under the same roof as our child? Fucking you while she's just two rooms away? Or in the kitchen, while I sit on the couch? I can't believe you did that to me!"

"You're no victim here. I heard the things you said."

"Was any of it untrue?"

"Will you stop?"

"Gale," Dr. Aurelius says. "The purpose of these sessions is to work on your relationship as Rue's parents. Are you concerned for Rue's safety if Mr. Mellark is in the house?"

"Yes."

"That's not true. He's just being spiteful," I say. "And this is counterproductive."

"Katniss, let's hear what Gale has to say."

I huff out a breath and turn to Gale.

"What do we know about this bloke? Besides that he's a bit of rough?"

"Oh my god."

"I don't think it's appropriate for him to be in the house overnight. Or alone with my daughter."

"Fine!"

Gale narrows his eyes at me. "Fine?"

"Yes, fine. For now, I won't have him stay overnight."

"For now?"

"And, for now, I won't leave him alone with Rue - though I may go to the bathroom at times. I hope that's all right with you."

"Don't patronise me."

"Don't antagonize me. What you'll find here is Peeta, who is a father himself, won't do anything to make you uncomfortable."

"Besides fuck my wife?"

"I ain't your wife. Now can we please get back to the issue at hand?" Gale stares blankly at me. "Rue's schedule."

Gale sinks into the couch. "I don't think she wants me to do any more-"

"Of course she does."

"You heard what she said at thanksgiving."

"I did. I heard what you said too."

"What?"

"You're going about it the wrong way. Showing up to the Abbot girl's birthday party when you've missed 4 of hers ain't the right way to rebuild her trust."

"I didn't look at it that way."

"Well, she does. And you need to start seeing things from her point of view."

A minute passes as Dr. Aurelius scribbles on his notepad. Then he turns the page and continues writing. We must be more dysfunctional than I realized.

"Maybe you could come by for dinner. Maybe Wednesdays?"

"I'm usually at the gym on Wednesdays."

I suck my teeth at him. "You see what I mean? It's always something. Nothing's changed."

"What's wrong with Tuesdays?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Nothing. We've been having a girl's afternoon with DJ, then Peeta comes over and we all eat dinner. You're welcome to join us, of course."

"Interesting, Katniss," Dr. Aurelius interrupts. I pull my eyes from Gale and look at him. "So you have a relationship with Mr. Mellark's daughter?"

"Yes, I do. And DJ and Rue have gotten close. They ride together at Sae's."

"So if I want to see my family on Tuesdays, I'll have to share with Mellark? What rubbish!"

"Stop it."

"I'm tired of having to look into the eyes of the men you fuck!"

My jaw drops. Wow. That actually ...hurt.

"First I have to deal with Thom, now this!"

"We're getting far off topic here," Dr. Aurelius chimes in. But we ignore him.

"I'm sick of your high falutin accusations!"

"Come again?"

"You jaw on like I don't have to deal with the people you cheated on me with?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Madge Undersee is the drama teacher at the middle school."

"So?"

"DJ goes to the middle school. I've crossed paths with her. She called me Mrs. Hawthorne in front of a group of people who know I'm seeing Peeta."

Gale laughs a little. I narrow my eyes.

"And I called her Mrs. Undersee. _Mrs._ You make a habit of fucking married women?"

"What bothers you, Katniss? That someone else wanted me?"

"Don't flatter yourself. She was still wearing her wedding ring last I saw her."

"And I'm still wearing mine," he says spinning the worn platinum band on his finger.

"I don't think that's healthy but, hey! Do you."

"Enough!" Dr. Aurelius says with authority. Gale and I both look in his direction. "I'd like to hear more about DJ."

"Bratty little ankle biter," Gale mutters under his breath.

"You ain't exactly been cordial to her. You attack her father in front of her with every other word that comes out your mouth."

Dr. Aurelius leans forward as he speaks. "I do believe a certain level of decorum in the presence of the children would be helpful in this situation. Especially if DJ is someone Rue has grown attached to."

Gale reaches across the couch and his index finger touches my arm. I pull away. "You're right," he says.

Dr. Aurelius raises his eyebrows for only a moment, but I don't miss it. I'm just as amazed to hear those words from Gale's mouth.

"Why don't we end here today?"

Good call, doc.

X

Of course Glimmer Abbott would rent out the entire place. It's not enough to just plan a normal party for a 6 year old. The activity is ice skating. But, the theme of course is Monster High, which I personally don't find appropriate for this age. But, at least picking something trendy makes for easy birthday present shopping. Rue and I enter the Main Street Arena, gift in hand - a Draculaura doll, which I'm sure will be lost in a sea of other gifts. Thank goodness for gift receipts.

We quickly spot Prim and Posy and I take note that Rory has opted to sit this one out. Odds are, he's with Gale. Rue and I greet Prim and Posy with hugs. Then, Prim and I watch as the girls scamper off to join the rest of the children, who are lacing up their skates.

"Where's Rory?" I ask once the girls are out of earshot. Prim responds by giving me a knowing look.

"Did you want to skate?" she asks me.

"Maybe later."

She nods. "So...how was therapy today?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. I don't think Gale understands why we're going."

"Why are you going?"

"My lawyer suggested it. It'll look good when we go to court for Rue's custody."

Prim nods. "I don't know if I agree."

"Huh?"

"Just my two cents, but Gale seems to take your wanting to go to therapy as meaning you want to work on your relationship."

"I do. As Rue's parents."

"That's not what he thinks."

"We need help. We need to learn how to parent her without being together."

"I get that. I just think maybe the same time slot with the same therapist is sending mixed signals."

I nod my had as I process her words. "I think I need some air."

"Sure. But, hurry up, don't ditch me in here with these women."

I step outside of the banquet hall and lean against the wall just inside of the entrance.

"Hey professor," I hear Peeta's voice. I turn around and smile at him.

"Baker. What are you doing here?"

"Just finished setting up the cake."

"Oh, right. I forgot." Not sure how I managed to forget that. I walked right by the thing this morning.

"I'm headed back to the bakery now."

"Who's working today?"

"DJ and Bristel. Would you and Rue like to come by later?"

"Very much. Thank you."

His hand cups my jaw and he kisses me once on the cheek. He pulls away just far enough to meet my eyes.

"Rough morning?"

I did wake up this morning with his arms wrapped around me. "Part of it."

"I'm sorry."

Then he leans in again and kisses my lips. I part my lips and our open mouths move against each other. I reach my hand around his waist and pull him closer.

"Ahem," I hear someone clear their throat and Peeta pulls his lips from mine.

"Mr. Mellark, I was wondering if you might have a spare cake knife before you go? We would return it to you of course."

"That's not a problem Mrs. Abbot. I'll fetch it for you, leave it by the cake."

He looks into my eyes for a moment before he releases me and he walks into another room.

I smile at Glimmer and begin to make my way back towards the party.

"Katniss, darlin."

Damn it.

"Would you mind being more discreet with your affairs? We are in the middle of my daughter's party. What if one of the children had seen?"

"I wasn't, and I'm not. I mean..." I struggle over what to correct first.

"It's fine. I was thinking of making a move on him, myself."

"What?"

"Good to know he's still not opposed to seeing married women," she winks at me.

I grimace at that. "Glimmer, I'm not having an affair with him. And he's not-"

"Oh of course you're not." She waves her hand dismissively, as she turns away from me. "I won't mention a thing to Gale."

I put my hand on her shoulder and she turns back around."Did you? Before?" She shrugs he shoulders a bit. "Gale and I are di-"

"Mommy! I want to ice skate RIGHT NOW!"

Well that was a disgusting noise.

"Coming, Clove," she says sweetly back to her daughter. "Katniss, we can have girl time later, alright?"

I open my mouth to object. But I'm at a little girl's birthday party. I won't insist upon discussing my love life here. Not with Glimmer Abbott. So I nod.

Before following them back to the ice, I glance out of the window. I watch Peeta walk across the parking lot and climb into his car.

* * *

**Rhyming Slang Outtake:**

**So, this was my attempt at rhyming slang. I wanted Gale and Rory to use it as a sort of secret code language at the dinner table. I ultimately took it out, because I've never actually heard rhyming slang used in conversation (except by Don Cheadle in Ocean's Eleven) and I wasn't sure how natural it sounded. So if you're British and this offends, I'm sorry. Thats not my intent.**

**Let me know what you think.**

His thumb strokes the back of my hand as he takes a deep calming breath. Gale's eyes darken and I hold his gaze as his lips part.

"Leave it out," Rory says.

Gale turns to face Rory. "Rue's up the apples and pears all ballistic. And my trouble and strife is telling pork pies about this...dental flosser." He gestures towards Peeta.

"Gale," I caution. Prim rolls her eyes. She and I especially hate when Gale and Rory code switch like this. Haven't they figured out that we can still understand them? Mostly. "I ain't your wife."

"You don't have a fork and knife. Now, leave it out, or you'll get me in right Barney." He hooks a thumb at Prim. "You and Rue will rabbit and pork, mashed potatoes," Rory sighs.

Peeta wears a confused expression as his eyes drift to the mashed potatoes on the table.

"What are they talking about, Daddy?" DJ says quietly. Peeta only shakes his head at her, indicating that he does not wish to tel her. But I know it's because he doesn't know, himself.

I make a show of throwing my hands up. "Y'all keep eating. I'll go talk to her."


	10. I Know What You're Scared Of

**Hello, Hello! I hope you're all enjoying the fall. Here's a nice long chapter. Things really get moving in the next one, so enjoy the relative calm for now.**

**Thanks again to _Lauralulubee_ for beta'ing this 10K word chapter!**

**Also, a couple of my stories were taken down – too much smut I guess ;) but everything is posted over on AO3, same pen name LBug84. So, if you were looking forward to updates of Rerun, please be sure to follow the story over there.**

**Oh and speaking of smut…look up the Venus Butterfly. You're welcome.**

**Please review or send me PM and let me know what you think about the story. I truly appreciate all of your messages, especially those of you who share your own experiences with blended families.**

**Lastly, thank you to _AJLx_ and _TheNewClassicGirl_, who helped me with some British slang. I gave up on the rhyming slang thing, but if you look back, you'll see that I posted a small outtake at the end of the last chapter of what I attempted to write. If you're British and I've somehow offended you with the outtake…I'm sorry.**

**As always, I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

_"I know what you're scared of. The feeling of feeling emotions inferior."_

It's the Friday before the holiday, and my only night to be alone with Peeta. It's late, nearly midnight. DJ's asleep in her room. I sit on the end of the couch absently spinning the globe beside me with my fingertips. My right hand swirls moonshine in a small glass.

"It's hot in here."

My eyes are glued to Peeta. I watch him. He's at the top of a ladder, smoothing over the water-damaged area the last storm left on his ceiling. He's wearing a tool belt that sits low on his hips. I didn't realize until this very moment, carpenters are pure sex. And Peeta is quite handy.

"Yeah, it's cus of the ovens downstairs. Keeps the whole place hot. The heat ain't even on."

He leans forward and I suck my bottom lip into my mouth. I take a deep breath as I eye-fuck him. "I want to give you your Christmas present early."

"Why?" he asks, not turning to meet my gaze.

"You've been a good boy," I reply.

That got his attention. He looks at me and raises an eyebrow. Peeta spares the ceiling one more glance before he climbs down the ladder. I lick my lips as he walks over to me. He reaches out to touch my face, but then pulls his hand back.

"I should really clean up first."

"You don't need to be clean for this," I tease. I finish my drink and place the empty glass on the table in front of me. I stand and drag my index finger down his abdomen. "In fact, once we get started you're going to get...dirty," I purr.

Peeta leans forward and captures my lips. And I'm instantly on fire. My whole body responds to him. I try to ignore the pulse in my center that tells me to let him have his way with me right here. I pull away.

"Patience," I caution. I interlace our fingers. "Come on," I say with a tug. I lead him over to the window overlooking the back yard. "All right, look!" I say, failing to hide my enthusiasm.

Peeta gives me a strange look, but then does as I ask. He peers out of the window. "The back yard?" he asks.

"Look in the corner."

There's now a painted white structure with a pointed roof, a shed, in the corner and half the ground looks freshly turned up.

"What is that?"

"It's where you'll keep your supplies," I explain.

"My supplies for what?"

"Your organic garden, of course."

"My garden?"

"Well, we'll have to wait til it warms up to plant, but everything's all set up and ready for you."

"How did you do this?"

"The folks from Lowe's set it up this afternoon. DJ's job was to keep you away from the windows...The box under your tree has all the info you need to know about growing your own organic produce for use on site and info for packaging goods for resale, if you want to go that way in the future. The shed is stocked with-"

I don't get to finish. Peeta's lips are on me. His mouth moves against mine with a flurry of kisses that quickly leave me short of breath.

"Perfect," he murmurs as he kisses me. "It's perfect. You're perfect."

I pull away, breathing hard, and look into his eyes. "You like it?"

"I love it," he answers. "I love you." He pulls me closer and kisses me again.

"I love you too," I mumble. But, he swallows my words. His hands get bolder, and his fingertips press into my back as he pulls me closer. I pull back again. "Now can you clean up?"

His index finger trails under my left breast. "Go to the bedroom. Get undressed and lay in the bed. I'll be there directly."

"Yes sir."

I lay in Peeta's bed, under the flannel sheets and comforter. I wait for him. He walks into the room, only a moment after I begin to feel impatient. I prop myself up on my elbows as I watch him. He's got a towel around his waist and his skin is still glistening wet from his shower. He shuts the door behind him. He pulls the towel from his waist and hangs it on a hook on the back of the door. Then he pulls something out of his top drawer. He approaches the bed, lifts up the sheet and he nods his approval at my state of undress.

"Good girl," he whispers as he climbs into bed with me.

He pulls my body to the center of the bed and rolls to hover over me. He leans down and kisses my lips only once before his lips leave a trail down my neck. His right hand moves to my breast and he flicks my nipple with his thumb. I want him to give the same attention to my left side, but he's still clutching something in his other hand.

I open my mouth to ask him what he's holding when I feel his lips close around my exposed nipple. He sucks my sensitive flesh, flicking his tongue back and forth against it. I inhale sharply as I look down at him. He releases my breast with a wet popping sound.

"Do you like that?" he asks.

"Yes," I breathe.

"Is it making you wet?" his hand leaves my breast and I feel his fingers push my thighs open and run along my slit.

I nod. "Y-yes," I stutter. I'm wet from watching him, from kissing him, and from lying here anticipating him.

"Good," he says and he brings his lips back to my dusky soft flesh. He worries my nipple between his lips while his fingertip slides up and down my slit, parting my lips just enough to let him tease the hood of my clit. His head moves to the other side, lavishing my other breast with the same delicious attention as before.

"Ohhh," I sigh.

"There's something I want to do to you," he says.

"What's that?"

"Do you trust me?" He asks. His tongue flicks my nipple before I have the chance to answer him.

"Yes."

I gasp as his index finger traces circles around my clit. "Let me know if it's too much," he says with a smirk.

"If what's too much?" I say with a shaky voice. I'm putty in his hands and he knows it.

"Mmmm. You'll see," he moans around a mouthful of my flesh.

"I can handle you," I say confidently. He's building this up so much it had better be something.

"All right," he says as he sits back on his haunches. I watch him turn the item in his hand upside down and squeeze a clear gel into his palm. He tosses the tube aside and I recognize it: lube. He rubs his hands together, generously coating his fingers. "Lay back."

I do as I'm told. I feel him slide down my body, planting a few kisses along the way. "Spread your legs for me. Keep your knees up."

Again I listen. "You have to relax," he says. With this warning, I lift my head to look at him. He settles between my legs and he brings his hands up, palms touching, pressed together. He separates his pinkies and his index fingers from his four middle fingers. His tongue is pressed between his lips as he flutters his hands open and closed a couple of times. "...and trust me."

"I trust you," I repeat. Though I'm nervous now. I lie back down and shut my eyes.

I feel his breath against my skin as he leans in close. I inhale as I feel him slide two...no... It's definitely more than two fingers into my center. My eyes fly open and my body tenses and I feel intrusion pressed against my back hole. I feel vulnerable as he slowly penetrates me, like he's holding me wholly in the palm of his hand. And he is.

"Relax," he reminds me.

I exhale through my mouth as I attempt to relax my body. "That's better," he says. I feel two fingers close around my clit, pinching it slightly. And then his fingers begin to move.

"Oh my god," I gasp as my entire abdomen tenses. He starts slowly, but I'm instantly overwhelmed with sensation. His fingers are moving in and out of me, but I never feel empty. It feels like they're reaching impossibly deep, and he's rolling my clit. How the hell is he doing all of that at once?

"What... How..." I lift my head and try to see what he's doing.

"Tell me how it feels." He's clearly enjoying watching me writhe.

"It feels... so..." I try to find the words. I try to describe the full feeling of his fingers stimulating by back hole, the delicious friction he's sending through my center, the pressure on my clit. This feeling is addictive. "...perfect."

"You're perfect,' he repeats.

The sensation gets stronger and I feel my walls contract mildly, irregularly. I don't fall over the edge. "Peeta!" I cry as his hands move faster and I feel my orgasm quickly approach. The pleasure comes in waves. I'm trapped, suspended in this cycle. I bring the heels of my hands to cover my eyes. I'm gasping with every breath. What is he doing to me?

"You're so wet. It must feel good."

"It does," I say as I feel another wave of pleasure approach. A layer of sweat erupts on my skin and chills shoot down my spine.

"Tell me how it feels."

"What?"

"Tell me how this..." My eyes fly open. Did he just lick my clit? "...feels."

"Did you just-"

"Did you like that?"

"God, yes!...Peeta!" I cry with a particularly strong contraction of my walls around him.

"I felt that one. You liked it didn't you?"

"Yes! I'm gonna..." But then I don't. My thighs are quivering, so I lift up my hips and press my heels into the mattress.

"Tell me how it feels," he instructs again.

" Like ...you're doing so many things. Like I'm cumming..." but I'm not. Am I?

"I wish you could see what I see," he says. "You're so beautiful. So sexy."

"Peeta, I want to cum," I moan. My muscles are tense. I feel like I'm there. Almost there.

"You want me to stop?"

"Not stop. Finish. I'm close," I whine. My clit is throbbing so hard its almost painful.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"Yes! Please!" I beg. I actually beg. "Make me cum!"

"Yes ma'am." His fingers leave my clit and I feel his mouth close on my sex. He sucks my clit in between his lips and he flicks his tongue against it. His fingers slide in and out of me again and I lose control. I throw my head back and grab two fistfuls of the sheet beneath me. My body shakes with sensation, with absolute pleasure as I finally come undone. I moan his name - I try to, but soon my words don't even make sense to me.

I'm still floating. I barely feel him withdraw his fingers from me as he lifts my legs and places my ankles over his shoulders.

"How'd you do that?"

"Do what?" Peeta says with a chuckle. He knows damn well what he did.

"I've never cum so hard in my life."

"Is that a fact?"

"Uh-huh," I begin. I open my eyes. I want to tell him how much I want him to fuck me. But when I see him I'm so turned by the sight of him, mouth wet with my desire, dark lust filled eyes, positioning himself at my entrance, that I fall apart again. My jaw hangs open and I hold my breath. My walls are already contracting as he enters me.

"Damn." He hisses as he pushes into me. "You're-"

"Uh-huh!" I moan.

He leans forward, pressing the tops of my thighs to my chest and he plows into me. He kisses my lips, swallowing my incessant moans and completing our connection. His tongue slips into my mouth as his hands find the flesh of my ass. He thrusts into me, reaching so deep inside that all I can do is moan.

This fucking is decadent.

He looks down at me. I slide my legs down and wrap them around his waist. "I love your legs around me like this. I can feel how bad you want it."

"Yes!" I cry as he rolls his hips against mine.

"Say it, Katniss."

"I want it. I want you. Fuck me harder!" The rhythm changes as Peeta presses deeper into me. "Yes!" I cry. I feel that twisting in my abdomen again.

"Fuck," he pants.

Too soon he pulls away, pulls out of me and the space between us is too much.

"Turn over," he demands.

His voice is husky and authoritative. It would make me wet if I weren't already dripping like I've sprung a leak. I flip over, grabbing a pillow and pushing it under my hips before leaning forward so my stomach meets the sheets. I reach back, and Peeta interlaces his fingers with mine as he spreads my legs wider with his knee. His free hand traces over the curve of my ass before he enters me again.

"Ohhh!"

He pushes my hair aside and I feel his breath hot on the back of my neck. His thrusts are shallow and quick. I shut my eyes. He fills me, radiating pleasure through my body and out of my fingers and toes.

"You're gripping me," he pants. "You feel so good."

His hand snakes around and his fingertips find my clit. I nod against the bed sheet as he rolls it between his thumb and forefinger. And I fall apart again. It's faster this time, doesn't last as long, but I'm still left gasping for breath as he moves inside of me. My hips buck involuntarily with the aftershocks of my multiple orgasms.

I hear Peeta grunt. "That's it. Katniss, yes!" he moans as he moves.

He spills himself inside of me with a few deep thrusts. I feel his sweat drop onto my back and his fingers dig into my hip. His body is frozen in rapture above me, behind me, inside of me.

He's breathing heavy when he slumps against me. He pants against my skin while I whimper and moan, still trying to calm myself down. "I couldn't hold it back anymore," he sighs as he rolls off of me.

I roll onto my side and will my breathing to even out. I look at the clock on the side of the bed. It's nearly two a.m. Has he really been fucking me for two hours?

"It's late," he says. His voice is thick. He's calm, sated. I feel his arm drape over my middle and he buries my face in his neck.

"That was amazing," I finally manage, still wiggling my hips. My over-sensitive clit sends small waves through my body with every breath I take.

Peeta chuckles behind me. "Yes it was."

"How did you last so long?"

"Careful planning and preparation." I look over my shoulder and give him a look. "Jerked off in the shower," he says with a shrug.

"I could've helped you with that," I say with a laugh.

"You did. I just thought of you, laying here, waiting for me to come fuck you. The faces you would make when I did. You're so beautiful when you cum." He presses his hips against my ass. "I'm getting hard again just thinking about it."

How is that even possible?

"The way your body grips me. The way you sound when you moan. The way you look up at me when I'm on top of you. Damn, I can't..." he trails off. I feel him harden behind me.

"You're making me wet again." I press my ass against him so there's no space between our bodies.

"Yeah?"

I nod against the pillow. "Peeta, I want to feel you again."

His knee slides between my legs and lifts my right leg up. We both let out sighs of relief as he pushes into me.

"Feels like home," he whispers.

On our sides, already exhausted from hours of love making, the pace is different. His strokes are slow, deep, and sensual. Each one punctuated with a kiss on my neck or shoulder. The tip of his tongue trails along my skin and I know he can taste our sweat. He slides into me again and I roll my hips against him, giving us both some friction to work with. It feels good, so so good.

"I feel so close to you," I whisper back.

The point of this isn't to climax, I realize as he pulls out of me and his fingers trail across my hip. It's a minute later before he enters me again, stroking a few times, before pulling out completely and caressing my body. I'm not sure how long this goes on, but soon the first light of day is streaming through the window. And I'm finally calm enough to sleep.

X

I extend my hand, offering the quartered apple to Sally. She accepts it, quietly neighing her gratitude. I toss another thick blanket over her strong back. Then, I move over to her trough and test the temperature of her water with my index finger. It's warm, not hot, and I worry - much like I do every year at this time - when she will start drinking again.

It's cold. I tried not to shiver as Sally and I weaved through our favorite obstacle course one last time. It's not really the last time, though. She'll be back in March.

Sae's stables are closing for the season today. The cool Viriginia air won't let up until Spring. Sae packs up the company and heads for her other farm, down in the panhandle of Florida. I've never been. So every year, I watch them get Sally situated and bid her goodbye for the season.

The three months a year I don't ride are torturous.

My phone buzzes in my pocket, the chime indicating I've received a new email. I retrieve it, accidentally pulling a white envelope of with it. My last mortgage payment, after 7 long years. Once I mail this, the house will be_ mine_. I slip the envelope back into my pocket and turn my attention go my phone. My breath hitches when I see the email is from Paylor. I open the message immediately.

I read through her email several times, trying to reconcile the situation in my mind. February 17th. It's a Monday, at 9 a.m. Our case will be reviewed by Judge Abernathy of the Albemarle Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court.

I tense. Things have changed a lot in the past few weeks. No more Saturday morning therapy sessions with Gale. Dr. Aurelius referred us to mediation, a step I've been ready for to take for months. But, Gale isn't ready. And after two sessions, we are still unable to come to an agreement regarding Rue's custody. Hence, Judge Abernathy's unavoidable involvement.

Gale wants joint custody. His current schedule of un-fucking-employed would make that possible. He's been advised to rent an apartment in the Charlottesville area if he wants that. He claims he's looking into it. Financial jobs in Charlottesville pay half of what he'd get in the city, but he claims these are lifestyle changes he's willing to make for Rue.

I call bullshit.

Gale _has_ been more attentive since he got laid off. Or since we got divorced. I'm not sure which. But even still, I plan to request full custody of Rue. Her current schedule needn't be upset based on Gale's latest whim. What happens when he tires of suburban life? Or of PTA meetings? These things will still have to happen long after Gale loses interest in them. Our mediator refers to this a "new interest in parenting" and Gale's got it bad.

Given his absences since we separated, I'm fairly confident that I'll get full custody. But just the same, I tense as I read the email.

Judge Abernathy. A judge will want to interview Rue. A judge, who would prefer for us to be able to sort out her custody ourselves and simply sign off on it.

"Things will be different when you get back," I whisper to Sally as I run my fingers through her mane. She nudges me in response. "See you soon."

X

"Hold still," I caution as I make the final adjustments on the petticoat of DJ's costume.

Rue stands on her tiptoes, assessing the riding boots she's finally broken in. But the girl is growing like a weed, and before the next time she rides, I'll have to replace her boots, chaps, and helmet.

"Sally looked so sad today," she says. "I don't think she wanted to leave us."

"She's going to warmer weather. She'll be fine," I tell her.

Prim couldn't watch Rue today. And, surprise! Gale was also unavailable. Matter of fact, he's not been alone with Rue since Thanksgiving. I wonder if he's still nervous about spending time with her.

I sew a few more stitches. "There. You make a lovely Aldonza."

"You look really pretty," Rue agrees.

DJ looks down at herself and smiles. "It fits," she says.

"Of course it fits. I made it just for you. Go look in the mirror," I encourage. DJ and Rue move over to the large mirrored area of the auditorium.

I walk over to the curtain separating the dressing areas. "How're you doing in there, Don Quixote?"

"The armor is stiff," he calls back to me. I smile at his choice words and chuckle as I remember that DJ has developed a bit of a crush on her co-star.

"Let's see it, Kyle," I call back to him.

"I told you Ms. E." He slides the curtain aside. "Call me Woof."

I roll my eyes. "All right, _Woof_." I nod my head as he spins once while making a face. "It looks good. Can you move around in it?"

"Yes, ma'am." He makes large circles with his arms.

"Good. You're all set then."

"Thanks," he says as he pulls the curtain again.

I smile to myself as I grab a seam ripper and sit down on a metal chair. I need to let an inch and a half out of the skirt of the housekeeper's dress, before calling it quits on this project. They won't perform until Spring, but at least the costume design will be done. It hasn't taken too much of my time, since I'm a fairly skilled seamstress.

"Ms. Everdeen," a voice calls.

I look up from my work to find one of the moms standing next to me. She takes a seat in the empty chair beside me.

"How easy will it be to tailor the costumes for future use?"

"You'll need someone who can sew. Why?"

"Well, we're hoping for future Aldonzas to be less...robust."

My eyes drift up to hers. "Come again?"

"My daughter Cashmere is a shoe-in for next year. Would you be able to-"

"DJ graduates this year."

"Meaning?"

"She'll be at the high school next year. So, that's where I'll be."

I turn my attention back to the garment in my hand. I rip the final stitch apart and set the seam ripper down beside me.

"Tell Peeta I said hello. It's been a while since we...got together." My eyes drift back up to meet hers and she smiles mischievously at me.

"My money's on Enobaria. But, good luck to Cashmere next year." There. Let them fight amongst themselves.

Her expression hardens as she pushes herself up to stand. I sit quietly as I hand sew the hem of the dress to the appropriate length. I stand and walk over to the rack of completed costumes and hang up the finished product.

"Where should I put this?" DJ asks. She's changed back into her jeans and sweater with a bright pink hoodie.

"Give it here," I extend my hand and take the dress from her. "You all set?"

"Yes ma'am. We should get going now. My dads expecting us."

The thought of Peeta in his apartment above the bakery making us dinner makes me smile. "He sure is. Let's go and head over there."

"All right," she says and she scoops up her backpack.

"DJ!" a voice calls. "One more thing. We still need your father to sign a permission slip for you."

I recognize the voice of Mrs. Madge Undersee. I don't turn around. Instead I straighten the costumes on the hangers and resist the urge to open and close my hands.

"Oh sorry, I forgot, Mrs. Undersee. Katniss, I gotta go get it out of my locker. I'll be right back." I nod at her and turn my attention back to the clothes in front of me.

"C'mon, Rue." DJ and Rue leave the backstage area, but Madge Undersee makes no move to follow them. I hear her shift her weight from one foot to the other. Damn it.

"Ms. Everdeen?"

I freeze, but I don't answer.

"Katniss?" I hear her take a step closer.

"Don't," I say quietly.

"Don't what?"

"Don't say whatever you're about to say."

"I just feel guilty," she whispers.

I know that feeling all too well. I exhale and turn to face her.

"I know you're with DJ's father now. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry if my actions had any consequence on your ...marriage."

It's the apology I owe her. I'd laugh at the irony if I weren't such a cynic.

"Does your husband know?"

She shakes her head.

"Do you want him to?"

"I don't know." She closes her eyes.

Another dilemma I'm all too familiar with.

"I'm sorry too," I say.

She gives me a confused look. "What for?"

"Things I don't understand."

X

"Girls, why don't you go on to DJ's room?" Peeta says. I can feel him staring at me.

"Rue, baby, clear your plate first."

"I'll get it," Peeta says.

I lift my eyes to meet his. "It's one of her chores at home to clear the dishes."

Peeta's lips are pressed into a tight line as he thinks how to best approach the situation. She's not at home. But, where is she then?

"You're off the hook this time," I tell her.

"Thanks Peeta," she says as she follows DJ down the hall.

"She's not at home," Peeta says, echoing my thoughts. "Does she clear her plate at Prim's?"

"She does."

Peeta nods. Then he passes the buck. "Your call."

I guess it depends on what Peeta and DJ's apartment is to us, which has yet to be decided.

"I'm not sure." I stand and collect my plate and Rue's. Its funny how something so small can shed light on such a large issue. I scrape them both and place them into the sink. I turn on the water and squeeze a quarter sized drop of liquid detergent onto a sponge.

I feel Peeta move behind me. His chest presses against my back and his hands slide down my exposed forearms. He kisses the side of my neck as he helps me work up a lather with the soap.

"Mmm," I moan. Peeta exhales a laugh through his nose.

"Something's bothering you," he says as he plants small kisses from my neck to my ear. I nod. "You want to tell me what it is?"

I shrug my shoulders as I watch our fingers move together under the warm water.

"Just... DJ's play..."

"Did Henry's wife say something to you?"

I tense. "No," I quickly lie. "But, Cashmere's mother did." Peeta's fingers still.

I turn my head to look at him over my left shoulder. I can't see him though. He's moving to rest his forehead on my right shoulder.

"Did you sleep with her?" I feel him nod against me. "Damn it." I unlace my fingers from his and I rinse the plates. He takes a step back and I lean over, putting the plates into the dishwasher. I spin around, and rest my hands on the sink behind me.

"We should probably get going."

He narrows his eyes at me. "Why?"

"It's a school night." It's a weak excuse, but it's either this or have one of two conversations I really don't want to have right now.

A moment passes as Peeta's expression changes. "No."

"Excuse me?"

"You're not going anywhere until you tell me what's really bothering you."

"Peeta-"

"Because I doubt a woman I slept with 6 years before I met you is what's really wrong."

"It is when that woman's daughter is giving DJ a hard time. You should consider the consequences of who you sleep with."

"Don't do that. Don't pick a fight with me."

"I ain't picking-"

"Yes, you are."

I huff out a breath and look away. Gale would've taken that bait for sure. And then we'd argue about things that don't matter to either of us, accomplishing absolutely nothing. But, Peeta's different, I notice as he closes the distance between us. His hands rest on the sink behind me, in between my own hands and my body. He leans in and touches the tip of his nose to mine.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't shut me out. Tell me what's really bothering you," he brushes his lips against mine.

My tongue sneaks out to touch him, but he pulls away before I can taste him. I sigh. "You were right."

"I know. Tell me."

"Madge Undersee apologized to me."

"And that bothers you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I'm the one who owes her an apology. If I hadn't-"

"Katniss, we've been over this." His hand moves to cup my jaw. "You've got to stop blaming yourself."

"I'm trying."

"I know." He presses his lips to mine.

X

It's early, not even five, but already it's dark outside. I button up my gray cardigan and rub my arms for warmth. Peeta leans over my desk, smiling at me as he passes me a small styrofoam cup filled with hot chocolate. "Thank you," I say as I curl my cold fingers around it. I bring the cup to my mouth and take a sip. I breathe a sigh of relief as the warm liquid travels down my throat, warming me from the inside out.

"How was your exam?" I ask.

"Good," Peeta answers. "Glad it's over."

"You survived your first semester," I say proudly. "Two classes with Professor Trinket too."

"She's not so bad. I have her for one class next semester too," Peeta shrugs. I smile at him. I'm so proud of him for continuing his education. If he keeps this pace, he'll have his Associates by next December.

"I wish I didn't have to share you," he says quietly.

"Peeta,-"

"I know!" he holds his hands up. "But a man can dream." I look away, taking another sip of my hot chocolate. "When does Mrs. Hawthorne arrive?"

"This evening," I answer. "Christmas is Wednesday. And she'll be here til the 30th."

Prim and Rory are hosting Christmas this year. Rory made a point of letting me know that while he does enjoy Peeta and DJ's company, they are not invited to the celebration at his house this year. I suspected puppetry afoot and confronted Gale. He admits that his mother, Hazelle, knows nothing about our divorce. He says he wants to tell her in person.

I've kept no secrets from Peeta.

"That's a short visit," Peeta comments. "Especially with such a long trip."

"Yeah, but with this woman, less is more."

"Is she that bad?"

"No, she's been amazing to me and Prim actually. But she's... eccentric. It can get exhausting," I explain. "Did you and Rue need to work on her booth any more?"

"No, she's all set. You'll just have to help her set it up. She'll show you."

"You sure you can't make it?" The Christmas fair at Rue's school is this evening. Peeta and Rue have spent hours preparing for it.

Peeta shakes his head. "No, I've got a lot of holiday orders I need to catch up on. A lot of Christmas babies in this town."

"Well, by the end of winter, ain't much else to do but hole up and fuck."

Peeta smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes. "That would be nice."

I don't miss the hint of sadness in his voice. I move to sit on my desk in front of him. "It won't always be like this, you know," I offer weakly. I hope Peeta understands. We've only been seeing each other for four months. And change takes time.

"I know," he says with a sad smile. "I'm just looking forward to when we can spend Christmas together."

"I'll see you Christmas Eve," I remind him. But he continues his thought.

"And to when there is no confusion about who the man in your life is."

"And who would that be?" I raise an eyebrow at him.

Peeta stands, leaning in and resting his hands on either side of me on the desk. "You're mine, woman." He kisses my lips.

"And you're mine." He kisses me again. "I'll make that known."

His hands drift up to rest on my neck and he pulls me close. He kisses me so deeply, so passionately, I nearly forget my own name.

"Ahem," the voice at the door of the lecture hall breaks us out of our bubble. Peeta pulls his lips from mine as his gaze drifts to the door.

"Nice to see you again, Mr. Mellark," Glimmer Abbott smiles.

"Likewise, Mrs. Abbott," Peeta nods.

"Katniss! Darlin'! I was hoping you would have a moment? Just some last minute things for the fair."

"Sure," I say. My eyes drift to Peeta. "Could you give me a moment?"

"Of course," he says withdrawing his hand from my neck. "I'll meet you in the parking lot." Peeta and I have taken to carpooling on the days he's on campus.

"All right," I say. My gaze lingers on his lips.

I give Peeta an apologetic look before turning my attention to Glimmer. "It's been a long day," I say as I hear the door shut behind Peeta.

"This won't take long, I swear," she says as she sits on the chair Peeta had pulled up to my desk.

"How can I help you then?"

Her eyes drift over to the closed door. "Still sleeping with the baker? Guess he's made his rounds though the middle school moms and is starting on the lower school next."

"I beg your pardon."

"Nothing."

I never did get the chance to clarify things with Glimmer. Frankly, unless she's standing right in front of me or someone brings her up, her existence slips my mind all together.

"I'm not-"

"You know, the parent's association does aim to include wholesome families."

"Wholesome?"

"I personally don't care about your affairs, but other parents might. If this should get out-"

"If what should get out exactly?"

"Your affair with-"

"I told you. I'm not having an affair. I'm a divorcee."

"You and Mr. Hawthorne divorced?"

"And I don't see how my love life is any concern of the PTA."

"But Gale has been so involved with Rue's school lately."

"He is her father. Now, you had something to ask me about the Christmas fair?"

Glimmer clears her throat. "Yes. I wanted to know what Rue and Posy's contribution would be. I still have 'holiday decorating project' written down."

"Is that not specific enough?"

"It could be more clear, if you hoped to attract patrons. My little Clove's booth is filled with snowglobes," she says proudly.

Breakable, non-practical snowglobes. Just what every 6-year-old wants.

"If it's all the same, I'd like to leave it the way it is. Rue and Posy are excited about the surprise."

"Yes, of course. It's your project. I just thought I'd ask."

I stand. "I'll see you later then."

A sly smile crosses her face. "Bye, darlin'."

X

"Mrs. Hawthorne?"

"Ms. Hawthorne," I correct as I turn around.

Glancing over to the Abbot booth, I can see both Glimmer and Clove staring our way from their nearly empty booth. I turn my attention back to the woman in front of me.

"I just wanted to say that this is a wonderful idea. The children are absolutely enjoying it."

I look around at the line that's formed outside of our booth. There's only enough room inside for two to decorate at a time. Posy explains the process to the people next on line. Rue supervises, offering tips and tricks Peeta taught her. She glances my way and smiles proudly.

"Yes, they are. You can't really go wrong with decorating cookies though, can you?"

"And they're delicious," she says. "Where did you get them?"

"The Mellark Bakery. It's over on Monticello. Would you like one of their cards?"

"Yes, please." I pull one from my pocket and hand it to her. "How did you get them to donate so many cookies?"

"The owner's my...boyfriend," I say quietly. It's the first time I've called him that. I suppose that's what he is.

"Well, lucky you." she winks at me as she walks away. I look at the booth again. Peeta really did a stellar job. I take a few photos and send them over to him with a message.

_Thank you baker._

_Hey there professor. It all looks great_

_Thanks to you._

My phone buzzes with a phone call from Peeta.

"Tell Ms. Rue she's doing a fine job. Look how long that line is," he beams.

"You can tell her yourself, when she's less busy."

"Mrs. Hawthorne?"

I pull the phone away from my ear and look towards the person calling me. It's another mom. "Ms.-"

"Sorry. Ms. Hawthorne. Could we borrow you a minute?"

"Sure. Just give me a moment. I'm on the phone."

"Of course," she says as she begins to talk away. "Take your time."

"Ms. Hawthorne?" Peeta asks.

"That's right."

"Why is that?"

"Why is what?" I asked, confused.

"Your name, Katniss. Are you keeping Gale's name?"

"I am. I divorced Gale, but I still want to be connected to Rue."

Peeta sighs. "So you last name is now?"

"Everdeen-Hawthorne," I clarify.

Peeta doesn't like it.

X

"There's my granddaughter!" Hazelle says as she kneels down in the foyer. I swear, the woman is dressed like Mrs. Peacock from _Clue_. Rue looks to me, she doesn't remember her, and I nod. Rue slowly steps towards Hazelle and allows her to pull her in for a hug. Rue grimaces.

"She's gotten so big," she says to me. She pulls back far enough to look at Rue. "You've gotten so big. I've not seen you since you were 4 years old." She smooths the hair out of her face. "You've got your mother's eyes." Rue smiles politely. "And her scowl."

"She and Gale do a decent job of hiding their dimples." I say as I open my arms. Rue comes back over to me and wraps her arms around my legs.

"She favors you, yes?"

"I'm with her the most."

Hazelle walks over to me and I inhale sharply, catching the mixed scent of perfume, milk inexplicably, and old lady. She pulls me in for a hug, and I grimace the same as Rue. This woman needs a bath. She releases me.

"It's nice to see you again, dear."

"Likewise."

"Well, now, show me to my room. Gale, bring in my bags."

My eyes drift over to Gale. "Actually, mother, you'll be staying with Rory."

"Rory? Their house is too small. No, no, I'll be much more comfortable here."

I bring my left hand up to my chin and think.

"Katniss, dear, where are your rings?" I look to my bare ring finger, which doesn't even have a tan line anymore. I open my mouth to answer, but Gale beats me to it.

"She's having them cleaned."

"What?" I say as I look to him. "No, Gale. They're not being cleaned. They're upstairs in my jewelry box."

"Katniss, please-"

"What are you doing?"

He sighs heavily and turns to his mother. "Katniss and I are going through a bit of a rough patch right now."

"A rough patch?" I echo.

"What sort of rough patch?" Hazelle asks.

"Rue, go on upstairs."

"Okay, mommy. Can I call DJ?"

"All right," I say. I pull my pocket from my phone and hand it to her.

"Thank you." She turns to Hazelle. "It was nice to meet you, ma'am," she says.

Hazelle smiles softly. Rue makes her way up the stairs.

"Can I get you some tea?" I offer.

"No, thank you."

"All right. Please, make yourself comfortable."

Hazelle walks into the living room and takes a seat on the couch. "Now what's going on with you two? Whatever it is, I'm certain we can get to the bottom of it."

"Well, there's nothing to get to the bottom of," I say sitting in my favorite chair.

Gale walks over to me and places his hand over mine. I pull my hand into my chest and look away from him. "Don't."

"Mother, Katniss and I separated last year."

"Are you seeing a marriage counselor?"

"Yes, we did," I answer and I look at Gale. His eyes are pleading for me to leave it at that and I shake my head at him. This isn't fair. "Our marriage is over," I say quietly.

Hazelle smiles and lets out a small laugh. "Young love, everything seems so serious. I know it may seem like that dear, but you'll get through this."

"No. Mother, Katniss asked me for a divorce. And last month, I gave it to her."

"Gale-"

"So, you'll stay with Rory, because my flat is far smaller than their house."

"Your flat?"

"And it's an hour away."

"You're serious?"

I look at Gale as he nods, unable to meet his mother's eyes. I almost feel bad for him. Almost.

"Have you thought about what this means for Rue?"

I push myself from my chair and walk into the kitchen. I pour myself a glass of wine.

"This is for the best," Gale explains.

"I don't understand."

"I wasn't a good husband," I hear him say aloud for the first time. I pull down a second glass and move to fetch some wine for him too. The room falls silent as I pour the liquid into the glass.

"...but I'm trying to be better now," he says as I hand him his wine.

"I know," I whisper.

"So, you're not married anymore?" Hazelle clarifies.

We shake our heads.

"Well, then. I believe we can call it an evening."

"There's no need to rush out," I say.

"It's fine, dear," she stands. "It's been a long day. I really should rest if I hope to adjust to the time."

"Oh. Of course."

"So, if you'll retrieve the rings for me, Gale and I will be on our way."

"What?" Gale and I say in unison.

"The rings. They're family heirlooms."

"I beg your pardon."

"She's the mother of my child. She will always be family."

Hazelle ignores Gale and turns to me. "Gale gave you those rings under the condition that you would be his wife. You're no longer his wife. You give the rings back."

Actually, the law is on my side here. The rings belong to me. In the state of Virginia, an engagement ring, even a family heirloom, is a conditional gift. Once I married Gale, they became mine to keep.

"I fulfilled my end of the bargain when I married him."

Hazelle narrows her eyes at me, then Gale steps between us.

"Mother. You're not making things easier for me right now."

Hazelle presses her lips into a tight line as she stares at Gale.

"Mommy!" Rue says as she comes down the stairs. "Peeta's on the phone. He wants to talk to you," she holds my phone out. Gale snatches the phone from her hand and growls into the receiver.

"Not now!" He ends the call.

I take my phone from him. "Have you lost your mind?"

"It's not nice to snatch, daddy."

"No. It's not," Hazelle says looking between us.

"Why don't we call it a night after all?" I say as I tuck my phone into my pocket.

"Katniss, I'm sorry."

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. "Can we talk in the morning?" I ask him.

He sighs heavily. "Yeah." He nods. Then he kneels in front of Rue. "I'll see you Wednesday, okay honey?"

"Okay, daddy." Rue gives him a hug. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. Rue walks back over to me and wraps her arms around my legs again. "Mommy your phone is buzzing."

I look at Gale. "I know, baby."

"You gonna answer it?"

"Uh-huh," I say. I pull the phone from my pocket and accept the call. I keep my eyes on Gale's.

"Hey, baker."

"What's going on, Katniss?" Peeta sounds panicked. I hear him shuffling around.

"Everything's fine."

"Fine like it was last time?"

"No. Not like last time." I watch the guilt rise on Gale's face as Hazelle gives him a stern look.

"My coat's already on. I can be there in ten."

"That's not necessary. Gale's leaving. ...I'll call you back in 5 minutes."

I hear Peeta sigh. "5, Katniss," he echoes. "Or I'm coming over."

I end the call and slide the phone back into my pocket. Then I walk with her over to the foyer. I pick up Hazelle's coat and hold it open for her.

"Nice to see you, Hazelle. We'll see you Wednesday for Christmas, all right?" I'm eager for them to leave. But, I try not to show it. I don't do a very good job.

Hazelle looks at me with an understanding that wasn't in her eyes a few minutes ago. "Yes, dear." She allows me to put her coat on her.

Gale escorts her out and I shut the door behind them.

"Don't forget to call Peeta," Rue says as she walks over to her desk. She sifts through one of the drawers.

I slide my phone out of my pocket to call Peeta back. But then I hear a knock at the door. I open the door and Gale steps back inside.

"Can we talk for a minute?"

"About what?"

"That wasn't how I planned for things to go."

"You ain't just whistling Dixie."

"Come again?"

"I didn't realize when you wanted to tell her in person that you meant for me to do it." I wrap my arms around myself.

"I'm sorry."

"You can't keep doing this to me."

"Doing what?"

"You're still putting me through the same shit. We're divorced. That was supposed to change something." I look over to Rue, then back to Gale. "I shouldn't have been a part of that. That wasn't fair."

"You're right." He puts a hand over mine and I pull away.

"Can you just not touch me? Please."

He takes a step forward. "You still want me to. Part of you does, at least."

My eyes drift up to his. "What?"

"You pull away, but you hesitate every time."

Gale was the first man to touch me. It's...familiar. I watch as he extends his hand and brushes my hair behind my shoulder. He slowly drags his index finger down the side of my neck. I close my eyes and shudder. "I know exactly where you like to be touched."

"Stop." I open my eyes and pull his hand away. But he's right. I hesitated. "It's been years since you touched me like that... It's confusing."

"Because you still love me." I stare at him. "Maybe you should think about that next time you're in Mellark's bed."

I furrow my brow at him. "You're a pig," I say as I push him away.

"Katniss, I just wants things-"

"The way they were?" Gale nods his head. "That's done."

"I still love you."

I turn away. "Your mother is waiting for you."

He reluctantly leaves and I waste no time deadbolting the door behind him. I call Peeta. It doesn't even ring once before I hear his voice.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say as I scoop up Gale's wine and finish it with a gulp. Peeta switches the call to a FaceTime and I accept it.

He's frowning when his face appears on the screen. "What happened?"

"Just a talk with Gale and his mother is all."

"So he didn't-"

"No! I'm alright. They're gone now. Just me and Rue in the house." I walk into the kitchen and set my phone down on the counter as I pour myself a third glass of wine.

Peeta sighs heavily as he sits back on the couch and props his phone up on the coffee table.

"I have zero control over this situation."

"You don't trust me to handle it?" I say quietly, looking over to where Rue is sitting at her desk. If she can hear us, I can't tell.

"You know it's not that."

"I know." He's ready to be the man in my life. He wants to stand by me through a difficult situation. But I'm not letting him. I can't let him. "I'm sorry."

"You say that a lot to me, don't you?"

"Please don't do this," I quietly plead.

He scratches as the scruff on his jaw. "Yeah. You're right. I don't want to argue over this." He looks away from the screen. He brings a glass to his lips and takes a small sip of his moonshine.

"Baker?" His eyes drift back to the screen. "I love you."

Peeta exhales with a sad smile. Then he nods his head quickly. "Yeah," he says. He drags his fingers through his hair. "I know." He ends the call.

X

"Morning, brainless!" Johanna beams as she steps into the house. She's carrying a large bag of gifts.

"Damn it, Jo. It's 7am," I grumble. "What are you even doing here?"

"I was lonely." She walks over to the tree and begins to deposit presents underneath.

"What's all that?"

"Just some things." She smiles. Then she makes her way into the kitchen. "I also made some lentil loaf," she says taking a large Tupperware out of the bag and depositing it in the fridge. Funny that Jo is a vegetarian. She's got carnivore written all over her.

"Mmm, thanks Jo."

She puts another Tupperware into the freezer.

"How many did you make?"

"A few," she answers. "I couldn't sleep last night."

"Oh."

So, when's Blondie getting here?"

"In about 8 hours," I yawn.

"I guess I am a little early."

"Mmhmm."

"Go on back to sleep. I'll watch some TV or something."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'll be fine. What time does little mama wake up?"

"In an hour or two. She'll come get me first."

"So go then," Jo flops onto the couch.

I smile at her then I make my way back up the stairs. I grab my phone off the side table and slip back under the sheets. I feel guilty leaving things the way Peeta and I did last night. And I miss him. So, I send him a message.

_Morning, baker. Looking forward to seeing you later today._

My thoughts wander to the other night. To the connection Peeta and I shared. I'm a fool for every night I willingly spend without him. I miss his smell and the feeling of his arms around me.

_What are you doing awake so early?_

_Thinking of you. And touching myself_

I slip my hand between my legs and circle my fingertips over my clit.

_Stop it_

_I wish you were here. I love waking up in your arms_

_Let me take care of you later_

_But it feels so good_

A moment passes before his next message arrives.

_Tell me what you're doing_

_Pretending my fingers are yours_

My phone buzzes with a new call from Peeta. I happily accept.

"Are you wet?"

I smile. "I'm always wet for you."

"You get me so hot, Katniss." His breath is heavy.

"Are you touching it for me?"

"Yes ma'am."

"I love your cock, Peeta. You get so hard, but your skin is so soft." Peeta's grunts and pants encourage me to continue. "They way you fucked me the other night was incredible."

"You're incredible. You feel so good. And the way you say my name. Fuck. I can't stop thinking about it," he pants.

"Me neither. I want your hands on me again. I want to see the faces you make while you move inside of me. Oh, damn, Peeta! I'm close!"

"Me too. Katniss!"

"Peeta!"

X

"Katniss? Peeta? Y'all all right?"

"Huh? Yeah, Jo. What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing. You both just kind of checked out of the conversation."

"Oh, sorry. I got lost in thought," Peeta says. We've barely taken our eyes off each other since he arrived this afternoon. This morning's phone call seems to have us both distracted.

"Well I was just suggesting that we put 'A Christmas Story' back on," Jo says still looking between us. I think I nod.

"All right then," she motions for us to follow her into the living room.

"Be there directly," I tell her, still staring at Peeta.

Jo walks into the living room, leaving Peeta and I in the hallway. She settles where DJ and Rue are sitting next to the tree, inspecting their opened presents.

I barely have a moment to spin his way, before I feel Peeta's hands on me. They wander down my sides and then pull me close for a kiss. I open my mouth and sigh at the contact. My hands drift over his shoulders and down his back. I slip them under the hem of his sweater and press my fingertips against his abdomen.

"I missed you," I tell him.

He squeezes the flesh of my ass over my jeans with a low moan before whispering, "missed you too," against my skin. He presses my back against the wall and he gently palms my breasts. "I'm sorry about yesterday." He kisses my lips. "I just want to take care of you." His hands move to cup my jaw. "Let me take care of you, Katniss. I love you."

"You do take care of me." He kisses me again. "I love you too."

"Come on you two! There's a few more presents to open!" Jo scolds from the living room.

"All right," I yell back.

"They're probably kissing again," DJ snickers.

Peeta pulls his lips from mine with a laugh. "I think we're getting a reputation."

"Oh, all right. Let's do some more holiday stuff." I thread my fingers through his.

We sit in front of the tree, our unlikely family, as we open our gifts. They range, from joking to thoughtful. Jo gives me plush microbes, and I give her a first edition of her favorite book of depressing poetry, "The Hanging Tree." Johanna is floored when Peeta gives me, among a dozen other trinkets, a Tahitian pearl necklace.

Rue throws herself into Peeta's arms when she opens his gift of tickets to the spy museum in DC. DJ can't stop grinning - and Peeta laughs nervously - when I give her a gift card to Victoria's Secret. It's not the gifts themselves that matter, but the promise to spend time together that makes them extra special.

"I'll be right back," Peeta says, kissing the side of my head. "Gonna make us some hot chocolate."

He's only in the kitchen a minute before there's a large crashing sound outside. I pull myself from my little utopia in the living room and rush to the front door, flinging it open. I find Hazelle stepping out of Gale's car assessing the damage she's done to the vehicle when she ran over my mailbox.

"Stupid, bloody Americans driving on the wrong side of the road!"

"Hazelle!?"

She turns around and smiles when she sees me.

"Katniss, dear. Come give me a squinch!"

I step closer and she gives me a hug. She smells much better than she did yesterday. "What's going on out here?"

"That stubborn son of mine refused to drive me here."

"So you stole his car?" I say with a smirk.

"Borrowed, dear. Borrowed."

"And destroyed my property?"

"You're splitting hairs."

I smile at her. "Come on inside."

She steps into the house and is surprised by the sight in front of her. She must've expected for me and Rue to be alone. Instead, Rue is laughing with Jo and DJ and Peeta's doing something fancy in the kitchen.

"Is that your baker?" Hazelle asks as she shrugs out of her coat. I look at her with wide eyes. "Yes, yes, Gale told me everything. Hello, Mr. Mellark," she greets him loudly. Peeta lookup from his work with a confused look on his face. "Ma'am," he replies. I hold back a grin.

"Katniss can we speak a moment, please?"

"Of course," I gesture towards the dining room table. She sits down with a satisfied sigh. I sit beside her.

"I just wanted to apologize for my outburst yesterday."

"Oh, well, that's all right."

"No, dear, it isn't. I know the decision to leave your husband, especially when children are involved, is a difficult one. I misspoke. You and I will always be family. So, you keep the rings."

I smile. That permission wasn't exactly hers to grant. But it's a nice gesture. So, I bite my tongue, and don't ruin the moment.

"I'm sorry Gale put you in such a terrible position."

"It's fine, I'm fine..." It's not. But I don't really want to get into it right now. "How much did Gale tell you?"

Hazelle laughs lightly. "He confessed everything like he did when broke a plate when he was a little boy. His work schedule...his indiscretions."

"And mine?"

Her eyes drift over to the baker then back to mine. "He described a very different situation than I've walked in on today. Rory assured me that Gale just isn't seeing things clearly." I furrow my brow. I know Gale doesn't yet have an accurate grasp of our situation. It's comforting to know that Rory and Hazelle see things better. "He'll come around."

"I hope so."

Peeta clears his throat as he enters the dining room. He sets two mugs of hot chocolate down in front of us. "Ladies." He smiles at me, before turning around and giving us some privacy.

"He's quite fit, yes?"

"Hazelle!"

"What? I'm a woman, dear. A divorced woman too." I nod at her as I watch Peeta kneel down with a tray full of mugs in the living room. Rue smiles her widest as she claims one. "I don't imagine this is easy for Gale to see them together."

I turn my attention back to her. "Hazelle, I tried so hard-"

"I know you did, dear." She pats my hand. "Gale knows it too."

My phone buzzes with a call from Prim. "Pardon me," I say as I bring the phone to my ear.

"She's here," I say.

"Oh thank god! That old bitty has run amuck in my house!"

"Oh yeah? Well, she just ran over my mailbox. Tell Gale he's an idiot for leaving his keys out."

"Oh, bollocks!" Hazelle complains and I smile at her.

"Guess we're coming to you, then," Prim says.

"You're welcome, but the menus a bit light."

"Did Peeta bake anything?"

"Of course. Bread. And he made an Italian wedding soup. And a red velvet cake."

"Well we got enough food to feed Cox's army here. I made a goose. We'll bring it by."

"Does that mean I get my tupperware back?"

"Maybe," she half-promises. We share a laugh. "See you soon."


	11. I Know You Had To

**Hello! I was totally gonna sit on this til next week, but I'm excited to post it.**

**I also wanted to share this conversation between me and my awesome beta:**

_Lbug: So you didn't find it distracting?_

_Lulubee: I'm used to funky shit happening in your stories_

_Lbug: Damn, I didn't realize so much "funky shit" happened in my stories_

_Lulubee: Snowballs, smelling dicks, venus butterflies, wet checking, poison ivy vag, sex against highrise windows, sucking on titties in prison cells, blowing one husband while getting fucked by the other (that happened in Unalaska I think right?), airplane bathroom sex, handjobs on airplanes, sex in public restrooms...I'm sure I'm missing a bunch but you get the idea_

_Lbug: Damn it…And it was Unangan where she blew Finn while fucking Peeta_

**So, thats probably why they took down Rerun…so sometimes I get carried away…**

**Love you all for reading. Hope you enjoy the chapter. I'll be waiting on mail from you when you're done reading it! I expect a full inbox!**

* * *

_"This shit is vital. I know you had to. This shit is vital. I know you had to."_

I try to focus. I really do. But my head is killing me.

"Then she went to sleep, around 9," Gale finishes his recall of Rue's night at his place.

At the beginning of January, he moved into a 2-bedroom apartment, just north of UVA off the Seminole trail. It's a good 15-minute drive from our house, but he's squarely within Charlottesville city limits. He's been spending more time with Rue, since his mother gave him a kick in the ass at Christmas. Rue's stayed at his place twice now, both times on a Saturday night. It upsets our schedules, since Rue and I don't want to spend two nights in a row apart. So, if she spends a night with Gale, she skips her sleepover with Posy. This shifts my alone time with Peeta, but he doesn't mind.

I push my plate away, grimacing at the Eggs Benedict. Hollandaise sauce is a hit or miss sort of thing. Glancing to the side, I can see my braid has mostly come undone. I remove the elastic and finger comb through it, letting it fall over my shoulder. My head is pounding as the headache I've been denying insists upon being.

"...at home?"

"What was that?" I ask.

"Are you feeling alright?"

I nod my head. "Tired is all. You were asking about Rue's chores at home?"

"Yes," he nods. "Like they tell us in mediation, I think it's important she have the same responsibilities when she's at my flat."

"Right. Well, you know she keeps her room clean - makes her bed, puts away toys, the whole 9, and she helps clear the dishes after dinner. Not just at home. At Prim's and at Peeta's too. So for consistency, that's a good one to get-"

"Peeta's?" Gale asks.

I pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. I swear having a conversation with this man is like walking through a minefield.

"That's why you look so tired, innit? You stay up all night letting Mellark-"

"Christ, Gale," I interrupt. "How many times you gonna do this?" I take a sip of my tea. "You're giving me a migraine."

Gale looks away. He doesn't answer me. So I continue to speak, not skipping a beat.

"Clearing dishes is good for consistency since she already does it in a few places," I finish. "She's also in charge of cutting coupons out of the Sunday paper. And keeping our DVD collection tidy...though with you still unpacking that wouldn't exactly be fair to assign her," I say with a small smile.

Gale shakes his head, clearing his mind of whatever thoughts were keeping him quiet. He smiles softly and his eyes drift back to meet mine.

"And if she makes a mess, she's got to clean it up, of course."

"Of course."

"She's a good kid. But she'll try to get out of her chores if she thinks she can. You gotta be strong." Gale smiles wider, still holding back. But I can see the dimple in his right cheek. "You cleared the dishes yesterday. Didn't you?"

Gale doesn't hold back any further. "She was persuasive."

I shake my head. "She learned to negotiate from the best." I nod my head towards him.

Gale raises his eyebrows at me. "Was that a compliment?"

"No."

"I think it was," he beams at me. When he smiles like that, I can't help but return it. "How's that headache?"

"Nothing a nap won't fix."

"Want an aspirin?"

"No, I'm good. But thanks."

"Of course, love."

Things have been better. But, when the conversation easily flows like this, my instinct is to quit while we're ahead. I push away from the table and my barely touched breakfast.

"I should go."

"Already?" I hear the disappointment in his voice.

"Yeah... But I'll see you Thursday afternoon?" Our last mediation session before we go before the judge next Monday. It's our last chance to settle things ourselves.

Gale looks up at me while I stand. His grey eyes are hopeful as they lock on mine. "See you," he says.

"Time to go, Rue!" I call. She looks up from the dessert case and nods her head at me.

X

I sit on Peeta's couch with my head back, exposing my throat to the heat of his apartment. I hear DJ and Rue giggling as they sort through Netflix, choosing a movie for us to watch together. I close my eyes.

I feel Peeta's fingertips trace along my hairline and stop at my temples. He massages simply, slowly, moving in circles. I sigh and melt into the couch.

I feel relaxed around him, safe and protected. And my daughter does too. Yesterday, we made use of her Christmas present, and took a drive up to D.C. to go to the spy museum. As I relax here, images of Rue happily wrapping her arms around Peeta's legs, her fingertips not quite touching fill me with warmth.

And his touch. The way he makes me feel grounded. The way he's driving off this headache. I'm a fortunate woman.

"Thank you, baker."

"Headache?"

"Mmhmm. I'm feeling stressed," I say quietly. "Gale was friendly enough today, but he turns into a monster in mediation. We never get anywhere. And we have a court date next Monday."

"Don't get ahead of yourself. We still have Valentine's Day on Friday. And I get you all to myself."

I smile. "What are you gonna do with me?"

"You'll see," he promises. He kisses my forehead. He hops over the back of the couch, claiming the seat next to me. "What are we watching, ladies?"

"How about '_The Mask_?" DJ suggests.

"I love that movie," I say. I rest my head against his shoulders. I'm tired, so tired. So I close my eyes and fall asleep.

I wake up hours later to find Peeta still beside me, his arm wrapped tightly around me. My head is still on his shoulder, but I'm surprised to find Rue is sleeping with her head in his lap. Lifting my head up, I notice that Rue's feet are delicately placed on DJ's sleeping face. I laugh a little, and twist out of Peeta's grasp, accidentally waking him.

"What's so funny, professor?" he yawns as he smooths the hair out of Rue's face.

"This couch is crowded." I point to the girls.

Peeta laughs quietly. He doesn't disturb either of them. "I swear! Delly sleeps like the dead."

"She didn't lick it up off the ground," I tease. Peeta shoots me a look and I kiss his cheek. "I should get us home."

"I know. We'll miss you," he says as he intertwines our fingers. He looks down at Rue. "She's beautiful. She looks exactly like you," he says.

She does looks like me – she's all grey eyes and dark hair. But she's got Gale's smile.

"DJ looks just like you," I say.

Peeta's face falls a little. "She has her mother's nose."

"And her father's heart."

He pulls me close and kisses me. I pull away and retrieve my phone from my pocket.

"What are you doing?" Peeta asks.

I take a few steps back and snap a shot of the three of them spread out on the couch together.

"Remembering this moment."

X

"I don't understand the problem."

"I told you I wanted to collect her from school today."

"And I told you we have plans on Tuesday afternoons." I tuck my phone between my ear and shoulder.

"Where are you?"

"The middle school."

Gale falls silent.

"Hello?"

"W-why are you at the middle school?"

"I ain't chatting up your fling if that's what you're worried about."

"No… I... I... I haven't seen her in w-weeks."

Gale's a horrible liar. "I don't care. We're just here to pick up DJ."

"There she is, mommy!" Rue beams. "Can I go to her?"

"Of course, baby." I say as I catch DJ's eyes.

"What are you doing? Maybe I can come with?" Gale asks.

"Going to the mall on Seminole."

"That's right by my flat."

"Bra shopping for DJ."

Again, Gale falls silent. I'm tempted to tell him all about how DJ already outgrew the bras we got her last month. But I spare him.

"I'll just see you both tomorrow."

X

Maybe swallowing was a bad idea. I bring a hand to my stomach and try to calm my nausea. I glance over to the drivers seat, to Peeta. He's calm, with a slight smile on his face, despite our destination. He's done a 180 from the ball of nerves he was when he picked me up this afternoon.

_We sat in the living room, him on the couch, me on my favorite chair._

_"I don't like what these mediation sessions do to you," he said. Though between the two of us, he was the one visibly shaking. I looked up to meet his eyes._

_"They make you tense." Again, the only one whose tension was spilling over was his._

_I stood from my chair and walked closer to him. I leaned forward and rested my hands on his hips as I listened to him speak._

_"You're drained afterward." My hands found his belt. "I'm just not sure they're a good idea." I slowly unzipped his pants. "What are you doing?"_

_"I'm listening to you," I half-lied as I kneeled between his legs._

_"I'm serious, Katniss." he said. But he didn't complain too much as he lifted his hips and helped pull his pants out of my way._

_"Go on, then" I encouraged as I wrapped my hand around him. I stroked him gently, and raised my eyebrows expectantly. "You had something to say," I leaned forward and took him in my mouth._

_I've only gone down on two men: Gale and Peeta. But I have to say, Peeta enjoys it so much more. The way his head was thrown back and his eyes were shut tight. The low moans he made as I wetly swirled my tongue around the head of his length. Even the handfuls he'd grabbed of my hair expressed his gratitude. He did his best to lay back and enjoy it, but I soon felt him lift and move his hips. I relaxed my throat and leaned forward to meet his thrusts, allowing the tip of him to reach the back of my throat. Peeta gasped, an octave higher than any other sound I've heard out of him and his head snapped up. I pulled away with a smirk._

_"You're not the only one with secret moves, are you?" I teased._

_Peeta stared at me, his mouth agape. He cleared his throat._

_"Do that again."_

_I obliged. Quite a few times. I kneeled before him, and did everything in my power to make him forget the outside world. I let him fuck my mouth. And when he fell apart beneath my touch, I let him spill himself between my lips. I pulled away, his milky white seed still in my open mouth._

_"Holy shit," he said, unable to tear his eyes from my mouth. His licked his lips, then bit his bottom lip. Peeta watched with wide eyes as I closed my mouth and swallowed, wiping the corner of my mouth with my knuckle._

_"What?"_

_"That looked so...fuck..." He leaned in and kissed me. His tongue slid into my mouth and he explored me with pure enthusiasm._

_"I can taste myself on you." His tongue slipped into me again as he pulled me closer by my hair. _

_"You taste so good," I said as I pulled away._

_I stood and walk over to the downstairs bathroom. I keep a toothbrush there - it helps me remember to brush between meals, or after giving head, if I don't have to hike up the stairs to do it. I quickly brushed my teeth and rebraided my hair._

_"Ready to go?" I asked as I exited the bathroom._

_"Yeah," he said from the foyer. "The sooner we go, the sooner I can get you out of there."_

He pulls into the driveway of the courthouse, still sporting that smirk on his face. But it quickly fades as he shuts the engine off, but thankfully keeps the heat on.

"I can wait here," he says as he turns to me.

"Don't do that. I'll be about an hour. You can get stuff done in that time, right?" I already feel bad about him sneaking out of the bakery to escort me. But he insisted, saying he didn't need to call out of work since he's the boss. I'll admit, I found it more than a little sexy.

"All right. I'll be right here in an hour, woman."

"I'll be waiting for you," I sigh. He leans across the console and presses his lips to mine. He kisses me slowly.

There's a tapping on the window. It's too foggy to see who it is right away, so Peeta rolls down the window.

"Katniss, let's go," Gale says. He doesn't bother to greet Peeta or acknowledge him in any way. "We'll be late."

"I'll be right there," I say as I lean over Peeta and push the button, rolling the window back up. I shake my head and look to Peeta expecting to find a similar annoyed amusement on his face. But all I find is anger.

"I swear to God, Katniss," Peeta complains.

"Peeta, relax."

"He is so disrespectful."

"I know. His behavior is atrocious at these things." Peeta's eyes cut over to mine. "It'll be different soon. I promise."

"Yeah. I know it will." He kisses me again. More forceful this time, more insistent. As though he's claiming me. As though I don't already have a stomach full of his cum. I pull away and shoot him a smile as I climb out of the car.

I walk to the doors of the courthouse, and find Gale opening the door for me. "Shall we, love?" I nod curtly as I step inside.

A few minutes later, I find myself sitting at a long wooden table across from Gale. The mediator, Mrs. Wiress Smith sits at the head of the table and her eyes dart back and forth between us.

"Now, where were we?" She flips over a piece of paper. "Rue's schedule."

"I'd still like to pick her up from school 2 or 3 days a week," Gale asserts.

"And I still believe that the current travel arrangements are more than adequate. She takes the bus to and from school, and it was a long process getting her acclimated with that, which you were largely absent for. There's no need to upset that. Besides, her cousin takes the bus with her."

"I've told you, I can collect Posy too."

"And I told you that Posy's involvement is not guaranteed."

"Of course it is," Gale sighs.

"No, it's not. Why can't you pick her up from home after she's had a chance to settle and relax a bit?"

"And lose an hour if not more with her?"

"Then fetch her from the bus stop! But give her a few minutes at home to relax."

"She can relax at my flat."

"It's not the same thing," I say quietly.

"You think I can't make a home for her?"

"What?" I say. Then my stomach twists and I bring my hand to it.

"Why are we even arguing? This'll give you more time to shag your boyfriend, yes?"

I grimace. "Why are you so hateful?"

Gale widens his eyes at me. "You cheat on me, leave me, try to take my child from me, and you're asking me what exactly?" My mouth hangs open.

"Hold on," Wiress speaks up. "We're getting off topic again. Mr. Hawthorne, I'd like to remind you that this is not a counseling session. And Ms. Haw-Everdeen does raise a valid point. If the child already has a schedule, we should try to work with it. She will have to adjust to enough changes already. Let's not add unnecessary obstacles."

Gale throws his hands up. "I just want to pick up my daughter from school."

"Yeah. Today," I mutter.

"What?"

"That's what you want _today_. But what happens when you get a job? Hmm?"

"I told you. I'm taking time off. Rue is my top priority."

I nod my head. I so badly want his words to be true.

"This parenting plan is still incomplete," Wiress says, holding up the first page. We haven't even gotten through the first section- Rue's schedule. On what days and times is she with whom? And we can't get past it because Gale wants to argue over one fucking hour.

Wiress is done playing with us. She fires off question after question.

"If one of you moves, how much notice should be required?"

"Um... Well, I don't-"

"I moved into town pretty quickly, so...a couple of weeks?" Gale says.

"Are there any stipulations you'd like to add about dating?"

"Yes! " We say in unison.

"I don't want you shagging the baker while she could walk in."

"And you sleep with married women on your own time. I don't want them around Rue."

"How about holidays?" Wiress adds, moving on. I shrug. "Birthdays?" Gale is silent. "Emergency health care decisions? Non-emergency health care decisions? Religious upbringing?" Gale and I remain quiet.

"So you see, there are far more complicated issues at stake here. You've already been referred to a judge, so this is your last opportunity to try to hammer some of these things out yourselves, otherwise..." She flips over another paper. "Judge Abernathy will decide for you. And good luck getting anything that man decrees overturned in this town."

Well, my eyes were certainly opened. And you'd think Gale's would be too. But the next thing out of his mouth is:

"I don't want her to see Mellark past 7pm."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No."

"Damn it, Gale. You and I have work to do here. Work! For Rue! And all you're worried about is Peeta?"

Wiress closes her folder and she looks up at us. "Our time is up."

X

I splash warm water on my face, but it does nothing to help bring color back to my skin. What do I expect? It's cold.

My phone buzzes with a new text from Peeta. He's outside. And I'm relieved.

I step outside of the bathroom and find Gale waiting for me. I brush right past him, eager to get out of the courthouse. But he gives chase.

"Katniss, wait!"

"No," I say as I pull my coat closed. He catches my hand and I twist out of his grasp and turn to him. "Don't! Just don't right now!" I say much louder than I intended.

Gale lifts his hands in mock surrender. "I'm not touching you." I don't relax. I shift my weight uneasily like cornered prey. "It still confuses you," he says. I don't answer. "It confuses me too. It used to be _so good_ between us."

I try to shake away the memories of what it used to be like with Gale. How it felt to be under his control. The possessive gaze fixed on his face as he moved above me, his grey eyes locked onto mine. Much like they are now. I see a small smile spread across his lips. He knows I'm thinking about it. He wanted me to. Damn it. He can still play me like a fiddle.

"What do you want?" I say as I take two steps back.

"I want to talk."

"We've talked enough today, don't you think?" I step sideways towards the doors.

"I wanted to say that this isn't how I want things to be. I still want to come home to you. We can forget this custody battle. We can focus on building a new relationship, from the beginning."

"What?"

"Let me take you to dinner. We can discuss-"

"No."

"Please, Katniss. There's something I'd like to discuss with you." I narrow my eyes at him. "Are you free on Friday?"

"Valentine's Day? No, I have plans." I say as I reach the doors. I turn and push the door, but it won't budge. I hear a clicking sound and look to see Gale holding a door open for me.

"That ones locked," he explains. I roll my eyes at myself and move to walk through the door he's holding. Outside I immediately see Peeta leaning against his car and he smiles at me. As I pass through the doorway I feel and arm wrap around my waist. I gasp and I watch a frown appear on Peeta's face as Gale pulls me close and whispers into my ear.

"It's important, Katniss," he says as his lips graze my skin. I shrug a shoulder up and push his hand from around my waist.

"Whatever it is, I'm not interested."

I don't spare him another glance as I make my way of to a confused and suddenly angry Peeta.

"What was that?" Peeta asks as he opens the passenger side door for me.

"Just Gale being Gale." I roll my eyes. I climb into the warm car and Peeta shuts the door behind me. I take off my coat and toss it into the back seat. I bring my hands to the vents and try to warm them. I shut my eyes and try to relax. A moment later, Peeta opens the door and sits in the drivers seat. His coat joins mine in the backseat.

"What happened?" he asks.

"Nothing."

"You're really not going to tell me?"

"Literally nothing, Peeta. We got nothing done," I sigh. I bend my fingers, grateful for the life that's been breathed back into them. I bring my hands to my face.

"I saw him put his arm around your waist."

I look at Peeta. "Did you see me push him away too?"

Peeta looks away. "I did."

"Then what's your problem?"

"Him. What'd he just say to you?"

"What does it matter?" Peeta eyes me suspiciously. He leans over and pushes up the skirt of my dress. I put my hands on his and frown at him. "What are you doing?"

His hand slides up my inner thigh. "I just want to see if..." he pushes my underwear aside and I gasp as he quickly drags a finger through my folds. "You're wet." He withdraws his hand and sits back in his chair, rubbing my wetness between the pads of his thumb and forefinger.

"I can't believe you just did that," I say as I bring my index finger down. I frown at myself. Peeta's right. My underwear is soaked. Is that really because of what Gale said?

"Doesn't look like I was wrong."

"Peeta-"

"What exactly did he whisper in your ear that made you so wet?"

"All right. So, I'm wet," I admit. "What, you can't get hard for anyone else?"

Peeta narrows his eyes at me. "What'd he say? He repeats.

I'm tired and cranky but I should still recognize the delicate situation in front of me. But if I did, then I wouldn't be me.

"That it used to be _so good_ between us," I say slowly mimicking Gale's tone.

"Was it?"

"What?"

Peeta leans in to me again and quickly slides his hand back under my dress. I hold onto his forearm and stare into his eyes as he pushes my underwear aside. I squirm and inhale sharply as he presses two fingers into my center.

"Was it..." he curls his fingers, grazing the spot only he knows is there.

"Ohhh," I moan quietly.

"..._this_ good?" he asks.

"No," I sigh as he pumps his fingers in and out of me.

"Then why did you get wet for him?"

"I didn't get wet for him." I try to hold his gaze, but when his thumb draws circles against my clit, I close my eyes. "I'm wet for you."

Peeta leans over the console and captures my lips. I respond right away, turning towards him and letting him take control. We both need him to. His free hand comes up. His tongue swirls deeper into my mouth as he slowly unbuttons my shirt.

His hands are suddenly gone and I hear him fiddle with his belt buckle. "Take off your panties," he commands. In one motion I lift my hips and tug them off. Peeta's hand slides up my thigh and his fingertips trace over my slit again. He's right. I'm already wet, much wetter than I usually get so quickly.

"All for you," I tell him again, and he relaxes a little. "You see what you do to me?" I ask. I lean over and massage the bulge between his legs "I think I have an affect on you too."

"You have no idea," he says as he climbs over the console. I recline my chair all the way back.

"Spread your legs."

I open for him without question, resting my left foot on the center console and hiking the skirt of my dress up over my waist. Peeta pushes his pants down past his hips as he settles between my legs.

The angle is strange, but Peeta doesn't ask me for help. He pushes two fingers into me again and uses them to guide himself between my folds. The contact and friction both cause me to moan instantly.

"Yes!"

"You're so wet," he comments.

Peeta's strokes are quick and shallow. I try to move to meet his thrusts, but he holds me down by my hips as he fills me over and over.

"All for me," he growls, repeating my words. I nod dumbly as the rhythm quickens.

I watch him move. He's still mostly clothed, so I'm not treated to the sight of his muscles contracting as he fucks me. Instead I take notice of things I normally overlook. The feeling of his calloused fingertips digging into my hips. The blush on his cheeks as his orgasm builds. And, of course, I notice my favorite things. His tongue pressed between his lips, the sweat collecting on his brow. And even though I know he's trying not to, a moan escapes his lips.

I'd smile, but I know he's hard at work right now, reclaiming territory he feels was threatened.

"Tell me you want me."

"I want you, Peeta."

His fingertips dig deeper into my skin and I grimace. It hurts so good.

"I never had it like this before," I tell him. My words both calm him down and rile him up. "No one's ever fucked me like you do."

And he does fuck me well.

I lift up his shirt and allow my eyes to drift away from his. I look to where we are connected and I watch him disappear into me. It looks as good as it feels.

"Oh, god!" I moan.

Peeta follows my eyes and looks down too.

"Damn," he agrees. The sight encourages him and he slams into me harder. I drop my head back and close my eyes. "Look at me, Katniss."

I open my eyes and easily find his. He's watching me. "It feels so good," I moan as I snake my hand down between us.

"No!" he says as he pulls my hand away. "_I'm_ gonna make you cum."

He sure the fuck is.

His thumb easily finds my clit and the pressure inside of me quickly builds. I lift my head panting as my tongue seeks him out. I feel the tip of his tongue against mine before his lips crash against me. And it's perfect. And I'm so hot. I press my fingertips against his abdomen and feel him work for me.

"Yes," I pant into his mouth. "Right there!"

The spot he's hitting is special, sensitive. Each stroke brings me higher and higher. I clench around him as I try to reach it. I'm so close.

"You feel so good. I could fuck you all day."

He won't have to. His words, so deliciously dirty, send me over the edge. My entire body feels like its on fire as I finally reach my high.

"Pe-Peeta!" I cry. I close my eyes and I feel him still above me. Knowing he's watching me orgasm only makes it that much stronger.

Peeta shifts his weight back and he pulls out of me. I open my eyes as I gain control of my breathing. His index finger finds its way into my mouth and his thumb presses against my jaw. His finger slides back and forth in between my lips.

"I want to finish in your mouth."

I nod. His knees are on the passenger seat and his back is pressed against the dashboard as I lean forward. I'm hyper aware of the delicious scent of our lovemaking in the air and my eyes widen when I see his cock, covered in _us_. I eagerly lean forward and lick him clean.

"Fuck, Katniss," he sighs and he grabs two handfuls of my hair.

My lips close around his head and I relax my throat. I keep my hands on his hips and allow him to thrust into me. Peeta looks down at me, a controlling look on his face. He's gentle, but deep as he moves his hips, fucking my mouth for the second time today.

His moans grow louder. When I feel his head swell, I prepare myself to take him in more. But to my surprise he pulls away almost completely, and spills himself onto my tongue with a determined look on his face. It's hot, smooth, and slightly sweet on my tongue. This man eats entirely too many cinnamon buns, not that I'm complaining. I pull away, but before I can close my mouth, I feel his index finger between my lips.

"Don't swallow." His finger pushes his cum around in my mouth. "Kiss me."

It's a strange request, but I deny Peeta nothing. I tilt my chin and keep my mouth open for him as he leans down and slants his lips against mine. His tongue slides into me and he moans. The taste of us mixed in with the controlled swirling of his tongue is amazing. I never knew kissing could be like this. I wrap my arm around his neck, and pull him closer. I eagerly flick my tongue against his. I'm careful not to seek dominance.

He wins this round.

Peeta pulls away and looks down at my lips. He brings his right thumb up and wipes the corner of my mouth. There isn't much left of anything to swallow.

"Did you like that?" he asks. I nod as I stare at his mouth. I bring my fingers to his lips and wipe him in return. "Good."

He pulls his pants over his hips and climbs back over the console into the drivers seat. The windows have completely fogged over, so Peeta puts on the defroster. Then he sits back and buckles his belt.

"Where's my underwear?" I say looking around, unable to locate them.

Peeta pauses with his hand on the ignition. "I'm keeping those." He turns on the engine.

X

_I'm running._

_I move my legs as fast as I can, but it's not fast enough. The danger approaches, and there's nothing I can do to escape it. I turn around, chancing a glance over my shoulder. My vision is blurry, and my ears are ringing...and I'm tired and hungry, but I make out Peeta's face. He's scared. He's running too, but he's a few paces behind me. He's wounded._

_"Katniss, Go!" he yells._

_I turn forward and run again. There's something up ahead. It's a large structure, surrounded by debris. It's looks like something recently exploded. I'm out of breath, and exhausted as I approach it, a large golden thing._

_Behind me, I hear Peeta's footsteps followed by the distinct growls of something large and angry...possibly hungry._

_"Go!" Peeta screams._

_I look at the structure in front of me and try to find a place to climb. It won't be easy to scale. I bring the palms of my hands and pull away immediately with a scream. It's hot, so hot, and the skin of my palms is now burned._

_I shut my eyes, and try to drown out the terrible sounds of Peeta's panicked warnings, and the animal approaching. Fear takes over and I surrender._

I open my eyes and it's dark.

"Peeta!" I cry. But there's no answer. Slowly my vision adjusts to the darkness and I see the outline of my dresser, and recognize my curtains. I'm terrified, but I'm home.

I'm breathing heavy, and I'm covered in a layer of sweat. I swing my legs over the bed and turn on the lamp on my bedside table. I catch my breath, finally.

"It was just a dream," I tell myself. Wasn't it?

My phone is charging on the bedside table. I unplug it and call Peeta. He picks up on the second ring.

"Katniss?" he says sleepily. "Everything alright?" I glance at the clock. It's nearly 3 am.

"Yes. No...yes. I had a nightmare I think. I needed to hear your voice."

Peeta yawns. "It's over now. It was just a dream."

"It didn't feel like a dream."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

I shake my head, as though he could see. "No... I'm all right. I just needed to know you were too."

I can almost hear Peeta's smile through his sigh.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I have dreams like that too, about losing you."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"You should call me," I suggest.

"I wouldn't want to disturb you."

"Oh," I say, feeling guilty.

"That's not what I meant. I just didn't know you worry about that too."

"Of course I do. I love you."

"So you call me up after a bad dream to tell me you love me?"

"I guess," I say sheepishly.

"I don't deserve you, woman. But, I'm still keeping you." he chuckles. "Go back to sleep, all right? I'll see you this evening. I love you."

X

"You look kind of...green."

I run my fingers through my hair. "Thanks, Jo."

"Well I was just telling you all about what sex with Glimmer's husband is like and it looks like you're gonna throw up. Either you and Blondie have lots of vanilla sex or something's wrong."

"I've had a stomach ache since yesterday. All I can keep down is that lentil loaf you made..." I glance over to the bathroom door, double-checking that it's locked. We don't need any other teachers walking in on this conversation. "And the sex is _not_ vanilla."

Jo smiles. "Since mediation?" I nod. "Funny how your body knows spending time with Gale is a bad idea."

"Actually, my body betrayed me." Jo raises her eyebrows at me. "Gale kind of got me...hot…I think"

"How'd he do that?"

"I don't know. It was way too easy. He's never had an affect on me like that before."

"Ok, so. I don't see the problem."

"The problem is Peeta didn't like it."

"How'd he know?" I raise an eyebrow to her. "Holy shit! Did he check you!?"

"Yeah. Then he, um, fucked me in his car right outside the courthouse. Then pocketed my underwear."

"Wow." Jo nods. "He's got a possessive side. Didn't see that coming."

"Yeah I got a couple of surprises."

Jo gives me a look.

"Peeta wanted to... snowball."

"And you let him?" I nod. "That's hot, Everdeen. I'm liking Blondie more and more."

"Enough about me," I say as I turn on the water and splash my hands. "You were saying?"

"I certainly was. So apparently misses goody two shoes doesn't go down on her man. It didn't take much to make him beg. Or to start spilling secrets."

"About what?" I'm only half interested.

"About your baker." My eyes cut over to her in the mirror. "Oh, don't worry. He's just worried she's gonna cheat on him with some guy she's always gushing about. I think it's how he justified cheating on her."

"And what do you think?"

"Pfft! It ain't my marriage!"

"No, I mean, why do you think she's talking about Peeta?"

Jo looks at me seriously. "You do know your man got around a little. Right?"

"Yeah," I hedge. "He mentioned some... One-night-stands."

Jo laughs. "One night stands!?" I narrow my eyes at her. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It just seems Mellark is quite the charmer. They may have been one-night-stands to him, but he's left a few hearts broken. More than one woman offered to leave her husband for him."

I frown, trying to make sense of this. And I wonder why Peeta didn't tell me this. Then again, I've been less than forthcoming about Thom's intentions –that he wanted more than our one night together. I haven't told him that Thom still emails me. I never reply, so I don't think it's worth mentioning. But it happens. And I'm embarrassed by it. Maybe it's the same with his ex-whatever-they-ares.

"Yep, you got yourself a hot commodity there." Jo nods. "You seeing him tonight?"

"Mmhmm," I say as we make our way to the door. "He's taking me for dinner."

"That's sweet. You deserve it."

X

Rue is happily playing at Posy's and I've still got 45 minutes before Peeta picks me up for our Valentine's Day dinner. I should get dressed, but right now I'm nursing that upset stomach that still hasn't gone away since yesterday. I plop two Alka Seltzer into a glass of water and watch 'em fizz. There's a knock at the door. I peek out the widow and spot Gale's car in the driveway.

"What are you doing here?" I say as I open the door. The gust of cold wind chills down to the bone.

"We need to talk."

"What happened to calling before you come? I told you I have plans tonight."

His eyes drift over my form. "Big evening planned on the couch?"

"I'm not dressed yet, smartass."

"Please," he begs. I roll my eyes and let him in. "Thank you, Katniss." Gale says as he steps inside.

Every time he's here I see him look around, assessing the changes that have taken place since his last time here. Today is no exception.

"Let's make this quick. Have a seat," I suggest. He nods his head as he takes a seat on the couch.

"May I have some wine?"

"It ain't even 5," I grumble as I sit down on my chair by the window. Gale rolls his eyes. "Plus I don't have any bottles open right now."

"Really? You've usually got quite the selection of plonk."

I roll my eyes at him. "What's on your mind?"

"I've got a job offer."

So much for taking time off. "All right. Congrats. What company?"

"The Bank of England."

"Oh. That is interesting. I didn't know they have a Richmond office."

"They don't."

I stare into his eyes for a long moment. "D.C. office?"

Gale shakes his head.

"New York?" I whisper.

"Katniss-"

"You want to move back to England."

"It's possible," he nods.

I look away, trying to figure out why I feel...abandoned.

"Of course, well have to discuss what this would mean for Rue."

My hurt feels are quickly replaced by anger. I lock eyes with him again. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, if we have joint custody, we'll have to-"

"We're not going to have joint custody. Gale, you know I'm going to ask for full custody of her."

"I was hoping you might reconsider, in light of-"

"In light of what? You moving thousands of miles away?"

"The school system in England is-"

"The Monticello school district is perfectly fine. And how dare you spring this on me!"

"Would you rather have discussed this in mediation?"

"Yes! We've got a court date on Monday. This is a very big change."

"Katniss, if you'll consider joint custody-"

I stand up, and put my hand on my stomach, trying to calm the sudden knots that have formed. I chug the last of the Alka Seltzer in my hand. It doesn't help. "Absolutely not."

"It could be good for her."

"To be thousands of miles away from everything she knows? Away from me? During the school year?"

"Actually...I hoped you'd consider moving to London... with me."

"Is there a name for what's wrong with you?"

"Katniss-" Gale's hand catches my wrist and I look into his eyes. "I miss you."

"Let go of me."

"This could be just what we need. It's not too late for us."

I twist my wrist from his grasp.

"Our whole lives are here. You can't expect us to uproot everything and move halfway across the planet just because you got a job. Another banking job at that. So, well see you just as much as if we stay here."

He sighs. "I think we should ask Rue what she wants."

"And I think you should get the fuck out of my house." I stand and walk through the foyer. I open the front door, ignoring the chill, and point.

He smiles. "Okay. I'll go." He stands. "Please think about it okay. Make the decision based on what's best for your child."

I don't meet his eyes. "I'll see you Sunday."

I close the door behind him and lock it. My stomach twists and turns and I make my way to the bathroom as I feel my chest convulse. I fall to my knees and throw up the Alka Seltzer and what was left of my lunch. I sit back onto the cool tiled floor and hold my head in my hands.

I can't believe Gale would do this. I don't know what to do. This whole thing is taking its toll on me. I'm a mess. I'm exhausted. I push the hair out of my face, noting the stringy texture my locks have taken on recently. My hair is pasty. And I'm nauseated. I haven't felt this wiped out since...

My eyes widen and I feel my heart beat in my chest. I scramble on my hands and knees over to the cupboard under the sink and I fling it open. I pull items out, tossing them over my shoulder when I find them useless. Finally, I spot it. I slowly curl my fingers around the pink rectangular box. I don't realize I'm shaking until I bring it closer. I open it and shake the one remaining pregnancy test into my hand.

I refuse to think. I rip it open as I force myself to stand and I sit down on the toilet. I pee on the exposed end with no effort - I had to go anyway. I cover it and I set it down on the floor in front of me.

I cover my hands with my eyes and I will my breathing to even out. This can't be happening. What the fuck good is my IUD? I've only been with Peeta for 6 months. We're not ready for this. And what will he think of me?

Something like this will only make Gale a terror to deal with. As it is, he's talking about moving Rue to London.

I uncover my eyes and slowly pick up the test.

Fuck.

X

"Did you forget something?" Prim asks as she opens the door. She stills when she sees me. "How come you look like death on a cracker?"

"You'll eat those words," I caution as I breeze past her.

"Hi mommy!" Rue calls from up the stairs.

"Hey, baby! Go on back upstairs, all right?"

"All right, but come see my drawing before you leave!"

Bossy little thing. "Go on!" I yell back, not wanting to be bossed around by my 6 year old, even though I'll do as she asks.

I make my way to the kitchen, where Prim is cooking dinner for herself and Rory. The girls are apparently getting a pizza tonight. I avoid the stove - whatever's cooking smells awful. I walk past the open bottle of red wine and pour myself a glass of water.

"What is it?" Prim says leaning over her kitchen counter.

"I missed you," I tease. And I take another gulp of water.

"That's sweet, Kat. Now, get the hell out."

I pull the pregnancy text from my pocket and toss it onto the counter in front of her. Her hand comes down over it.

"Eeew, what the fuck are you putting this on my kitchen counter for?"

"Sorry," I grumble as I sit on one of her tall stools.

"Hold up... are you?" she looks down at the test in her hand and then back up to me. I nod. "Peeta?"

"Gale," I say with a smirk. She frowns at me. "Of course, **it's Peeta's**! Jesus Christ, Prim!"

"All right, all right! ...Shit."

"Yeah."

"Don't you have an IUD?"

"Guess I'm that 1%," I smile.

"You should go see your doctor for confirmation."

I nod. "Got an appointment for tomorrow morning."

Prim's face is fixed as she chooses her next words slowly and carefully. "Is this... a good thing?"

"I don't know," I say quietly. "We ain't been together very long. And this is definitely not planned." The last time Peeta had an unplanned pregnancy in his life, he lost so much. I don't think he'll be willing to go through that again. "I don't think this is a good thing," I say as a tear escapes my eye.

"You've been here before. Look how much you love Rue."

"It's not me I'm worried about this time."

"Oh, Katniss." She walks over to me and wraps her arms around me. "I think you're wrong. I see how Peeta looks at you. He loves you. More than Gale did, I think. If you give him the chance, he'll do the right thing."

"I don't want him to have to do the right thing _again_."

Prim sighs. "Oh."

My phone buzzes with a call from Peeta. I wipe the tears from my eyes and clear my throat.

"Hey, baker."

"Professor, where are you?"

"I'm at Prim's."

"Oh. Did I misunderstand something?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm outside of your house..."

"Oh!" I look down at myself, still in the sweats I threw up in. "I'm sorry. I'm-"

Prim yanks the phone from my hand.

"Come fetch her here. I was helping her get ready..." Prim grabs a handful of my hair and makes a face. "Uh-huh... You'll see. Bye."

"Let's get you gussied up," she suggests.

"I suppose I should look my best when I get dumped," I say standing up from the stool.

"Do you really think that's gonna happen?"

I shrug my shoulders. I honestly can't say.

"Come on then."

It takes 15 minutes with a curling iron for Prim to give up on making my hair look halfway decent. She ends up French braiding it instead. She tries to give me a red dress, but it looks too much like the dress I wore that night with Thom. Instead, I wear a pink to orange ombré dress that still has the tags on it. She makes me promise not to throw up on it.

Make-up can only do so much to hide the circles under my eyes. But, Peeta knows I didn't sleep well last night. Hopefully he'll think nothing of my exhaustion.

"You look beautiful," Prim assures me. "Now go. Don't keep that man waiting on you too long."

Rue and Posy watch through the railing as I approach Peeta. He's shifting his weight from foot to foot.

He greets me with a kiss that the children probably shouldn't see. But when I catch my reflection in the mirror on my way out, I see that Peeta's brought a flush to my face. It's nice to have some color. If I keep making out with him tonight, maybe I can pass for human.

"Let's go," he says as he interlaces our fingers.

X

I sit across the table from Peeta and listen to him jaw on about the Valentine's Day orders he made today. But I'm barely listening. I'm simply watching him speak. His delicious plump lips may soon be a thing of the past, once I tell him the news. So, I choose to enjoy them while they're here.

"Did you make anything for me?" I ask teasingly.

I watch him wrap his mouth around the words, "Yes ma'am." His smile fills me with warmth and the heat pooling in my core pushes me to make a selfish decision. I'll tell him, but not tonight. Tonight, well have one last evening together. Before he leaves me.

"You seem tense, professor. Can I pour you some champagne?"

"No!"

He gives me a confused look.

"I mean, no. I'm alright."

"...sure…"

That's the third time he's tried to fill my glass. I wish he would stop offering me alcohol. He's drinking enough for the both of us anyway. He's obviously picking up my nervous energy.

I force down my dinner. It's a steak meal, and I'm certain to anyone with normal taste buds it's fantastic. But it both smells and tastes like ass to me. Matter of fact everything does. Except the baker. Through all of the terrible scents wafting through the air, I detect cinnamon buns.

I leave the roasted vegetables on my plate untouched and I ask the waiter for a third glass of water. Before he arrives with it, I excuse myself from the table, pushing away from Peeta with a small smile. I walk to the bathroom trying to figure out how to better project confidence I simply don't possess.

I stand in front of the mirror trying to fix my hair, a lot of it has come out of its braid. I eventually pin enough of it back to look decent, but this hairstyle is on borrowed time. The bathroom attendant doesn't offer me any fragrances. The lotion she gives me is unscented. I tuck a dollar into her tip jar as she quietly mutters "Good luck...and congrats." Damn it. Old women can see it on me. I force myself to stop opening and closing my hands as I exit the lavatory.

I get back to the table to find Peeta tugging at a stray thread on the cuff of his shirt.

"You should leave well enough alone," I say as I sit back down.

He smiles at me. "You caught me," he says.

Dessert arrives at the table in a small gold plate covered with a black dome.

"Thank you," I say to the waiter.

"You are most welcome," he replies as he lifts the dome. Instead of the creme brûlée I ordered, I'm met with a Tiffany Blue box.

My heart skips a beat as Peeta stands from his chair and walks over to me. He kneels down on one knee and my mouth falls open. I hear murmurs and whispers around us from other restaurant patrons who have stopped their meals to watch us.

"Katniss," he begins.

My stomach twists and my mouth waters. I bring my hand up to cover my mouth and order my stomach to be still.

"I can't imagine my life without you. I love you. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Short and sweet. Simple and perfect. Peeta extends his hand towards me, holding a ring between his thumb and forefinger. It's beautiful. The setting is platinum. There's a single round brilliant diamond in the center. On either side of it are gems fashioned to look like bees, with yellow gold accents shaped as the bodies. Its…perfect. I try to smile, but my stomach twists and I can't hold it back anymore. With a final contraction of my diaphragm, my dinner makes another appearance. I throw up...catching everything in my napkin.

"Oh, Shit," I hear one of our onlookers say.

I wipe, my mouth as I pull the napkin away and place it on my plate. I cover my mouth, eyes widened in abject mortification as I look at Peeta. He's stunned. Unmoving. I quickly grab my glass of water off the table and gulp the liquid down fast as I can, while keeping my eyes on Peeta. He doesn't move. He watches me in disbelief. I'm breathing heavy as I slam the empty glass down onto the table.

"I'm pregnant."


	12. A Feasible Gain

**I'm back! See, I didn't make you wait too long! Thanks, lauralulubee, for beta'ing 15K words for me in one afternoon! She's a machine!**

**Thank you for each and every review, message, and comment. Your feedback is invaluable – and seriously motivating. And aww, y'all actually care about the Katniss and Peeta in this AU don't you? The feels! I can't! **fans self****

**To answer a faq, you'll find the aforementioned "funky shit" in the following stories.**

**Blend:** Snowballs, smelling dicks, Venus Butterfly, wet checking…things I've not yet decided on…

**Rerun:** Sex against highrise windows, airplane bathroom sex, handjobs on airplanes, sex in public restrooms…and yes, poison ivy vag (eew!). This story is over on AO3 (and I'm updating it soon).

**Unangan:** K/P/F threesome, Anniss action (also being updated soon, I promise. But after Rerun,) The Unalaska universe is NOT purely Everlark though. So, if a little carpet munching is gonna make you cranky, don't read it.

**Thank you again for following this story. Please don't forget to review when you're done reading.**

**And now, the reason you're here…**

* * *

_"Give me a feasible gain. Rather, a seasonal name."_

I hold my breath.

"Pregnant?"

I feel the tears well in my eyes and I hold my head in my hands. "I'm sorry," I say. "I don't know what happened. I have an IUD. You know I do. I just-"

Peeta pulls me off my chair and I come to rest on my knees in front of him. He hugs me tightly.

"We're pregnant?"

We? I nod against him as I breakdown. Tears flow freely down my face and he strokes my pasty hair.

"I asked you a question, Katniss."

I sniffle and I pull back to look him in the eye. "What?"

"I asked you a question," he repeats. "Will you marry me?"

"You still want to marry me?"

"More than ever," he smiles. He looks around. "You gonna embarrass me in front of all these people?"

I laugh as I look away, keeping my mouth covered with my hand so he doesn't have to smell my breath. We still have an audience. I wipe the tears from my face. "Yes. I'll marry you."

Peeta's hand cups my face and he places a chaste kiss on my lips. Poor guy, I just threw up. He hugs me tightly.

"She said yes!" he declares. "And we're pregnant!"

X

I step into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around my body. I shut the door behind me. Peeta's sitting at the foot of the bed, staring at the positive pregnancy test in his hands.

"I peed on that, you know."

Peeta laughs. "Yeah, I know. You clean off Prim's dress?"

"Yeah, but she'll still have my head."

"You feeling better?"

"Mmhmm. Just tired," I say with a yawn and sit on the bed next to him. "It's been a long day."

Peeta turns his attention back to the pregnancy test in his hand. "I can't believe this," he says. "Earlier today I wasn't sure if you would marry me."

I let out a chuckle. "Earlier today, I was sure you were going to leave me."

"What?" he says as he looks up at me. He reaches his hand out and pulls me close by my waist. "Why?"

I bring my hands to my stomach. "This ain't exactly planned. I didn't know how you'd take it."

Peeta shakes his head. "I must be doing something wrong if that's what you thought. Katniss, I love you. This," his hand covers mine, "is a blessing."

"Yeah. Lord willing and the creeks don't rise. It is still early." Peeta's face falls and he looks away. "You know I'm gonna get huge right?" I say, needing to lighten the mood. Or make it heavier. " I gained 45 pounds when I had Rue."

"Oh really?" he says looking back at me. "I'm looking forward to it."

X

"How'd you get an appointment so fast?"

"I made it yesterday, right after I found out. They had a cancellation"

Peeta nods. "Wouldn't you prefer a female doctor?" he asks.

I smile at him. "Dr. Jones delivered Rue. I trust him."

"I've also delivered 6 of my own children," Dr. Jones says as he steps into the room. "That's why they call me 'The Goat Man.' I got a whole litter at home." He laughs. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Mellark."

Peeta nods. "Sir."

The last time I had company in this room, it was Gale. I'm grateful to the doctor for not bringing up things Peeta and I have yet to discuss, like our last names."

"So I see we have a positive home pregnancy test. Let's take a look at you, shall we?"

Peeta's grip on my hand tightens through the breast exam. "How are you feeling?" Dr. Jones asks.

"Fatigued mostly and nauseated. I thought it was stress."

"Well you caught on pretty quickly," he muses.

"Not quickly enough," I admit. "I've definitely had alcohol in the past few weeks. Red wine mostly. And champagne on New Years." I can't look anyone in the eye.

"I wouldn't worry too much about moderate alcohol consumption," he assures me. "What about a prenatal vitamin?"

I shake my head.

"She's been eating lentils," Peeta says.

The doctor and I both look his way.

"Jo made you a bunch of lentil loaves at Christmas. You commented about the folic acid in lentils when you pulled one out to thaw. And you've been eating some nearly every day."

"Oh my god. You're right," I say with a smile. "Baker, look at you, listening to what I've got to say."

"Of course I do, professor."

"Well that's good then. But we'll switch you to a supplement too," Dr. Jones agrees.

He closes my paper robe and moves to the foot of the examination table.

"If it's alright with you, you're due for your annual exam anyway. And I'd just like to check for a few cultures."

"Yes, that's fine." I place my heels into the stirrups. I glance over to Peeta.

"What's that?" Peeta says, taking note of the speculum in the doctor's hand.

"It's a-"

"I know what it is. Why's it so big?"

I close my eyes in embarrassment.

"Katniss has had a child before, a vaginal birth. We can use the ones with the wider bill when that's the case."

"Oh."

"Do you have children, Mr. Mellark?"

Peeta nods. "A daughter. Cesarean birth..." Peeta's eyes drift to mine. He doesn't really want to say much else. I roll my eyes. Does Peeta not realize he's chatting through the exam?

"I'm seeing a lot of fluid here. I'm surprised that didn't clue you in," Dr. Jones says.

Peeta looks at me apologetically. Two days ago, he fucked me in his car because he thought Gale made me wet. I'm actually relieved that it was just another symptom of pregnancy.

"All right, Katniss. Let's take a look at the baby."

I smile and nod.

The doctor pulls a small ultrasound machine close. It's an older model, and the picture on the monitor isn't that sharp. It's not like the larger machines we'll see at the hospital. He retrieves a tube of blue gel from a warming holder and squeezes a generous amount onto my still flat stomach.

"So we just want to make sure everything's okay with this ultrasound. If memory serves, your first baby settled a bit to the left and we worried she was ectopic. Correct?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Well, we'll have the same concerns, given your current method of birth control."

He presses the handle of the probe to my belly and presses down. Peeta squeezes my hand as he watches the monitor. The screen is blurry, but he doesn't care.

"All right...There's the sac. Judging by the size I'd say you're about... 8 weeks along."

"8 weeks?" I repeat. I look to Peeta who blushes. "That sounds right." I know exactly what night this child was conceived.

"... And ... Yes... there's another sac. Congratulations. Looks like dizygotic twins this time round for you, Ms. Everdeen. Or is it Mrs. Mellark?"

"What?" I say, looking at the monitor.

"Oh my apologies. That was rude of me. I just wasn't sure whether the name on the chart was correct. You've been coming here since you were knee high to a grass-"

"Did you just say twins?" I look from the monitor to Peeta, whose jaw hangs open.

"I did."

"Well count again!" I demand. "One newborn is enough!"

Dr. Jones smiles slowly. "There are two."

I look to Peeta for help. But he offers me none. His eyes are glued to the monitor as he stares through watery eyes at his children. _Children._

"Peeta?" I ask.

"Would you like to hear their heartbeats?"

Peeta nods, but he doesn't take his eyes off the screen.

A few moments later, we hear the distinct whooshing sound of a fast heartbeat.

"There's one..."

He moves the probe across my belly. The whooshing sound fades and another becomes clear.

"And there's the other. They're implanted far from each other it looks like."

Peeta leans in to me and kisses my lips. "Thank you, thank you," he murmurs against me.

"I'll give you two a minute," Dr. Jones says. "Then we'll get that IUD out." He steps out of the room.

Peeta moves to my belly, wiping the gel away, and planting a trail of kisses along my lower abdomen.

"Twins?" I say, my voice shaky. I'm still looking at the monitor, though nothing is displayed on the screen.

I feel Peeta tense. "W-We're keeping them, right?" I turn to face him with a confused look. Why wouldn't we keep them? But when I see the terror on his face as his eyes dart between mine and my belly, I remember he's been here before. And keeping his last child wasn't a certainty.

"Of course," I say as I push his hair away from his face.

Peeta let's out a breath I didn't know he was holding and he turns his attention back to my belly.

"I can't wait to meet you. I love you both so much already."

I try to make sense of his reaction. Gale wasn't nearly this excited for Rue. He fell in love with her instantly. But, it's like it wasn't real for him until he held her. But Peeta is different. He's already holding his babies. His hands are wrapped around my middle and he speaks to them as though they're already here. His eyes drift to meet mine.

"I love you, Katniss," he says. "Thank you," his hand rubs my belly.

"I love you too." I smile at him. Then another wave of nausea hits me and I grimace. Concern floods Peeta's face. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, baker. I'm just nauseated is all. I'll be all right."

"Well, once we get outta here, I'll feed you, all of you. What can you keep down?"

"Crackers?"

"Maybe I'll make you some soup and crackers."

I smile at him. "Don't spoil me," I caution. "I might get used to it."

X

"Where's your ring?" Peeta asks as he reaches over and intertwines our fingers. I glance over to him in the drivers seat as he strokes the back of my hand with my thumb. "I just noticed you're not wearing it."

"It's...in my drawer, at your place," I tell him. "I have court on Monday," I add quietly.

"Oh."

"I just want to keep it safe," I tell him. Safe, and out of Gale's sight. This is all sudden. In the past 24 hours, Peeta and I have gotten engaged and found out that we're pregnant. But that doesn't diminish the fact that I'm still fighting Gale for custody of Rue. I can't walk into Monday's hearing with a fresh engagement ring on, however beautiful it is.

"Safe," Peeta nods and echoes my flimsy explanation. "Katniss, things are going to have to change now."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"Of course."

"All right then. Let's talk basics. Where are we going to live?"

"Well... I dont know..."

"Both of our houses are too small for four children," he says calmly. "Not that we should live in either house."

"What? Four children?" I use my fingers to count. Rue, DJ...and now twins. Holy shit. "We have... Four children."

Peeta nods.

"Well... I have four bedrooms. And maybe we can finish the basement and-"

"Katniss," Peeta cuts me off. His eyes dart between me and the road. "I can't live there."

"Oh," is all I manage. Why would Peeta want to live there? Gale lived there. His junk is still in the basement. Shit, Gale. I can't even think about what this will do to him right now.

"We don't have to decide right now. But, I think we should buy a new house."

Damn it. I just paid off my house.

"6 bedrooms at least," Peeta continues. "So you can have a study and I can have a studio."

"I just bought a house. Besides a house that big will cost-"

"Don't worry about that." I furrow my brow at him. "You just worry about picking the right place to nest, when that instinct strikes."

"I'm not sure I want to move."

"I think you'll change your mind on that."

"Why is that?"

"Because you're more practical than that. You know getting a bigger house will be better in the long run."

I look out of the window. A few minutes pass and neither of us says a word.

"Wherever we live needs to be well insulated. You and DJ are heavy footed."

Peeta's eyes drift over to me, then back to the road as he smiles. "You and Rue move like cat burglars. Maybe we need an old creaky place, so we can hear you coming."

X

"Katniss, Darlin'"

Damn it.

"What are you doing here?"

I point to the large sign that says "Pick Up." "Just picking up," I say.

I'm on line at the pharmacy at CVS, picking up my prenatal vitamin. Peeta's somewhere in the store.

"Me too," she says. Though I already know, since she's on line behind me. "So, things have been going well?"

"The baker and I are still together, Glimmer." I smile, but my eyes tell a very different story.

"Of course you are, dear. So…where is he?" She asks. She shrugs her shoulders and looks around. "Gotta keep a leash on that one, you know."

"No need," Peeta says. "I always find my way home," he kisses my cheek. "Nice to see you again, Mrs. Abbott," he smiles.

"I only meant-"

"I never did get that cake knife back from you."

"Oh? Well I can bring it by this week."

"Don't go out of your way."

The cashier calls me and Peeta steps up with me to the counter. The pharmacist explains that there's a lot of iron in the vitamin, and it may upset my stomach. Great. As if the twins need any help with that. I'm reading the long lists of _don't_s on the side of the bottle while Peeta pays for my prescription. I can feel Glimmer watching us. Transaction complete, I spin around.

"We'll be on our way then."

"See you soon, darlin'."

Peeta interlaces our fingers as we disappear into one of the aisles. But I stop him. I eavesdrop.

"Abbott, Glimmer," The pharmacist calls.

"Now don't forget to take this every day, even if it gives you dry-mouth."

"Katniss," Peeta warns.

I crane my head and glance over to the white box with green writing on it. I make out the letters "V-a-l-t-r"

"All right, let's go."

"What did you hope to gain from that?" Peeta asks.

"Valuable intel," I answer cryptically.

I pull out my phone and send a text message to Johanna.

_Mrs. Goody Two Shoes has herpes. Wrap it up when you mess with her husband._

X

I arch my back and move my hips against him. My movements are primal, feral. My jaw is clenched and my teeth are exposed. I roll my hips again and my mouth turns up into a half smile. I'd all but forgotten how good sex feels like this. I brace myself with my hands on his chest, and I watch Peeta beneath me. He licks his lips. The faces he's making are nothing short of sexy.

"Katniss," he moans. He's flat on his back, with his knees slightly bent. His hands are on my hips and his fingers dig into my skin. His lips are parted and his body is covered in sweat as I ride him. Hard.

"Yes!" I cry as I quicken the pace. A fly on the wall would think I'm in control. Peeta thinks I'm in control. But I'm not. I'm a slave to my body, driven by my hormones and desire. I can't stop. I'm too close.

"I'm almost there," I warn. "I'm so close."

I feel him lift his hips and pull me down against him and he slides into me again. I'm wet, so wet, and I need more friction. I rock against him, using the coarse blond hair at the base of his length to stimulate my clit.

"Damn... If you keep doing that-" Peeta cuts himself off and his eyes shut tight.

"No!" I beg. "I need more! Just... A little... More!"

Peeta growls and I gasp as I feel him roll us. I land on the bed, flat on my back. He lifts up my right leg and I place my red painted toe-nails against the cream colored wall. Peeta thrusts into me and I cry out.

"Let go, Katniss. Fuck! I need you to cum."

His weight on top of me helps. I feel grounded, and strangely calm as he pushes roughly into me. His breath is hot against my neck, as he buries his face into my hair. I lick my lips, eager for something to do with my tongue. Eager to see or feel his while he works me over.

"Kiss me," I say, not caring how desperate I sound.

He lifts his head and his mouth easily finds mine. He kisses me, plunging his tongue into me, swirling around with control and precision. My hands are on his lower back. I pull him closer with every stroke.

"Oooooooh," I moan into his mouth the building tension finally snaps. I feel the sensation spread from my core through my entire body like a fever. My fingertips tingle and my toes curl as I fall apart. I shut my eyes, focusing on the feeling of Peeta inside of me and the smell of his sweat against my skin.

It's all so fucking good.

At the height of my euphoria, I feel full. My eyes fly open as I realize Peeta's here with me, that the head of his cock is swollen deep inside of me.

"Ungh!" he pants into my open mouth as he fills me with his hot desire. It feels so good, I can't find the words to describe it. Instead, only a string of unintelligible sounds falls from my lips.

We stare into each other's eyes, breathing heavily. His weight is mostly on me, but not completely. I push back his hair, heavy as always with his sweat.

"I love you," he says, as he kisses my fingertips.

"I love you too," I reply.

He rolls away and lays down flat on his back next to me. His hand splays against my lower abdomen.

"Hey, Dad!" DJ says as she knocks on the door.

"Yeah, baby girl," he yells back.

"You all right?"

"Yeah...'bout to hop in the shower."

"Oh. Well, I'll go back downstairs then."

"Everything alright?"

"It's busy is all."

"I'll be down directly." Peeta looks back to me. "I have a business to run," he says. It's nearly noon on a Saturday. He definitely needs to get downstairs.

"All right," I say as he begins to roll away from me. I grab his arm and he halts, looking back at me with confusion. "Don't...don't tell DJ yet, all right?"

"Um... Well... She helped me pick out your ring," he explains.

"I mean about," my eyes dart down and the back up to his.

"Katniss-"

"Just let me get through Rue's custody stuff first. Please?"

Peeta turns away from me and I release his arm. He leans over the side of his bed, resting his elbows on his knees and running his fingers through his hair. His clasped hands find purchase on the back of his neck.

"We shouldn't tell anyone til after 12 weeks anyway," I reason. "Especially with twins."

"Alright," he says quietly.

X

We sit in the designated lounge. There are two large conference tables, with toys spread out on one. But we sit at the other, a bare table, as Judge Abernathy enters the room.

"It's nice to meet you, Rue," Judge Abernathy says as he sits in a chair in front of her. He's hung his jacket over the back of his chair and he's loosening his tie as he smiles as her. I glance over at Gale, who is deliberately sitting several seats away from me.

"Afternoon, Mr. Abernathy." Rue says.

"Call him "your honor," I correct.

"That's all right," he says, holding a hand up to me.

"No, mommy told me that before. I just forgot. Sorry."

"It's all right, Rue." He smiles at her, but it doesn't help her relax. She fiddles with the hem of her dress. My instinct is to tell her to knock it off, but I bite my tongue.

"Did your mommy tell you what to say to me today?"

"No. But, she told me to tell the truth, and to show you respect, your honor."

Judge Abernathy smiles. "Rue, your mommy and daddy are going to leave the room now and you and I are going to talk. Is that all right with you?"

"Yes sir. I mean, your honor."

Gale stands and smiles at Rue before he makes his way to the door. "See you soon, baby," I say as I exit the room.

I sit on a chair outside of the lounge, while Gale stands, leaning against the wall beside me.

"You look exhausted," Gale comments.

Of course I do. I've got two humans sucking the life out of me. I roll my eyes. "You certainly know how to compliment a lady."

"That's not what I meant. I'm sorry this is causing you stress."

"No, you're not," I say as I look away. "Otherwise mediation would've gone a lot smoother."

"I didn't mean for those sessions to go that way."

"And you wouldn't be thinking of moving to England."

"Katniss... I just want what's best for Rue."

"Do you? You didn't mention your job offer, I notice," said the pot to the kettle. I'm sitting here pregnant with Peeta's children. This will change so much.

"It's too soon to mention that kind of change. We should have a decision made based on things as they are today."

"If you say so, Gale." I smile.

Judge Abernathy opens the door and motions for us to reenter the room. I don't spare Gale a second glance as we step inside. Rue's smile widens when she sees us.

"Rue, there are some puzzles over there. Would you like to play with them while I talk to your parents?"

"Sure, your honor." She smiles as she gets up from her chair. Gale and I take seats next to each other in front of Judge Abernathy.

"I have just a couple of questions, since you've yet to come to an agreement yourselves."

"Sure," Gale says.

"All right," I agree.

"Gale, you expressed concern about," Abernathy flips a paper over. "Mr. Mellark's presence in Ms. Everdeen's house."

"I did."

"Is that still a concern for you?"

My eyes drift over to Gale. I dare him to say something. I'm just itching to play that video of him and Madge Undersee for Judge Abernathy.

"Katniss assures me that none of the men she's dating stay the night."

"Men?" I repeat.

"Is this an inaccurate statement, Ms. Everdeen?" Judge Abernathy asks me.

"I've been in a relationship with one man for the past six months. There aren't any other 'men.' And that's correct that at Gale's request, he hasn't stayed overnight."

"Since thanksgiving," Gale bites.

"Since you asked," I clarify.

Judge Abernathy writes something down on his pad.

"Gale, would you please tell me about Madge Undersee?"

My jaw drops and I look at Gale.

"What about her?"

"Has she come by your apartment while Rue is there?" the Judge clarifies.

"Yes."

"What?" I say.

Gale's eyes drop to his shoes.

"Ms. Everdeen, is this a concern for you?"

"I didn't realize Gale was still seeing Mrs. Undersee."

"Mrs.?" Judge Abernathy repeats and I nod.

"Katniss, its not-"

"And that you have her around our daughter."

"If you'll listen-"

"It doesn't matter, Gale. You should've let me know who is in the house when Rue's around."

"All right, no need to get into that right now. That's what mediation is for. Actually, that's what counseling is for," Judge Abernathy says as he scratches his scruff. "I was trying to gain an understanding of the living environments Rue has been presented with. But...It's clear that Ms. Everdeen has been making majority of the decisions regarding Rue for some time. And Rue's content with her current situation. So, I'm granting sole custody to you, Ms. Everdeen. Do you think you two can work out a visitation schedule yourselves? Or do I need decide on that for you?" Judge Abernathy leans back in his chair.

"Whatever she wants," Gale says.

X

I exit the ladies room and half expect to run into Gale again. But I don't. I'm surprised to find Judge Abernathy leaning against the wall. He pulls a flask from his breast pocket and offers it to me. I shake my head. He shrugs then takes a long pull.

"Mr. Hawthorne know you're knocked up, sweetheart?"

Shit.

I shake my head as I look down at myself, trying to make myself presentable.

"Well. Thank you for not throwing up in my chambers. Sounded pretty bad in there," he gestures towards the bathroom.

"Twins," I shrug.

Abernathy laughs. "That Mellark boy really is something."

"You know Peeta?"

"Not often I change paperwork in favor of the father. I'm guessing that's who's in the car with Rue right now?"

He points to Peeta's car, outside in the parking lot. I nod.

"Funny, I saw a car just like that one out there last week...'cept the windows were fogged up and it was rocking..."

I clear my throat. "Peeta was in your court?"

He takes another swig. "I'm sure he'd be happy to regale you with the story. I just came here to bring you this," he offers me a Manila envelope. "You and your ex-husband scurried out of my chambers so fast, y'all forgot your paperwork."

"Oh. Well...you see why I had to leave so quick." I accept the envelope. I open it and thumb through the paperwork. My eyes fall on a document I haven't seen before.

"Schedule of child support?"

"You weren't expecting that?"

"No. I don't want his money."

"It's not really for you. But if your needs are met, consider putting it into an account for Rue. In my experience, the child support is necessary. It's where good fathers become great, and bad fathers become deadbeats."

"That's interesting advice."

"You want something more practical?"

"Sure," I shrug.

"Have those boys talk things through. And soon."

"You mean Peeta and Gale?"

"Mmhmm."

"Alone?" Seems like terrible advice.

He nods. He tries to take another swig, but his flask is empty. He caps it and puts it back in his pocket. "My guess is you're gonna remarry soon?"

I shrug.

"Look, I don't want to see this case back in my court. I already know I made the right ruling and frankly I don't need the paperwork."

"I'll consider that. Thank you."

"If you need any more advice, you know where to find me."

X

The cool porcelain of the toilet is comforting against my skin. Peeta holds my hair back as my entire body works to expel yet another meal. Something's got to give here.

I sit back and Peeta hands me a warm washcloth. "Thank you, baker," I say as I wipe my mouth. I look up to meet his eyes. "You're getting a vasectomy," I warn him.

Peeta laughs nervously as he helps me to my feet. I use the water from the sink to wash out my mouth and then I splash some on my face. I lean against the sink, fighting the urge to vomit again. I don't have anything left to come up anyway.

"I need a toothbrush," I say quietly.

Peeta bends over, opening the cupboard under the sink and pulling out a new toothbrush. It's nothing fancy, one of the promotional ones his dentist gives out. But I accept it with a smile.

"You can leave it here. I don't think it will raise too many more questions."

I've been careful not to leave too many things, so as not to confuse DJ. I have a single drawer and I pack an overnight bag every week. But now we're engaged and expecting. Just the same, I frown at him. _More_ questions?

"Mommy!" Rue's voice calls from the other side of the door.

"Yes, baby?" I say as I reluctantly put down my toothbrush.

"What are you doing in there with Peeta?"

"I don't know how you expect to keep this from them," Peeta says quietly while rubbing my lower back.

I open the door. "Mommy's tummy wasn't feeling very good. I had to throw up. Yucky, right? Peeta was helping me clean up a little."

"Oh," she glances between us. "Did daddy make you feel sick?"

"No. I did!" Peeta says a little too proudly. I slap his arm.

He walks around me. "Come on little woman, let's give your mommy a minute."

They close the door and leave me to collect my thoughts and get ahold of my nausea.

I glance down at the engagement ring that takes up my whole finger as I think about the coming changes. I've just been granted sole custody of Rue, which may make things easier. But it's all still overwhelming. New house, pregnancy resulting in two children...we'll have to get married at some point. Moving. I wonder how we'll be able to afford all this. My ring sparkles and a question becomes clear. How was Peeta able to afford this ring? It's fucking huge.

He didn't know we had babies on the way, I reason. But, now that we do, I expect we should exchange this ring for something more modest.

I step out of the bathroom and find DJ and Rue in the living room watching TV and Peeta in the kitchen making dinner. It's a simple pasta meal, but it threatens to unsettle my stomach just the same. The smell of raw meat is awful right now. I slide my hand along Peeta's lower back as I move to stand beside him. I take the knife from his hand and move the cutting board in front me, taking over cutting the vegetables. He smiles at me and moves over to the stove, browning some ground meat for sauce.

"So, my friend Finn will be in town soon," Peeta says.

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to meeting him. And his fiancé."

"Annie."

He smiles at me and goes back to his cooking.

"Peeta," I begin.

"Yes?"

DJ squeals and the sound must be contagious, because Rue joins in with her. "I can't believe it. You're wearing the ring!" She pulls Rue into her arms.

"DJ told me Peeta wanted to get you a ring," Rue says. "It's really, really pretty!"

"All right, girls. Let's hold off on talking too much about it," Peeta says to appease me. But he winks at DJ.

"Why don't you go watch TV in DJ's room?" Peeta suggests. Oh great. He's getting rid of the kids. Must be an adult discussion coming.

I turn to Peeta and he speaks, before I have the chance.

"I didn't tell her a thing. You asked me to wait til 12 weeks, and I agree that's prudent."

I smile. "I think she may be happier than you are."

"Well, I don't know about that. But... She loves you. And she's always wanted siblings."

"Well that's good cus she's getting three." Which reminds me. "I think maybe we should consider exchanging this ring," I say.

"You don't like it?"

"I love it. I just don't know how we can afford it."

He sighs. "Katniss, why do you want to marry me?"

"You asked me," I replied with a smirk.

"So you just agree to marry every man that asks you?"

"Have so far."

He shakes his head with a smile. "I'm serious. It's not just cus you don't want babies born on the wrong side of the blanket, right?"

I shake my head. "No, Peeta." Though it's a fair question. He didn't know about the babies when he asked me, but I knew I was pregnant when I said yes. Part of him must wonder if I'm just worried about birthing babies out of wedlock. "I love you. I'd still marry you if we weren't expecting."

"Well...Would you still marry me if I told you the bakery wasn't doing too well?"

"Of course. But... I think we should talk about that."

"You're right. We should."

I wipe my hands on a kitchen towel and pull the ring from my finger. "I don't need anything fancy. We have to consider how much bigger our family is about to get."

Peeta leans over and kisses my cheek. "Our family," he repeats. "I'll never get tired of hearing you say that."

"Here," I extend my hand with the ring. Peeta turns off the stove and turns to me. He takes the ring from my hand and slides it back onto my finger.

"We can afford this. We can afford a house. We can afford whatever you desire...within reason. You can even take some time off and stay home with the twins if you'd like." Peeta smiles widely. "'The twins.' I love how that sounds."

I think about my checking account. Every month, I've got about 11 dollars left to my name once all my bills are paid. And I planned to spend what little savings I have on a trip with Rue. She deserves something for being such a trooper through the divorce. Though, I suppose I can expect a monthly child support check from Gale now.

"How can you-"

"We," he corrects me. I look down at the ring. "That's my indulgence. I want you to have that."

"All I want is you."

Peeta smiles at me. "And that's exactly why."

He grabs ahold of my hand. "Follow me," he says.

He leads me into the living room and I sit on the couch. He moves over to the bookcase and picks up a large accordion envelope from the top shelf. He sits down next to me and flips through it.

"The bakery turns a six figure profit every year," he says as he flips through the papers. "I take a salary…I only keep a handful of employees, but they get full benefits. Eats into the profits, but its worth it."

I nod…not quite sure where he's going with this.

"Uh…yep, here it is." He hands me white papers with a blue logo on top. I recognize it. Metlife.

I look at him questioningly before I scan the document. My mouth falls open when I reach the end.

"Your parents both had million dollar policies?"

He nods. "After estate taxes, its not as much as you'd think."

"You and DJ live modestly."

"I'll admit, the quality of our grocery shopping has improved. But, we're comfortable. DJ works in the bakery same as I did, so she knows the value of a dollar."

He hands me a bank statement. "This account is from the sale of the old Mellark Manor. Sold it just in time. Today, I'd be lucky to get half that… Not one penny has been touched in that account."

"They left all this to you?" Peeta nods. "What about your brothers?"

"Now you know the rest of the story. Why we don't speak. My parents didn't leave them much. Some stocks and bonds, but no property."

"Why not?"

"They knew they'd just blow it… and that I would be more responsible. Continue to take care of the bakery. Raise my family."

"Peeta-"

"I can take care of us. All of us. Our children will never want for anything."

"I live paycheck to paycheck, Peeta."

"Well, you don't have to anymore."

"I don't feel comfortable-"

"We need a house, Katniss."

"I have a house!"

"We can't live there. It's too small."

"Is that the only reason you don't want to live there?"

Peeta raises an eyebrow at me. "What are you trying to say?"

"I think you don't want to live there because Gale lived there."

"Of course I want to be the man in my own house. I don't want anyone else's shit in my basement." I look away. "We should put it on the market…or maybe rent it out."

"Well…what about this apartment?"

"I don't know. Keep it for storage?"

"Peeta-"

"There's gonna be six of us."

I nod. He's right.

"Also, your car has front wheel drive. And with all these hills?" He shakes his head. "It ain't exactly the safest thing to keep around. I've got an Impreza but its small. I think we should-"

"You want to get new cars too?"

"I want to get _safe_ cars. Cars that can fit a family of six, which neither of ours can do."

He's right again. There's no way I could fit two car seats, Rue, and DJ in the back of my car.

"We'll need something with a third row. …I'll have to do some research," he says with a contemplative look.

This is all too much. And my head is starting to hurt.

"Peeta, I'm not feeling so well."

He takes the papers from my hands and puts them back into the folder. He leans back on the couch and pulls me close. I rest my head on his shoulder.

"I'll take care of everything. You rest."

X

"Holy shit, Everdeen!"

"What?"

"That's a seventy thousand dollar ring on your finger!" She holds up her phone showing me my ring on . I instinctively turn the stone.

"Actually, this stone is 2.4 carats."

She adjusts the price. "What the fuck?"

"Shut the hell up, Johanna."

"What'd he do? Knock you up?"

"No!" I quickly lie. Johanna gives me a look and I roll my eyes. "Why are you in my classroom anyway? Do you have anything productive to do here?"

"I just wanted to give you this," She holds out an envelope. "Its my timeshare info. You asked about the available properties…"

"Oh, right," I accept the envelope. I don't open it. "I don't know what travel arrangements I can make right now. Why don't you keep it this year?" I pass the envelope back to her.

"You sure? Thought you were gonna drive down to Orlando and take Rue to Disney World?"

The idea of being in a car for more than 20 minutes is already making me sick. "Probably not this year."

"Well…if you're sure." I nod. I'm sure.

X

It's Saturday afternoon when I hear the front door to my house unlock. I smile. Peeta and DJ are here.

This week has meant big changes. I have sole custody of Rue and I no longer have to consult with Gale about every little move. Which is good, because I have to get used to the idea of making parenting decisions with Peeta.

My nausea is getting worse, and Peeta insisted upon moving the spare key I keep at his apartment onto his key ring. If I should need him at any time, he wants to be able to get into the house.

Peeta and DJ are staying the night. Just two weeks ago, this would've been unthinkable. But, here I am, smiling to myself as my fiancé and future stepdaughter step into the house.

"Hi DJ!" Rue beams as I sit on the couch with a cup of chamomile tea in my hands.

"Hey, little sis!" DJ smiles.

Peeta's carrying an overnight bag. He smiles shyly when he sees me.

"Hey baker."

"Professor," he says as he steps into the living room. He greets me with a kiss and the girls sigh in awe.

"Go on! Get!" I swat the air in their direction. "Rue, get DJ settled."

"I'd like to get settled," Peeta purrs into my ear. I roll my eyes and smile. He glances into my cup. "This'll be your last cup of that."

I look down at my mug with the paper tea bag tag sticking out of it. "What? It's chamomile."

Peeta tugs on the string. "It's crap. I brought you some dried chamomile flowers and lavender. I'll make you good tea."

I smile. "What'd I tell you about spoiling me?"

"It's not for you. It's for them," he says as he rests his hand on my abdomen. "Missed you," he says to my stomach. "You too," he says as he kisses my lips once.

"Also, this is for you." He pulls out his wallet and hands me a shiny new card. "Arrived in the mail this morning." I look at it. A brand new Visa with "Katniss Mellark" written on it. I frown and open my mouth to speak. But Peeta beats me to it.

"I know this points out a few unsettled issues. But for now, I'd feel better if you'd hold onto it. Use it for whatever you need."

"Peeta-"

"Katniss, please. Let me take care of you."

I smile softly. "Thank you."

"Plus, I need the points," he jokes.

He stands, but I grab ahold of his hand. "Peeta, we should probably talk about my last name."

"Not today. Today, I just want all of us to spend some time together. All right?" He leans down and kisses the top of my head. "I love you," he says as he takes the cup from my hands.

"Love you too," I say with a laugh.

He stands and walks to the kitchen. I follow him.

"Peeta?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Um...well... It's kind of personal."

"I have nothing to keep from you." He furrows his brow. "What is it?"

"I just wanted to ask you about your time in Judge Abernathy's court."

His hands still.

"What about it?"

"He just mentioned you being there. Said he doesn't change the paperwork in favor of the father often."

"Oh."

"I got the impression it was before she left." Peeta nods. "Maybe even _why_ she left?"

"She left because she didn't want this life. Ever."

"You had full custody of DJ?"

Peeta nods.

"Since when?"

"Since the first time her mother took off. DJ was 6 months old." He chuckles once. "Good thing I did too. Next time she left, she took DJ with her."

"She what?"

"She didn't make it out of the state."

"Why did she take DJ?"

"To hurt me."

"I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about this."

"Its fine. It was a long time ago. Why did you want to know?"

"I wanted to know because..." I look up at the stairs. The girls are nowhere to be found. "I'd like to adopt DJ."

"You do?"

"But I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it."

"Well, it's up to her." I nod. "But, I know she'll love that."

"Really?"

"Really." He sets the teakettle on the stove. Then he turns back to me. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For loving her too."

"Don't thank me for that. You love Rue."

"I sure do," he smiles. "But she's younger. It's...easier."

"Easier?"

"We'll maybe not easier...simpler I guess, in a way. Though its not like we have to deal with boys for DJ yet."

I smile and look away.

"What the hell, Katniss?"

"It's nothing to worry about, baker. She's just got a little crush is all."

"I'll kill him."

"That might be why you don't know about it."

Peeta's face softens. "You came along at just the right time, didn't you?"

"To temper your crazy? Yeah, I think so."

X

"What the fuck is that?"

I look around the small cafe. All eyes are on us. Rue's mouth hangs open...I may be on the receiving end of Gale's anger a ton, but she's rarely exposed to it. Even with that huge issue back when I filed for divorce, she missed the actual fireworks.

"Sit down," I implore. "People are staring."

Rue moves over to me. She doesn't like his tone.

Gale is trembling. Actually trembling as he shakes his head at me. "Absolutely not! Tell me what that is!" he roughly grabs my wrist and looks at my ring finger. I twist away from his grasp.

"You know what it is," I tell him.

He leans forward, resting his hands on the table between us. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I don't answer him. "Katniss, don't do this to me."

"Gale, calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" he waves a hand at me, accidentally pushing a plate off the table. It breaks in half at his feet, and Rue jumps at the sound. I stand up and push her behind me with my left hand.

"You calm yourself. Right now."

Gale points a finger at me. "This is a balls-up. If you marry him, I'll reopen Rue's custody case."

"No!" Rue complains.

"Go right ahead," I say. "Waste your time and mine. Make our child miserable. We both know how that will end anyway."

"I'm serious, Katniss."

"So am I!"

"Daddy's being mean again." I hear Rue say. I turn around and find she's taken my phone out of my coat pocket and has it pressed to her ear. "Uh-huh... At the cafe."

"Who are you talking to, baby?" I ask.

Rue looks up at me. "Peeta. I promised him I'd call if daddy ever scared me." I look back to Gale and raise my eyebrows. He narrows his eyes at me.

"Uh-huh... I don't know." Rue turns to me. "Did daddy hurt you?" I quickly shake my head no. "But he grabbed your-"

"I said no."

Rue sighs. "Mommy says no. But I think she forgot what he did."

"Give me the phone." I extend my hand and she passes it right to me.

"Baker, everything is fi-"

"No, Katniss. It's not fine." I hear a door slam and DJ's voice murmur in the background. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

From his tone I know there's no arguing with him. I sigh.

"We've got a bit of a scene here," I say as my eyes cut over to the owner, who is staring at us, probably deciding whether to call the police.

"DJ, go grab that black forest cake you finished yesterday morning." His voice is quieter. "How are you feeling?"

"Same."

"And a baguette!" he yells. "Anything else?"

"No."

"Tell Gale to sit tight." He ends the call.

I slide my phone back into my pocket. "Peeta's on his way. He would like a word with you," I tell Gale.

"Oh, I've got a few words for him as well."

I roll my eyes. "Sorry about the plate," I say loudly to the owner as I sit down. I bring a hand to my stomach and grimace.

"Drink some water, mommy."

"I will baby." I say as I reach for my glass.

"Her tummy hurts again," Rue says accusingly to Gale. "Want some crackers, mommy?"

"Peeta's bringing me some bread," I tell her.

"I didn't mean to make your stomach hurt," Gale says apologetically.

"You didn't," Rue says. "Peeta did."

I watch the wheels turn in Gale's head as he makes sense of the information Rue didn't even know she possessed. His eyes widen as it finally clicks. Uh-oh.

"Are you fucking pregnant?"

.

.

.

.

**Okay, before you write out that hate mail, just hang on a second. I wanted to tackle Peeta's reaction and the custody stuff before getting in to Gale's reaction. The next chapter is mostly written. I'm just trying to get it right for you. I'll post soon. Promise!**


	13. Something You Can Blame

**With this chapter we are officially over 300 subscribers on FF and 100 on AO3. Amazing! Thank you for following this story!**

**As I mentioned, this chapter gave me some trouble. I wanted to calm things down, since its been kinda crazy the past couple of chapters. So big thanks to my beta, _Lauralulubee_ who read and reread this one. And remember to be polite in your commentary since a person is reading it (seriously, we're nearly 100k words deep in this story. I assume we all agree on premise at this point).**

**Happy Reading!**

* * *

_"This is something you can blame on yourselves"_

The longer I sit here, the more nauseated I feel. I don't look away from Gale, but I don't answer him either.

"Are you?" he asks again. There's that desperation in his voice again, begging me to tell him I'm not. But I am.

"Katniss, why are you doing this to us? I've done everything you asked. I gave you space. I let you go. You were supposed to come back."

I look away. Gale finally realizes that we're over.

"Mommy, are you gonna have a baby?"

I bring my hands to my face and exhale loudly. I didn't intend for Rue to find out like this. I wanted to tell her with Peeta, once I have a bump to show her. But I can't lie to my daughter, so I turn to her.

"Remember what we talked about before? That I'm going to marry Peeta?"

She nods. "Uh-huh. And then me and DJ will be sisters."

"That's right, baby." I pull her to sit on my lap. "Well, it turns out that's going to be real soon."

"So Peeta is gonna be my new daddy?"

"Hell no!" Gale begins. I hold my hand up to him and continue to speak to Rue.

"Your daddy is right there," I point at Gale. "Even though he's acts like a monkey sometimes."

She giggles.

"Peeta's going to be my husband. And your step-father."

I hear Gale suck his teeth.

"But if you have a baby, Peeta will the baby's daddy, right?"

"Uh-huh. And you'll be a big sister. How do you feel about that?"

"I guess that's all right," she says.

"Well, good, because I have something to tell you."

"What's that?"

I lean in and whisper in her ear. "There are two babies coming. They'll be here in the fall."

"Really, mommy?" she whispers back.

I pull back and smile at her. "Mhmm."

Across the cafe, the door opens and a gust of cool air causes me to shiver. I look to the door in time to see Peeta and DJ step inside. If he knows where I am, he doesn't yet spare me a glance. Peeta points towards the cafe owner and says something quietly to DJ, who's holding a cake box. Peeta follows as she makes her way over to the owner. He greets her with a smile, and DJ sets the cake down on the counter.

"I hear he's quite the ladies' man," Gale says.

I give him a look, and then turn my attention back to Peeta. The café owner blushes as he speaks to her, and I roll my eyes. A moment later, she points in my direction and Peeta nods. He turns away from her with a wave, while DJ follows her behind the counter.

Peeta walks towards our table. His eyes dart between me and Gale, but he seems calm overall.

"Hey, baker." I welcome him. He kicks the broken plate out of his way, then leans down and greets me with a kiss. Gale huffs out a breath.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine," I say a little more curtly than I intend to. But he's been asking me that every 5 minutes.

"Mommy says babies are coming!" Rue beams.

"Does she?" Peeta looks at me and raises his eyebrows. I shrug my shoulders.

"Babies?" Gale repeats. We ignore him for now.

"Rue, go see what's keeping DJ."

"Okay, mommy."

Peeta waits until Rue and DJ are smiling at each other to speak.

"You've had quite the morning, huh? Can't let you out of my sight for an hour." He claims the chair beside me. He sets a paper bag down on the table.

"An hour? So he stayed the night?" Gale asks.

"Yes, I did," Peeta says as he opens a can of seltzer and sets it down in front of me. He pulls a small baguette out of the bag next and rips it in half before offering me a piece. Gale watches Peeta's movements with a stern expression.

"Katniss-" Gale scolds. But I cut him off.

"I wasn't feeling well. It makes sense-"

Peeta puts his hand on my knee. "You don't owe him an explanation," he says to me. I exhale a breath. He's right, I don't.

"You've had custody of Rue for less than a week and you're already going against our parenting plan?"

"That parenting plan became null and void when I got custody of her." I take a bite of the bread.

"Which you got under false pretenses."

"I beg your pardon!"

"Yes. You should!"

"Gale," Peeta interrupts. But Gale ignores him.

"If you marry this wanker, you can say goodbye to that child support check."

"What?" That would be exactly why I don't want child support. It's not for me. But, Gale doesn't see it that way. To him, its just one more way he wants to have control over my life. And I refuse to let him have it.

"From my understanding, if you don't pay your child support, then I'll be able to adopt Rue." I look at Peeta. We hadn't discussed that. "I'm prepared to provide for her."

Gale narrows his eyes and turns his attention back to me. "You should've let that judge know you intend to remarry."

He does know.

"And you should've mentioned your moving back to England."

"Stop!" Peeta says loudly. Then he turns to me. "You didn't tell me he's moving back to England."

My eyes drift over to Peeta's. "It wasn't certain."

"That's right," Gale confirms. "What's your excuse, Katniss? Still deciding whether to have Mellark's child?"

I gasp loudly as I turn back to Gale. "You bite you tongue!"

He turns to Peeta "Did she make you **beg** for your child's life?" Peeta furrows his brow. "I had to."

"Gale!"

"You didn't plan Rue?" Peeta asks. I shake my head. "You didn't...want her?"

Gale shakes his head. "No. She didn't."

"Not... at first," I admit. "What does any of that matter now, anyway?"

Peeta purses his lips. "It doesn't."

"I think it does," Gale asserts.

"Why?" Peeta asks, taking the bait. I bring my thumb and forefinger to my nose.

"Katniss went back and forth quite a bit about Rue."

"Stop it," I say. Peeta looks at me while he listens to Gale's words.

"She could change her mind again. Fickle one, she is." He leans over the table. "I wouldn't get too attached to the idea if I were you, Mellark."

A slight frown tugs at Peeta's face and my eyes widen. He doubts me. I stand up and turn to Gale.

"That is enough of that horseshit. I wasn't sure if I wanted your child because I wasn't sure if I wanted _you_," I seethe. Gale's mouth slowly falls open. He doesn't reply.

"Katniss," Peeta says and I feel his fingers curl around my wrist. "Professor, please relax." I pull my hand away and spin on him.

"You! Don't you 'professor' me! You ride in here on your white horse only to sit there and judge me over things I don't intend to do. How dare you let anyone else tell you about what goes on between us!"

"I wasn't-" I raise my eyebrows at him, daring him to continue that lie. He cuts himself off.

I press my palms onto the table. "Now you listen to me. We are a family. That includes the two of you. So whatever bad blood there is between you, you'd best settle it now." I push away from the table and gulp the last of my seltzer. I set the can down on the table much louder than I intend to. I clear my throat. "Now, the girls and I are going over to Gearhart's, cus the promise of chocolate is the only thing keeping me from killing you both. We'll be at the house... Unless either of you objects?"

They shake their heads.

"Fine." I lean down and kiss Peeta on the cheek. "See you later." He nods, but he doesn't meet my eyes. He and Gale are locked in a staring contest of epic proportions. I roll my eyes.

"Girls! Let's get going!"

As I exit the cafe, I catch the beginning of their conversation.

"This can't happen again. She's carrying my children. I won't let you stress her out," Peeta says.

Gale nods.

I wonder if Judge Abernathy's advice is sound.

X

"Two babies!?" DJ beams. I nod as I glance in the rearview mirror. She's opted to sit in back with Rue. "I knew you were pregnant, but two babies? Wow!"

"How'd you know?" I ask.

"You've been throwing up a lot. And daddy's been spending a lot of time in the bathroom with you."

"Oh." She's too smart for her own good.

"I figured you'd tell us soon."

I nod as I pull into the parking lot at Gearhart's. It's an amazing chocolatier, and I've got quite the craving. We step inside and I let the girls look around a bit. But I already know what I want: half a dozen vanilla bean truffles, to start. I lean over the glass case displaying the truffles and DJ moves to stand beside me.

"Katniss... is Mr. Gale mad cus you and my daddy... had sex?" she says quietly.

I look over to her, my mouth agape. "Um... Well... Yes. And for other reasons."

"Is that what they're talking about right now?"

"I hope so. The other reasons, that is... DJ, who had that talk with you?" It certainly wasn't me.

"Daddy did. After that time I saw you kissing in the bakery kitchen. Then… I heard you making noise in the bedroom… I thought maybe he was hurting you. Not on purpose or anything. But... I didn't know exactly what was happening."

"Oh." I glance over to Rue. The girl behind the counter is cutting a truffle in half to give her a taste.

"Daddy told me that there are things that you do together, because you love each other."

"Yes, that's right." DJ nods, but her brow is knit together in confusion.

"Did you have any questions... For me?"

"Um... Yeah, a couple. If you don't mind."

"All right." I brace myself.

"Does it hurt?"

I frown. "You know…" She rolls her eyes. "When daddy puts his penis in your-"

"No!" Fuck! Well, at least I don't have to go over the mechanics with her. "It doesn't hurt. We both... like it."

"It sounded like it hurts."

Well, shit. This is awkward.

"It might hurt the first time. But, the more you do it..." I trail off. This can't be how this conversation is supposed to go.

"Daddy says I should wait until I'm married to do that. But you and daddy didn't get married yet. I don't understand."

"Well, sweetie, you don't have to be married."

"Daddy says-"

"I know what your daddy says." Considering his past, he should've been more up front with DJ on this one. "Now, listen to what I'm saying. Things don't always turn out like that. What's important is that you share it with someone you love. And people fall in love usually before they get married. You understand?"

"I think so."

"Good."

"So… does that mean you had sex with Mr. Gale?"

"Yes it does," I tell her honestly.

"And you stopped when you stopped loving him?"

I look at her. It's imperative she understand what I'm about to tell her. "Gale is Rue's daddy, so I'll always love him. But not in the same way I love your father."

"So you don't have sex with Mr. Gale anymore?"

"No."

"Now you have sex with my dad? Only my dad?"

Jesus Christ. "Yes."

"I think I understand now."

I smile at her. I hope she does.

Our sweets are packed up, so I approach the counter. DJ wipes the chocolate smeared on Rue's fingers with a napkin while the girl rings me up.

"That'll be $56.73," she tells me.

I open my wallet and trace the credit cards inside with my fingertips. I sigh out loud while I try to decide whether Peeta or Gale will be paying.

Who am I more upset with?

I hand one of the cards to the cashier and she eyes the ring on my finger as she accepts it.

"Very good, Mrs. Mellark."

DJ nudges my arm with her elbow.

X

I'm in the living room stuffing my face with chocolate and watching _Wreck it Ralph_ with the girls when Gale first calls. I let it go to voicemail. A moment later my phone buzzes with a new text message.

_Answer the phone_

_Fuck off_, I think to myself. Another text message arrives.

_I heard that_

I actually laugh out loud. And when my phone rings again, I accept the call.

"What do you want?"

"I owe you an apology."

"Just one?" I stand and walk into the kitchen.

"Let's start with the one. I'm sorry I told Mellark that you didn't want Rue…or _his_ child," he says quietly.

"Children," I correct.

"Right."

A moment of silence passes.

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

I scoff. "How about, 'Sorry I can't be polite to your fiancé?'"

"Your fian-, ugh! ...I was polite to him. I sat there and spoke with him for an hour."

An hour? Then where the hell is Peeta?

"Or how 'bout 'Sorry I scared our daughter?'"

"I didn't scare her."

"She called Peeta cus she was scared! She told us that."

"Right. Doesn't it bother you that she did that?"

"No."

"He asked her to call him-"

"Right. _If you scared her_, which you did. What bothers me is that Peeta had to give her those instructions at all. It bothers me that she had cause to follow them."

Another moment of silence passes.

"Katniss, this is hard for me."

"You think you're the only one? Like all this is just simple for everyone else?"

"I don't know. From where I'm sitting things don't look too bad for you"

"Fuck you!"

"Wait! Don't hang up! Bugger. That's not what I meant. I know what I did. I know I brought us here. But we're here, and you have to admit, things are better for you right now than they are for me. You've got custody of Rue. And now you're… pregnant ...and Mellark is doing the honorable thing."

"What?"

"I said-"

"I heard what you said. That's not why we're getting married. He asked me before he knew."

"And you said yes?"

"Yeah."

More silence.

"Did you…on purpose?"

Well, no. This pregnancy is a surprise for us too. But, I don't answer. Mostly because its none of his damn business.

"Bollocks." Gale huffs out a breath.

"Gale-"

"Look, Katniss, I'll be out of town this week, okay? Apologize to Rue for me."

"Gale, wait."

He ends the call.

X

It's after ten o clock, but I've lost track of the time. I'm freshly showered, and sitting up in bed with my iPad in my lap. I pull another truffle from the side of the bed and sigh in relief as the vanilla flavor fills my senses. I hear the sound of a car pull into the driveway and I roll my eyes. Figures it would be now. When I'm relaxed and finally not nauseated. And when the girls are asleep. DJ's getting more comfortable sleeping over here.

When I hear the door unlock, and Peeta step into the house, I'm both relieved and nervous. I hear him shuffle through things downstairs, and climb the steps. He opens the door to the spare room, where DJ is sleeping, and sets something down with a soft thud. A minute later, he gently knocks on the bedroom door.

"Come in," I invite.

He opens the door, and he looks exhausted. He sits on the bed beside me and sighs.

"What time did they get to sleep?" He asks as he tugs his shirt over his head.

"About an hour ago."

He unbuckles his belt. "That's late for Rue."

I shrug a shoulder. "I gave them sugar."

Peeta smiles and then finally turns to meet my eyes. He leans in and greets me with a quick kiss on the lips. I relax into him, but he pulls away before I can hum my appreciation.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright. How are you?"

"Tired."

"Where were you?" He shakes his head. "Gale called hours ago."

"Of course he did."

"He said you two had a long talk." He shrugs his shoulders. "What took you so long to come home?"

Peeta exhales a laugh. "This house ain't my home."

I look away. "I thought I was home."

I feel his index finger trace my jaw. "You are. I only meant that-"

"I know what you meant," I say as I turn my attention back to my iPad.

Peeta sighs as he watches me flip through my apps, not doing anything productive. "I just needed some space," he says.

"From me?"

"From myself. I've been here before, Katniss."

My eyes dart up to meet his. "Where is that exactly?"

"Here," he reaches out and places a hand on my stomach. "Hopeful, happy... except last time it turned out I was alone."

"You're not alone right now." I cover his hand with mine. "I'm not her."

"I know. And I'm not him."

"No. You're you. That's why I want this so much." I slide my hands up along his arm and over his shoulder. "Do you believe me?"

"I do," he sighs. "And I apologize. I shouldn't have let anyone suggest otherwise."

"No, you shouldn't have," I say sternly. But I smile. "Gale can be manipulative."

"I see that. I let him in my head. It won't happen again."

"Good."

Then he kisses me. His soft lips fit perfectly against mine. When I open my mouth he wastes no time in swirling his tongue into me. I pull away.

"You been hitting the 'shine?"

"Yeah," he says apologetically. "I'll go brush my teeth."

"Use the arm & hammer toothpaste, please. The Colgate is turning my stomach."

"I hate the arm & hammer toothpaste," he grumbles. But he'll do it.

He leans over me and sets the alarm clock. "5 is the latest I can sleep here," he says and I nod, though he can't see. "You'll drive DJ in the morning?"

"Mmhmm. After Rue's bus picks her up."

"Thank you."

Peeta stands and shucks his jeans. His clothes lay at the foot of the bed as he walks around to the bathroom.

"Back in a minute," he says as he shuts the door behind him.

But I don't see him when he comes back. The fatigue has taken over and by the time he returns to bed, I'm sound asleep.

X

It's Monday afternoon, after my last class. Rue's bus will drop her off in an hour. But I find myself in Peeta's apartment, waiting for his return. He's got something important he wants to talk about.

I'm sipping a glass of seltzer and trying not to throw up on the couch when the front door opens.

"How's that stomach, Professor?"

"Same. And I gotta get going soon."

"I know," he says as he walks over to me. He interlaces our fingers and pulls me to stand. He kisses the back of my hand. I look at him quizzically.

"What's all this about?"

He smiles. A moment later, Peeta's hands are covering my eyes as he walks me to the window. He pulls them away.

"Surprise!"

My eyes fall on two vehicles in the bakery's parking lot. It's Monday. There are no customers. Does this mean what I think it means?

"Do you like them?" Peeta asks. His smile is as big as I've ever seen.

"You bought new cars?"

"They're pre-owned, but yeah."

"I can't believe you did this."

"I told you I was gonna! Come on, let's take 'em out for a drive. Pick which one you want. I'm good with either."

"What about my car?"

"Sell it."

"Peeta, I wasn't ready for this."

"Do you know how much black ice is on the ground?" I shrug. "What kind of husband and father would I be if I allowed you to drive yourself and our children around in that?" He points to my car.

"Husband?"

"These are safe vehicles that will fit all of us. You gotta get accustomed to driving 'em though. They're a lot bigger than you're used to. Now... Do you want the Land Rover? Or the Audi?" He holds up both sets of keys.

I study the cars. Then I look back to Peeta's hopeful face. I sigh heavily. I reach for a set of keys.

"The Audi."

X

No word from Gale.

It's been nearly two weeks since he hung up on me and left town, presumably. I try not to think about it. I'm learning to live without him. I shake away thoughts of Gale and I sit on the counter. Peeta walks towards me.

The bakery is closed.

Peeta steps between my knees. His hands slip under my shirt and his fingertips leave a trail of fire on my skin. His lips, so soft and warm move against mine. I'm lost in the smell of him, cinnamon buns and sweat.

"You smell like cinnamon," I say as I inhale him. He's intoxicating to me. I drag my tongue across his jaw. "And you taste delicious."

This pregnancy is crazy. My hormones are driving me insane. If I'm not nauseated, I'm horny. Right now, my stomach feels fine. I need to feel him inside of me.

"Fuck me, baker," I say against his lips.

"Katniss," he kisses me. "We don't have time."

"I don't care," I say as I wrap my legs around him. "I need you."

"They'll be here any minute."

"But I'm _so hot_," I take his hand and bring his palm to my sex. He can feel my heat radiating even through my jeans.

"Fuck," he says. "I'll go lock the door."

He dashes over to the front door and locks it. I swing my legs over the counter and hop down on the other side. He closes the distance between us.

He spins me around and presses my back to his front. "Where were we?" he purrs into my ear. I let out a shaky moan as Peeta's hands wander all over my body. His hands wrap around my middle and he pulls me to walk backwards. I bring my hands to my waist, quickly unbutton my jeans and drag the zipper down. Peeta's right hand isn't on me anymore, but I hear him fiddle with his own zipper.

I feel gravity take over. I gasp as Peeta sits down on one of the chairs in the cafe and pulls me to sit in his lap. My back is pressed against his chest as he grabs my breasts. I inhale sharply, they're a little sore, but it still feels good. I press my shoulder blades against him as I pull my jeans over my hips and push them down to the floor. I bring my hips back down and feel Peeta's warm skin against mine. His pants are already collected at his ankles.

"Lean forward," he says. I part my knees and do as I'm told, resting my palms on his thighs and hooking my legs around his. He drags two fingers along my opening.

"Oooh."

"You're hot and wet."

"Uh-huh," I nod. "I need you," I tell him.

I lift my hips and reach down to touch him. But he's already pressing into me. So, I grip his legs tightly and shut my eyes as he fills me. I sink down onto him, taking him as deeply as I can. Then I lift up and repeat the motion. Again and again.

"Yes," I sigh.

"Open your legs wider."

Peeta's left hand holds onto my left knee and his right hand reaches around to play with my clit. He draws circles against me and I moan for him.

Fuck, yes.

"Good?" he asks.

"Mmhmm," I moan. "I'm almost there."

"Me too," he says. "I'm waiting for you."

I'm so worked up, it doesn't take much. He lifts his hips, presses deeply into me, and I reach my high.

"Yes!" I cry out.

I still my movements as my walls contract around him.

"I feel it," he pants, and with two more thrusts, he finds his release. "Ungh!" he moans as he spills himself inside of me. His forehead is pressed against my back and he works to catch his breath.

I hear a car door shut outside and voices approach the bakery.

"Fuck," Peeta murmurs. I push up onto wobbly legs, unsheathing Peeta from my body. Though I'm not quite done with my orgasm, I stand and reach for my jeans.

"Your appetite is ridiculous now, woman," he says as he pulls his pants back up over his hips. He has no idea. I'm ready to go again.

"Are you complaining?" I pant.

"Not at all," he laughs. "Just trying to keep up."

The doorknob jiggles followed by a loud knock. I finger comb through my hair as Peeta opens the door. His friends are on the other side.

"Peeta!" A tall slender man with green eyes greets loudly as he enters the bakery. Finnick.

"Look what the cat dragged in!" Peeta exclaims. They embrace, slapping each other's backs loudly.

Finn's eyes cut over to me. "Is this Katniss?" Finn asks. Peeta nods. "It's a pleasure."

"Likewise."

"Hey, Peeta." Annie says. I hear her inhale sharply. "Oh, God, you smell like sex." She covers her nose.

Peeta laughs as he motions for her to step inside.

"Ugh, this whole place smells like sex...and bread...," she laughs. "But mostly sex." Her eyes find mine. "You must be Katniss! Nice to meet you," she waves at me.

I return the wave. "Sensitive nose?"

She nods.

"I had that when I was pregnant with my daughter. How far along are you?"

"17 weeks."

I step closer and I notice her grimace. "Do I smell like sex too?"

She nods.

"Sorry..."

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude." Her green eyes stare into me and I offer her a wide smile.

"We'll go get cleaned up, all right?"

"No, its fine. I'll just-"

"It's all right. I remember what its like."

"Thank you."

"Of course…Can I get you a snack first? I suggest the baguettes," I tell her.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Best thing for morning sickness," I smile.

"Thank you."

I pull one of the French baguettes from a basket, tear it in half and offer her a piece. She accepts it with a smile.

I turn to Peeta. "Baker?"

"Yes, professor?"

"You and I should go upstairs for a little while."

"Oh, sure." He turns back to Finn.

"Please, make yourselves comfortable." Peeta turns on the ceiling fan. "We'll be back in a minute."

He takes my hand and leads up me up to his apartment.

He fucks me in the shower.

X

"A plane is crashing. Dropping out of the sky like a stone," Peeta begins. "The passengers are making their peace and preparing for certain death."

"Lovely," Annie snickers.

"A stewardess stands up and shouts 'If I'm going to die I want to go out, feeling alive! Is there anyone on this plane that can make me feel like a _woman_?'" Peeta purrs.

"I see where this is going!" Finn says excitedly.

At the back of the plane a tall, handsome," Peeta wiggles his eyebrows at me, "_blonde_ man…" I shake my head with a smile "…stands up. He's muscular and powerful." Peeta leans into me. "Sound like anyone you know?" I swat at him and Peeta pulls away with a smile. "He strides down the aisle, sure-footed but graceful despite the turbulence on the plane. The passengers all fall silent. He walks slowly, and removes his jacket."

Peeta undoes the top button of his shirt. I reach over and tug gently at the blonde hairs he reveals. "Oooh, yeah," I tease.

Peeta winks at me, then he continues his joke. "Then, he slips off his shirt and reveals his broad shoulders and six-pack abs." Annie fans herself.

"As he nears the stewardess, she quivers with anticipation. He stops, extends a confident hand to her. And in a deep, gravelly voice, he whispers... here, iron this!"

I slap Peeta's shoulder while he and Finn laugh like hyenas.

"How do you come up with such awful things?" I ask.

"That's an old one," Peeta laughs.

"Children," Annie comments.

"All right, all right. So what hotel are y'all staying in?" I ask. Peeta's hand is on my thigh, this thumb moving back and forth on my knee.

"We're staying with my folks, actually," Finn answers. He takes a sip of his water and puts the glass back down on the table.

"Oh you're from Charlottesville?"

"Mmhmm." Finn nods.

"We grew up together," Peeta explains.

"Right. You told me that." I shake my head and look around the restaurant. Pregnancy brain begins. "Well, how long y'all in town for?"

"Not quite sure yet," Annie says.

"I may put in for a transfer. Cost of living here is lower, plus my parents will be able to help out once the baby is here. It's all so overwhelming," Finn explains.

"You excited?" Peeta asks.

"Of course he is," I say. "Just look at him!"

"Guilty…and 3 weeks, we can find out the gender."

"I told you I want it to be a surprise." Annie says. Finn leans over and kisses her cheek.

Peeta and I share a look. We're only ten weeks. No need to tell them that were expecting twins when they're so excited about their news.

"Peeta. We... ran into Rye last week."

"Yeah? How's he doing?" Peeta says, though I can't tell if he means it.

"Well..."

My phone buzzes with a phone call from an international number. Gale.

"Will you excuse me?" I say as I push away from the table.

"Hello?"

"Katniss?"

"Hi, Gale. How's Hazelle?" I step into the hallway that leads to the bathrooms.

"She's well. She sends her love."

"Same. How's Vick?"

"He's well. A gobby pain in the arse, but well."

I smile. His accent is thicker. "Well that's all good to hear."

"I...interviewed at the Bank of England today."

"Oh? How'd it go?"

"They offered me the job on the spot."

My heart beats faster. Gale is going to leave. Really leave. "Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"So, when are you moving?" I do my best to keep my voice even.

"Do you want me to take the job?"

I sigh. "It doesn't matter what I want."

"It matters to me."

"You're gonna do whatever you want anyway. Why are you even asking me?"

"Because I feel like this is a test! Did losing you teach me anything if I take this job?"

"Gale-"

"You're not coming with me. I understand that. But, I want to be a better father for Rue. I can't do that if I'm not near her."

I sigh heavily and lean against the wall.

"I'm sorry, Katniss. I don't want you stressed out. That's the one thing Mellark and I actually agree on."

"Peeta."

"What was that?"

"His name is Peeta."

The silence between us is deafening.

"I think I'll stay here a while then."

A moment passes before I answer.

"All right. How long?"

"I don't know. Until things start making sense."

I close my eyes.

"I'll call you soon." He ends the call.

I open my eyes and find Peeta's across the restaurant. He frowns when he sees me, and I mouth "I'm fine."

He says something briefly to Finn and Annie. Then he pushes away from the table and stands. His eyes are locked onto mine as he walks towards me and I smile as I anticipate the feeling of his hands on me again. His kiss will make everything better. He'll feel strong and warm and his lips will be soft and sweet. I almost can't wait.

When he finally reaches me, it's even better than I imagined.

"He'll come around," Peeta assures me.

His lips fit against mine and he comforts me with his kiss. I thread my fingers through his hair and pull him closer. His hands find my hips and I allow myself to get lost in him, in the man I love, whose children I'm carrying. In my baker.

My body melts against his and despite everything else, I'm home.

X

"Peeta," I say nervously as I wrap my arms tighter around him. He doesn't answer. But, he holds me close. I can't help but feel there's something different about his embrace. It's not as tight. He's not as strong. He's wounded.

And so am I.

It's dark. I'm cold. My ears are ringing, but I can still hear him scream. I can still hear them growl. The sounds coming from below are…inhuman.

I shut my eyes. I just want it to be over.

I wake up in a cocoon of Peeta's arms, still terrified from my nightmare. But it's not the early morning light that's pulled me from my sleep. It's a loud buzzing sound. I sit straight up and check the time. It's after 9.

"Peeta," I say as I nudge him. He barley budges. I pull the covers back. "Baker, you overslept," I say.

"Bristel's opening today," he says sleepily.

I try to listen and find there's quite a bit of noise coming from downstairs. The bakery is definitely open. Something buzzes again. Peeta lifts his head from his pillow.

"That's the doorbell."

"Well, get up then. Get it." I encourage.

"No, thanks," he says as he puts his head back down. He's back asleep within seconds.

I huff out a breath and force myself out of bed. I shut the bedroom door behind me and make my way over to the intercom next to the door.

"Who is it?" I ask.

"It's Annie," a sweet voice returns.

I hit the buzzer and unlock the door. I sit on the back of the couch while I wait for her. A few moments later, she appears in the doorway.

"Morning!"

"Hey, Annie." I greet her with a wave. She walks right up to me and gives me a hug. I can't help but smile as I return it.

"It's nice to see you again, Katniss."

"Peeta's still sleeping-"

"Good. Cus I'm here to see you! Look," she holds up a loaf of my favorite raisin and nut bread in her hands. "DJ said this helps with your morning sickness."

"DJ told you I'm-"

"I already figured it out."

I sigh. "I would've told you, but-"

"You're only 10 weeks, I know. I suspect you didn't say nothing cus me and Finn were so keen on our news too?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"You're a good friend, Katniss."

Am I? I smile at her.

We sit on the couch and she tears the bread in half. She offers me a piece and I accept with a smile.

"So…are you and Peeta excited?"

I nod. "Yeah we are. But we have a lot of issues we need to deal with too."

"Like what?" she asks around a mouthful of bread.

"Like, we both have a child from a previous relationship."

"I thought the girls get along famously."

"They do," I say. "What about you? Enjoying your pregnancy?"

"Hell no! I haven't been able to stand the smell of Finn in weeks!" She leans in to me. "He always smells like fish." She leans back and pulls a small Ziploc bag from her pocket.

"I smelled it too. I thought I was losing my mind!"

"Well, he manages a Red Lobster," she laughs. She takes a handful of a reddish powder from the bag and put it in her mouth.

"Oh! Those cheese biscuits are amazing. I keep trying to get Peeta to make those for me." We share a laugh.

"I can't keep any of that down," she says as her smile fades.

"What's that?" I ask, gesturing to the bag in her hands.

"It's red clay."

"You're eating clay?"

"Just a little," she says. "Old tradition. Keeps my stomach from hurting. My mother packed some up for me before we left Louisiana"

My brow knits together and I look at her. "You like chewing ice too?"

"Ice would be so good right now," she smiles. "It's hot in here.

"It's the ovens," I explain. I mull over the full-blown case of pica Annie seems to have.

"Professor? What are you doing out here?" Peeta says from the hallway. He's in just his boxer briefs. He sleepily rubs his eyes as he leans against the wall.

"It's so cute that he calls you that," Annie says quietly.

"Breaking bread with Annie," I explain. His eyes fall on Annie and he startles a bit. "Go on back to bed. I'll be there soon."

"All right," Peeta says as he stretches his hands above his head. I watch his stomach muscles contract and I press my thighs together. "Morning, Annie," he yawns as he disappears back into the bedroom.

"Fuck," I whisper under my breath.

"Your libido has gone up?"

I nod. "You have no idea," I say. I'm breathing a little heavy.

"You're lucky. It's the opposite for me."

"Maybe that's cus Finn smells like a…fin?"

"Yeah, but it'll hurt his feelings if I tell him to bathe in vinegar."

"It'll hurt his feelings more not to get laid for months."

"True." She laughs.

"Let's plan a shopping date. We'll find a way to de-funk your man," I offer.

"Sounds perfect."

X

"Put that down!"

I turn to Peeta and give him a look. "I got it. It's fine."

"No, it's heavy. Give it here," he takes the large bag of dirt out of my hands and I sigh.

"It's a 20-pound bag," I grumble. "I can lift it."

"Doesn't mean you should."

I follow him from the shed out to the garden. It's an unusually warm day, considering it's February. I'm out here in a sweatshirt, but no coat. We're preparing the soil, making sure everything will be ready for planting in a few weeks.

Peeta sets down the bag and turns to me. He looks at the spray bottle in my hand.

"What's that?"

"Remember those peppers I was cutting up?" He nods. "They're in here." Peeta frowns in confusion. "No pesticides in an organic garden."

"Will that work?"

"We'll find out. There are a bunch of different things we can try. But this one makes the most sense to me."

"Mommy, this smells nasty," Rue says, putting the lid back onto the garbage bin we've been composting in the past few weeks.

"I told you not to smell it!" DJ laughs.

I lean over and take a whiff. "It ain't that bad," I say. A good compost pile shouldn't smell too much. I shake my head at Rue. "Baby, get your gloves on, all right? I don't want you touching this stuff with your bare hands."

"Hey, Professor," I put down the first layer of trimmings here…you think this is a big enough space?"

"Mmmhm," I walk his way. "That's 64 square feet!" I gesture towards the large rectangle he's standing in.

"I know…I just need a lot of strawberries. This is valuable real estate. I don't want it taken up by herbs."

"That's why I told you to put up those shelves before you started." I point behind him." "I got you a bunch of little planters for the smaller stuff. A shelf for dill, a shelf for basil, another for rosemary, and one more for thyme."

He looks at the wooden planks behind him and smiles sheepishly.

"You did say that, didn't you?"

"Is pregnancy brain contagious?" I tease. "Put 'em up. I promise, you'll have plenty of room for your strawberry patch."

"Yes, ma'am."

He grabs his hammer from his tool belt and I resist the urge to jump him.

"Come on, girls! Where's that compost?"

"Right here, Katniss," DJ says and she pulls and Rue pushes the garbage can over to the garden.

"Okay, now spread a layer of this over the leaves," I take a handful and demonstrate. "Like this."

"All right, mommy." She grabs a handful. "Eww, that looks like an eggshell!"

I look at the handful of brown material she's holding. "Yeah, it used to be," I laugh. "Come on, get in here," I encourage. I get on my hands and knees and together we slowly spread out the compost.

"Good," I say, admiring our work. "Now more trimmings."

"Here," DJ says passing me a handful of leaves. Again, we work together, with the banging of Peeta's hammer keeping tempo for our work.

"How are those shelves coming along, baker?"

"Just fine, professor," he says. "2 up already."

I sit back on my haunches, look down at the mess I'm covered in and smile. Gardening is hard work, but it sure is rewarding. And having DJ and Rue help out just makes this whole thing complete.

"Is that enough?" Rue asks.

"Huh?" I say as she breaks me from my trance.

"I said 'is this enough?'"

"Mmhmm."

My breathing is ragged…I didn't notice until now. I let out a long sigh and Peeta looks up from his work. "Katniss, please sit down. You're doing too much right now."

My breath slows and I try to relax. "Yeah… you're probably right," I relent. I turn back to the girls. "A layer of soil goes on there next, all right?"

"This one?" DJ says pointing to the large plastic bag Peeta wouldn't let me carry.

"Yeah." I stand and step out of the garden. "Then you do it all again, starting with the compost."

"Got it," DJ smiles.

I take off my gloves and sit down on an old wicker chair that's out here. I lean back and watch Peeta and the girls work. It really is a perfect picture, so I decide to capture it. I take my phone out of my back pocket and snap the photo.

A few minutes later, I'm feeling better. Still tired, but my breath is under control.

"Now what?" DJ asks. I glance their way to see Peeta standing back, admiring the shelves he's put up.

"Take that ruler and measure out 6 inches of soil on top of it all."

"6 inches," DJ repeats and Rue passes her the ruler.

I close my eyes and lay my head back.

"Professor?" Peeta says, appearing beside me. I open my eyes and take him in. The grey clouds in the sky behind him frame his handsome face.

"Yes, baker?"

"You feeling all right?"

"Mmhmm," I sit up as he claims the chair beside me. He passes me a bottle of water and I accept it with a smile. "Thank you."

"I'm filthy," he says as he leans back in his chair. He brings his nose to his underarm and pulls away with a face. "Wow," he mouths. I laugh.

"Told you you were gonna get dirty."

"Yes, you did." Peeta smiles. "That was a good night. Turns out it was a productive night too, huh?"

I return the smile. "Definitely…I love you, Peeta."

"I love you too, Katniss."

I shake my head. "No. I mean …I _really_ love you."

He furrows his brow at me. "You do?"

"Of course I do. You know…before I met you love felt like a burden. But with you, I feel wanted and appreciated. I can be myself. It makes me want hang the moon for you." He smiles wider at me. "I can't thank you enough for wanting me to be your wife."

Peeta looks away. He seems rather surprised by my onslaught of words. I am too, if I'm honest with myself.

"I had no idea you felt so deeply for me."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you a long time ago."

"You should've. I've been waiting on those words."

"You wanted to marry me even without them," I point out.

He nods. "Yes, because you're the first true woman I've met. And it didn't matter to me if you didn't love me as much as I love you. I'm lucky you love me at all."

I laugh. But when Peeta turns back to me with a serious expression, I force my smile away. "Katniss, I waited a long time for you. I've been through so much. I'm… wounded."

"I know. So am I. I was hoping maybe we could help each other heal?"

"For better or worse?" Peeta asks hopefully.

"Til death do us part," I nod.

"Professor, I believe we just wrote our wedding vows," he says with a smile.

I shake my head. "Nuh-uh, baker. Those words were for your ears only."

"Is this right?" DJ calls to me.

"Let me see," I say as Peeta helps me up. I walk over to the garden as DJ lifts Rue out of the dirt. I kneel down and inspect their work.

"6 inches, just like you said."

"Excellent job, girls."

"Thanks, mommy."

"Thanks. We gonna put the strawberry plants in now?"

"No, sweetie."

"How come?"

"We need to wait til it warms up a little more. We'll plant them in a few weeks."

"This is a lot of work," Rue complains.

"Anything worth having is," I tell them.

"What now then?" DJ asks.

I lean over and sniff her. "Now, we get you both clean. You stink!"

Rue laughs. "You stink too!"

"Do I?"

"Uh-huh!" she laughs.

"Race you inside then!" I spin on my heel and make my way back to the apartment. I hear three sets of footsteps follow behind me.


	14. Look Inside of My Soul - Peeta POV

**Hello, everyone.**

**So, this is an **_**outtake chapter**_**, written in Peeta's Point of View. I pulled it out of my trash after getting over a dozen messages inside of a few hours of posting the last chapter asking about Peeta & Gale's conversation and what Peeta was doing all day. I sent it to my beta, **_**lauralulubee**_**, and we agree that **_**it **__**does nothing to move the plot forward**_** (and we are already at 100K words, and still deep in the plot). But, as special treat, and since I truly value your feedback and continued enjoyment of this story, we fixed it up a little and I'm posting it just for you.**

**Thank you again for your amazing feedback, sharing your personal stories, and most of all for being polite. I can't tell you how far a kind message goes in motivating me in writing this fic. Keep the reviews coming!**

* * *

"_Look inside of my soul and you can find gold."_

I sit on the couch with my accordion file on the coffee table. I spread out my paperwork and begin to crunch some numbers. I'll have to run everything by my accountant, but at least I'll walk into his office with a good understanding of our situation.

I haven't had a baby in nearly 13 years. And, boy, things have changed. If video monitors were available back then, I couldn't afford one. Everything is different this time around. I'm not some punk ass teenager who's only concerned with getting his dick wet anymore. I'm a man, a father, soon to be a husband. And though we have a couple of surprises on the way, they were created in love. I smile at that thought. Love. Katniss loves me, enough to want to marry me, enough to want to build a life with me. It's not nearly as deeply as I feel for her, but I'll take it. I'll love her, provide for her. We'll raise our children together, and maybe someday, she'll feel a tenth of what I feel.

As I brush past my latest checking statement, I sigh. I remember at what cost my family's comfort comes. The parents I've lost, the grandparents my babies will never know. Seeing my mother hold DJ for the first time, I know I'd trade it all if I could.

If I'm honest with myself, I'm still not over their accident. I opened the bakery that morning, while they went down to Lynchburg to get flour in bulk. It's a drive my father's made a thousand times before. I still do it myself. But that morning, there was black ice and... In such a short time, I lost so much. My support system, my parents who loved me despite all my mistakes - maybe even more because of them. I pull the statement of the saving account, which holds their life insurance money. There's no way not to feel like an asshole when spending this. Whether I buy a stick of gum, or a house for my children, their deaths are footing the bill. But that was the point, I remind myself. That was their intention. They took out large policies on themselves so that DJ and I would be taken care of if the worst should happen. And the worst did happen. I vow not to let their sacrifice be in vain. I put my paperwork aside and pull out my laptop. I start my research, reading about the top rated mid sized SUVs. All wheel drive and a third row are essentials. I wonder if it's best to lease or buy.

My phone rings and I can see Katniss's photo on the screen. I smile as I accept the call and bring my phone to my ear.

"Hey, woman. I was just thinking about you. How was brunch with Gale?"

"Daddy's being mean again."

"Rue?"

"Uh-huh."

I stand up from the couch. "Where are you?"

"At the cafe."

"Is your mommy all right?"

She must pull the phone away from her ear, because her voice becomes distant. "Peeta. I promised him I'd call him if daddy ever scared me."

I'm relieved she remembered. After Katniss showed up here covered in dirt and visibly shaking after one of Gale's outbursts, I had a talk with Rue. I asked her to call me if Gale ever did anything to scare her or her mother. I'm more than disappointed that she felt she had to.

"Rue, are your mommy and daddy arguing right now?"

"Uh-huh."

"Did he hurt her?" I do my best to keep my voice even.

"I don't know." The phone shifts again. "Did daddy hurt you? ... But he grabbed your-"

He grabbed her? I feel my blood boil.

"DJ!" I yell as I make my way to the door.

"Yeah, daddy?"

"Come here right now."

"She says no, but I think she forgot what he did," Rue tells me.

Exactly what the fuck did he do?

"Yes?" DJ says appearing beside me.

"Get your coat on, we gotta go."

DJ mutters some explanation of why she doesn't want to leave, but I don't hear it. The phone shuffles again and I hold my breath, wondering whose voice I'll hear next.

"Baker." Oh good, it's Katniss. "Everything is-"

"No, Katniss. It's not fine."

"And I'm watching the-"

"I'm serious, Delilah." I throw my coat into my shoulders. "I'll be there in a few minutes," I say into the phone.

Katniss sighs. For a moment I think she's actually going to argue with me.

She can't possibly expect me to sit here holding my dick while that pathetic excuse of a man grabs her, and scares Rue. No, I'm certain I'm within my rights to step in here and put an end to this shit.

"We've got a bit of a scene here."

I imagine they do. Gale probably scared Mrs. Rooba half to death with his mood swings.

"DJ, go grab that black forest cake you finished yesterday morning."

"Ok, dad." She's not arguing with me any more. She turns around and heads into the bakery.

"How are you feeling?" I ask. She woke up this morning and threw up mostly stomach acid and some water she drank overnight.

"Same."

"And a baguette!" I call to DJ. "Anything else?"

"No."

"Tell Gale to sit tight."

I end the call as I climb into my Impreza. I feel the anger rise up inside of me and bubble over. I slam my fist against my steering wheel a few times, enjoying the feel of the pain spreading through my hand. I accidentally hit the horn on my last punch, and a moment later, DJ appears with an apologetic look. Shit. I didn't mean to rush her. Or maybe I did. I don't know. Either way, I need to get my shit together in the next 10 seconds, before she gets into the car. I grip the steering wheel tightly and breathe deeply as she opens the door.

"I got the cake and the baguette. I also grabbed a can of seltzer."

"Thank you baby girl." I turn the car on.

"Daddy, what's wrong?"

"Remember how Mr. Gale gets upset sometimes and doesn't behave like a gentleman?"

She nods. "Well, I have to go have a talk with him about why that's inappropriate." I throw the car in drive and pull out of the driveway.

"Did he scare Rue?"

"Yeah."

"Did he hit Katniss?"

"No, but he grabbed her and that's not acceptable either."

"You should kick his ass."

"Language."

"All right. You should kick his butt."

I smile. I probably should. "Violence-"

"Never solves anything. Yeah, I know, daddy. But he really gets to me."

"He gets to me too, baby girl. I really don't like it."

I pull into the municipal parking lot and step out of the car. I grab the paper bag holding the baguette and the seltzer, and I reach for the cake box, but DJ shoos my hand away.

We bundle our coats and walk the two blocks to the downtown area. It's cold as hell out here and it's doing nothing to calm my mood. When we step into the cafe, I see them immediately. Katniss is staring daggers at Gale, while holding Rue in her lap. She doesn't look hurt, so I try to relax. The cold air from outside reaches her and I turn away. I make my way over to Mrs. Rooba, and DJ follows closely behind me.

"Good morning, Mrs. Rooba," I greet her.

"Hello Mr. Mellark." Her eyes dart between me and the table Katniss is sitting at.

"Rough morning?"

"Just this couple that comes in. They like to fight here. Anyone watching them can tell they don't belong together. Pretty girl like that deserves to be treated better."

I nod my head as DJ sets the cake on the box.

"Heard she's seeing someone else."

"Doesn't surprise me." Her eyes drift over to mine. "Where'd you hear a thing like that?"

"That's my fiancé, and her ex-husband."

Mrs. Rooba forgets herself for a moment. She points in Katniss's direction. "That's your fiancé?"

I look over at Katniss. She's staring at me. Gale says something to her. She grimaces then turns back to him.

"Yeah," I turn back to Mrs. Rooba.

"Congratulations, Mr. Mellark. Nice local boy like you needs to settle down already."

"Thank you. She just broke the news to him." Mrs. Rooba's lips form an "O." "Heard he's making a scene?"

"Mhmm. You here to kick his ass?"

"I told him he should," DJ interjects.

"No, but I am here to put an end to his nonsense. We brought you a cake for the inconvenience."

"That's very polite of you."

"No worries, I turn away with a small wave."

"Come here, darling," she says to DJ.

I walk over to the table and keep my game face on. My eyes drift between Katniss and Gale. They're quiet as I approach.

"Hey, baker," she greets me.

I kick a broken plate out of my way as I lean in to her. What the fuck went on here? I lean down and press my lips to hers. I feel her relax and I hear Gale make a noise. I ignore him.

"How are you?" I ask.

"I'm fine," she answers shortly. I assume that attitude has more to do with Gale than myself.

"Mommy says babies are coming!" Rue smiles at me.

"Does she?" I raise my eyebrows at Katniss. She shrugs her shoulders.

"Babies?" Gale asks. I still don't acknowledge him.

"Rue, go see what's keeping DJ."

"Okay, mommy."

I watch Rue cross the cafe. I wait until she and DJ are smiling at each other to speak.

"You've had quite the morning, huh? Can't let you out of my sight for an hour." I sit down in the chair beside Katniss. I set my paper bag down on the table.

"An hour? So he stayed the night?" Gale asks.

"Yes I did," I say, but I don't meet his eyes. I focus on my primary goal, Katniss's well-being. I retrieve the can of seltzer, open it, and set it down in front of her. Then I tear the baguette in half and offer it to her. She accepts it, with a small grateful smile. I finally look at Gale. I can't tell if he's more heartbroken or pissed off, though I know he's both.

"Katniss-" he begins.

"I wasn't feeling well," she cuts him off. What is she doing? "It makes sense-" I reach out and grab her knee. I give it a squeeze, drawing her attention to me.

"You don't owe him an explanation." Katniss looks into my eyes and I can almost hear it click when she realizes she doesn't.

"You've had custody of Rue for less than a week and you're already going against our parenting plan?"

"That parenting plan became null and void when I got custody of her." There's my girl.

"Which you got under false pretenses."

"I beg your pardon!"

"Yes. You should!"

"Gale," I interrupt. But Gale ignores me.

"If you marry this wanker, you can say goodbye to that child support check."

"What?"

Now why would he go and say a thing like that? Holding Rue's child support over her head? Despicable.

"From my understanding, if you don't pay your child support, then I'll be able to adopt Rue." I feel Katniss's gaze on me. "I'm prepared to provide for her." Gale should know that if he's not prepared to man up, that someone is.

Gale narrows his eyes at me and I know I've struck a nerve. He turns to Katniss.

"You should've let that judge know you intend to remarry."

"And you should've mentioned your moving back to England."

"Stop!" I shout. "You didn't tell me he's moving back to England," I say to Katniss. Why wouldn't she tell me that?

"It wasn't certain yet."

"That's right. What's your excuse, Katniss? Still deciding whether to have Mellark's child?"

"You bite you tongue!"

Gale turns to me. "Did she make you beg for your child's life?"

I furrow my brow in confusion. She didn't, but I've had to beg before.

"I had to," he says.

"Gale!"

I can't believe what I'm hearing. And also what I'm not hearing. Katniss isn't denying anything.

"You didn't plan Rue?" I ask her. She shakes her head. "You didn't...want her?"

"No, she didn't."

"Not...at first," Katniss admits.

Did she really consider not having Rue? Does she know what that does to a man? Knowing that your child's very existence is out of your control.

_When Delilah told me she planned to... abort the pregnancy, the pure terror I felt for my baby nearly broke me. I dropped to my knees, hugged her body close, and pressed my face against her stomach._

_"Please," I begged. "Don't do this."_

_"What do you care?"_

_"I want him," I said as tears streamed down my face. "I love him so much."_

_"Love?"_

_"Please don't take him from me."_

_"This ain't your decision, Peeta," she said matter-of-factly._

_She was right. I had zero control over the situation._

_"I can't have your baby."_

_"But you could fuck me?"_

_"You fuck a lot of girls."_

_"So?"_

_"So? Your brother's my boyfriend. This was all a mistake."_

_"Don't say that! It's not a mistake."_

_"Look, you start at UVA in the fall. I want to move out to L.A. and be a dancer. This will ruin all our plans."_

_"Nothings ruined. This is a new plan," I said, still holding her close. "I'll take care of you and our boy."_

_"What if its a girl?"_

_"Doesn't matter. I'm still in it."_

_"Peeta-"_

_"Please!"_

_I promised her things I wasn't sure I could deliver. I'd have said anything to stop her. And when she finally whispered "maybe," I officially became a father._

"What does any of that matter now?" Katniss says, bringing me back to the present.

I press my lips together while I consider. "It doesn't."

"I think it does." Gale speaks up.

"Why?" I ask.

"Katniss went back and forth quite a bit about Rue," he says with a smirk on his face I'd like to slap off.

"Stop it," Katniss says

"She could change her mind again. Fickle one, she is." He leans over the table. "I wouldn't get too attached to the idea if I were you, Mellark."

Would Katniss really do that to me? To our children?

She gives me a look I can only describe as disgusted before she stands and speaks to Gale.

"That is enough of that horseshit. I wasn't sure if I wanted your child because I wasn't sure if I wanted _you_."

Damn.

I can see her fingers tremble as she leans over the table. I'm doing a piss poor job of keeping her calm.

"Katniss," I say as I curl my fingers around her wrist. "Professor, please relax." She pulls her hand away.

"You! Don't you 'professor' me! You ride in here on your white horse only to sit there and judge me over things I don't intend to do. How dare you let anyone else tell you about what goes on between us!"

"I wasn't-" She raises her eyebrows at me and I freeze. I was. I doubted her.

"Now you listen to me. We are a family. That includes the two of you. So whatever bad blood there is between you, you'd best settle it now. Now, the girls and I are going over to Gearhart's, cus the promise of chocolate is the only thing keeping me from killing you both. We'll be at the house... Unless either of you objects?"

I shake my head. I think Katniss kisses my cheek, but I can't be certain.

"See you later."

I stare at Gale for a long while.

"This can't happen again. She's carrying my children. I won't let you stress her out."

He nods, but at least he doesn't smirk.

"She's carrying twins?"

"Yes, she is."

"Ever hear of protection?"

"Ever hear of minding your own damn business?"

"She is my business. She's the mother of my child"

"Seems we got that in common."

"The only thing _common _here is you. You came into my house and lied to my face about fucking my wife. What kind of man does that?"

"Gale, this conversation only happens if you pull your head out of your ass."

"I've had enough of your shit," he says as he stands.

"And she's had enough of yours. Sit down. We need to talk."

"Or else what?"

"You'll see. Walk out that door without trying to see this through and see where it gets you. She'll never forgive you."

Gale eyes me suspiciously. He slowly sits back down into his chair.

"I don't want to discuss the road that brought us here. We're here. She's pregnant and I'm going to marry her."

"That would be the stand up thing."

"I'm so glad you approve," I roll my eyes.

"Don't give me that shit. You're still shifty shagging tosser who preyed on a married woman."

"No, I'm a man who fell in love with a woman and accepted her, warts and all. And you, my friend, are one big ugly wart."

"Fuck you, Mellark."

"I already fucked today, thanks."

Gales eyes widen and I look away. I silently berate myself for stooping to his level. I'm trying so hard to keep calm here.

"Damn it," I mutter to myself.

"I'm guessing she wouldn't have liked you saying that?"

My eyes drift up to his. "No."

Gale laughs. He smiles widely at me and for the first time, I can see where Rue got her dimples.

"Shut up," I say, not hiding my own smile well.

"No offense there, bloke. I'm just surprised you had it in you."

"You're an asshole."

"Maybe. But you're no saint either. You want to rub it in my face don't you? How much you love fucking her."

I shrug my shoulders.

"Okay. You have my attention."

"What?" I'm not telling him shit.

"Relax, I don't want to hear about how you've been defiling the woman I love." I narrow my eyes at him. "It's just nice to know I'm speaking with a human."

"Wish I could say the same thing."

"Ooh, that hurts." That fucking smirk is back.

"You do realize if you put you hands on her again, I'll have to beat the living shit out of you, right?"

His smile fades and I watch as his eyes harden.

"I don't appreciate threats, Mellark."

"It's a promise. You were once a husband. You should understand. I don't know what happened here today. I don't want to know because if I do, I think I'll lose my fucking mind. All I know is it will **not** happen again."

Gale barely blinks as he listens to my words.

"Do not lay a finger on my woman without her permission."

Gale nods, understanding something. I can only hope it's the seriousness of my words.

"_Her_ permission," he repeats. Fucking snake is scheming again already.

"You should be ashamed of your behavior, especially in front of your daughter."

"You're one to talk about that. Heard you fucked half the women in town. How's your daughter feel about that?"

I scoff. "Who told you that lie?"

"Your past lovers. I've spent some time over at the middle school. Met a lovely woman named Penelope. Her daughter had the most unusual name. What was it? Oh yes, Cashmere."

"Katniss already knows about that."

"Does she really?"

"Yeah."

"Does she know about Dana? Meagan?" Gale leans forward. "Does she know about Francesca Gloss?"

"I don't keep things from her. That was years before we met."

Gale shrugs. "You sure did get around."

"Jealous?"

"Maybe a little," he smiles.

"You shouldn't be," I say as I run my fingers through my hair. "If I were lucky enough to have Katniss when we were younger..." I trail off.

"You'd have taken her for granted. Same as I did." He says looking away. "It took losing her for me to realize what I had." He shakes his head at himself. "Fucking Thom." He mutters.

This gets my attention. "What the fuck is that guy's problem?"

Gale gives me a confused look.

"He emails her," I explain. I'm saying too much. I don't even know if Katniss knows I know that. I want to pull the words back into my mouth, but they're already out there.

"Still?"

I nod my head.

"You allow that?"

I shrug a shoulder. "I trust her."

"Yeah, I trusted her too. I should've seen what was going on. You should pay attention."

I laugh. "How can you have gone through so much and have learned so little?" Gale looks at me expectedly. He's waiting for an explanation. "You don't realize what that night did to her, do you?"

"Did he hurt her?"

"No. You did."

"Me? She's the one who-"

"Like I said. Get your head out of your ass. I'm not worried about Thom. I don't particularly appreciate that he emails her, but that's for her to handle. Besides, I give her what she needs."

"Bragging about fucking her again?"

I roll my eyes. "Not all needs are sexual."

"So you're implying I didn't meet any of her needs."

"If you had, I wouldn't be here. And here I am."

"Touché, Mellark."

"We have an understanding then?"

Gale looks away.

I lean forward. "You and I need to find a way to get along."

"I don't think I'll be a factor much longer. My career awaits."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, you're not."

"I am, actually. Much as I'd like for you to live half way around the world and leave me the hell alone…Rue needs her father. If you're all the way in England, how can you be there for her?" I see the guilt rise in his face.

"So I should stay here and watch you play house?"

"I'm not _playing_ anything. You should stay here if being a good father is important to you. I couldn't have left my DJ, especially not when she was so little."

"You take her out to the clubs with you then?"

"For the love of- get over it already." I push away from the table. "I can see this conversation is over. You should pay for that plate."

He doesn't say another word, and neither do I. I wave to Mrs. Rooba as I exit the cafe.

The cold helps me calm down. By the time I climb back into my car, I don't even have the urge to beat the hell out of the steering wheel. I turn on the engine before I even decide where I'm going. I can't go to Katniss's place. Not yet. She's got the girls anyway and I need some time to think.

I pull into the parking lot and push open the door of the bakery.

"What are you doing here, boss?" Bristel greets me.

"Getting something out of the basement," I answer.

"Oh. Everything all right?"

I don't answer her as I make my way into the kitchen and down the stairs.

It's warm down here. I'm right under the ovens. I pull back the large heavy tarp and reveal stacks if wooden crates filled with dozens of gallons of moonshine packaged up in mason jars. This is all that's left of my brothers' still. I pull a jar out and slump against the pile. I take a swig.

The alcohol helps. After a few swigs, I don't feel like bashing Gale's skull in anymore. I feel sorry for him. I can't imagine what shape I'd be in if I lost Katniss. I've already been through too much. I don't imagine I'd take it well either, even if it were my fault. I take another swig as I try to see things from his point of view. If Katniss and I never met, would she and Gale have reconciled? I shake my head at myself. The answer is no. Maybe they would've drawn out their divorce a while longer, but it was coming. Their marriage was over long before I came into the picture. My fingers tingle and my joints grow heavy. I'm fucking drunk.

It's not long before my eyes shut as the weight of the day overwhelms me.

I hear the movement upstairs shift and I know it's after closing time. I pick up my phone. I don't get great reception down here but a text message or a voicemail would've come through. Katniss hasn't tried to call me. I wonder if she's giving me space. Then I remember she's kind of pissed off at me.

Once the footsteps and voices upstairs quiet down, I make my way up to the apartment. I strip off my clothes, filthy from sleeping on the cellar floor, and turn on the shower.

I step under the warm water and let it wash away my self-loathing. I've switched to a castille soap, Dr. Bronners, since my standard ivory makes Katniss gag. I emerge clean and still a little drunk, but in better control of my faculties. I wander through my apartment in just my towel. It's so empty here. DJ is still with Katniss and Rue. I miss all those girls so much, it feels like I'm going to explode.

It's late now, and I'm sober enough to drive. I imagine Katniss will put the girls to bed soon. I slip into DJ's room and grab her pillow and a change of clothes. We only planned to be there for two nights. She doesn't even have her schoolbag there. I pack her things, then mine, and slowly leave my apartment behind.

It's after ten o' clock when I pull into Katniss's driveway. I move some things around in the kitchen and throw away some trash that's laying on the coffee table. I find a receipt. $60 for chocolate? I laugh quietly to myself. She must've been really upset with me. It's the first thing she's purchased with the card I gave her.

I make my way up the steps, keeping my gait as light as I can, but it's useless. I know the whole house can hear me. I open the door to the spare room and set down DJ's things.

"Daddy?" She asks sitting up and turning on the light next to the bad.

"Yeah, I'm here, baby girl."

"Good. Katniss misses you."

She shuts off the light and falls back asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow.

A moment later I stand outside of Katniss's door. I can see the light shine under the door. Hopefully she's still up. I rap my knuckles lightly.

"Come in."

She's sitting up in bed, reading something. Maybe another one those fancy science journals she enjoys so much. I don't meet her eyes as I sit down next to her on the bed. "What time did they get to sleep?" I tug my shirt over my head

"About an hour ago."

"That's late for Rue." I unbuckle my belt.

"I gave them sugar."

I smile at her as I lean in and quickly press my lips to hers. I pull away before I get too caught up in things.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright. How are you?"

"Tired."

"Where were you? Gale called hours ago."

"Of course he did." I roll my eyes. I didn't mean to say that out loud.

"He said you two had a long talk." I shrug my shoulders. "What took you so long to come home?"

"This house ain't my home," I laugh. Gale's shit it still in the basement. This won't ever be my home.

Her eyes drift away from mine. "I thought I was home."

Shit. Of course she's home. I didn't mean to make her feel otherwise. This is my insecurity. I bring my index finger to her jaw and turn her to face me. "You are. I only meant that-"

"I know what you meant," she cuts me off and looks down at her iPad. She flips through her apps.

"I just needed some space."

"From me?"

"From myself. I've been here before, Katniss."

"Where is that exactly?"

"Here," I place a hand on her stomach. "Hopeful, happy... except last time it turned out I was alone."

"You're not alone right now." Her hand covers mine. "I'm not her."

"I know. And I'm not him."

"No. You're you. That's why I want this so much." Her hands slide up my arm and over my shoulder. "Do you believe me?"

"I do. And I apologize. I shouldn't have let anyone suggest otherwise."

"No, you shouldn't have," she smiles. "Gale can be manipulative."

"I see that. I let him in my head. It won't happen again."

"Good."

I kiss her then. She opens her mouth and I slide my tongue between her lips. She doesn't welcome me like I expect. Instead she pulls away.

"You been hitting the 'shine?"

"Yeah. I'll go brush my teeth."

"Use the arm & hammer toothpaste, please. The Colgate is turning my stomach."

"I hate the arm & hammer toothpaste," I grumble. But I'll do it.

I lean over and set the alarm clock. "5 is the latest I can sleep here. You'll drive DJ in the morning?"

"Mmhmm. After Rue's bus picks her up."

"Thank you."

I stand and shuck my jeans.

"Back in a minute."

When I emerge from the bathroom, with fresh breath, and a desire to kiss her until her breath is all but gone, I hear her lightly snoring. She's asleep. I climb into bed beside her and wrap my hand around her middle. I fall asleep, eager about what's to come.


	15. Stuck in a Box - Part 1

**Hey again, everyone. So, I'm getting the hang of tumblr (kinda, sorta, not really) so feel free to reach me there. HazlenutMacchiato**

**Thanks again to lauralulubee for beta'ing this bear of a story. When I originally outlined the story, I didn't plan beyond chapter 7, so this is awesome. I'm glad you're all still in it with me. Thank you in advance for the feedback and polite messages I hope you'll continue to send.**

**And sorry my other fics haven't been updated. I swear I have like 2k words of Rerun and 4k words of Unangan written and collecting dust. I just need that inspiration to strike to finish the chapters, y'know. I'm working on it. Also, feel free to check out my prompts in panem fic **_**A Grown Woman, Not A Girl**_**.**

**This chapter just got too long so I've spilt it into two parts. It's finished, beta'd and ready to post. But I'll give you a day or so to collect your thoughts before posting part two. Promise it's coming though. I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

_"You can remain stuck in a box." _

_Part 1_

I follow Peeta outside and into the back yard. He folds his arms in front of his chest and looks at me expectantly.

"What do you think?"

"Well...it's bigger than we talked about."

"I know. But it's perfect! 6 bedrooms... That kitchen is amazing," he smiles.

"I liked the little nook and window seat."

"Just right for morning tea together."

"I like that sitting area in the master bedroom too."

"The whole place seems like its built for us. The double staircase is gorgeous. The ceilings are nice and high in the living room... Exposed brick…a fireplace…The bedrooms are big and spaced out well. You can keep all your sewing machines out and still have room for your desk. I can fix up one of the bedrooms upstairs as my studio and even paint out on the balcony. The basement has a bedroom and a bathroom – it's practically an apartment. We could have movie nights down there...The garage fits 4 cars. And look at all this space!" He gestures to the ample backyard. "It's beautiful out here!"

The house is relatively high up on a hill with a view of the surrounding area. I sit down on one of the patio chairs and take it all in.

"What are you gonna do with all this space?" I challenge.

"Well...I'll build the kids a playground over there," he waves his hand to the right. With swings and a climbing wall. And we'll get that good squishy ground so they don't get hurt when they fall." His eyes drift to the other side of the yard. "And maybe I'll build an outdoor oven over here, with stepping stones leading the way." His eyes twinkle with possibility.

I hold the development community's brochure in my hand. It's the fourth one we've been to. But Peeta is far more excited here than at any of the other places. "This is just the model house, you know. They call this one the 'Monticello.'" I pick up a plastic apple off the patio table and toss it to him. This place has been staged. "It wouldn't be this particular house."

He thinks for a moment before answering me. "I want this one." I laugh. "Believe me. It's for sale."

"You really like it, don't you?"

Peeta nods. He sits down next to me and puts a hand on my stomach. In the past few weeks, I've "popped." My belly, though small, is definitely there.

"Can't you just imagine them running around out here?"

No. Not yet. But Peeta sure can. His thumb absently strokes my belly and the look on his face tells me he's years away.

Looking around, I can see how beautiful it is here. It's calm and quiet. It's everything that Charlottesville offers: A spacious home, a safe neighborhood, and excellent schools. It's an ideal place to raise a family.

"Baker?" He's brought back to the present. His thumb strokes my belly with more purpose now. "It's perfect."

X

"Someone's got a birthday coming up," I say with a smile. Peeta passes me the string beans. "This Friday is April 4th," I say in a sing-song voice.

"Yeah, I'm gonna be thirteen. I can't wait!" DJ beams.

Peeta gives me a look. Apparently, he could wait.

"What kind of cake should I bake for you this year, baby girl?"

"Actually, daddy, I was thinking this year I'd get popcorn."

"Popcorn?"

"Uh-huh... Divergent just came out..."

"Absolutely not."

"But daddy-"

"You know how I feel about PG-13 movies."

"Yeah... But I'm gonna be thirteen!"

Peeta presses his lips into a tight line. He hadn't thought that argument all the way through.

"Maybe you could think about it?" I suggest.

Peeta gives me a "who the hell are you?" look, but it fades quickly enough. I can see that he's not used to consulting with anyone on decisions regarding DJ. He turns his attention back to his food. "Maybe."

DJ flashes me her father's smile, which I'd be hard-pressed to get out of him right now anyway. I wink at her.

"Can I come?" Rue asks.

"No, you're too little," DJ says sweetly.

"But, I got an A on my spelling test," Rue says.

"That's right, she did." I smile. "But you're still not going."

"Congratulations!" Peeta says. "I think you earned another helping of Mac and cheese," he scoops some more food onto her plate. He thinks she's skinny and has been taking every opportunity to get some food in her. I shake my head. The kid could eat a horse and be just as thin.

I scratch at my belly through my shirt. My skin is stretching, quickly, and it's uncomfortable.

"Maybe we can all go to the movies together when Rio 2 comes out," I suggest. I take in a deep breath and grimace as the taut skin on my belly feels like its being ripped.

"What's wrong, professor?"

"Just itchy skin is all."

"That why I'm low on coconut oil?"

I look down at the splotches of coconut oil on my shirt and laugh a little. No way am I getting stretch marks.

"Girls, we have something important to talk about," Peeta says.

"I thought we were going to tell them over dessert?" I say quietly.

"I'm excited," he says. I roll my eyes with a smile.

"What is it dad?" DJ asks. Rue's mouth is full, so she just raises her eyebrows.

"Well, as you know, we've got twins on the way. And this apartment is much too small for all of us," Peeta begins.

"So the babies are gonna live with us?" Rue asks.

"They're going to live with all of us," I say.

"We're all going to live together," Peeta smiles.

A strange look crosses Rue's face. "Will I have to share my room with the babies?"

"No, Rue, you'll have your own room," Peeta tells her.

"Where are we gonna live?" DJ asks.

"Well, we found a place we like. But we need your opinions," I explain.

"Is it a house?" DJ asks. Peeta and I nod.

She perks up. "With a backyard?" Again we nod. "Really?"

"Uh-huh," Peeta says, matching her smile.

DJ squeals. "When can we see it?"

"This weekend. Saturday morning."

"Mommy, can we go riding after?"

"Baby, we need to get you some new chaps first. Also, your boots have a hole in the left foot."

"Well, I can take her to do that Friday after school if you want?" Peeta offers. "That way they can ride together on Saturday."

I look at him. I hadn't decided on a yes or a no yet, but Peeta just chose for me. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that.

"Really, Peeta?" Rue asks.

"If it's all right with your mother."

I nod. "Then while you're doing that, maybe I'll take DJ and two friends to a matinee."

DJ gasps.

Peeta and I have a bit of a staring contest while we decide whether this is really happening. Are we making decisions for each other's children? Trusting each other to do so? Peeta smiles first. "All right, woman." He turns his attention to DJ. "Two friends. Both girls."

"All right, daddy. Thanks, Katniss."

X

"So you're just not gonna tell me about this?" Johanna lifts up my shirt, exposing my belly.

"What the fuck, Jo?" I say as I pull away and tug my shirt back down. "You want Dr. Crane to find out?"

"You're not telling them?"

"Not yet."

"But you're..."

"I'm gonna finish out the semester and get my contract for next year before I say anything. They can't fire me over it...but I'm pretty sure Marvel would be only too happy to let Crane know I've been fucking a student."

"Marvel won't say shit."

"Well, you can't exactly guarantee that anymore, can you?"

"Forgive me for not wanting to catch the clap!"

"Herpes."

"Whatever. And what does that matter? Blondie's over in business. He'll never have to take any of your classes. And you're engaged."

"If they're looking for a reason to fire me though, that would be it. And I need my job." Though financially, I don't anymore... Johanna nods, finally understanding why I've decided to keep it quiet.

She lowers her voice. "How far along are you?"

"14 weeks," I say sitting back down at my desk.

"Your belly seems big for 14 weeks."

"They say you show sooner with the second pregnancy. Plus I've got two little critters in here." I rub my belly.

"You're having twins?"

"Mmhmm."

"Oh please let them be boys...and look just like Blondie. The next generation of women will thank you."

"Shut up, Jo. ...They're fraternal. I'm hoping for at least one girl."

"Why?"

"Strength in numbers," I smile.

"You haven't had to deal with teenaged girls yet." she smiles. "So, is that why Gale flew the coop?"

I flinch when I hear Gale's name. "Yeah...it's kind of a lot to put on him."

"I'll say."

"Last I spoke to him was as month ago."

"Really?"

I nod my head. "But, we got a package from him last week. Cadbury chocolate bars, a note…and a check."

"What'd the note say?"

"Nothing, really. He just tells me about London. How he's catching up with old friends. He tells them about Rue."

"So no mention of work then."

I shake my head.

"You think he's coming back?"

I shrug my shoulders. "All I know is he's so hurt, he needed to put an ocean between us."

"You gonna write him?"

"No. I think he needs me to listen right now, you know?"

Johanna nods. "He'll come around."

It's not the first time I've heard that. But I don't know how much I believe it anymore.

X

I finally spot a person who works here. Lowe's employees are tough to find. I hurry over to him, leaving Annie over in the flower section, afraid someone else will spot him before I get there.

"Excuse me. I'm looking for chicken wire," I tell the attendant. I look over my right shoulder and see Annie stick her finger into the bed of a potted plant. She brings a fingerful of dirt to her lips.

"Are you gardening?"

"Yes."

"It's over in aisle 4." His eyes drift down to my belly. "I can get it for you."

"Thank you."

He smiles at me and walks away. I make my way to Annie, who is pulling her finger from between her lips with a small smile.

"We should go get something to eat," I suggest.

"We can," she shrugs.

"Not hungry?"

"Not really."

"You fill up on that clay?"

"Actually I'm all out of it."

"When's your next doctor's appointment?" I ask. She shakes her head. "Have you talked to your doctor about eating that stuff?"

"My doctor's back home. And it looks like we're going to be staying here."

"You want my doctor's info?"

"Are they accepting new patients? The places I've tried around here all say they're full."

"Did you tell them you're pregnant?"

"They didn't ask."

"I'm pretty sure you'll be fine." I pull out my phone. I send her a quick message with Dr. Jones' info. "We should go get burgers," I suggest. She needs the iron.

"Sure."

"Here's your chicken wire, ma'am."

"Thank you," I accept it.

We make our way over to the cashier.

"So…has switching to Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap helped?" That stuff is magic. I switched Peeta to the almond scented one. Between that and his normal cinnamonny sugary musk, my mouth waters when he gets too close. The man smells good enough to eat.

"Yeah... but not really."

"What's wrong?"

"Well… Finn does smell better. But…we still haven't…"

"Still?" I ask. They haven't had sex in over 3 months. Peeta and I would lose our minds.

"Yeah. Finn must think I'm crazy by now."

"Poor guy is probably feeling some kind of way himself."

"I know. But the idea of doing that now," she shakes her head. "It just doesn't appeal."

I try not to think of the two times I've already had sex today… and how I fully intend to go back for thirds tonight. I wonder if Peeta will fuck me on the stairs again.

I pull myself from my thoughts and notice Annie licking her lips as she stares at another potted plant.

"You should call Dr. Jones ASAP."

X

I drag the black sharpie against DJ's skin and shake head at myself. I definitely didn't consult with Peeta on this one. DJ smiles as she watches me draw. I pull back and admire my work.

"There," I say. "You like them?"

DJ looks down at the three birds I've drawn on her collarbone and smiles. "Just like Tris."

"Good. Let's get going then. Movies at 5:15. And we still have to pick up your friend...you sure you only want to bring one?"

"I'm sure. It'll give me a chance to hang out with Cecilia. Besides, I don't really like any of the other girls anymore."

DJ's friend Cecilia is new in town. I'm selfishly relieved that DJ's chosen a friend whose mother didn't screw around with my fiancé.

I worry that DJ's social situation at school is a direct result of his past trysts.

DJ grabs her grey hoodie and pulls it over her shoulders. She steps outside and frowns when she sees the Land Rover.

"We're taking daddy's car?"

I nod. "We didn't want to move Rue's booster seat," I tell her.

"Oh... It's just... I like the Audi better."

"Well, this car makes quite the impression too," I say. "Come on."

I climb into the car and adjust the seat. Peeta likes to ride really low for some reason. He's tall, but not that tall. I lift the seat up then push it back, allowing my belly some space.

DJ is in the front seat, watching me.

"Are they moving yet?"

"I'm sure they are. But I don't feel it yet."

She looks disappointed.

"You see how big they're getting?" She nods. "Don't I seem bigger than usual?" She shrugs.

I lift my shirt, revealing the snacks I've got hidden under my sweatshirt. DJ laughs. "I'll get you your popcorn. But no way am I paying 5 bucks for a bag of skittles!"

X

I open the door to the house and find the baker sitting on the couch with a book in his hands. I see he's opted to read one of the books I suggested. And by suggested, I mean left in the couch for him to find.

"Hey, ladies!"

"Hey daddy!"

"What are you reading, baker?"

"Well I started with that article on genetics, but I couldn't make head or tails of it. So I'm reading this," He holds up my worn copy of "_The Sprit Catches You and You Fall Down_." "It's... interesting."

"Keep reading."

"I will. Leave it here." He tucks the book back betwix the cushions and stands. "How was the movie?"

"Good," I say. I step into the kitchen.

"It wasn't good. It was awesome! People were all dressed up. And Katniss snuck in a bunch of candy!"

Peeta pulls DJ into his arms for a quick hug hello. "Is that so?" DJ nods.

"How about Cecilia?"

"She liked the movie too. I really like her, daddy."

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself, baby girl."

I set the plastic bag I'm carrying onto the kitchen counter. I close my eyes and yawn. When I open my eyes, Peeta's beside me. He greets me with a chaste kiss, one hand cupping my jaw, the other on my belly. He pulls away.

"What's all this?"

"Chinese food." I take a deep breath. It smells good.

"Where from?"

"The place over on Emmet. They don't give me a hard time when I ask them not to add tasting salt or soy sauce."

Peeta peers into the bag. "Why'd you get so much?"

"I'm hungry."

"Look mommy!" Rue appears at the bottom of the steps. She spins, showing me her new outfit. She's wearing brown breeches, tall black boots, leather half chaps, and a coat. Peeta's gone overboard. We only discussed new boots and a pair of _suede_ half-chaps.

"You look like you're ready to show," I say as I look at her.

"Uh-huh! And Peeta says I can definitely ride tomorrow afternoon."

"Does he?" I look over at Peeta. He brings his thumb to DJ's collarbone and frowns as he tries to wipe her skin.

"Stop it," DJ complains. "You'll smear it!"

"Can I? Seems like it's on there."

"Permanent ink," she says happily.

"What?" Peeta's eyes cut over to me.

"Relax, baker. It was a sharpie, not a tattoo gun."

"Oh."

DJ turns away. "Ooh! Rue, look at you!"

"You like it?"

"You look awesome!"

"Here's the best part," Rue says as she tugs her blue leopard print socks out of her boot. "They're long enough and they're cute."

I look over at Peeta. Rue begs me for those $9 socks ever time we go there. "You spoiled her," I say quietly.

"Yeah, a little..."

"You don't have to do that, she's already sold on you."

Peeta chuckles. "She deserves a little spoiling every now and then. Look at her smile."

Rue's dimples are on full display as she and DJ gush over her new clothes. Likewise, DJ's laugh is just a little brighter than it's been all week.

"Girls, go get washed up and ready to eat. Rue, put on pajamas. Don't keep those breeches on. I want you both back down here in ten minutes," Peeta says. I'm surprised by the authority in his voice. The girls obey, of course, and I press my thighs together as they rush up the stairs.

"Baker," I begin.

Peeta raises an eyebrow at me. "We definitely don't have time right now."

"How am I supposed to resist you," I ask stepping closer to him. "When you command a room like that?" I press my fingertips against his stomach and enjoy the feeling of his muscles tenses under my touch.

"Let's at least feed the children first." He kisses me once and I immediately melt into him.

"Mmmm," I sigh against his lips. He liked the sound- I can tell by the way he shifts his hips, adjusting himself. I bring my hands to his hair and my fingers twist in his locks as I pull him closer. I deepen our kiss, insistent upon keeping our connection going.

"Damn it, woman." He breathes against me. His hands move to palm my breasts over my shirt. I've gone up nearly a cup size. Peeta doesn't mind. He kisses me again. "You're making me hard."

I reach down and press my palm against the bulge in his pants. It's true. He's as hard for me as I am wet for him. I move my hand against him and he shudders.

"I want to feel you inside of me," I whisper. His hips buck against my hand.

"You're teasing me," he groans. "I'll make you pay for this later."

"Promise?" I pull his bottom lip into my mouth and suck greedily on his flesh. I release him with a popping sound.

"You'll regret that," he cautions me.

"Will I?"

"Mmhmm," his hand cups my sex. My knees turn to jelly and I bring my hands to his shoulders to steady myself. "Before this night is over, I'll have you on your hands and knees begging me to fuck you."

My entire body shakes with his words. I was wet before, but now my underwear is drenched. "Fuck," I whisper.

I can hardly wait.

Peeta's index finger finds my jaw and he turns me to look at him. "Set the table, Katniss."

"What?" His other hand is rubbing me. I can't focus on what he's saying.

"Set the table." His tongue traces my bottom lip. "Let's feed the girls." My stomach grumbles and Peeta's hands both move to my belly. "The twins are hungry too," he says looking down.

I roll my eyes and uncomfortably make my way over to the cupboards. I retrieve plates and enter the dining room. Peeta's already in here, setting a cake box onto the table.

"You made her a cake?"

"Just a little something."

"Let me see it," I say as I walk closer.

Peeta pulls the cardboard back to reveal three small cakes, shaped like birds, not dissimilar from the "tattoos" I drew on DJ earlier, covered in black fondant.

"She's going to love it," I tell him.

Peeta smiles at me. We work in comfortable silence for a minute, setting the table together.

"Finn and Annie want to have us over soon."

"To his parents house?"

"Yeah...they're looking for a place to stay, since Finn's transfer just got approved."

"Yeah, Annie mentioned that."

"But in the meantime, they're still with his folks. Doesn't mean they don't want the company of guests."

"I suppose not."

"Maybe next weekend? We're busy this weekend."

"Sure. I'll text Annie before then… One of us should probably say something to Finn about her eating habits. And by 'one of us,' I mean 'you.'"

Peeta chuckles. "You still worried about the clay?"

"I'm more worried about the dirt."

"Dirt?"

I nod my head. "All right. I'll mention it."

"Gently."

"Of course."

"Mommy, I'm hungry!"

"Good!" Peeta says.

"Come on. It's time to eat." I tell her.

DJ appears at the foot of the steps. "There's our birthday girl!" Peeta beams.

We sing happy birthday as she approaches the dining room.

"Daddy, you made me cake?"

"Of course, baby girl."

"Thank you." DJ smiles wide as she claims a seat. "I'm having a great birthday. I got to see a PG-13 movie with my new friend and new my mom-" she cuts herself off. She frowns as her eyes find the floor.

Peeta and I share a look.

"You called me mom? You sure it's not _my_ birthday?" DJ gives me a puzzled look. "We can make that official, if you want."

Peeta grabs my hand under the table and squeezes.

"Yes!" DJ all but shouts.

"Shh! Inside voice," Rue scolds.

"We'll take care of that soon," Peeta says. "Now let's eat."

X

A whimper escapes my lips. But I refuse to beg. Not yet, anyway. The torture of waiting will get me off in its own way.

I'm still shaking from the high Peeta caused with his fingers. I'm laying on my side. My hips still buck involuntarily. I roll and prop myself up onto my hands and knees. I do my best to keep myself up while Peeta's finger gently traces through my folds. I bite my lip to stifle a gasp.

"Beg for it, Katniss."

I shake my head. He gently pinches my clit and I let out a shaky breath. Peeta's fingertips graze my thighs.

"You're dripping," he tells me. "You must want it badly."

"Y-yes. I want it."

"That's not good enough." I feel the bed shift. Peeta's kneeling behind me. I wiggle my ass and lean back searching for him. But his hands find my hips and he holds me in place. "You know what I want to hear."

I drop to my elbows, and note the slight moan that escapes his lips when he sees me presenting myself to him like this. I widen my knees for him.

"Do you see something you like?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Are you going to take it?"

"I want to." His hands move to my ass as he spreads me open. I know he's looking at me, and it's making me even wetter still.

"Tell me what you're going to do to me."

"I'm going to take my cock and sink it as deep into your pussy as I can."

Oh, fuck. I love hearing him say "pussy." It doesn't happen often enough.

"You're gonna fuck me hard?"

"Mhmm."

"Slow?"

"However you want it." He teases my clit with the tip of his cock.

"Damn. I'm so wet for you."

"I can see that. I can smell it too."

He presses the tip of his length against my opening. "You can have me, Katniss. You know what I want to hear. Say it and ill fuck you."

My body is ready for him. And he's right _there_. I can't take it anymore.

"Fuck me, Peeta. Please."

I shut my eyes and grab two fistfuls of sheets as he finally gives me what I want. He presses into me slowly. He doesn't stop until I'm completely full and he's buried himself to the hilt. He slowly pulls out, and my body objects. I clench around him. My flesh grips him, trying to keep him close.

"That felt good," he says.

I nod my head. "Do it again."

He obliges, moving a little quicker this time, but the pace is still agonizing. And perfect.

"I love fucking you slow like this. I can feel your whole body."

"I feel every inch of you."

"You like it?"

"Mhmm."

"You want it harder?"

I nod furiously.

My eyes fly open as Peeta slams roughly into me. He pulls out slowly, like he did before. I hold my breath and wait for his next punishing hard stroke. He doesn't disappoint.

"Ahhh!" I moan at the height of every thrust.

Peeta picks up the pace, pushing into me quicker but just as hard. I rock my hips, and meet his thrust every single time. Soon I feel drops of his sweat fall onto my back. He doesn't wipe them, and I'm grateful. I want him on my skin.

Peeta sits back on his haunches, never breaking our connection, and tugs on my hips. I push myself upright and lower myself into his lap. His hands wander my body. He squeezes my breasts, and kisses my neck. We move our hips together.

"Yes," I moan. The new angle allows me to participate more. As much I enjoy letting him fuck me, I love this too. Peeta's hands find my inner thighs. He squeezes my flesh as I move my hips in circles.

"Your hands-" I gasp. I can't get enough of his hands on me. I circle my hips faster for him.

Fuck, its good.

"Keep doing that," he says with a thick voice. His fingertips will probably bruise my skin but I don't care. And I don't dare stop. Not when he's so close.

"I want you to cum inside of me, Peeta."

"I'm close," he pants against my neck.

His kisses on my neck stop and I inhale sharply as I feel his teeth sink into my shoulder. He's holding back.

"Let go for me. It feels so good when you cum."

"Fuck, Katniss!"

I circle my hips a few more times before Peeta pulls me close. I hiss as his fingernails break the skin, leaving half moon-shaped scratches on my inner thighs. His teeth in my shoulder send another jolt of pain through my body. But it helps. My senses overload as he causes my body so much pleasure and pain at once. Encouraged by the feeling of him spilling into me, I find my release.

"Peeta!" I cry out as my walls contract around him.

"I feel you," he manages, still enraptured with his own orgasm.

I slump forward, landing on my hands and knees. Peeta pulls out of me and I collapse to my side. I'm sated, exhausted. I close my eyes.

"Katniss. ...That felt good," Peeta says, still trying to catch his breath.

"You ready to go again?"

"What?"

I laugh. "I'm just playing with you."

"That's not funny."

"Yeah it is," I say as I sit up. I stretch my hands above my head. I feel Peeta's gaze on me.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just...watching them grow."

"Reminds you of watching DJ?"

Peeta frowns. "I didn't get to watch DJ. Not like this."

"I'm sorry."

"No! I only meant that I'm enjoying it now. Watching your body change, grow swollen with my children. It's so sexy."

"Oh. You find double chins sexy?"

"As a matter of fact, I do."

X

"Well?"

"It's perfect!" DJ yells from the basement. I hear her bound up the stairs. "Can I have the bedroom in the basement?"

"You don't want one of the rooms upstairs?" Peeta asks.

DJ shakes her head. "No, I like it down there."

"I don't see why not." I smile.

Peeta turns to me. "We were going to put a movie room down there," he complains. If someone's supposed to be asleep down there, that won't do.

"Let's fix up the attic then. We can even knock out half the ceiling so it feels more open."

Peeta looks up, imagining the possibility. He's determined to make this place his dream home.

"If DJ is all the way downstairs, then we won't have to soundproof nearly as much." I take him by the hand and lead him up the stairs. "We'll have to sound proof here," I gesture to the patch of ceiling that I'm suggesting will be the movie room. "...and this wall," I say leaning into Rue's bedroom and patting the wall it shares with the twins' room.

"Oh! Hey, baby," I say, taking note of Rue standing in her new room, assessing the walls.

"Hi mommy. Peeta, will you help me paint this room black and pink?"

Peeta looks at me and I shake my head no. "How about it we make it pink with a black trim?" he suggests.

"All right...I think I wanna paint some hearts and skulls on the wall. Right here," she points.

"Hmm... Maybe," Peeta says. "You keep thinking about it and we'll decide together later, all right?"

"All right."

Peeta steps out of the room and turns back to me.

"I refuse to make that room look like Monster High," I tell him. Her spy obsession is fading. I kind of miss it.

"She's suggestible. Don't worry about it. I got it."

I smile at Peeta. Then I point up. "So what do you think?"

"About the attic?"

"Mhmm."

"It's an idea..."

I step closer to him. "You know she'll just be downstairs, right? Under the same roof and everything."

"I know. I'm just used to our 2-bedroom apartment. She's usually closer to me at night."

"I understand." He opens his arms and I step into his embrace. "But, we're going to have two newborns up here, and all the crying that comes with them. She'll be in high school in the fall. She needs to be able to sleep."

"What about Rue?

"Rue's still young and needs to be closer to us... But like I said, soundproofing that wall will be helpful for her."

Peeta sighs. "I'm not used to making decisions by committee."

"I know. I'm out of practice, myself."

"You think this could work out?"

"I do. Trust me, you're both going to appreciate the space as she gets a little older."

"Fine...but we're going to do something about those windows down there." I give him a confused look. "I was a teenaged boy once. A terribly behaved one, as we all know. I could've easily slipped into the house through windows like that and done bad things to someone's daughter, especially knowing her parents were two floors up and would never hear anything."

Suddenly the basement seems so sinister. "Oh my god! Put bars on them!"

Peeta laughs.

"Relax, professor. I didn't mean to worry you." He hugs me tighter. "It'll all be fine." I smile against his chest. "We should probably head over to the Sheriff's office soon."

"Oh..."

"We should marry before we tackle any of this house stuff."

"All right"

"I assume you prefer to get married on paper for now. Have a ceremony of some kind later on, once the twins are here?"

I smile. "Yes, that would be perfect."

He kisses the top of my head. "We'll go to the Sheriff's office on Monday then, after we pick up a license."

The marriage license costs $30. My divorce cost me nearly $3,000. I don't mean to, but a laugh escapes my lips.

"What is it?"

"Nothing it's just...so easy to get married."

"Easy? As opposed to?"

"Getting divorced."

"Oh. Well, you won't be doing that again," he promises.

I believe him.

X

"Whoo! Go, baby!" I yell from the stand. I smile proudly as I watch Rue make another jump. She's riding Sally. I glance over to the other arena where DJ is finally learning to canter. She smiles my way and Sae follows her eyes over to me. I wave at them both.

I sit back down next to Peeta. I grip the wooden bench with my hands on either side of me.

"Here." Peeta offers me hand sanitizer. Again. He really doesn't want me to be here.

"Stop it," I tell him.

"I think you should let me take them riding."

"Peeta, it's fine."

"If you're not supposed to clean up cat litter while you're pregnant, how can being on a horse farm possibly be a good thing?"

"Cat litter is filthy. Besides, I ain't mucking stalls out here."

"There's horseshit everywhere!" he says louder than I think he intended to. It's kind of an _obvious_ thing to yell, given where we are. So, he attracts the attention the other parents.

"Christ! Look, it's bad enough I can't ride." I rode until I was 20 weeks with Rue. But, I'm carrying multiples this time and my doctor has "strongly advised against" horseback riding. "If I can't at least be around here, I'm going to lose my mind."

Peeta sighs in defeat. "At least... Use the purell?"

I roll my eyes and extend my palm.

X

"Well, shit, boy. You're here. Guess I owe Abernathy a drink... Y'all still got that distillery?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Sheriff," Peeta replies as he greets the man with a hearty handshake.

"Mmhm... You Mellarks been making moonshine since the 30s."

"I plead the fifth."

"Fine. But if a bottle should just happen to make its way into my office, well, that'd be all right."

"I'll keep that in mind. Now, may I introduce you to my lovely fiancé?"

"Yes, please." The heavy-set man turns to face me.

"Professor, this is-"

"Sheriff Heavensbee," I smile.

"Katniss Everdeen? You're marrying little Katniss Everdeen?"

"You know her?"

"She was quite the trouble maker... After you and your brothers were done raising hell out here, someone had to take over. Heathens."

I blush and Peeta looks over to me.

"What'd he get you for?"

I shrug a shoulder. "Hunting."

"Hunting?" Plutarch laughs. "This one used to use cars on the highway for target practice."

"Really?"Peeta asks.

"I needed moving targets. Besides, I only hit the tires," I explain. "And I never missed." Peeta laughs.

"Well, as much time as you both spent here, it's no wonder your paths crossed."

"Actually, we didn't meet until last year."

"Really? Well, I guess when it's meant to be…Just the two of you today?"

"Mhmm. We'll have a ceremony with the children later on." Peeta says.

"How many y'all got now?"

Peeta puts his hand on my belly. "This makes four."

"God bless."

"Thank you," we reply in unison.

"Y'all have your license?"

"Mmhmm," Peeta hands it to him.

"And proof of dissolution of previous marriages?"

"Right here," I hand him my paperwork.

"All right then. How are we doing this?"

"Quick and dirty. I have to get back up to the college." I look at Peeta apologetically.

"All right. I'll get you a witness. Darius! Get out here, Deputy!"

Sheriff Heavensbee sits on his desk. Darius leans into the room holding himself up with the door molding.

"Do you take this woman? Yada Yada Yada... Forsaking all others, as long as y'all live?"

"Yes, I do."

"Do you take this man... Blah blah blah, all that jazz?"

"I do."

"Good. Kiss her."

Peeta laughs as he presses his lips to mine. This ceremony is _so_ romantic.

"Y'all got rings?"

"Oh. Right..." Peeta pulls out two Tiffany Blue boxes from his coat pocket. He slides the wedding band, which compliments my engagement ring, onto my finger. He hands me his ring, a platinum band, which DJ also picked out, and I slide it onto his finger.

"I pronounce you two pains in my ass married. Hope to never have to arrest your children."

"Thanks," we say again.

"Here's your paperwork," Sheriff Heavesnbee says handing the signed documents to Peeta. "Now get the hell out."

We exchange smiles with him as we leave the Sheriff's office... As man and wife.

Peeta grabs my hand and turns to me. "Got time for a root beer float before your next class?"

"Peeta," I sigh. "There's _always_ time for a root beer float."

A few minutes later, as I bring a spoonful of ice cream to my lips, I realize that I'm married again.

"Shit!"

"What!?" Peeta gasps, and his eyes fly to my belly. "What's wrong?"

"We're married!"

Peeta let's out a sigh of relief. "Yeah... Yeah, we are. How do you feel about that?"

"Good... But... We're not done yet. Are we?" Peeta frowns at me. "We'll still need to see Judge Abernathy about DJ." Peeta smiles.

"You want to go right now?"

"Yeah... I don't like leaving this half baked."

"We need to make a stop first."

Peeta takes my hand and leads me to the car. I'm still slurping up my drink as he shuts my door and moves over to the other side.

"Where are we going now?" I ask as he pulls out of the parking lot.

"To the bakery. Need to pick something up for the judge," he says.

It's a short drive, and I spend it wondering if I've ever had a more productive lunch hour. We ride in silence, exchanging small smiles along the way.

"You want anything?" Peeta asks as he pulls into the driveway and throws it into park.

"Butter... Something with butter," I answer.

I barely have time to adjust the radio station before Peeta comes back. He sets a bag down at my feet and hands me a croissant. I devour it long before we make it to the courthouse.

When we finally make it outside of Judge Abernathy's chambers, our plan hits a speedbump.

"I'm sorry, but Judge Abernathy doesn't accept walk-ins," the law clerk explains.

"Just tell him the youngest Mellark is here to see him."

"I'm sorry but-"

The door opens behind us and Judge Abernathy appears. He takes one look at us, and then he chuckles under his breath.

"You need to make an appointment, Sweetheart."

Peeta sets a mason jar filled with moonshine down onto law clerk's desk. Abernathy's eyes widen.

"Come on in."

He swipes the jar off the counter and we follow him into his chambers. Peeta shuts the door behind us.

Abernathy looks at the rings on my finger. "Seems you took my advice."

"Um... Yeah," I say looking over to Peeta. He gives me a confused look but I roll my eyes. "Didn't exactly work like a charm."

"But it did work." Abernathy smiles.

"Sort of. If you consider Gale having spent the past few weeks in England 'working,'" I challenge.

"I do." I laugh. This guy is such a smartass. "He paying his child support?"

I nod.

"He'll come around then. Now, what's all this about?" He takes out his flask and pours some of the moonshine into it. Then he takes a swig directly from the jar. "Good stuff," he comments.

"I'd like to adopt my stepdaughter."

"Does Ms. Cartwright agree to that?"

"She skipped town," Peeta explains.

"When?"

"Twelve years ago."

Abernathy nods. "I'm quite familiar with this case. I should advise you that termination of parental rights in this commonwealth is serious business."

"You didn't terminate her parental rights when you got custody?" I ask, looking between him and Peeta.

"We don't do that unless there's someone willing to take on those rights legally, such as yourself."

"Oh."

"You'll have to notify her," Abernathy continues. "Every effort must be made."

"But-" Peeta begins.

"I'll have the law clerk alert her. We'll send said notification to Ms. Cartwright's last known address."

Peeta smiles. Her last known address is the bakery. Abernathy leans in. "Just write 'unknown tenant' or something like that when you get the envelope and send it on back. After three attempts, I'll draw up the paperwork naming your bride her guardian."

"Thank you," I say.

"Yeah yeah," he takes another swig. "Now get the hell out."

Peeta and I step outside of his chambers without another word. We exit the courthouse and make our way back to the Land Rover.

"What now?" I ask.

"Um... Well... I suppose we go see my - our accountant. Make an offer on that Monticello house."

"Then?"

"We live our lives. Together."

X


	16. Stuck in a Box - Part 2

**Don't forget to review!**

* * *

_"You can remain stuck in a box."_

_Part 2_

I pull into the long line of cars outside of the middle school and I wait for DJ. She steps outside, walking next to her friend, Cecilia. She pauses while she scans through the vehicles. When she spots the Audi, she smiles. She takes a few paces in our direction then stops and turns around. Someone's called her. She waves to Cecilia, who shortly disappears into one of the other vehicles on the line. A moment later Mrs. Undersee appears. She passes DJ what looks like a small stack of papers. They walk together towards us, and I feel the tension rise with every step. Soon, the sound of my fingertips slapping the heel of my hand echoes through the air, as I open and close my hands. I force myself to stop. I roll down the passenger side window as they approach. DJ stops outside the vehicle and lingers by the door.

"So we'll see you Friday right after classes end," Mrs. Undersee says. Her eyes drift up and she startles when she sees me in the driver's seat.

"Oh! Hi, Mrs. Haw- Ms. Everdeen."

"It's Mrs. Mellark," DJ corrects. After much deliberation, it's actually **Mrs. Katniss E. H. Mellark** now, but I don't correct her. The folks over at the social security office are sick of looking at me.

I smile with my lips tightly pressed together. "Hello again, Mrs. Undersee."

"It's Ms.," she says quietly. Seems someone's had to make some changes, herself.

"Oh."

DJ looks between us, the awkwardness clearly lost on her. Thank goodness. She opens the passenger side door.

"So, we'll see you and Mr. Mellark Friday evening for the show, then?" she asks.

"Of course," I answer.

**Ms**. Undersee offers me a sad smile before she turns away. I don't return it.

"Hey mamakat!" DJ says as she climbs into her seat I smile. I'm still getting used to her calling me that.

"Hey sweetie," I say.

"Hi Rue," she calls to the back seat. She sets her book bag down at her feet and turns her attention to us.

"Hi!"

DJ leans over and pats my belly. "Hey in there," she says. She pulls away seconds before they start to kick.

"What are we doing today?" DJ asks.

"Well... I have an appointment at the hospital. "

DJ gasps. "You find out today?"

"Mmhmm."

"And we get to come?" I nod. DJ squeals. "Yay! Awesome!"

"Let's go get Peeta then."

"Are we stopping by the bakery?" Rue asks.

"Yes, baby, we are."

"Good. I've been thinking about those mini cheesecakes since lunchtime."

"I put one with chocolate chips aside for you. It should be there... unless daddy ate it."

He didn't. Peeta's been so nervous about today, his appetite has been non-existent for the past week.

A short time later, Peeta holds my hand tightly as the ultrasound technician plays around with the knobs on the machine.

"Your doctor told you you're carrying twins already, right?" she asks. She presses the probe against my belly with almost uncomfortable force.

"Yes, we've known for a few weeks," I reply.

Peeta and I look at the images of the babies she's taking on the screen.

"They're measuring big, for multiples." She says with a smile.

"Huh?"

"You're 19 weeks, 4 days. They're measuring a little big. About what we'd like to see at 21 weeks."

"Is that bad?" Peeta asks.

"No, it's fine. All right... It looks like they're both positioned well. Would you like to know the sexes?"

"Yes!" we say in unison.

"Looks like Baby A is... a boy."

I watch a smile spread across Peeta's face.

"And Baby B is... also a boy." My mouth falls open.

Peeta, as expected, has all but forgotten that I'm in the room. He's having a discussion with my belly about sports. "...then I'll teach y'all how to throw a football..."

"Congratulations," the technician says to me as she hands me a strip of sonogram photos.

"Thank you." I accept them.

"...and you're going to love Star Trek."

"Hey!" I interrupt. "Science fiction is my department."

Peeta flashes me a wide toothy smile. "Sorry!"

"That's better."

Peeta rolls his eyes at me. "Come on, let's go tell the girls."

The technician is still taking a few photos of what's going on in my belly.

"Can I finish up here?" I ask.

"Oh... Mmhmm," Peeta says, but I hear his foot tap impatiently.

"Here," I hand him my phone. "Tell Prim to come up here. We should tell them all together."

"All right," he says, refusing my phone and pulling his out instead. He sends her a quick text message. His phone buzzes instantly with her reply.

"She's already out there waiting," Peeta tells me.

A few minutes and measurements later, the ultrasound technician removes the probe from my belly. "Everything looks good."

"Great!" Peeta says, standing up right away.

"Calm down, baker. They'll still be boys in two minutes."

"You're right. I'm sorry." He says as he helps me sit up. I pull the ugly panel of my worn out maternity pants over my bump.

"It's fine. Let's go tell them."

Peeta and I exit the ultrasound room and make out way back towards the waiting area. He's holding tightly onto my right hand and walking a step ahead of me. As we approach, I can see Rue sitting in Prim's lap, reading a book. DJ is flipping through a magazine, tapping her foot impatiently, much like her father does. DJ spots us first and she stands straight up. She runs over to us and throws her arms around Peeta's waist.

"Well?" she asks excitedly.

"You think we should tell her?" I raise an eyebrow to Peeta.

"What? Of course you're gonna tell me!" She takes step back to look between us.

"I don't know, baby girl. I seem to have forgotten all what went on in there."

The look on DJ's face causes us both to burst into laughter.

"All right, we'll tell you. Just stop making that face," I say.

"Go get your sister first," Peeta says.

DJ rolls her eyes and spins on her heel. She rushes over to Rue and pulls the book from her hands.

"What's wrong DJ?"

"Daddy wants you," she says.

She picks Rue up off of Prim's lap by her underarms and hurries back over to us, jostling her all the way. She deposits a confused Rue down in front of Peeta while I laugh into his shoulder.

"What was that?" Peeta asks not able to control his own laughter.

"You said…to get… Rue," she pants. She brings her hands to her hips.

"Did you find out mommy?" Rue asks.

"Yes we did. You want to know?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Hold on," Prim says as she quickly moves to stand behind the girls. "I want to hear this too."

"All right. Now tell us!" DJ says. She's serious.

I extend the strip of sonogram photos with my left hand. "We're having…"

"BOYS!" Peeta beams.

"Oh my god!" the girls say in unison.

DJ and Rue jump up and down while Prim reaches for the sonogram photos. "Both of them?" she asks. I nod. She's as surprised as I am.

DJ and Rue have turned their attention to my belly. "Hey in there, little brothers!" DJ says.

Rue looks up at me. "What are we gonna name them?"

"I'm not sure," I tell her. I glance over to Peeta, who looks equally contemplative.

"I reckon we'll all have ideas," Peeta says. He brings our still intertwined fingers to his lips. "Let me feed you. Make those boys nice and strong!"

X

DJ's head pokes out from behind the large red curtain on stage and she scans the room for us. When she spots us, her smile widens and she waves. We wave back, and she disappears. I sit between Peeta and Rue shifting in my chair. The fold-down seats of the auditorium are uncomfortable, but I try not to complain. Peeta lifts the armrest separating us, and pulls me to rest against him.

"Better?"

"Not really," I admit.

"What's wrong?"

"Its my lower back," I say as I shrug his hand off my shoulder. I stand up bring my hands to my lower back. "Its probably my sciatic nerve. I'm going to take a walk."

"You want me to come?"

"No, I want you to stay with Rue. I'll only be a minute. I need to stretch."

"Are you all right, mommy?"

"Yes, baby, I'm fine." I turn to her. "Why don't you shift down one and sit next to Peeta?

"All right." She changes seats.

"Don't miss the beginning of the show." Peeta tells me.

"I won't," I say as I make my way through the aisle. My belly presses against the back of every chair I pass. I walk out of the auditorium and the heavy doors shut behind me. It's empty out here. The show is about to begin and most of the families are inside. I lean against a wall and sink down into a squat. I collect the skirt of my dress between my legs. Its not the most ladylike position, but I really don't give a shit. My knees are parted and I rest my hands on them while I breath deeply, finally finding some relief. I shut my eyes and drop my head back against the wall.

"Katniss, darling."

So much for relief.

"You feeling all right?"

"I'm fine, Glimmer." I open my eyes. "What brings you here?"

"My niece is in the play."

"Your niece?"

"Cashmere."

Of course. I nod my head.

"Here," she extends a hand to me. "Let me help you up."

I hesitate a moment before extending my hand to hers. "Thank you," I accept.

"How are feeling?" she asks looking down at my belly.

"I'm well."

"What are you? 6 months along?"

"Not quite."

She purses her lips together and stares at me.

"We're friends, right?" she asks. I raise my eyebrows. Since when are we friends? I don't answer. "Its just… I could use some friendly advice."

"About what?"

"Marriage."

"I'm on my second marriage, Glimmer. You probably don't want my advice."

"That's exactly why I do want your advice. … I have reason to believe my husband has had indiscretions."

"And that's a problem for you?"

She smiles. "Fair question. I realize it's hypocritical but yes, it is. You've been in a similar situation with Mr. Hawthorne. How did you know when to …let go?"

"I'm not comfortable discussing specifics with you, but my general opinion of infidelity at this point in life is that it's more of a symptom than the actual problem."

"A symptom?"

"When you're married, in the middle of a life you've built together, raised children together, you don't usually just go out looking for sex. There are usually deeper reasons behind it."

"Is that why you-"

"I told you. No specifics."

She sighs. "I don't understand. "

"Well, I'm probably not the person with the answers you need. But sexual gratification is probably not the motivator. "

"I guess I should figure out what is then."

"That's a good place to start."

"Thank you, Katniss."

"Mmhmm," I say as I turn away from her.

"And tell Mr. Mellark I said hello."

"Oh, honey. I won't be doing that."

I hear her chuckle as I make my way back into the auditorium.

"You feeling better?" Peeta asks.

"Sort of," I reply as I sit back down. Peeta's arm stretches across Rue's seat and he presses his thumb to the side of my neck, gently massaging me.

"How about Rider and Roger?"

I shake my head at him.

"Henry and Hunter?

"No way." I smile as the house lights dim.

When DJ appears on the stage, I can't help but smile proudly. She carries herself with such poise and confidence, despite the trouble I know she's been dealing with behind the scenes. When she sings, I look over to Peeta. He's watching her while wearing a smile even wider and more filled with pride than my own.

All too quickly it's over. The crowd applauds her performance and she bows, standing center stage with the rest of her costars. We hurry backstage to meet her.

"Congratulations! Peeta beams. He hands her a bouquet of yellow roses.

"Thank you, daddy!" she says as she accepts them.

Peeta leans over and picks Rue up. It's crowded backstage, and he doesn't want her to get trampled.

"You sang really good, DJ," Rue says.

"Thanks," DJ Smiles.

"Hey DJ," a male voice says.

"Hey, Woof!" DJ smiles.

Peeta looks at me and mouths "Woof?" I shake my head at him.

"That was quite the performance, young man," I say to Kyle –er, Woof.

"Thank you, Ms. E."

"It's Mrs. Mellark," Peeta corrects. He extends a hand to the boy. "And I'm Mr. Mellark. DJ's father."

"Right, yeah. Nice to meet you," Woof says. He shakes Peeta's hand. Woof turns back to DJ. "So, Ms. Undersee is taking the whole cast out for pizza. You're coming, right?"

DJ looks to us expectantly. Peeta opens his mouth, I know he's going to object.

"Go," I say before he has the chance to speak. "But we're going to pick you up soon. It's getting late." Peeta looks at me with a stern expression on his face. "It's already 8:30…We'll fetch her at 10:00?" I continue.

"Yeah?" DJ asks.

"Katniss," Peeta says.

"It would be good for her to spend some time with her co-stars. They've earned a little pizza."

Peeta's eyes drift to Woof and he sizes the poor kid up. Then he turns to DJ.

"9:30."

I smile.

X

"Ethan & Evan?"

"Pass!" I say. My voice is muffled.

"Whatever. You need some new maternity clothes," Prim says. She's laying on my bed while I dig around in my closet. "Rue was born in August. All your summer stuff is worn out. Especially in the crotch."

"I can assure you that my crotch gets a lot more action now than it ever did with Gale."

"Eew."

"I just don't see the point of buying new things when I have perfectly acceptable pieces right here." I toss her a pair of Old Navy jean shorts.

"Peeta's taking y'all on a Disney Cruise. You don't think he's going to want to show you off?"

"I know he does."

"So, let him!"

I sigh as I rest on the floor and rub my belly in a soothing circular motion. "I don't want him to."

"Why not?"

"Have you seen me? I'm huge!" At 21 weeks, I look more than 6 months pregnant.

"You ain't that big," Prim assures me.

"I already gained 25 pounds!"

"Katniss-"

"We shouldn't be going on this trip anyway. We closed on the house on Monday. I need to pack this place up. "

"Oh, please, Katniss. You're not going until after you move anyway. Both you and Rue deserve a break. So go let your perfect Disney Prince of a man buy you a house and then take you island hopping through the Caribbean and quit complaining."

"Maybe you're right."

"Of course I'm right! Now get up! Let's get you to Destination Maternity."

X

"Let's take the shorter trail," DJ suggests. "So I can finish up my chores sooner."

"All right," Rue agrees as she walks Editor over to the stairs.

Peeta and I stand just outside of the barn, waiting on the girls. His arm rubs my shoulder as I lean against him.

"You need help?" DJ asks.

"No, I can reach it now."

Rue's grown two inches this winter. She's gonna be tall, like her father.

"Good," DJ says as she fits her left foot into the stirrup and pulls herself up. She swings her leg over Harriet, the horse she rides most often.

"You sleeping over tonight?" Rue asks.

"I think so." DJ turns to Peeta. "Daddy?"

"Yeah baby girl, we are."

"I can't wait until we move," Rue says. "Then we'll see each other every day."

"Ditto," Peeta says looking down at me.

"Next weekend," DJ smiles. She pulls on the reigns. "Let's go."

As soon as they're out of sight Peeta leans down and presses his lips to mine. He pulls away. "Why don't you go on over to Gearhart's?"

I frown at him. "Peeta-"

"You've already been out here half an hour."

"You're timing me now?"

"Come on, Katniss. They're out on the trails today. Not like you can watch 'em ride. Plus I have some chores left to do around here."

"I can keep you company."

"I'm mucking stalls."

I sigh heavily.

"Please, professor?"

I roll my eyes. "Fine. But I don't want chocolate."

"Really?"

I give him a look. "I suppose I can go do something for myself."

"Yes, you can. Whatever you want." He kisses me again. "The girls and I will be home in a couple of hours."

"Home?"

Peeta smiles. "For all intents and purposes. Unless you want us to go back to the apartment?"

I shake my head. "Rue doesn't have any overnight stuff there."

"All right. So we'll see you in a little while." He tugs my hand, urging me towards my car.

"All right." I let him chase me away from Sae's. I climb into the Audi and Peeta waves as I drive away.

A few minutes later I pull into my driveway. I decide if I have a couple of hours to myself, I'd like to spend them taking a bath and then a nap. Then, I'll get up and make dinner.

There's a brown paper package laying against the front door. I pick it up and step inside. It's from Gale. The contents are always the same. Sweets for Rue, a letter for me, and a check for child support. I put the check into my purse – ill deposit it into Rue's account on Monday – and stash her sweets in the cupboard. I don't read the letter this time. I'm much too tired.

I draw a warm bath and add half a cup of Epsom salt to the water. I set my phone and a bottle of water beside the tub before peeling off my clothes, I sweat ridiculously now, and putting up my hair. Then I climb into the bath.

I only soak for a few minutes, but I try not to let my mind wander too far. After ten minutes or so of unsuccessfully trying not to think of all the things I could do if I just had the energy, I drain the tub. I turn on the shower and wash away the salt water with castile soap.

I dress then head to bed and lay down on my back, propping my head up with pillows. It's only a few minutes before I fall asleep.

_I can't find Peeta._

_I look down at my feet. I'm standing on something round and metal. My chest heaves and I struggle to catch my breath as I hear and see the water surrounding me. It laps up over my feet and I look up. The water spreads out in every direction._

_This is no place for me._

I wake with a start, still unable to decipher my nightmares. The dreams are so real. I feel lost and alone. I roll over onto my side. I hear voices downstairs. Knowing Peeta's here and safe, I feel my breath even out. I wonder how long he and the girls have been here. I throw my robe on over my pajamas and make my way downstairs. Peeta, DJ, and Rue are sharing a meal of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and corn on the cob. I have to admit, it smells amazing.

"Hey professor," Peeta says when I reach the bottom of the steps. "How was your nap?

"Fine," I say as I look around. No one is in the clothes they wore to Sae's. "When did y'all get home?"

"A couple of hours ago," DJ says.

"You were sleeping," Rue adds.

"I sure was. These two wear me out," I say rubbing my belly. "And so do the three of you."

"Ha ha," Peeta says as he passes me a plate. "Eat something."

I look at the food on the table. "We're eating too much take-out. I really should cook something." I reach for a piece of chicken anyway.

"After that 4 hour-hour coma you just took, woman? Rest up. We can handle a little extra sodium for a few months."

I roll my eyes. "Once the fatigue passes, I'll make some casseroles or something. Maybe we should buy a slow cooker for the new house?"

"We can." Peeta says. "But don't you feel bad about needing some extra rest, all right?"

I make a face and then bite into the chicken.

"Besides, once we settle into the house, I can cook too," Peeta finishes. It's a nice sentiment though realistically, when will he have the time?

Rue reaches for another piece of chicken and Peeta smiles. "I'll get the dishes, mommy," Rue says.

"I can help," DJ adds. "It'll be quicker."

"Thanks. Do you want to watch 'Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs?'"

"What's it about?"

"Um… A scientist makes food fall from the sky." DJ furrows her brow. "It's funny."

"All right, we can try it."

Rue smiles. "Mommy, can we name the babies Andy and Brocko?"

"No Monster High names, baby." Christ, I can't wait until the fad dies already.

A few minutes later, I lay on the couch with my feet outstretched in Peeta's lap. DJ and Rue sit on the floor in front of us and we watch the movie.

"Heh. Monkey thought translator," Peeta chuckles. It's his first time seeing this movie too. Seems we're all enjoying it. Peeta leans over and pulls my attention from the screen. "Benjamin & Brandon?" he asks, pulling me from my existential conversation with myself about the likelihood of a spaghetti tornado. I sincerely hope my child understands just how far out there this movie is.

"No! What's with all the alliteration? Their names don't have to start with the same letter," I reply.

"What do you suggest then?"

"I don't know… maybe Robbie and Sam? No…I think they should have more _unusual_ names than that."

"'Bob Mellark' sounds like a 50 year old man." Peeta complains.

"Lord willing that's what he'll be one day."

Peeta tries to hide his smile as he turns back to the movie. Its not long before the credits roll.

"All right, girls. Go get ready for bed. DJ you can stay up til 10 if you want to," Peeta says. He turns off the TV.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna read a little." DJ says standing up. Not a bad idea.

"Can you tuck me in, mommy?"

The idea of peeling myself off the couch is daunting. But before I even have a chance to groan to myself, Peeta speaks.

"Can I tuck you in?" Peeta asks Rue.

"All right. Good night mommy." Rue kisses my check before bounding up the stairs.

"Good night, mamakat," DJ says with a hug and a pat on my belly. She follows Rue up the stairs.

"I hope that's all right," Peeta says. "You just seem like you could use some more rest."

"It's all right with her, so… Thank you, baker."

"You're welcome. Relax. I'll be back in a few minutes." He disappears up the stairs.

I shut my eyes and focus on the feeling of the babies moving inside of me. I wonder if they're aware of each other. Sometimes, I swear they're fighting. A few minutes later, I feel Peeta's hands on me.

"Oh god," I moan.

"You like that?" Peeta asks.

I open my eyes and focus on his fingers. "It feels so good."

"Good," Peeta says with a smile. I feel his fingers flex again.

"Mmmmm," I encourage. I drop my head back. "How are you doing that?"

"I know your body by heart."

"You sure do, baker," I smile at him. I watch his finger trace along the arch of my right foot. "Best foot rub ever."

"Really? The best?"

"Mmhmm."

He smiles at me. He leans forward and tugs the coffee table closer with his foot and stretches his legs out. "Should we put another movie on?"

"No, I'd like to read."

"All right."

We pull out reading material from the cushions of the couch. Peeta squeezes my foot with his right hand then turns the page of his book. After a chapter or two, his hand doesn't return.

"Don't stop."

"What?"

"You stopped rubbing my feet," I complain.

"Oh…It's this book, Katniss. _What the hell?_"

"Messed up, right?" I say picking up my foot and encouraging him to continue. "Come on, Peeta."

He raises an eyebrow at me. "What's in it for me?"

"There has to be something 'in it' for you?"

"No, but hearing the sounds you're making…" He squeezes my foot and I moan for him. "Like that. I thought maybe you'd want to show your appreciation for me."

It's a good thing I'm horny all the time, because the bigger I get, the more Peeta seems to want to fuck me. We already did it once in the shower this morning, then I sucked him off sometime this afternoon.

"What'd you have in mind?" I ask as I tuck my journal article back into the couch cushion.

"Well, Mrs. Mellark. The girls have been upstairs for nearly two hours. By now, they're both sound asleep"

"So?"

"So, I don't believe I've had the pleasure of fucking you on this couch." His hands slide from my feet and up my legs. He squeezes my calves before moving higher. "And since it's going to Goodwill on Saturday, I don't see when I'll have another opportunity."

"We have an entire house to christen," I tell him.

"I know. I plan to take you on every free surface of our new home," he replies. His hand slide into my shorts and he rubs me through my underwear. "But what should we do until then?"

"I see your point." I reach for his free hand, interlacing my fingers with his and I pull. Peeta lets me bring him closer, and settles between my legs, I prop my right foot on the coffee table. He rubs me harder and I whimper. "I suppose we should make the most of this, while it's here."

"Yes, we should," he agrees. He hovers over me, careful not to put any weight on me. He lowers his head and captures my lips.

"Mmmm," I sigh.

His tongue swipes only once between my lips before I open for him. I lift my head up, deepening our kiss while my hands move down his back. His muscles are hard, flexed with the effort of keeping off of me. His fingers move in circles against me and even through the cotton barrier of my underwear, he's making me wet. When my desire finally soaks the garment, Peeta pushes it aside and drags his fingers along my slit. He pulls his lips from mine, but I can still feel his breath on my skin.

"Fuck, Peeta," I complain as he teases me. His fingertips trace the outside of my opening. But he doesn't press into me. He doesn't touch my clit. Can't he feel how wet I am. My shirt's ridden up, exposing my belly to him. I open my eyes and follow his gaze. He's staring.

"What's wrong?"

"I can see them," he says quietly.

I look down and take note of the dance that's going on, clearly visible. My belly twitches, and you can almost see two distinct sets of rolling and kicking motions.

"Are they active right now because we're…?"

I roll my eyes. "They're active right now because they're hyper little boys who are already a handful."

Peeta smiles. "So it's all right if we…"

"Of course, Peeta. In fact if we don't, they won't be the only ones throwing a tantrum."

"Good. Because watching that is turning me on. …Is that weird?" He slides a finger into me and my breath hitches.

"Probably. But you seem to find everything about this pregnancy sexy."

"Yeah," he says. " I do." His eyes roam over my body. He removes his fingers. "Take these off," he says as he tugs once on my waistband. He pushes his own pants down only to his knees. I kick off my shorts and panties and toss them onto the coffee table. Peeta's hands find my hips and I spread my legs for him. He looks down at me hungrily and his tongue darts out and wets his lips.

"Peeta," I breathe. He shakes his head, pulling himself from the trance he was just in.

He grabs ahold of himself and guides his hard hot flesh to my entrance. I'm wet, and he's quickly covered with my juices. His eyes flutter shut as he presses into me. His hands are on either side of me as he holds his body high above mine. His head drops down. His eyes drift from where we are joined, to my belly, then back again.

"Lift up your shirt," he says with another thrust. I oblige. And I watch him take in the sight of me, writhing under him, swollen with his children. The look of adoration on his face is unlike any I've ever seen.

"You're so sexy," he says as he fills me again.

I moan in response. I'm glad he thinks so. I look down at my body, easily 20 or 25 pounds over my normal weight and I just can't agree. But I won't argue with him either. He's so turned on. My breath deepens and quickens as I watch him fuck me.

His brow knits together and I can tell he's getting closer. His thrusts grow wilder, and more erratic. He's holding back, but I nod at him, giving him permission to finish. I want him to use me to bring himself that high. I feel him pulse inside of me as he bares his teeth. He doesn't shut his eyes. He brings a hand to my middle and keeps them open as he rides out his release.

Peeta pulls out of me, sitting back on his haunches and running his hands through his hair. His chest is still heaving and his eyes are closed. His shirt falls down on its own, mostly covering his chest, but leaving most of his abdomen exposed. His mouth is open and even though he just made love to me, I can't help but stare at him with desire. I'm getting hot for him again just looking at him in the afterglow of our love-making.

"You didn't finish."

"It's fine."

"Do you want me to-"

Yes. But he's tired. "No. That was good."

He huffs out a somewhat disappointed breath as he pushes up to his knees and pulls his shorts up over is hips. He fixes his shirt before he opens his eyes. I'm staring.

"What?"

"You're a gorgeous man."

"Thank you." He smiles. "I'm glad you think so cus you're gonna be looking at me for the next 50 years."

"You think we'll still be doing this when you're 80?"

"I don't see why not. I love you, woman. I'll keep showing you as long as I'm able."

"How romantic," I laugh. "Geriatric sex." I grimace.

"You won't think it's gross then. I'll still get you hot for me."

I smile. If anyone can it's him.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

X

"It's been an absolute nightmare!" Annie complains.

She forces down a cracker then gives Finn an annoyed look. He's been on her about her eating habits. I imagine it's annoying as hell, but I know it's necessary. I sit next to Peeta on a couch in the Odair's living room. I sip the chamomile tea Annie has graciously served us. The tea is in a tea bag, and I know Peeta doesn't want me drinking it.

"It all fell though at the last minute," Annie continues. "I'm 28 weeks pregnant. I'm ready to move already!"

"I know, baby," Finn comforts. He puts a hand over hers. "We'll find something."

"How did you two manage to find a house so quickly?" Annie asks.

"Peeta dragged us all over creation," I say, nudging him with my elbow.

"We were motivated buyers," he adds. "We've been married over a month and we're still not living together." I nod. All four of us are ready to be under one roof already. The back and forth between the house and the apartment is tiring.

"You'd think it'd be easier to find a place to rent," Finn comments.

"Finny?" Mrs. Odair calls from the top of the stairs. Annie immediately tenses.

"Yeah, mom?"

"Have your friends gone for the evening yet? It's getting late!"

"Not yet, mom!" Finn yells, not hiding the annoyance in his voice.

Mrs. Odair grumbles something as she walks away.

"I guess it is late," Peeta says. I lean forward and put down my tea.

"It's only 8:00! You've been here half an hour!" Annie says. She turns to Finn "I can't take much more of this."

"It's fine," I say. "We should get back anyway. Make sure the girls are alright." DJ, now 13, has gained a new responsibility: babysitting her little sister. Tonight is the first time. We didn't intend to leave them for more than an hour or so anyway. We left them with a pizza…hopefully there won't be much time for them to do anything other than eat and watch a little TV. Peeta stands and helps me up. Finn sits there, looking defeated… and staring at my cleavage. I wonder if he and Annie are having sex yet. If not, their living arrangement will only make a tense situation worse.

"We'll see you soon?" Peeta asks.

"We'll have you over to the new house, once we settle in?" I suggest.

"Sure," Annie says.

They see us to the door, and the tension rises. Peeta and I know there's going to be a fight once we get out of there. He opens the car door and I climb into the Land Rover. We wave to our friends as we pull out of the driveway. A block or so later, Peeta speaks.

"So, that was…"

"Awkward? Embarrassing? Uncomfortable? Terrible?"

Peeta nods. "Yes, ma'am…what do you think about maybe renting out your place to them?"

"What?"

"Give them six months, maybe a year to find their footing. We can put the house on the market next year."

"Why not rent them the bakery apartment?"

"It's a professionally zoned building. Legally the owner has to occupy the apartment. I can't rent it out."

"Oh. Well, can you change the zoning?"

"I could apply for a variance."

"Great!"

"It'll cost about 25 thousand dollars and take months to finish."

"Oh."

"I'd rent it to them. But, I'm not comfortable doing anything illegal when comes to the bakery."

"Except keeping moonshine in the basement?"

"I have an ATF permit, you trouble maker. I can store up to 200 gallons on site."

I smirk at him "I understand." Peeta's parents left him the bakery because they knew he'd be responsible. I wouldn't expect any less from him either. And we _do_ have my house. And it's _not_ on the market yet. "I don't know. It's kind of a big house for them."

"You, Rue, and Gale seemed comfortable."

"Well, we weren't. And I think you know it's not the same situation."

"I was just thinking," he relents.

I sigh. "Peeta, I kind of want that house out of my life…but, let me think about it, alright?"

"Sure."

X

"Mommy, I can't lift this box!" Rue complains.

She's in the living room, packing up her desk. I turn around, grazing the kitchen counter with my bump. I've gotten so much bigger. "Take some of those books out and I'll help you!"

"It's fine. I'll get it," Peeta says as he comes down the stairs carrying a big box. "Let me just put this out in the pod first, all right?"

"Sure," I nod. I'm in no position to argue. I'm so tired. I lazily finish packing up the silverware and plastic kitchen stuff. I tape up the box, confident that I won't need anything in it for a while. I lift it and make my way to the door, running into Peeta in the doorway.

"I told you to stop carrying things," he complains.

"It's light! Peeta, I can't just sit around doing nothing."

"You're not doing _nothing_." His eyes drift down. "How about Gavin and Michael?"

I shake my head. "I'll take a break if I feel tired, all right? I'm just going to put this box outside." I step around him.

"You're too stubborn for your own good."

I roll my eyes as the door shuts behind me.

It's a beautiful spring day, and I take a deep breath as I walk over to the pod. This thing is a giant eyesore, and takes up my entire driveway. The Audi and Land Rover are parked on the street in front of the house. I shake my head at myself. Peeta was right about getting new vehicles. Since I started driving the Audi, I've actually been able to drive. The motion doesn't trigger my morning sickness anymore. Though, to be honest, not a lot does anymore. Things seem to be much better with the second trimester. I just need to kick this fatigue.

I step into the pod and look around at the various boxes we've already packed in here. My favorite chair is in here too. I flop down onto it, though it's wrapped with plastic and set the box of kitchen supplies down next to me. I lean my head back and take a deep breath. Peeta's right. I need a break already.

"Catnip?"

What the fuck?

My eyes fly open and I knock over the box next to me. It falls to the floor and a mess of Tupperware, lemon zesters, potato peelers, and silverware hits the floor.

"Shit," I grumble as I drop to the floor. I kneel as I begin to pick things up and set them back into the box.

"Are you in here, love?"

I still my movements. So I didn't imagine his voice. I look up and my breath quickens as I watch Gale step into the pod. His grey eyes lock onto mine and he smiles softly at me. I don't return it. I'm too busy trying to figure out what he's doing here. The last time I saw him was that morning at the cafe, when he found out Peeta and I were expecting and intended to marry.

"You're here?"

"Arrived this morning," he says as he kneels in front of me. He helps me clean up the mess. "Not like you to be klutzy."

I smile to myself. His accent is thicker than the day I met him.

"Things change."

"They certainly do."

"What are you doing here?" I reach for a metal ladle in front of me at the same time Gale does. Our fingers touch, and I pull away. I look up to meet his eyes.

"Have to pack up my flat."

"Oh... Officially moving to London?"

He shakes his head. "D.C.," he replies and I furrow my brow at him. "Did you not receive my last letter?"

"I did but…I didn't read it," I admit.

"Right… well I'd have phoned but it seemed too much madness to explain in one call. So, I wrote."

"Oh." Yeah, I feel like an asshole.

"Seems you're moving too?" He gestures around the pod were kneeling in.

"Yeah. We bought a bigger house."

"This one not big enough for you?"

I don't answer. I drop his gaze and pick up the last Tupperware top and put it into the box. I look around for the packing tape. It's on the floor, right next to me. I don't even have to stretch to reach it. I turn back to the box and Gale takes the tape dispenser from my hands.

"Let me."

His eyes bore into mine.

"All right," I say quietly.

He drags the tape across the top of the box.

"You look beautiful, love."

I look away. "Thank you." My fingertips hit the heel of my hand once, before I catch myself. Gale notices too.

"Professor, you'd better be resting out here," Peeta says as he swings his upper body into view. When I see him, I stand up. Gale's eyes drift to my middle and his face falls.

"Gale?" Peeta asks.

"You're showing," Gale says so quietly, I almost didn't hear him.

"Nearly 22 weeks," I say as I bring a hand to my belly.

Gale doesn't respond. His eyes are glued to my middle. His stare becomes uncomfortable and I look to Peeta for help. Peeta's eyes dart between me and Gale.

"Let's get you off your feet," Peeta suggests holding a hand out to me. I walk over to him and press my head against his chest with a sigh of relief. "I'll nuke some cheese buns for you before I pack up the microwave."

"Thank you, baker."

"Gale. Care to join us for a snack?"

"Well..."

"Then we can decide what to do about your things in the basement."

I don't miss the authority in Peeta's voice. And neither does Gale. He stands to his full height.

"Let's go, Mellark."

I sit on the soon-to-be-donated couch and watch them move around the house. Peeta's in the kitchen, and Gale moves into the living room. He sits on the couch, as far away from me as possible and grimaces as something juts into his back.

"Ugh! You still do this?" he asks as he tosses the book Peeta's reading onto the coffee table.

"Yeah," I smile.

"I like it," Peeta calls from the kitchen. He sets a plate of cheese buns into the microwave.

"Of course you do," Gale rolls his eyes. There's a hint of sarcasm in his voice. I'm not sure what to make of it. His eyes drift over to me. "Where's Rue?"

"Upstairs with DJ. They're packing." Peeta brings the plate of warmed cheese buns and sets it down onto the coffee table. "How was your flight?" he asks Gale as he moves over to sit on the arm the couch, beside me.

"Long, but good. Where are you moving to?"

"Staying local. We need a bigger place," Peeta answers. Gale nods.

"You're moving up to D.C.?" I ask.

"Yes. I've accepted an offer with the World Bank."

"The World Bank? Why?"

"Someone pointed out that I can't be a there for my daughter if I'm halfway around the world." He nods once at Peeta. Something passes between them. I look from Gale to Peeta, confused. "There will be quite a lot of travel but I think it's a better fit. I'll be two hours away from here. So... perhaps we can work out a visitation schedule with Rue?"

"Of course," I say. She needs her father around. I'm relieved he won't be out of the country.

"Thanks. So... When are you... getting married?"

"Well, legally we already are." Gale nods. He does his best to hide his disappointment. But I see it. "Maybe a ceremony next year," I finish.

"Right. Well... I'm knackered. I ought to collect my bits n bobs and go." He stands.

"You don't have to rush off," Peeta says.

"You should at least say hi to Rue," I tell him.

"No... Maybe you could tell her I'm in town, and if she wants to see me then she could-"

"Daddy?" Rue asks. She drops the box in her hands and a bunch of toys spill across the floor. "Oh my god! I can't believe you're here!" she runs to him and he picks her up. "Mommy said you were visiting Grandma Hazelle until summer."

I'm grateful Gale came back before I had to go back on that white lie I told Rue.

"Yes, I was. But I'm here now," he says. "Did you get the chocolate bars I sent for you?"

"Uh-huh. I liked the flake bars and the hippos the best."

"Oooh, yeah. Those are my favorites. Good choices, honey."

Rue smiles at him. "I have soooo much to tell you," she wiggles and he's forced to put her down. She grabs his hand and pulls him towards the steps. Gale spares me a glance as Rue leads him upstairs.

Peeta grabs my hand and smiles at me.

"Told you he'd come around."


	17. Hide Every Lock

**Hello everyone.**

**Lot's of conflicting feedback regarding the VA accent. Keep your thoughts coming (I may not agree, but it's good to know how you're receiving it).**

**This chapter is transitional, as the Mellarks begin to settle into their lives together. But it's important for settling things that need settling before the twins arrive.**

**Lauralulubee hooked me up again with her awesome beta skills. She's gonna post the finale of her fic Until The Sun Falls soon, so look out for it. Also, I updated Rerun over on AO3, so if you were waiting on that story to continue, head on over and read the latest chapter. Aaannnnd I just updated Unangan too. Woohoo!**

**So what I'd like from you, my lovely readers, are name suggestions. C'mon, help me name these toast babies. We've got two mini Peetas on the way! They need names! There are 350 of you subscribed now, and I'll bet each and every one of you has an opinion. Looking forward to your suggestions.**

* * *

_"Break out and then hide every lock."_

I'm nesting. I roll my brush into the baby blue paint and bring it to the wall. My arm is tired, and I notice that my tan is fading. I look down at my sore wrist and rotate it a bit. I smile at the thought of relaxing on the beach next to Peeta, the sand on my toes and his hand in mine. The Disney Cruise was a fantastic idea.

"What are you doing?" Peeta says. I roll my eyes. I don't even need to look at him. His tone says it all.

"What's it look like, baker?"

He rushes into the room and takes the paintbrush from my hands. "You shouldn't be doing this."

"It's low VOC paint."

"You'll over exert yourself."

"Are you kidding me? Peeta I'm not teaching any classes til January. I basically have the life of a house cat right now!" I lower my voice." If you don't let me fix up this room, I'll go insane."

"You're stubborn as mule." Peeta sighs. "Let me help."

"No! Get out!"

I'm not in total control of my emotions anymore. Thankfully, Peeta's been patient with me. He purses his lips and lowers his voice. "Come on, Professor." He gestures around the room. "What can I do?"

I roll my eyes. "There's a set of bookcases from Ikea I just painted blue. They're outside, should be dry. You mind bringing them up?"

"How were you gonna get them up here without me?"

I don't answer. I simply stare at him. A smile spreads across his face and he laughs at me. "All right, woman, I'll go get them."

He hands me the paintbrush and I resume my task. I'm nearly done with this wall. Fixing up the boys' room is the only thing keeping my mind together right now. The urge to nest for them is strong. I try to remember if went through this with Rue. I vaguely remember knitting dozens of pink sweaters, even though I can't knit to save my life. And here I am painting, though I'm hardly an interior designer. I guess it's the same instinct at work.

A few minutes later, Peeta appears. He's set one of the bookcases down just outside the door.

"Help me out here, professor. You've got mattresses but no cribs, and bookcases but no books?"

"There are plenty of books downstairs," I say as I gesture where I want him to put the bookcase. "Set that down on its side, please."

"I got a please this time?"

"Yeah," I say sheepishly.

He smiles at me. "So why don't we have cribs?"

"Because they're a waste of space and money. We have bassinets and a pack n play for when we want to keep them corralled. I'm not making a nursery. I'm making a toddler room."

"A toddler room?"

"Yeah. They're toddlers for longer. See look, I'm putting everything low to the ground so they can move stuff around themselves. It's like a Montessori room."

"What if they fall off their mattress?"

"Well, the mattresses will be on the floor, so they can't fall far. Plus, I got mesh guard rails."

"All right, professor. I'll leave you to it then." He leans down and kisses the top of my head.

I finish painting the wall and stand back, looking around at my work. The walls are painted and since I move so slowly, two of them are even dry. So I hang a full-length mirror horizontally just above where each mattress will rest. Sifting through the box of wooden toys and decorations, and looking around the room, I smile. There's two of everything. I wonder if Jason and Owen will like their room. I wonder if Peeta will like the names Jason and Owen. I sigh to myself. I should probably go apologize to Peeta. Damn it.

I step out of the toddler room, and pass by Rue's room. She and DJ are unpacking her things.

"You good in here girls?"

"Yes, mommy," Rue says.

"Yeah, mamakat. Just setting up the playstation in here for Rue."

"We'll I'm getting hungry. Anyone want to go to ihop with me?"

"Yeah!" They say in unison.

"Half hour, all right?" I smile at them as I walk away.

I look for Peeta. He's not in our bedroom. He's not in his studio. I peer outside and see if he's taking another pass at installing the rubber ground in the backyard, but he's not out there. We're not done soundproofing the movie room in the attic, and I don't hear his heavy footsteps, so I venture downstairs. He's not in the living room or the kitchen. This house is too god damn big.

Maybe he's sealing the windows downstairs. I'm about to check the basement when I hear him clear his throat. Oh. He's in the downstairs office.

The door is ajar. I push it open and lean against the doorway. He's sitting at the desk, turned away from me.

"Baker?"

"If you're going to play the family card, you should actually act like family." His chair spins and I see the phone pressed to his ear. I furrow my brow at him.

"What's wrong, Professor?" I shake my head. "Hold on." He mutes the phone and places it on the desk. He holds his arms out for me. "Come here." I walk over to him and he pulls me to sit in his lap. "What is it?"

"I want to apologize for before. I didn't mean to be short with you."

"It's alright. "He smiles. "That's all?"

"No," I shake my head again. "I also kinda I missed you. I've been looking for you."

He chuckles. "Well, you found me. What are you gonna do with me?"

I lean forward and press my lips to his. I feel him smile against me before he inhales, breathing me in, and deepens our kiss.

"Mmm, baker," I sigh.

He pulls me closer, but we're separated by my 26-week belly. His hands move to my breasts and he squeezes while I moan.

"I want you," I tell him.

He kisses me again. "You have me."

His phone lights up and it catches my eye. I pull away. "Who are you talking to?"

His hands leave my body and he pushes his hair out of his face. "My brother."

I raise my eyebrows at him. "Your brother?"

"Yeah... Phil." He reaches for the phone with one hand and brings the other to rub my belly. He brings the phone to his ear. "Yeah, I'm here."

His eyes drift over my body as he speaks.

"That's not what I'm saying. But this is the first I'm hearing from you since... No, I don't have to... I don't owe him anything...No..." He sighs. "This is the sort of thing I'd have to discuss with my wife... Well, I did. And we've got two children on the way, not to mention my stepdaughter and DJ, who you never call. So you see I have my own responsibilities... I'll tell you what. You get yourself on a plane, and we can have this discussion face to face like men." He pulls the phone from his ear and ends the call. He deposits the phone back onto the desk.

"What was that about?"

Peeta's eyes drift up to mine. "Phil and Rye are living together in New Orleans."

"Oh? Rye's not out in California anymore?"

"Apparently not. They want to buy a 2-bedroom apartment in the French Quarter."

"Good for them," I say.

"Yeah, until one of them gets married. Or they can't stand each other anymore." I give Peeta a confused look. "Phil just called asking me for the money for the down payment."

"Oh... Well, we're helping out Annie and Finn. Look how grateful they are to rent out the old house. Do you want to help your brothers out?"

"Not the way they want to be helped. Annie and Finn don't want a handout. They pay their rent and they're a respectable family. Phil and Rye want me to straight up give them money. I don't want to fork over a large sum of cash that I'll never see again, and won't even be sure it's going towards the apartment. Plus they're a couple of bachelors making moonshine without an ATF permit."

"Well... How about putting it in your name then?"

"Then it's just one more thing to manage. I already take care of this house, the old house, and the bakery. I'd be willing to take it on, but honestly I ain't heard two words from either of them since mom and dad's accident. That's over 5 years."

"So he just called you up out of the blue today to ask for money?"

"Basically. They don't know what's going on in my life. How many mouths I have to feed. They didn't even know I'm married." He shakes his head. He smiles, though he's clearly more upset than he's letting on.

I rub my hands over his shoulders then across his chest.

"Baker," I begin. "Relax." I trail kisses across his jaw and feel his muscles loosen under my touch. "None of that matters right now, all right?" I press my fingertips against his stomach. "I can ease that tension for you," I whisper into his ear.

"How's that?"

I slide off his lap and lower myself to my knees. Peeta's eyes darken and he smirks slightly, knowing what's coming. I settle between his legs and I rub him over his pants.

"Like this," I purr. I lick my lips slowly for him. "I want to taste you." His index finger is suddenly between my lips. I swirl my tongue around it, while I grab his wrist.

"I love your mouth."

I raise an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? Show me."

He leans forward and his open mouth seeks mine out. His lips move against mine, while his tongue slides between. His hands thread through my hair, holding me in place. He sucks on my bottom lip, while my hands find his waistband. I unzip his jeans and slide my hand inside, gripping his hardening flesh. His left hand leaves my hair and moves down to cup my breast.

"Mommy?"

Peeta and I pull away from each other. I sit back on the floor, landing on my ass while Peeta stands up turns away from the door, leaning with his palms flat on the desk. I hear him zip up his jeans and curse under his breath.

"Yeah, baby?"

DJ appears in the doorway behind her. "Oh...sorry," she says. "I didn't think we had to knock, cus y'all ain't in the bedroom."

"It's fine sweetie, just give us a minute," I say.

"But you said half an hour!" Rue complains.

"Come on. We'll get our shoes on," DJ says.

"Shut the door behind you," Peeta says quietly. I try to hide a grin. The door clicks and Peeta pushes himself away from the desk. "We need a bigger house."

"What? This house is plenty big. It took me ten minutes just to find you here. What we need is to remember to lock the door." He gives me a look. Clearly that was my responsibility this time. "Sorry, baker. Pregnancy brain?"

He smiles at me. "It's fine. You'll make it up to me later."

"Oh will I?"

His gaze drops back down to my mouth. "I fucking hope so."

I smile at him. "Come on. I promised the girls some pancakes."

X

I sit next to Rue in the booth. I'm on the outside, since I'll probably have to run to the bathroom a few times. Peeta sits across from me, also on the outside, in case I need him.

"How about Matthew and Andrew?" DJ says. "We can call them Matty and Drew for short."

"Maybe," I say. "I kind of like Matty."

"What do you think, daddy?"

I'm halfway through my Belgian waffle and eggs when I notice Peeta pushing his food around on his plate.

"Baker?"

"Huh?"

"You all right?"

"Yeah. I'm good." He sets his fork down. "Just not very hungry."

This piques my interest. Peeta still eats like a teenaged boy. The last time he refused a meal was the day before we found out were having boys. He was nervous and all around stressed out.

"Daddy can I go to the movies on Thursday night?"

"Huh?"

" I don't help out at the bakery til Saturday. And schools out, so it's not like I have to get up early on Friday."

"Sure," Peeta says.

I hold up my finger. Peeta's clearly not paying attention. "Who's going?"

"Cecilia... And her friend Ben... and Woof..." she nearly whispers.

"Kyle?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Is this a date?" I look to Peeta for support. But, I'm on my own this time.

"Well... I don't... I'm not..." DJ stutters through an explanation.

"What adult is chaperoning?"

"Chaperoning?"

"No chaperone? The answer is no."

DJ looks between me and Peeta. Usually he's the heavy.

"Well, why not?" she asks.

"You're too young to be double dating without supervision."

DJ slinks back in her seat. "It's not like I'm having sex," she grumbles.

"Sex!?" Peeta says shaking his head, catching just enough of her statement to pull him from his funk. "You're having sex?" I roll my eyes at him.

"Baker!" I shake my head. "No!" He relaxes.

"So what if I was?" DJ says defiantly.

"What?" Peet says as he stares at her.

"DJ," I scold. She's egging her father on.

"Mommy, what's sex?"

"It's what they do in their bedroom when they're making all that noise," DJ says.

"Delilah!" How did I lose control of this situation so quickly? And I make a mental note to move soundproofing the house to the top of our to do list.

DJ seems startled by my voice, but she takes a deep breath and turns on Peeta anyway. "You were having sex when you were my age," she says to Peeta. His mouth hangs open.

Why the hell did he tell her that? Seems he took my you-should-tell-DJ-the-truth-about-sex suggestion a little too literally.

"Well I wasn't," I interject. "And I'd have to be dumber than a bag of hammers to let you and Kyle out alone together. What kind of mother do you think I am?"

I give her a look, but her face softens and she can't help the smile that spreads across her lips.

"Mother?" she repeats.

I raise my eyebrows at her.

"You're right, mamakat. It wouldn't be... appropriate." I narrow my eyes at her. Where's she going with this? "Would you chaperone?"

"Sweetie, I can't sit for more than 20 minutes at a time. I can't make it through a whole movie."

"Please, mama," she says sweetly. She's got every bit as much charm as her father... Who seems to have retreated back into his bubble.

"I'll think about it."

X

"What's going on with you?"

"Hmm?"

"You've been quiet all night."

"You usually complain that I'm too loud."

"Not your voice. You're voice is perfect. I miss it."

Peeta runs a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry."

I sit down next to him on our bed and rub my fingers across my belly. "Is it...too much?"

"What?"

"I'm just thinking about all you're taking on."

"I can handle it."

"I didn't say you couldn't. I'm just acknowledging how much has changed for you in the past few months."

"No more than has changed for you," he counters.

"Yeah, and I'm freaking the hell out!" Peeta looks up at me, surprised by my outburst. And frankly so am I. I lower my voice. "You're shutting down on me right now and that's not helping."

"I don't mean to."

"I know. So knock it off." Finally Peeta smiles. "That's better. Talk to me." I take his hand in mine.

He sighs. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way."

"Of course I will. Tell me anyway."

"All right...I have never been under this much stress before."

"Oh."

"No! See, that came out wrong already. You're not stressful. Our children are not stressful... Well, actually maybe they are, but I love them all and I wouldn't change anything. Well... that's not true either. If I could I'd change-"

"Peeta!" he looks at me again. "You're rambling."

He drops his head back with a heavy sigh and tries again. "Last year, I had one child, no spouse, no debt."

"We could've outright paid for this house if you'd sold the old one. We still can."

"Katniss, please. Let me finish." I have to actually bite my bottom lip to keep from speaking over him again. "It's just different, a huge change in responsibility. 1 child to 4, no spouse to taking care of the love of my life," he says. I smile. "No debt to necessary responsibilities, all of which I can handle. And all through this massive change, where the hell were my brothers? Out fucking around in New Orleans, still blaming me for life choices they made over a decade ago. Still thinking I owe them something."

Oh. I knew that was bothering him.

"Blaming you?"

"Yeah." He looks away.

"What do you want to do? Do you want to help them?"

"I want to help family. But right now, they ain't acting like kin."

"Do you maybe see an opportunity to set this right?"

"I don't know."

I nod my head. "Well… It's only been a short while, but I've watched you change. Hell, it's my fault things have changed."

"Katniss-"

"No, now you let me finish. Prim and her little family are a huge part of what kept me going when I needed it most. I would never begrudge you that same type of love and support. So whatever you decide about your brothers, just know I support you one hundred percent."

"Thank you, woman."

"I'm not finished." He chuckles. "Now, you have to keep that communication open with me. I'll support your intentions, but you need to let me know what they are."

Peeta nods his head. "You're right. I will...I think, if we are comfortably able, we should help family."

"All right."

"But I won't allow this family to be taken advantage of, exploited, or even ignored. So I don't suppose there's anything further to discuss unless they get themselves here to discuss it."

"Are you comfortable leaving it like that?"

"No," he answers honestly. His free hand moved to my belly. "But I'm the head of this household and other matters require my attention." His hand drifts from my belly up to my breast and his index finger circles my right nipple. "My full attention," he clarifies.

"Damn, baker. You sure you're not the one full of hormones?"

"I won't apologize for finding my sexy wife even sexier when she's pregnant."

"You sweet talkin' me now?"

"Don't I always?" his hand finds the nape of my neck and he pulls me close, claiming my lips in a passionate kiss.

His free hand slides under my tank and I feel him squeeze my breast. I moan for him. It feels so good. I swing my leg over him and move to straddle him. With my belly big as it is, there are only two positions in which he can fuck me comfortably. On top, or from behind. Right now, I want to kiss him. I want to look into his eyes as he fucks me. So me on top is looking pretty good.

Peeta doesn't think it's a bad idea either. As he tugs his Tshirt over his head, exposing his abdomen to me I can see the desire in his eyes. It only deepens as I lavish attention on his body with my hands and my lips. I kiss him, from his jaw down his shoulders and I explore his muscles with my fingertips. He moans for me and I gently nip at the skin on his neck.

"Shiiit," he hisses.

I grow wet at the sound. I'm in control right now, but Peeta's stronger than me. His hands make me feel safe and supported, as I push away from him. He helps me keep my balance as I remove my pajama shorts and underwear. I lean forward and tug on his mesh shorts. I smile as he lifts his hips for me.

I push him back onto the bed and climb on top of him. I lean forward and kiss his body again, going lower this time, my lips tracing the outline of his pectoral muscles. I drag the heat of my sex over his hard cock, and his hips buck up to meet mine.

"Mmm, feels good," I moan as I coat him with my desire. "I'm wet for you."

"I'm hard for you," he answers. His hands reach around and he grabs my ass. I continue to trail kisses across his chest. I begin to travel lower, but Peeta stops me.

"Come up here," he demands. "Kiss my lips."

I spare a glance at the door, making sure it's locked, before I slide up his body. I lower my lips to his and the sound of us kissing sends shivers down my spine.

"I love kissing you," I tell him.

"Yeah?" I nod. "Good."

He kisses me again, this time deeper. His tongue moves quickly around my mouth, flicking against mine and the tip grazes the roof of my mouth. I reach down, never tearing my lips from his, and I guide his hot throbbing cock to my entrance.

"Mmmm," I moan into his mouth as he fills me.

I move my hips against his, seeking the friction I need, using every inch of his body. He bends his knees, and thrusts up into me, holding onto my ass to keep grounded. I grind down against him, meeting his thrusts. It's uncomfortable to circle my hips, which I know he loves, so instead I spread my legs wider and sink down onto him harder.

"Fuck, Katniss."

Peeta approves. I repeat the motion over and over, my thighs quiver and I'm breathing heavy but I don't stop. I look down into Peeta's eyes, wide and filled with lust. He's working hard, and he's close. His tongue peeks out of the corner of his mouth. He's gorgeous.

So fucking gorgeous.

"Almost, Kat...are you close?"

"I'm close," I tell him. "I need you to cum."

"Tell me how much you want it."

"It feels so good when you cum, Peeta. I want it deep as you can give it to me." He thrusts into me again. "Yes! Like that!"

"Damn," he says. "I'm gonna give you what you want."

"Please," I beg. I'm close, so close. If he finishes right now, I'll cum hard.

"Are you ready?"

I nod my head. I'm hot. I'm ready. I just need him to- "Fuuuuck!"

Peeta pulls down hard on my hips as his body tenses. He pulses inside of me, and suddenly my walls are contracting around him. I shut my eyes, pressing my hands against his chest as I find my release. I cry out, my voice growing higher in pitch with every wave that washes over me.

I open my eyes to find Peeta watching me. I smile.

"What?" I pant.

"Nothing. I just love it when you cum hard like that."

"You made me feel good," I breathe. I shut my eyes and frown at my choice of words.

_"Let me make you feel good."_ Thom's voice creeps into my mind.

"Hey! No!" I feel Peeta's hands on the side of my face. I open my eyes. "Not real!" He looks down to where we are still joined and I follow his gaze, but I can't see us. All I see is belly.

"You feel that. You feel me, still inside of you?" He lifts his hips to emphasize his point. He's still hard. I inhale as the movement sends a jolt of pleasure through my body.

I nod my head. "Yeah."

"That's real, Katniss. That's what matters now, all right."

I nod my head again. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It will take time for us to heal each other." He pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses my fingertips. I smile at him. I love when he does that. "Let me hold you."

"All right," I answer. I lift up, and separate him from my body. I lay down next to him on my side. He pulls he sheet up over us and his fingers softly caress my belly.

"I love you," he tells me.

"I love you too," I say and the fatigue finally wins.

_I'm on a beach, listening to Peeta's words. I can't quite make them all out, but I know he's telling me he loves me. He's leans in and kisses me, and I feel warmth in my body. It spreads through my chest and out through my limbs._

_I want more._

X

I uncomfortably make my way into the living room and smile when Peeta looks up from his book.

"I didn't hear you come in," he greets me.

"Just got back. Smells good in here."

"I have a lasagna in the oven."

"Thank you for cooking." I pull my phone from my back pocket and set it down on the coffee table. I sit down next to Peeta.

"How was the movie?"

"I have no idea," I say as I sink into the couch. Peeta lifts his arms and allows me to put my feet in his lap. "I couldn't sit for very long. Had to keep getting up, but I couldn't go far cus I had to watch the kids."

"That little animal keep his hands to himself? Or am I gonna have to break them off?"

I smile. "He was quite the gentleman."

"So was I. I don't trust him."

"You're paranoid." I gesture to the book in his hands. "What are you reading?"

"Nothing of yours, thank you. After that last book, I can't trust your recommendations."

"Aw, c'mon is wasn't that bad."

"Yeah, it was."

He tucks his book into the couch beside him and his hands find my feet.

"That's good," I encourage as he rubs my feet just right.

My phone buzzes loudly on the wooden table, getting both our attentions. It's a new email. From Thom.

I tense and pull my feet away from Peeta, no longer wanting to be touched. Peeta watches me as I pull away from him, and curl up on myself. His eyes dart to my phone then back to me.

"Are we ever going to talk about this?"

So he does know. I don't answer. I retreat further, looking away from him. Peeta sighs heavily then leans forward, picking my phone off the table. I feel his gaze on me one more time before I hear him unlock my phone.

He's quiet for a minute and when I look up at him, his eyes are moving back and forth as he reads Thom's letter. He accidentally mouths a few of the words he's reading, a habit of his I normally find adorable. But as his mouth wraps around the words _wet_, _pussy_...and finally _love_, I feel my guilt and shame rise to the surface.

"Well," he finally says, rubbing the sides of his nose. "I didn't realize that would be so...graphic."

Thom's messages always are. Peeta sets the phone down and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Jesus Christ, Katniss. A public bathroom?"

Shit. I shut my eyes tight as if that will make the whole situation go away. It doesn't work. Suddenly I remember the loneliness, the neglect, the feeling of being unwanted by my husband that led to that night, to my being fucked against a door in a public bathroom by his assistant.

"Yeah. A public bathroom. I didn't exactly care where."

Peeta holds my gaze for a moment, trying to understand me. "Do you read these?" I don't answer. I read every single one. "No wonder you still hear his voice in your head." A moment passes before he speaks again. "Why don't you delete them?"

For the same reason I can't stand to be near Madge Undersee. Thom is another person affected by my infidelity. Another life thrown out of balance. His letters, professions of love, accurate descriptions of my body, detailed accounts of what he did to me, all serve as a reminder. I'm an adulterer.

"I'm not a good person," I say quietly.

"Yes you are." He picks my phone back up and his fingers move deftly across the screen of my phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Blocking him."

"Don't."

"Why not?"

I open my mouth to tell him I deserve the pain. But when I look into his eyes, I see the concern and jealously of a man whose woman just received a sexual advance from another man. A man whose wife another man is still in love with. Likely two men to be honest, but this situation, he has some control over. There's a crease in his brow. If this message was half as tame as the others, then Peeta now knows everything I let Thom do to me that night.

"What you must think of me," I say, though I didn't mean to say it out loud.

Peeta leans in to me and I feel his hand on my face. I tense initially, but then lean into his touch.

"What I think is that you're still punishing yourself. This," he hands me my phone, "has to stop. It's not fair to you, or anyone involved."

"I'm sorry."

Peeta sighs again. "Katniss. We have the same type of baggage."

"We do?"

"Yeah. How do you think I felt when women were offering to leave their husbands for me after one time together?"

"That's true?" I ask.

"See? Even my wife has heard the rumors about me."

I cock my head to the side. "But that's not who you are anymore."

"No, not anymore. With you, I'm a better man."

I nod in understanding. Peeta absolutely brings out the best in me. "Why are you so good to me?"

He shrugs, and his thumb gently strokes my cheek. "I guess I just understand you."

"You do, don't you?" He smiles. "Thank you, baker." I bring my hand up to cup his jaw. "I love you."

X

It's a hot summer day. I lay on my side on a chaise lounge in the backyard, taking refuge in the shade of the retractable awning. I thought the thing was excessive, but like most things I resisted while we readied the house, I make good use of it. I lean forward and reach for my sweet tea. Peeta only allows me to drink two glasses a day. This is my third.

DJ is playing with Rue and Posy on the playground. Peeta only just finished building it. He's still nursing a broken finger from the whole ordeal. I watch the girls running with water guns, spraying each other with cool water.

"That must be refreshing," I comment.

Prim looks up from her journal. "Ugh, no way."

"It's so hot out here."

"No it's not. You're just pregnant."

I roll my eyes at her and turn my attention back to my article. I hear the patio door slide open and look up as Peeta smiles at me. He's wearing a white wife beater and jeans, with his tool belt low on his hips. I watch his stomach muscles contract as he pulls the door shut behind him. Fuck.

"Damn it, baker."

"I'm not trying to provoke you, professor."

"Uh-huh."

"I'm out here to work on the oven," he gestures to the heap of bricks 20 paces from me. He walks over to me.

"I suppose I'll just sit here and puddle."

He leans down and kisses my lips. "In more ways than one, I hope. I'll take care of you later."

"Seriously? Y'all are just gonna talk like I can't hear you?" Prim asks.

Peeta laughs as he sits down at the end of my lounge and pulls my feet into his lap.

"Go back to your journal, Prim," I say.

"What are you reading?"Peeta asks me.

"Something light. It's an old article."

"Well, if it's old, maybe I have a shot at understanding it?"

I shrug my shoulders. "It's an article from PNAS."

"Penis?"

I hear Prim chuckle. "Mind your business," I tell her. She lifts her journal higher, covering her face.

"P. N. A. S. stands for Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences."

"Oh." Peeta laughs at himself. "What's the article about?"

"Well... It about how male fetal cells float around in your blood after you give birth for up to 27 years."

"Interesting."

"Mmhm. And another article suggests that baby boys may leave a lasting impression on your brain as well."

"Well, that's a nice thought," Peeta says.

"How so?"

"Well... Those male fetal cells you're taking about are a mix of you and me right?"

"Uh-huh."

"So then even after the twins are born, you'll still have a part of me in you. "

I smile at him. "You're trying to influence me."

"My master plan to control your thoughts is working." I swat at his arm.

"What about baby girls?" Prim asks. I turn my head to look at her. "Do I have Rory on my mind or what?"

My smile falters. "That would mean I still have Gale-" I look down." And DJ's mother still has-"

"_You_ are DJ's mother. Just ask her." I smile softly. "Plus I have the paperwork saying so." Peeta puts a hand on my belly and moves it around, feeling for activity. He finds it pretty quickly. "They're active now huh?"

"Uh-huh," I say. "It's cus I'm relaxing."

"You sure it not cus they've had so much caffeine?" My guilty smile gives me away. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

Peeta shakes his head as he reaches for my sweet tea. He downs it in several gulps. I roll my eyes at him.

"Refreshing," he says as he places my feet back onto the lounge and stands.

I watch him walk away. I stare at his ass, knowing there's a cocky smile smeared across his face. He reaches the brick pile and begins mixing cement. I tear my eyes away from him and turn my attention back to the girls. They're not chasing each other anymore. Rue and Posy are on the swings, while DJ leans against the climbing wall and fiddles with her phone. She's probably texting Cecilia. Or maybe Kyle.

"It's probably not the same."

"Huh?"

"With baby girls," Prim clarifies. "They probably don't linger the way boys do. Would explain why there are so many mamas boys in the world."

"Prim-"

"There'd probably be no way to tell anyway. Since we have female DNA, there'd probably be no way to even separate out what a baby girl would contribute to her mother, if anything."

"Everything all right?"

"Yeah... Just... Rory wants another one."

"And you don't?"

She looks out to the girls then back down to my belly. "There are already so many children in our family. Besides I'll finally be done with my residency in October. And I did it with a child. I can't imagine not having to shelve my career with two."

"Or four?"

"Katniss, I didn't mean-"

"It's fine. I'm comfortable where I am. But if you're still feeling ambitious, then maybe you'd be better off telling Rory than me?"

"Oh I tell him. You know I ain't exactly shy when it comes to expressing myself." I chuckle at her. Her eyes drift down to my middle again. "You sure you don't want a baby shower? Or maybe a house raisin'?"

"I'm sure."

"Not even something small?"

I purse my lips. "About the size of our wedding would be perfect."

"I'm still pissed at you about that. How could you two get hitched and not have us there?"

"We didn't have anyone there. We'll have a ceremony next year."

"Why do I get the feeling I'll be hearing that year after year?"

"Because you're over dramatic?"

"Because you're afraid," Prim says. "I don't think this'll turn out like it did with Gale."

My smile disappears. "I don't want to talk about him."

"Does he call Rue?" I give her a look. What did I _just _say? "One question, I promise."

I roll my eyes. "Yes, he calls Rue. Still sends us packages too... The last one even came to the right address. But, it still feels off."

"He'll come-"

"Ugh! If one more person tells me 'he'll come around,' I'm gonna tear my hair out. I don't know what on God's green earth it's gonna take, but whatever it is, we're fresh out of it!"

"I'm sorry."

"Can we please drop it?"

Prim nods. "So...Allen and Victor?"

"No."

X

I climb out of the Audi and exhale as my abdomen no longer feels crushed. I've got a craving for marshmallows …and Oreos. And though Peeta did offer to make me something, sometimes a girls got to go with her gut. I left my little family at home. The girls were out playing in the back yard and Peeta was still working on his oven.

The cookie aisle is easy enough to locate. I pick up a pack of classic Oreos. They have some with yellow dyed creme, but I need basics here. I find the marshmallows and immediately open the bag, popping one into my mouth with a sigh.

"Katniss?"

I struggle to chew the mouthful of sweets as I spin around. My eyes fall on Madge Undersee and I stifle a gasp.

"Ms. Undersee!"

"Nice to see you again," she smiles. I nod as I take out another marshmallow and take a human sized bite this time.

"You too. Enjoying your summer off?" Fucking my ex-husband, maybe?

"I am... I just wanted to apologize to you."

"Again?"

She laughs quietly. "I suppose so. I shouldn't have been around your daughter without your knowledge or permission."

I nod my head as I squeeze a marshmallow between my thumb and forefinger. "Are you... Still around?"

She purses her lips as she studies me.

"Honey, we're not where we were a year ago. I'm remarried and six months pregnant," I remind her. "I'm asking you since Rue's father has been less than forthcoming in the past." I can't bring myself to say Gale's name to her.

"He broke it off after he lost custody of Rue."

"Oh."

"He said he needed to act better. Has he been?" I hear concern in her voice.

"It's hard to say," I answer honestly.

"Well, Rue is a lovely girl. And that won't ever happen again."

"Thank you."

She smiles at me then she turns away. I let out a sigh and stuff another marshmallow into my mouth. Then I realize, she's still here, looking at me over her shoulder.

"When you see him...?"

I furrow my brow at her.

"Nevermind," she says and she quickly walks away.

X

"That's disgusting," Peeta complains as I take a bowl of marshmallows and butter out of the microwave. I pour some crushed up Oreos over it.

"You got something against Oreos?"

"I got something against what you're doing to them."

"Not all of us are as classy as you are in the kitchen, baker." I mix the entire thing together and sneak a fingerful. "Mmm."

"Pregnant women really do eat awful things."

Every now and then, Peeta says something that reminds me that I'm the first pregnant woman he's lived with. So instead of killing him, I smile. "I used to make these all the time growing up." I spoon the delicious mess into a glass baking pan. "They're no-bake."

"That's a blasphemous thing to say to a baker."

"I reckon so, but they are delicious." I scoop some onto my finger and offer it to him.

He leans forward, wrapping his fingers around my wrist and guides my finger to his mouth. "Not bad," he says. "I can make you something better though."

"I'm sure you could." I hop ...well... I manage to get onto the counter." I have every confidence that you could make me something with tiers. Maybe something inside out or upside down, and I bet fire would even be involved in it's presentation. But, right now all I want is marshmallows nuked with butter mixed with Oreos, all right?"

"Fine," he says as he steps between my legs. His hands find my hips and he squeezes. "But if you knew what you wanted, what took you so long at the store? Is it the fatigue?"

My smile fades and I shake my head. "I ran into Madge Undersee."

"Oh."

"She apologized to me."

"Again?"

I laugh. "That's what I said...I think she might..."

"What?"

"I think she...misses Gale."

Peeta raises his eyebrows. "Then she should call him."

"She says he broke it off after our custody battle. He said he needed to act better."

"Act better?"

"She's been in his apartment, when he had Rue. I think it was the final straw for Abernathy. Him not telling me about that. "

"Gale thinks that's why he lost custody of Rue," Peeta says, understanding.

"Yeah, maybe. Even though that was only part of it. Look, she slept with the man I was married to, knowing full well that he was married at the time...but, if what they had was real, then I'd hate for them to lose it."

Peeta eyes me suspiciously.

"I still don't want that heifer around my child."

Peeta laughs. "Now you sound like you."

I smile at him. "Sorry. We don't have to keep talking about this."

"It's alright. I know you want Gale to move on. But, do you think that's the right way? With the person he made mistakes with?"

"If that's who makes him happy. Besides that's not for me to say."

Peeta nods. "I have a lot to learn from you, professor."

"What do you say we trade? You got a special set of skills I'm interested in."

"Do I?"

"Mmhmm," I nod. His hand moves to cup my sex. "Fuck," I whisper.

"What are you interested in, woman?"

"Your hands," I breathe. He rubs me over my jeans.

"I have no idea where the children are. We should move this to the bedroom."

I nod, though there's not much I wouldn't agree to right now. The way he's rubbing me is blocking the rest of the world out.

"I can't wait," I pant.

Peeta looks around. "All right," he whispers. His hand slips under my shirt and he tugs down the maternity panel of my jeans. He pulls until his fingers can reach down to my center easily. His mouth fuses to mine as he quickly pushes aside my underwear and slides his thick fingers into me.

"Yes," I moan against his mouth. Peeta pulls away.

"Shhh, Katniss." His head whips around, and his fingers pump into me.

I lean my head against his shoulder as he curls his fingers in a come hither motion. My orgasm builds quickly. He knows my body, knows how to make me cum. I rock my hips, moving against his hand as he fucks me with his fingers.

"Feels good," I pant.

"I know. Hurry up," he commands as his thumb finds my clit.

"I'm trying...keep doing that." I grind on his hand harder, eager to find my release. This one would be difficult to explain to the girls, so I need to work fast.

"Mmm I feel your body gripping me."

"Uh-huh. I want you." I hold tightly onto his forearm.

"I want you too. You're so hot. It's making me want to fuck you."

"I want you to. I want you to take me."

"Me too. I want to feel you all around me. You're so wet for me"

"Always," I breathe. The tension builds inside of me. "Always for you."

"I feel it. I feel how much you want me."

"Mmhmm," I moan. Peeta shushes me. "I want yo-" Peeta's lips are on mine as the tension snaps inside of me. My mouth is open and I feel his breath heavy against me. My body shakes, and I contract around his fingers. I don't cry out. Instead I ride out my orgasm with a few "Mmms" and "Ohhhs" against his lips.

Peeta withdraws his hand from me and brings his fingers to his mouth. "You see how much a _gentleman_ can accomplish given just a few minutes."

I'm still biting my lip, still high on him, still wet for him. "What?"

"The things I do to you," he shakes his head. "And you're my wife. ...I finished sealing the basement windows," he says as he moves over to the sink and washes his hands. I get it. Business as usual. He expects me to sit here and act like I'm not sitting in a puddle.

"Peeta, she's gonna have sex." Peeta glares at me. "Not today. Maybe not with Kyle. But it's going to happen. We should help her feel safe and secure, not trapped and misunderstood."

"I'm not-"

"You sealed her bedroom windows."

"Of course I did! She's down there all by herself!"

"And I'm saying that the motivator should be her safety, not her chastity."

"One in the same if you ask me."

"They don't have to be."

"She's 13!"

"Yes, and I want her to trust us for as long as possible." I interlace our fingers. "At least try to ease up?"

We hear giggling come down the steps before he can say anything further. The girls head down into the basement, to DJ's room...where the windows don't open.

"She's a good kid."

"All right. I'll try."

X

I'm curled up with my feet in Peeta's lap in the breakfast nook. I sip my chamomile tea and enjoy the rare moment when the twins acrobatics stop while I'm relaxing. Peeta absently rubs my leg.

"That feels so good, baker."

I've been too fatigued in the past week to make love and I hate it, especially because my libido is still so high. Nothing like falling asleep with your own fingers between your legs to bum a girl out.

"You still feeling tired?"

"Mmhmm. I can't break out of this fatigue. Especially not with you rationing my sweet tea."

"It's for your own good. You're a junkie."

I roll my eyes and take another sip of chamomile. My phone buzzes with a new text message from Gale.

_I'm at the cafe eating breakfast. Have a meeting in DC this afternoon. Please come get this months child support check_

"You gotta be fucking kidding me."

"What's wrong?"

"Gale," I spit. I shift around in my seat. Then I send him a reply.

_Drop it in the mail?_

"What does he want?"

"He wants me to come to the cafe. Like I didn't already spend more hours of my life there than necessary with him."

"What for?" Peeta asks.

_Come on, Catnip_

"He wants to give me Rue's child support in person."

"Really?"

I look at Peeta. "Yeah." Peeta nods. "What's going on in your head?"

"Nothing. I just think that's a good gesture is all. No more hiding behind a mailbox. He wants to put it in your hand, like a man. I respect that."

"You do?"

"Sure. But, I mean, I know how tired you are. He doesn't see that. He doesn't live with you."

"I am pretty tired." But, Gale's been so distant since he got back. I've been giving him space, waiting on his olive branch. Is this it? "You think I should go?"

"Not if you don't want to," Peeta shrugs.

"Come with me?"

"Nah, I promised the girls grilled cheeses for lunch. Besides it'll be faster if it's just you, right?"

"Yeah... You're all right with this?"

"Well... To be honest, no. But I'm trying to be. If he's taking steps to do right by my stepdaughter, then I'll just have to put my personal feelings aside."

"You're a good man."

Peeta smiles at me. "You're a good woman."

I sigh. "I suppose I could run down there." I send Gale a message.

_Fine_

"Don't let him rope you into an argument," Peeta cautions as he helps me up.

I think about climbing the stairs and getting dressed, but there are so many of them. I figure fuck it. I leave the house wearing the same white tank top and black gauchos I slept in last night. I slip my feet into flip-flops, grab my keys and head out the door.

I make my way over to the municipal parking lot and quickly climb out the car. I walk to the cafe, ready to run to the bathroom when I'm met with a chorus of shouting.

"Surprise!"

I look around and find the cafe has been decorated with blue paper lanterns, balloons, and streamers.

Prim comes up to me and gives me a hug. "You thought you'd get away with not having a shower?"

I look around. Finn and Annie are here (and Annie looks like she's ready to blow). Johanna smiles at me and hooks her thumb over to a group of men - Peeta's friends - I've only met a couple of them myself. Gale and Rory chat together in the back, while Peeta directs the girls and Cecilia over to a table. Cecilia's parents, Fred and Angel, wave.

I take one look at myself and say...

"I gotta pee."

Prim leads me to the bathroom and after I relieve myself, she hands me a big pink destination maternity box. Inside is a beautiful black and white dress and when I slip it on, it accentuates my belly perfectly. She clamps a blue clothespin on my collar. I emerge from the bathroom a few minutes later, and hear the whistles and cat-calls of Johanna.

"Whoo! Sexy mama!" She whistles again.

This gets Peeta's attention and he raises an eyebrow at me. He's by my side in and instant, pressing his lips to mine while his fingertips trail down my arms.

"You look beautiful, lover."

"Lover? You think I'm not gonna get you back for this later?"

He shrugs his shoulders and reaches behind me. "If I'm going to be punished, I may as well go for gold!" He deposits a straw hat onto my head.

"You're digging your own grave here, baker."

Peeta yanks the clothespin from my collar. "That's one of the forbidden words." He points to the chalkboard, which usually has the day's specials written on it. But today, there's simply a list of words.

Baby

Twins

Boy

Katniss

Peeta

Rue

DJ

Mellark

Baker

Professor

"Get it together, woman." He pins it on himself.

I roll my eyes. I remember this game. "Now, how come 'woman' ain't on the list?"

"Oversight in my favor," he winks. "Talk to Prim. But right now, come with me. There's some folks who want to meet you."

I spend the next few minutes greeting my guests and thanking them for coming. Peeta introduces me to his friends Seeder and Brutus, who Johanna immediately takes a liking to. I manage to earn a couple of clothespins, thanks to introductions then I leave them chatting at a table. I head over to speak with Mrs. Rooba, the cafe owner.

"Congratulations, girl."

"Thank you. And thank you for letting us use your space."

She shakes her head. She knows I'm thanking her for more than today.

"You're welcome. Now go on, enjoy your party...if you can." She gestures to Gale, who's headed my way.

I turn around and he slowly leans in with his eyebrows raised, asking for permission. I roll my eyes at myself before turning my head and leaning towards him offering him my cheek. When his lips touch my skin, I don't shudder. I'm finally free of whatever hold he had on me. I smile.

"Co-conspirator," I accuse.

"They goaded me into it, love. I swear."

"Mmhmm."

Gale's eyes drift over to Peeta. "He seems rather excited. He must not remember how much work a newborn is."

Gale doesn't know how much Peeta had to do. Once Delly Sr.'s PPD kicked in, he pretty much became the primary caregiver.

"Do you?" I challenge.

"Vaguely," he smiles. He pulls an envelope from his pocket and extends it to me.

"Here."

"Oh." My face falls.

"Oh, no. Bugger, I'm terrible at this. This isn't what you're thinking."

"What am I thinking?"

"This isn't the child support check. Well, that's in there too. But it's a gift. For..." He gestures to my belly.

"Oh."

"I was never any good at gift giving or gift wrapping, as you're well aware." I furrow my brow as he continues to ramble. "So I got you gift cards... Buy buy baby, Macy's, even Lowe's since you're still working on the new house. Which I haven't even see yet, sorry. Rory mentioned that Mellark's building an oven in the backyard." Gale takes a breath and I try not to be angry that he still won't call Peeta by his first name. "I don't want to add it to the pile of gifts since your check is in here too. Here." he extends the envelope again. I take it from his hands.

"You go nuts in the gift card aisle at the Harris Teeter?"

"It was Safeway, up in DC," he smiles.

"Thank you."

"Sure," he says. His eyes drift from mine and there's a moment of uncomfortable silence.

"Katniss, do you think... Maybe I could come by the house, take you and Rue out?"

"Um... Well." I don't like the idea of Rue and I going off and leaving Peeta and DJ like that. I think for now, activities involving everyone would be a good place to start." Maybe join us all for dinner? On second thought, make that lunch. I can't stay up that late anymore."

"Okay."

"Actually I was hoping maybe when school starts that you'd start taking Rue to gymnastics?"

Gale nods. "I'd like that. Could you send me the timeslots? I'll work it into my schedule."

"All right."

Another moment of silence passes. Then Gale reaches out and squeezes my elbow. I don't pull away. "You're happy now, aren't you, love?"

"Happier than a dead pig in sunshine."

"Is that... good?"

I smile. "Yes. I'm happy."

"Good." He offers me a small dimple-less smile in return.

"What about you?"

"Better than ever," he answers too quickly. I frown in response.

"You miss her."

The color drains from Gale's face and he looks away. "Miss who?"

"Nevermind, don't answer that. I just think, maybe you should think about giving her a call." Gale takes a step backwards, as he tries to make sense of my words, or maybe why those words are coming out of my mouth. "I want you to be happy too," I tell him.

"Like I said. I've never been better. Enjoy your party."

"You're leaving?"

"I really do have a meeting in D.C."

"Oh."

"I'll just go say goodbye to Rue."

"All right."

"See you soon."

Well that was awkward. But, I do enjoy my party. I enjoy seeing my friends and family mingle together. I enjoy watching DJ pull Rue into her lap while they play a game of baby-related charades. I enjoy comparing bellies with Annie. I even enjoy opening my gifts, despite the audience, and am floored by the generosity I've experienced today.

Prim's passing out jars of baby food with the labels ripped off, roping everyone into a game of "guess the baby food," when Annie and I take a few minutes in the corner. We both sit, feet up, pregnant as hell.

"39 weeks, 2 days. I'm done."

"You're done? I'm just as big as you are, and I'm 32 weeks!" I grumble. "You finish your birth plan with your midwife?"

"Fuck my birth plan. I want this thing out of me."

I smile. If only babies knew what their mothers endure for them. "How about your bags? Packed yet?"

"Mmhmm. And I pre-checked in to the hospital 2 weeks ago." She bounces up and down in her chair. "I wonder if there's a way to shake the baby out."

"Hang in there, mama. It's the home stretch."

"You too."

"Don't forget to text me, all right? Or have Finn do it. We'll come see you in the hospital."

Despite things settling in my home life, I still can't bring myself to go back to the old house. I let Peeta manage every aspect of it. But, Peeta was happy to report their disheveled state last time he stopped by. So the change in scenery has done them good.

"Mommy, mommy, look!" Rue says running up to me. She's wearing a shirt that says "Big Sister." "Look what Auntie Prim got us!"

DJ appears behind her, wearing a matching shirt. I smile.

"My girls," I say looking between them.

"You excited?" Annie asks.

"Uh-huh. I always wanted siblings," DJ says.

"And I get to help name the babies!" Rue beams.

"What do you want to name them?" Annie smiles.

Rue considers for a moment before answering. "I like names that start with M. Like Mikey, or Max..."

"Those are great ideas, Rue. If their names start with the letter M, then their initials will be M.M. And I love m&ms!"

"Me too!" DJ says.

"I like the peanut ones," Rue agrees.

I shake my head, as Annie engages the girls in a discussion about the finer

points of selecting an m&m. Apparently they make them with white chocolate and even pretzels. Mmm, pretzels. I could go for a pretzel right now.

"Hey lover," Peeta calls me and I roll my eyes.

"Yes, ba-ah. Yes, my Adonis," I tease.

"Mmm, I like that." He kisses the back of my hand.

"What do you want?" I smile as I sink further into the chair.

"It's time for cake."

"Why didn't you say so?" Peeta helps me up. I give up on my shoes, even my flip-flops feel tight and I waddle my way over to the table where Peetas set up the cake.

It's gorgeous, of course. It's a small group, so it's only one tier, but it's a round cake decorated with blue onesies around the sides and two sleeping fondant babies on top. Peeta's taken care to make the babies match my skin tone, olive, much darker than my fair skinned baker's complexion. I can't help but wonder what these boys will look like.

"It's beautiful, baker."

"Oooh!" Rue gasps and DJ yanks my clothespins from my collar.

"Here's the best part," Peeta says as he cuts me a slice.

I accept the plate he offers me. "Shortcake?"

"Mmhmm. Mixed berry so I could get it blue. I considered growing some of those blue strawberries but they're GMO and spliced with fish DNA."

I've eaten half the slice before his sentence is done. "Whatever, baker. It's delicious. But fish doesn't sound too bad right now either. Or a pretzel."

"I hand you a slice of cake, and you're thinking about fish and pretzels?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I'm hungry."

He smiles at me and he resumes his task of cutting and plating the cake. I eat two slices without moving from where I'm standing and then turn back to Peeta. He's still cutting up the cake, even though everyone's already happily eating.

"Baker, put the knife down."

"Why?"

I lean in and whisper into his ear. "I need your help with something."

"My help?"

"I've got an itch. Can't reach it."

"Really?"

I bite my lower lip. "Mmhmm. Help me?"

I take his hand and we leave our party behind. I lead him to the bathroom. I shut the door behind us.

"Make me feel good?" I beg as I lean against the bathroom door.

His eyes find mine and he studies me for a long moment. He slowly nods his head.

"All right…" He leans in and whispers into my ear. "I'll make you feel good."

A few minutes later, as our breath is labored and our bodies erupt in sweat, he pushes into me. I allow this memory to overwrite any others that came before it. Other than my husband, nothing else counts.

* * *

**So…what are we naming the twins? Don't forget to send me a message or a review with your suggestions!**


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